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I am so sorry to hear that you are having to go thru the hell that so many of

us here go thru. When did your daughter start her " crazy " behaviors?

Did this all come as a surprise to you when she did not invite you to her

wedding?

What are the reasons she gives for not wanting a relationship with you and

your husband?

I can only say that if there are no grandchildren, I would let her go. If

she is not acting comletely crazy and self destruvtive, I would definitely let

her go. Since she doesn't want a relationship with you, you really don't have

a choice and it sounds as though you have been trying for the past year to

keep open the lines of communication with her to no avail.

They may be ill, but I, myself, have trouble getting past the " spoiled brat "

and " entitlement " behaviors that most of them exhibit. So, you reach a point

that you don't really " like " them anymore anyway. I know I say to myself, " if

I were not her mother, would I like this person? " and the answer is NO. So,

it is easier to let the relationship go.

In my case, it seems to be like a divorce because I adore my grandsons and

want to maintain that relationship. So, I must tolerate her and her obvious

ignoring me and body language (that screams " oh, you again? " ) when I pick up the

boys as though I am the one who is inferior. Because we all know I ruined her

life by being over protective!!! And she is married to a jail bird, so that

makes her so superior.

But, I have personally reached the point that I don't care about relating to

my daughter-----she is a liar, thief, self centered person and she cares

nothing for me so why should I care anything about her any longer? And quite

honestly we have absolutely nothing in common. You can only be slapped in the

face

so many times before you wake up and say, ENOUGH !!!! As parents we have done

the best we could do, WE DESERVE BETTER THAN WHAT THEY DISH OUT.

Perhaps, someday it they can treat us with the respect we deserve and can

exhibit some genuine interest in us as people, then maybe we can resume a

relationship with them. For now , I would let her go. I am certain you

deserve

better. How DARE SHE put you thru this torture and I am sure disrespect

(because that seems to be high on the bp list of behaviors).

Jean

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