Guest guest Posted July 12, 2005 Report Share Posted July 12, 2005 Carolyn, Thank you for your reply to my post. You are a wise person, I always find your posts very positive and insightful. I had not thought of the situation as being a learning opportunity for my daughter, but I think you're very right. Being this is so fresh in her mind also when she goes to therapy tomorrow will help too. I'm doing better than her Dad, tho, as I've educated myself and read and been a member of this list since 2003. He's just not able to deal with things as well as I can and I think he just came to the realization that he was looking into a mirror this week end when my daughter went into her rage, so he's still trying to soak it all in. His sister is the same way. He's a good man tho in all other respects....is a good provider, hard worker, helps others, loves his family, but was kind of clueless when it comes to his own behavior how similar he and his daughter really are. He was so traumatized by his sister's behavior and the drama she created in the family that he didn't tie in his own. He always told me he felt like the victim of his sister's rages and behavior. Now he has alot to think about. Nonetheless, we deal with the here and now and not the past...... Thank you so much, Carolyn Jan Re: crazy > Jan, > > Sorry to hear you all had a tough weekend with this episode. I'm > sure it was shocking and upsetting especially after your daughter > has done so well. But I think that due to the fact that your > daughter does " get " what she was thinking, and is going to therapy, > perhaps you should have titled your post " learning opportunity " . Of > course it is never appropriate to get violent, but there were quite > a few things that came out of this event that you could use as > conversation starters with your daughter, and your husband, which > could ultimately come to good. > > I assume the other girl was not seriously hurt by being hit > (hopefully). It actually could have been a lot worse. Your daughter > may be at a crossroads in her therapy where this could jump-start > some new realizations about how she thinks and acts. Sometimes a > crisis like this can be a breakthrough which will allow her to think > on a new level. > > Carolyn > > > > > Hi all, > > > > What a week end ender!! My daughter (who has been doing so well > for so long) had a major setback (at least in my estimation) on > Sunday. > > > > Here's what happened: She brought a friend home with her from > school on Saturday evening. She's had this friend home with her > before and she seems like a nice girl. Our town had it's special > weekend doings with a parade, street dance, carnival, etc. and they > were out til after midnight and came home to bed. No problems. My > daughter's friend woke up before my daughter. (Now as alot of you > know, some BP's like their sleep, as is the case with my daugher-- > she could sleep 12 hours straight no problem) So she got something > to eat, took a shower and went on the computer for a while and then > when my daughter finally got up they decided to go down to the lake > and go swimming. Well, at some point while they were getting ready, > the friend called her boyfriend and for some reason all of a sudden, > she wanted to go back to the town where they (my daugher and she) > were living (75 miles away) instead. So she talked her boyfriend > into coming and picking her up, but she wanted my daughter to give > her a ride to a major highway where they would meet. Anyway, my > daughter came downstairs p----sed as all getout and she said to my H > and I that she shouldn't ever try to make friends because all they > do is take advantage of her, etc. and that she must be such a boring > friend that they all want to get away from her. > > > > So, this friend asked my husband if he'd give her a ride into our > town (7 mi) and he said no problem, but when my daugher found out > that she asked her dad for a ride, she flew into a rage at this girl > and punched her in the face in front of my Husband!!! He had to get > in the middle and keep them apart! We are in total shock. I never > thought she would ever get violent with someone! She always had > problems keeping friends, but I never thought she would ever hit > someone! Am I just being naiive? > > > > The thing of it is, my husband flies into these rages too. He > never has taken his rage out on people before, but he sure has > broken alot of chairs, weed whips, you name it if it will smash, and > it's within grabbing distance when he snaps, it's gone. The girls > and I have witnessed many of these rages over the years and they are > scary. I'm glad he was there to witness it in my daughter, tho, > because now he knows what we feel when he rages. > > > > I know the reasoning behind the rage. She recognized it herself, > but couldn't stand the pain of somehow being " boring " or of being > abandoned by this friend. (This girl probably had her own reasons > for wanting to go home, none of which had anything to do with my > daughter being " boring " or defective in any way. It could have been > that her boyfriend wanted her home, or that she had something she > had to do, or whatever) She took her pain and turned it on her > friend, blamed her friend and lost her friend.....all very very sad. > Now she goes around saying stuff like " I should bring all my Barbie > Dolls down to the apartment and play with them, since I don't have > any friends " !!! Well, duh.....they just CAN'T see or realize. > > > > She has an appointment with her counselor tomorrow eve after > school, so I hope she ups her sessions to weekly again. > > > > > > > > Anyway, thanks for listening.... > > Jan > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2005 Report Share Posted July 12, 2005 In a message dated 07/11/2005 9:26:50 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, openjoyful@... writes: What a difference a little time and space gave to my perception of her writing. And this I think is the value of detachment. Carolyn Carolyn, How true it is! Your story no different than mine. I thought the writings were horrendous. The evil and how morbid. Extremely promiscuous, and the scary part, proud of it. I found a list of boy's names........ a horrible amount of them, all before she was 17. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Suffering emotional abandonment from her father, so we look elsewhere to replace it. Dont feel guilty about reading her diary, I don't. Reading truly exposes them and opens our minds to who they really are. To me, it was an advantage to know, in order to understand her and get her the help she so desperately needed. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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