Guest guest Posted December 28, 2007 Report Share Posted December 28, 2007 Oh Akiba, that was so beautiful, touching and true. You write so well! hugs to you! ShirleyThere is only one way to happiness, and that is cease worrying about the things which are beyond the power of our will. My latest BLOG entry Beaches When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea. That's the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes me, little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit, fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family, friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS exacerbations. ..Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a Tsunami to my beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves, all I can do is watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look back at the richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now sometimes I hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss myself, and desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will never dance again..       ~*~ Akiba ~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2007 Report Share Posted December 28, 2007 Dearest Akiba, On the other hand, your MIND seems to be dancing quite well, with great agility, creativity, and a sense of analogy. Thank you for what you wrote. We each do feel like that, and rather often. I am just grateful for your creativity and writing ability. Love to you and to all in our group, n > > > > > > Beaches > > > > > When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can > no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach > somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea. > That's the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes > me, little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see > pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit, > fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the > beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family, > friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are > the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS > exacerbations...Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a > Tsunami to my beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves, > all I can do is watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look > back at the richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now > sometimes I hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss > myself, and desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will > never dance again.       > > > ~*~ Akiba ~*~ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2007 Report Share Posted December 28, 2007 Thank you Hugs right back atcha Akiba -- Re: My latest BLOG entry Oh Akiba, that was so beautiful, touching and true. You write so well! hugs to you! ShirleyThere is only one way to happiness, and that is cease worrying about the things which are beyond the power of our will. My latest BLOG entry Beaches When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea. That's the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes me, little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit, fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family, friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS exacerbations. ..Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a Tsunami to my beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves, all I can do is watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look back at the richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now sometimes I hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss myself, and desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will never dance again..       ~*~ Akiba ~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2007 Report Share Posted December 28, 2007 Thank you sweety. I posted it because I do think we all might feel that way to some degree or another. It came to me last night and I thought it valid. I just wish my mind weren't the only part of me dancing... Hugs Akiba -- Re: My latest BLOG entry Dearest Akiba,On the other hand, your MIND seems to be dancing quite well,with great agility, creativity, and a sense of analogy. Thank youfor what you wrote. We each do feel like that, and rather often.I am just grateful for your creativity and writing ability.Love to you and to all in our group,n>>>>>> Beaches>>>>> When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can> no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach> somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea.> That's the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes> me, little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see> pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit,> fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the> beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family,> friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are> the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS> exacerbations...Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a> Tsunami to my beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves,> all I can do is watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look> back at the richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now> sometimes I hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss> myself, and desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will> never dance again.      >>> ~*~ Akiba ~*~>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2007 Report Share Posted December 28, 2007  Very powerful and profound post, Akiba... You are who we know you to be. That person is strong, vital, loving, kind, generous. Yes, MS is robbing you. It is unfair. Totally and completely unfair. The dance is within you Akiba. It is. Dance on. I love you, Kate Beaches When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea. That's the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes me, little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit, fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family, friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS exacerbations...Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a Tsunami to my beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves, all I can do is watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look back at the richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now sometimes I hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss myself, and desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will never dance again.       ~*~ Akiba ~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2007 Report Share Posted December 28, 2007 Akiba, Wow, what a powerful email. What you said about your old self sounds exactly how I feel. yes, I put on a "happy" smile but I have days that I mourn my old self and like you said, I will never dance again, well maybe....ha ha my MS dance but I do mourn my old self, not just fisical but also emotional and all the invisable signs. For instance, I can't drive a whole lot and for the first time I was driving by myself,,,,,do you know I actually felt "normal" because noone could see my cane or how I walk, it was me, the old me but I kept saying to myself......if they only knew that it isn't me........I feel much better now.....thanks for telling me your feelings as I'm going through that myself. Darlene Kickin Cane covers www.canecovers.org -- My latest BLOG entry Beaches When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea. That's the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes me, little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit, fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family, friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS exacerbations...Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a Tsunami to my beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves, all I can do is watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look back at the richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now sometimes I hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss myself, and desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will never dance again.       ~*~ Akiba ~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2007 Report Share Posted December 29, 2007 Akiba, This brought tears to my eyes. You should submit this writing to the MS Connection magazine. It really is fitting for everyone who suffers. People don't realize that you lose yourself when you are dx with this disease and you have a time of grieving at first and you also have a time of grieving with every exacerbation. It's hard to have to re-invent yourself over and over again and to feel like you must be happy with who you are. Thank you so much for this. I am saving this one to my computer to share with my family and friends as well as the Spoon Theory. Awesome!!! Hugs Peggy >> Beaches > > When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can> no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach> somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea. That> s the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes me,> little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see> pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit,> fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the> beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family,> friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are> the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS exacerbations..> Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a Tsunami to my> beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves, all I can do is> watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look back at the> richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now sometimes I> hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss myself, and> desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will never dance> again.       > > ~*~ Akiba ~*~> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 Absolute beautiful, Akiba. HUGS, Challis My latest BLOG entry Beaches When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea. That's the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes me, little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit, fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family, friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS exacerbations. ..Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a Tsunami to my beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves, all I can do is watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look back at the richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now sometimes I hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss myself, and desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will never dance again.       ~*~ Akiba ~*~ Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008  Wow, I wish I could write like that My latest BLOG entry Beaches When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea. That's the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes me, little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit, fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family, friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS exacerbations. ..Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a Tsunami to my beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves, all I can do is watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look back at the richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now sometimes I hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss myself, and desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will never dance again.       ~*~ Akiba ~*~ Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.19.19/1258 - Release Date: 2/4/2008 10:10 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2008 Report Share Posted February 7, 2008 No, you don't. I was extremely depressed when I wrote that. You write perfectly well as it is. Hugs Sister. Akiba -- Re: My latest BLOG entry  Wow, I wish I could write like that My latest BLOG entry Beaches When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea. That's the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes me, little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit, fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family, friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS exacerbations. ..Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a Tsunami to my beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves, all I can do is watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look back at the richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now sometimes I hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss myself, and desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will never dance again.       ~*~ Akiba ~*~ Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.19.19/1258 - Release Date: 2/4/2008 10:10 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2008 Report Share Posted February 7, 2008 Thank you sweetie Hugs back atcha Akiba -- Re: My latest BLOG entry Absolute beautiful, Akiba. HUGS, Challis My latest BLOG entry Beaches When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea. That's the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes me, little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit, fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family, friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS exacerbations. ..Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a Tsunami to my beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves, all I can do is watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look back at the richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now sometimes I hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss myself, and desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will never dance again.       ~*~ Akiba ~*~ Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2008 Report Share Posted February 7, 2008  Only on a good day and I go left brain with help from above My latest BLOG entry Beaches When I look back at all the things I used to be able to do, that now I can no longer do, I feel a bit like a beach. A nice, clean, sandy beach somewhere tropical, with blue skies and coconuts. And there's the Sea. That's the MS. Every clear, sparkling wave takes a few of my grains, erodes me, little by little, grain by grain. People don't SEE the MS, they just see pretty waves, frolic in them, not realizing I am being taken, bit by bit, fragment by fragment, grain by grain. Some days are stormy. Those days the beach is empty and I am alone. There might be a few storm watchers (family, friends), but I still feel alone and empty those days. Those days also are the ones that erode me the fastest. Then there are the MS exacerbations. ..Tropical Storms that erode me even faster. Stress can be a Tsunami to my beach. I feel helpless against the onslaught of those waves, all I can do is watch myself being taken, feel myself being lessened, look back at the richness my life used to be. I used to dance on those waves, now sometimes I hate them, hate what they're doing to me. I mourn myself, miss myself, and desperately want myself back. But I know it is not to be, I will never dance again.       ~*~ Akiba ~*~ Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.19.19/1258 - Release Date: 2/4/2008 10:10 AM No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.19.19/1258 - Release Date: 2/4/2008 10:10 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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