Re: The Bridge

[Guest guest]

On youtube someone compiled the segments from the movie about Gene, big WARNING

here at the very end of the clip he is shown from a distance jumping off the

bridge so stop it before that if you need to. It isn't gory but quite

disturbing. I did misquote a bit - the woman speculates about his mothers

dependence on him but it wasn't something he'd said to her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRaix9rlzOg

>

> I just watched " The Bridge " the documentary on suicides at the Golden Gate

bridge. (it's on Hulu) It's a deeply moving film - I'm working through many

emotions in response to it, but there is one bit I just had to share here.

>

> There's one jumper that's profiled named Gene. My ears perked up right away

when they said he grew up just him and his mother, so close, and neither had any

significant relationship with anyone else. He stayed bonded to her till she

died. In the picture of the two of them you can see the crazy in her eyes and

the shy weariness in his. But I thought nahhhh I'm just projecting here. But

then it's revealed when he turned to his mother about his suicidal thoughts that

she told him *he had no right to do it after all she'd invested in him and

couldn't do that as long as she lived* can you believe? saying you are here to

serve me but feel free to off yourself after I'm dead! And sadly that's what

he did not long after after failing at attempts to find love and work. The

older female friend who reported what his mother said also said she believed

that his mother needed him as a child to help her continue to live and that he

figured out early on that was his role.

>

> Does any of this sound familiar? My heart broke over it and then I got angry

for him, for me, for everyone born to be a crutch to a parent.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is so sad.

, the way you described it (I haven't seen The Bridge) her with the crazy

in her eyes and him with the shy weariness -- it's so sad that he left the

planet practically as an emotional slave to her! She probably badgered him into

not having friends of any kind.

> >

> > I just watched " The Bridge " the documentary on suicides at the Golden Gate

bridge. (it's on Hulu) It's a deeply moving film - I'm working through many

emotions in response to it, but there is one bit I just had to share here.

> >

> > There's one jumper that's profiled named Gene. My ears perked up right

away when they said he grew up just him and his mother, so close, and neither

had any significant relationship with anyone else. He stayed bonded to her till

she died. In the picture of the two of them you can see the crazy in her eyes

and the shy weariness in his. But I thought nahhhh I'm just projecting here.

But then it's revealed when he turned to his mother about his suicidal thoughts

that she told him *he had no right to do it after all she'd invested in him and

couldn't do that as long as she lived* can you believe? saying you are here to

serve me but feel free to off yourself after I'm dead! And sadly that's what

he did not long after after failing at attempts to find love and work. The

older female friend who reported what his mother said also said she believed

that his mother needed him as a child to help her continue to live and that he

figured out early on that was his role.

> >

> > Does any of this sound familiar? My heart broke over it and then I got

angry for him, for me, for everyone born to be a crutch to a parent.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at @... SEND HER

ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP.

>

> To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL

() for your copy. We also refer to " Understanding the Borderline

Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can

find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

>

> From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE

and the SWOE Workbook.

[Guest guest]

Hi , good to hear from you - I'd been wondering where you'd gone off to.

Sorry to hear you've been struggling with feeling bad. Did watching the movie

help any? I know it's weird, but it actually helped my depression to watch it -

it created a feeling of " Hell no, not me, those bastards aren't gonna make me do

it! " Those bastards being my FOO, former bullies, you name it. I did feel very

sad for the people and like you very disturbed by the lady interviewed in shadow

who said that she refused her friend's request to spend time with her just after

he'd said he was suicidal. OTOH, everyone has a right to boundaries and perhaps

she was overwhelmed with what he'd already shared, but OTOH she was one of the

last to ever see him alive. It gets complicated too with people like BPD types

who use suicide threats as a deliberate manipulation ploy...kinda gives people

with the real intention a harder time to be taken seriously.

That's interesting what you felt about the bridge driving over it - I can see

too why people might choose it. It's guaranteed but also provides a last chance

for fate/God to intervene and stop them since it is so public.

> >

> > I just watched " The Bridge " the documentary on suicides at the Golden Gate

bridge. (it's on Hulu) It's a deeply moving film - I'm working through many

emotions in response to it, but there is one bit I just had to share here.

> >

> > There's one jumper that's profiled named Gene. My ears perked up right

away when they said he grew up just him and his mother, so close, and neither

had any significant relationship with anyone else. He stayed bonded to her till

she died. In the picture of the two of them you can see the crazy in her eyes

and the shy weariness in his. But I thought nahhhh I'm just projecting here.

But then it's revealed when he turned to his mother about his suicidal thoughts

that she told him *he had no right to do it after all she'd invested in him and

couldn't do that as long as she lived* can you believe? saying you are here to

serve me but feel free to off yourself after I'm dead! And sadly that's what

he did not long after after failing at attempts to find love and work. The

older female friend who reported what his mother said also said she believed

that his mother needed him as a child to help her continue to live and that he

figured out early on that was his role.

> >

> > Does any of this sound familiar? My heart broke over it and then I got

angry for him, for me, for everyone born to be a crutch to a parent.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at @... SEND HER

ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP.

>

> To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL

() for your copy. We also refer to " Understanding the Borderline

Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can

find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

>

> From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE

and the SWOE Workbook.

[Guest guest]

Fiona, exactly, there should be some sort of cosmic law against it (emotional

slavery to a parent)....if you watch the YouTube link they show the crazy eye

picture in the first couple minutes. I'd be curious to know what you think.

> > >

> > > I just watched " The Bridge " the documentary on suicides at the Golden

Gate bridge. (it's on Hulu) It's a deeply moving film - I'm working through

many emotions in response to it, but there is one bit I just had to share here.

> > >

> > > There's one jumper that's profiled named Gene. My ears perked up right

away when they said he grew up just him and his mother, so close, and neither

had any significant relationship with anyone else. He stayed bonded to her till

she died. In the picture of the two of them you can see the crazy in her eyes

and the shy weariness in his. But I thought nahhhh I'm just projecting here.

But then it's revealed when he turned to his mother about his suicidal thoughts

that she told him *he had no right to do it after all she'd invested in him and

couldn't do that as long as she lived* can you believe? saying you are here to

serve me but feel free to off yourself after I'm dead! And sadly that's what

he did not long after after failing at attempts to find love and work. The

older female friend who reported what his mother said also said she believed

that his mother needed him as a child to help her continue to live and that he

figured out early on that was his role.

> > >

> > > Does any of this sound familiar? My heart broke over it and then I got

angry for him, for me, for everyone born to be a crutch to a parent.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at @ SEND HER

ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP.

> >

> > To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL

() for your copy. We also refer to " Understanding the Borderline

Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can

find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

> >

> > From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE

and the SWOE Workbook.

[Guest guest]

Hi , I am so sorry about your boyfriend being a philandering jerk. No

matter what issues you have or what distance there is between you that's just

NOT ok. In the past I've had boyfriends use the fact that I had triggers and

my reactions were sometimes based on that to get me to invalidate myself while

they got away with doing things that actually were wrong. That may not be the

dynamic here and if not just disregard all that I last wrote

Depression...hello darkness my old friend. I tend to have chronic depression

and if I don't actively do things that lift me out of it I tend to sink back

down. Still I'm holding my own right now which is enough. Sorry to hear you

are going through a rough time with grieving for your sister and now this with

your boyfriend. I hope you can call a counselor soon that can really help.

Oh and I had a rather rageful reaction myself to that woman turning the suicidal

guy away. She even said *the very phrase* people used on me when I was in the

same situation - " call me if you need anything " Um, I'm here right now in front

of you needing you to give a damn and you're fobbing me off and telling me to

call you? Stuff like that nearly drove me from ideation to action. Yet it has

helped for me to find some forgiveness for that because as I've learned with my

nada that sometimes one person can need way more than another is able to give

and it isn't a sin if another person can't give it. The person who needs isn't

necessarily wrong and neither is the person who can't meet the need...let me

tell you it took a long time after my worst crisis to come around to that pov,

but it's the only way I could make peace.

Anyway that got rambly, I hope you feel better soon and don't have to think

about Russian gulags too much.

> > >

> > > I just watched " The Bridge " the documentary on suicides at the Golden

Gate bridge. (it's on Hulu) It's a deeply moving film - I'm working through

many emotions in response to it, but there is one bit I just had to share here.

> > >

> > > There's one jumper that's profiled named Gene. My ears perked up

right away when they said he grew up just him and his mother, so close, and

neither had any significant relationship with anyone else. He stayed bonded to

her till she died. In the picture of the two of them you can see the crazy in

her eyes and the shy weariness in his. But I thought nahhhh I'm just projecting

here. But then it's revealed when he turned to his mother about his suicidal

thoughts that she told him *he had no right to do it after all she'd invested in

him and couldn't do that as long as she lived* can you believe? saying you are

here to serve me but feel free to off yourself after I'm dead! And sadly

that's what he did not long after after failing at attempts to find love and

work. The older female friend who reported what his mother said also said she

believed that his mother needed him as a child to help her continue to live and

that he figured out early on that was his role.

> > >

> > > Does any of this sound familiar? My heart broke over it and then I

got angry for him, for me, for everyone born to be a crutch to a parent.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at @ SEND HER

ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP.

> >

> > To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL

() for your copy. We also refer to " Understanding the Borderline

Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can

find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

> >

> > From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author

SWOE and the SWOE Workbook.