this reading spoke to me....

March 26, 2010

The following is a reading adapted for personal use from Courage to

Change in Alanon. I feel moved to share it because it spoke so

strongly to me when I read it. All I did was adapt what was said

about the Alcoholic family member. I suspect this is familiar to those

of you who also use Al-anon recovery in addressing our severely

dysfunctional family system, that is centered around a person

(diagnosed or not) with BPD.

I had a very difficult time believing that a personality disorder was

a disease. I was convinced that if they really wanted to, a

personality disordered people could change. After all, I was working

on my personality weaknesses. Wasn't it the same thing?

Then one day a member of my program likened personality disorder to

Alzheimer's disease. We see our loved ones slip away from us, in front

of our eyes, without their being aware of what is happening or being

able to stop it. They look perfectly normal on the outside, but the

sickness is progressing, and they become more and more irrational and

difficult to be around. When they have lucid moments and once again

seem to be themselves, we want to believe that they are well, but

these moments pass, and we despair. Before long, we find ourselves

resenting the very people we once loved.

I'll always be grateful to my friend because her exploration helped me

to accept the reality of my situation. Once I did, it was much easier

for me to separate the disease from the person.

Today's reminder

When I accept that a personality disorder is a diseease, I am forced

to face the fact that I am powerless over it. Only the can I gain the

freedom to focus on my own spiritual growth.

Today's reminder

When I accept that a personality disorder is a disease, I am forced to

face the fact that I am powerless over it. In my own case, I can see

very well how the other person needs to change. But this illness is

like a maze, with many dead-ends. The other person must find their own

way. I do best by focusing on my own spiritual growth.

" A family member has no more right to state, " If you loved me you

would heal. " than the right to say, " If you loved me, you would not

have diabetes. " Excessive emotional binges and bad behavior is a

symptom of the disease. It is a condition, not an act. " A Guide for

the Family of the Alcoholic

Comments welcome...

Best,

March 26, 2010

Thank you, so much, for sharing that reading. It was perfectly timed for me,

.

Blessings,

Karla

>

> The following is a reading adapted for personal use from Courage to

> Change in Alanon. I feel moved to share it because it spoke so

> strongly to me when I read it. All I did was adapt what was said

> about the Alcoholic family member. I suspect this is familiar to those

> of you who also use Al-anon recovery in addressing our severely

> dysfunctional family system, that is centered around a person

> (diagnosed or not) with BPD.

>

> I had a very difficult time believing that a personality disorder was

> a disease. I was convinced that if they really wanted to, a

> personality disordered people could change. After all, I was working

> on my personality weaknesses. Wasn't it the same thing?

>

> Then one day a member of my program likened personality disorder to

> Alzheimer's disease. We see our loved ones slip away from us, in front

> of our eyes, without their being aware of what is happening or being

> able to stop it. They look perfectly normal on the outside, but the

> sickness is progressing, and they become more and more irrational and

> difficult to be around. When they have lucid moments and once again

> seem to be themselves, we want to believe that they are well, but

> these moments pass, and we despair. Before long, we find ourselves

> resenting the very people we once loved.

>

> I'll always be grateful to my friend because her exploration helped me

> to accept the reality of my situation. Once I did, it was much easier

> for me to separate the disease from the person.

>

> Today's reminder

>

> When I accept that a personality disorder is a diseease, I am forced

> to face the fact that I am powerless over it. Only the can I gain the

> freedom to focus on my own spiritual growth.

>

> Today's reminder

>

> When I accept that a personality disorder is a disease, I am forced to

> face the fact that I am powerless over it. In my own case, I can see

> very well how the other person needs to change. But this illness is

> like a maze, with many dead-ends. The other person must find their own

> way. I do best by focusing on my own spiritual growth.

>

> " A family member has no more right to state, " If you loved me you

> would heal. " than the right to say, " If you loved me, you would not

> have diabetes. " Excessive emotional binges and bad behavior is a

> symptom of the disease. It is a condition, not an act. " A Guide for

> the Family of the Alcoholic

>

> Comments welcome...

>

> Best,

>

March 28, 2010

so true- this has so little to do about us- but their disease- which we cannot

change. thanks for sharing. malinda