thank you

[Guest guest]

Re: Thank you

Birmingham address until approx end of July:

715 Cahuba River Parc

Birmingham, AL 35243

Cell

May 23, 2000....the day when Cystic Fibrosis was a rose without thorns!

Burroughs, CPA

Reaching Out Foundation, Inc.

PO Box 870747

Stone Mountain, GA 30087

FAX

Cell

http://www.familyshoebox.com/family/Reachingoutfoundation

Reaching Out Foundation, Inc. is an all volunteer non-profit organization to

help the patients and families with Cystic Fibrosis.

.....to the day when Cystic Fibrosis will be a rose without thorns!

[Guest guest]

Joan

It is natural for you to grieve for the loss of your son, and the

person you had hoped and dreamed he would be. I think most all of us

have gone through (or are still going through) that process.

Unfortunately, you don't cry once and have the emotions taken care of;

instead, because your bp loved one has been so much a part of your

life, you will find many different times that you're hit by grief in

different situations.

I have never read the book Carolyn recommends, but it sounds

wonderful, and I hope it gives you a lot of the help you're looking

for.

Dot

[Guest guest]

Magical thinking is common in bp people I think. Like, the magic pill that will

cure me, the perfect relationship that will make everything OK, the

perfect...It's always just around the corner. It;s so hard for them to see that

THEY have to change, not the rest of the world!

Sophie

blue jay wrote:

Well another day. Thanks to everyone who sent along support and

suggestions. I appreciate that.

Carolyn: Thanks for the book referral. I'm going to buy it today and see

if I can find ways to cope better with this situation with my son. You're

right - he's sucking me into feeling like **I** need to solve his problems

for him. Thanks too for the Letting Go post. I'm going to print it out

and put it

in a place I can see it many times each day.

Dot: Your post was so good for me to read. I didn't take it as negative at

all. In fact, I think I needed to have that control issue waved in my face

again. He's controlling our family, through my interactions with him, and

it's got to stop. My husband and 21 yr. old daughter are deeply affected

by the situation with him -- probably most by the way I'm allowing him to

verbally beat me down. Yes I've been trying to reason with him, and the

futility of it is making me ill. I think that ties in with the co-dependant

theme......I'm desperately hoping I'll say the " right thing " to trigger some

sort of common sense response, but instead he gets angrier and angrier. Yes

I've allowed him to dump, and when I try (in my feeble way) to set a

boundary he's springs the guilt trip on me. That's why the book Carolyn

suggested is obviously something very important for me to look at. I have

reached the end of my rope with him - I spent most of yesterday crying.

Maybe that's part of the letting go process. As hard as it's going to be

for me, I'm going to ignore the ringing telephone today. I've got to try to

take control back - because I am emotionally exhausted.

Sophie: I know his fiancé isn't going to be there much longer, and he's

already told me if she leaves his life is over.....implying that he'll kill

himself. He's been on many meds since May 2004, and so far nothing seems to

have worked. Almost all had very negative side effects. But as Dot said,

he just doesn't seem ready yet to own his illness. Until last week, he

refused to see a counselor or attend a day program at his local hospital.

Now he does say he'll go. He's waiting for the magic pill to cure him - and

has no insight into the fact his behaviors are a contributing factor. He

verbally tells everyone he knows nothing will help him.

Elaine: It was great to read your post and know you've had a peaceful

morning. What a relief for you!! Two things you said made a lot of sense

to me. He is dumping on me, and it just helped to know this seems to go

with the territory. It gives me a bit of a boost to know others have faced

this too, and that it was ok for them to use the call display feature (yes

we have it)!. Also, you mentioned never to give advice. That's where he

sucks me into a no-win situation. He'll call, crying, and say " what am I

going to do " . Of course, I jump in with suggestions, only to have my head

bitten off. Maybe there will be something in the co-dependant book about

how to deal with that.

This group is holding me up these days, and I appreciate it more than I can

say. Thank you.

Joan

People joining this list must read the guidelines and agree to them before

posting. Send questions or concerns to WelcomeToOz-owner . " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " , a primer for non-BPs, and " Hope for Parents: Helping Your

Borderline Son or Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family Or Yourself " can be

ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For table of contents, go to

http://www.BPDCentral.com

[Guest guest]

How true, Donna. Pain certainly does wear a person down and affects many parts of a person's life.hugs))Sharon This email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. Re: Thank you

So glad you are feeling better. Pain can not only hurt, but it wears

a person down. I will continue to pray for you.

Donna (ms)

>

> Thank you all for all the prayer, love, blessings and good thoughts

sent my way. I am sure they helped more than the meds did. I am

much better now. I do know that I will not be up to par without more

rest and your continued support, but I am sure that if I am good that

the worst is over.

> Love to my family here.

> HAPPINESS AND BUTTERFLIES

> Lynn

>

> May you always find

> HAPPINESS and BUTTERFLIES

> Lynn

>

> Butterflies are angels bringing messages from God

>

Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Dear n, nne, Val and ...I appreciate your feedback to me.

I am now in touch with my cranial sacral therapist, who is also a PT. She is

seeing if she can put me in for Friday morning to see what, if anything, she

can help address. I read portions of the report to her, and she clarified some

things for me and understands as you each do, why I'm in pain. She asked if Dr.

Decker, Andy, as she calls him! suggested a Medrol pack or an epidural! Wow,

I was like, gee, I must be in bad shape! lol! My neuro is away for 2 wks now, but

I am going to bring a copy of this report to Annie, my PT, as well as the fellow

who did my Gamma Knife for my TN. He is a neurosurgeon, and of course is

pretty well versed in backs and back surgery, not that I'm a candidate for

that. But I'm sure he'd have some opinion on all this. n, what, if anything

do you take for your spinal arthritis? I've never know pain this bad; tis nearly

as bad as the TN, but in some ways worse, as this makes sitting, standing and

walking real difficult. I did go swimming again tonight, but had the 2 younger

kids so didn't get to do as many laps.

Time to practice singing and playing guitar and hope that I can last sitting

for practice time. Love to all, always, Kate

We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder

[Guest guest]

Kate, I have had about 6 epidurals and 3 Rhizotomy's on my back. I have a buldged disc in L-5 and herniated disc in L-4. The epidurals for the most part did not help at all but made things worse for me. My doctor says that I am not the "norm" and I must be more sensitive to pain because I was very thin at the time. There was a few times after the swelling went down that I had weeks of tolerable pain and on rare occasions no pain after the epidurals. The Rhizotomy's were to stop the nerve pain (burning the nerve that causes the most pain) and that helped to some degree but that wears off just like the epidural. Most cases both do not have to be repeated from 6 months to 2 1/2 years. That information was given to me by a pain specialist. There are people that never come back to get the procedure repeated too. My husband has arthritis in his back and it has caused him the kind of pain

that you are stating. He can't sit, stand, lay down without pain. He had 2 epidurals and it has helped him tremendously. He did not have the experiences that I had at all. He was worried about them because he seen what they did to me. Right after his procedure, he was not in pain at all and had been pain free for months. He said that he would do it again if necessary with no hesitation. So, people react to them differently. Your Dr. will be able to explain the options and also side effects to you. It's a good option if you are in extreme pain. I hope that if you get the epidural you are free from pain for a long time. Back pain has stopped me from being as active as I was in the past. I hate cars (driving and also being a passenger). I stopped driving for about 2 or more years (or very little). I am driving more now. I still can't be in one for long. It's better than it

used to be though. It sounds like you have some good doctors that will give you the information that you need in order to make a decision whether the epidurals are right for you and if you should get them at all. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find some relief from all that pain soon. Hugs, :)Kate Rothschild wrote: Dear n, nne, Val and ...I appreciate your feedback to me. I am now in touch with my cranial sacral therapist, who is also a PT. She is seeing if she can put me in for Friday morning to see what, if anything, she can help address. I read portions of the report to her, and she clarified some things for me and understands as you each do, why I'm in pain. She asked if Dr. Decker, Andy, as she calls him! suggested a Medrol pack or an epidural! Wow, I was like, gee, I must be in bad shape! lol! My neuro is away for 2 wks now, but I am going to bring a copy of this report to Annie, my

PT, as well as the fellow who did my Gamma Knife for my TN. He is a neurosurgeon, and of course is pretty well versed in backs and back surgery, not that I'm a candidate for that. But I'm sure he'd have some opinion on all this. n, what, if anything do you take for your spinal arthritis? I've never know pain this bad; tis nearly as bad as the TN, but in some ways worse, as this makes sitting, standing and walking real difficult. I did go swimming again tonight, but had the 2 younger kids so didn't get to do as many laps. Time to practice singing and playing guitar and hope that I can last

sitting for practice time. Love to all, always, Kate We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder Peace, Love and Hugs, D.

[Guest guest]

Re: thank you

Thanks ,

I had no idea this was as common as I seem to be reading from you, and online in general. I don't quite know how someone could function with this type of pain. It is awful. Nothing really touches it. The only thing I take is tizanidine/zanaflex, which I had begun taking as I thought for certain this was MS spasming in my back, but apparently it is all this degenerative, bulging and blah, blah. What a call to have to figure out. Hopefully you are correct, and I'll have some good docs to steer me in the right direction. I hope they can get me in, and soon! Love to you. How is your pain level on this now? Right now, I'm about a 7, earlier today, it was 9. Although I've taken more of the zanaflex than I was supposed to just a bit ago, so it is probably kicking in right now. I think it is bedtime now! Kate

Kate,

I have had about 6 epidurals and 3 Rhizotomy's on my back. I have a buldged disc in L-5 and herniated disc in L-4. The epidurals for the most part did not help at all but made things worse for me. My doctor says that I am not the "norm" and I must be more sensitive to pain because I was very thin at the time. There was a few times after the swelling went down that I had weeks of tolerable pain and on rare occasions no pain after the epidurals. The Rhizotomy's were to stop the nerve pain (burning the nerve that causes the most pain) and that helped to some degree but that wears off just like the epidural. Most cases both do not have to be repeated from 6 months to 2 1/2 years. That information was given to me by a pain specialist. There are people that never come back to get the procedure repeated too. My husband has arthritis in his back and it has caused him the kind of pain that you are stating. He can't sit, stand, lay down without pain. He had 2 epidurals and it has helped him tremendously. He did not have the experiences that I had at all. He was worried about them because he seen what they did to me. Right after his procedure, he was not in pain at all and had been pain free for months. He said that he would do it again if necessary with no hesitation. So, people react to them differently. Your Dr. will be able to explain the options and also side effects to you. It's a good option if you are in extreme pain. I hope that if you get the epidural you are free from pain for a long time. Back pain has stopped me from being as active as I was in the past. I hate cars (driving and also being a passenger). I stopped driving for about 2 or more years (or very little). I am driving more now. I still can't be in one for long. It's better than it used to be though.

It sounds like you have some good doctors that will give you the information that you need in order to make a decision whether the epidurals are right for you and if you should get them at all.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you find some relief from all that pain soon.

Hugs,

..

[Guest guest]

Kate, My back pain really became a problem about 5 years ago. Although it started with the birth of my first child almost 22 years ago. 3 months after he was born I was in the doctors almost every week. They thought is was from the spinal and did every test they could and I did not get an answer why I was in so much pain. After my second child (he is now 17) it became worse. It was a downhill battle from there on. I tried chiropractic and almost every specialist out there and still no one could tell me what was causing the pain. It wasn't until around 3 years ago that I found out what the problem was and began physical therapy which made it worse and the procedures I talked to you about. I had a great doctor but he moved and I am searching for another now. Anyhoo......I live with the pain level at least a 5 everyday. Some days it's so bad and I

would say many days the pain level is an 8. The pain meds takes the edge off so I can at least function a little bit but I do have days that I function really well. When I am stressed it's not good for me at all. I have more pain when stressed and also if I do too much. I am sure that is the way it is for most people though. I have lived with so much pain for so long that my tolerance is high. It's become part of my everyday life and you kind of get used to being in pain. I just try to do what I can and take everyday as it comes. One day at a time. I really can't plan anything because if it's not the back, it's the fatigue, migraines or just not feeling well. When I have good days I tend to overdo it which complicates the next day even more. I should know better after so many years but I ignore what I know to be the right thing to do because I

want to get everything done and then I pay for it the next day. Just listen to your body and if you're hurting too much, don't do a lot. If you are having a good day, take it easy and pace yourself. Don't try to do too much in one day because you're body will be telling you the next day and that's not good. I try to do some stretching now and again. Especially if you know you are going to be very active that day. A lot of rest is always really good too but I am sure you know that (wink). Does a heating pad every help for you? Sometimes it helps me. Just wondering. Hugs, Kate Rothschild wrote: Re: thank you Thanks , I had no idea this was as common as I seem to be reading from you, and online in general. I don't quite know how someone could function with this type of pain. It is awful. Nothing really touches it. The only thing I take is tizanidine/zanaflex, which I had begun taking as I thought for certain this was MS spasming in my back, but apparently it is all this degenerative, bulging and blah, blah. What a call to have to figure out. Hopefully you are correct, and I'll have some good docs to steer me in the right direction. I hope they can get me in, and soon! Love to you. How is your pain level on this now? Right now, I'm about a 7, earlier today, it was 9. Although I've taken more of the zanaflex than I was supposed to just a bit ago, so it is probably kicking in right now. I think it is bedtime now! Kate Kate, I have had about 6 epidurals and 3 Rhizotomy's on my back. I have a buldged disc in L-5 and herniated disc in L-4. The epidurals for the most part did not help at all but made things worse for me. My doctor says that I am not the "norm" and I must be more sensitive to pain because I was very thin at the time. There was a few times after the swelling went down that I had weeks of tolerable pain and on rare occasions no pain after the epidurals. The Rhizotomy's were to stop the nerve pain (burning the nerve that causes the most pain) and that helped to some degree but that wears off just like the epidural. Most cases both do not have to be repeated from 6 months to 2 1/2 years. That information was given to me by a pain specialist. There are people that never come back to get the procedure

repeated too. My husband has arthritis in his back and it has caused him the kind of pain that you are stating. He can't sit, stand, lay down without pain. He had 2 epidurals and it has helped him tremendously. He did not have the experiences that I had at all. He was worried about them because he seen what they did to me. Right after his procedure, he was not in pain at all and had been pain free for months. He said that he would do it again if necessary with no hesitation. So, people react to them differently. Your Dr. will be able to explain the options and also side effects to you. It's a good option if you are in extreme pain. I hope that if you get the epidural you are free from pain for a long time. Back pain has stopped me from being as active as I was in the past. I hate cars (driving and also being a passenger). I stopped driving for about 2 or more years (or very

little). I am driving more now. I still can't be in one for long. It's better than it used to be though. It sounds like you have some good doctors that will give you the information that you need in order to make a decision whether the epidurals are right for you and if you should get them at all. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find some relief from all that pain soon. Hugs, . Peace, Love and Hugs, D.