Abuse

[Guest guest]

You all know this isn't specific to CHARGE children. Abuse is happening all

the time against the weak and the mild. It even happens to the strong. They

also happen across all circumstances. I worked with a woman, a SPED teacher,

whose behavioral intervention for a child who would stim and would bite her

fingers was to hold the child's hands together and squeeze hard. I mean hard.

She would also crush the child's hands on a table because the stimming upset

her. When we reported it the system they sent this person to training for

physical management techniques! You know what she did when she came back, she

would pinch the child's finger tips because " that wouldn't leave marks! "

Needless

to say she is gone. But it took tons to get her out.

Think that's bad?! There was a parent who couldn't control her child's

" behaviors. " She wouldn't' work with the school system to make sure the child

had

consistent expectations. She would let the child eat anything, sleep at

whatever time the child wanted to, any where the child wanted to ... there were

no

boundaries for this poor child. It ended up that the parent would lock the

child in a closet. Or because this child had auditory sensitivities, when he

was " naughty " she would turn the TV on loud with white noise until the child

stopped screaming. Sad but true.

Think that's bad, there was a child whose parent wouldn't medicate her,

refused all medical interventions-including shots and wearing braces on her

legs.

She refused all educational evaluations and suggestions. She was afraid of her

child and would keep her in her bedroom, all day, every day with very little

interaction. Then she would complain her child was out of control. Her child

no longer lives with her.

Want me to tell you about the child with burn marks in his armpits and on the

bottom of his feet?

Or the child whose mother would spend her money on drugs and tattoos instead

of food for her children?

And this happened in nice quiet happy little towns.

Yes, there is abuse in group homes, but there is abuse everywhere. And I

only spoke of the physical abuse. I think the verbal and emotional abuse

children go through can leave even bigger scars.

We all just need to continue to be active parents to protect ALL people.

BUT!!! There are some very wonderful people and places out there. The bad

coats over all the good. There are educators out there who devote their lives

to each and every child. There are wonderful parents out there. There are

great services and people. We can't stay afraid of what might happen to our

children or that would be limiting them just as much.

I can be involved though. I also have to continually let her grow and move

further on without me. But like I always tell Patty, I have her back. I'll

protect her forever.

It isn't all bad. There's ton and tons of good.

Bonnie, Mom to a 22, Patty CHARGE 20, and wife to