Guest guest Posted May 8, 2005 Report Share Posted May 8, 2005 I forgot to mention she is 18. Hold is your daughter? Does she go to work or school? Mine doesnt do anything, your message could have been written by me! Sophie Balcoff wrote:It's hard to know if they can't get to sleep because they slept all day, or if they slept aall day because they couldn't get to sleep at night. Mydaughter also has terrible sleep habits and has for years. Now that she is not doing much, nothing stops her from getting up at two. Needless to say, it makes living a " real life " rather difficult. Sophie --- openjoyful wrote: > - > > My daughter also has terrible insomnia. She > literally cannot sleep > at all without medication. For a while she was on > ambien, but that > is addicting, so her doctor has her taking her other > meds at night. > Two of those meds have a side effect of making her > sleepy. She says > that if she doesn't take them, she is up all night. > > I agree with you that they have many psychosomatic > illnesses. She > has had terrible migraines in the past, usually > related to not > wanting to go to school (caused by anxiety). She > never had the > headaches on the weekends. But I'm sure they felt > very real to her. > > One interesting thing I read on a website somewhere > is that when > children cannot cope with something, they fall > asleep. She would > sleep long hours after getting migraines. Actually, > she was sleeping > many hours each day (sometimes 12-14 hours) until > fairly recently. I > thought it was due to her meds but I think it also > might be anxiety, > depression or not wanting to be awake to cope with > life. > > Carolyn > > > > > Dear Sophie, > > > > > > I am amazed to hear so many of you talking about > how > > > your daughter was sick all the time, especially > in > > > Middle and HS. My daughter was too...and still > is > > > and she is 24. I know she has lots of allergies > and > > > asthma plus she was diagnosed with chronic > Epstein > > > Barr (chronic fatigue syndrome) so I am never > sure > > > if it is for real or not. Seems like a pattern. > > > > Maybe they don't feel good??? My daughter also > > > cried all the time as a baby...sometimes for > hours > > > and never slept through the night until she was > > > around 3 years old. She still doesn't sleep > well. > > > Maybe there's something to this? > > > lks > > > Re: Re: > intimadation > > > > > > > > > Dear Jamal, > > > > > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. > She > > > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > > > sense " > > > (like when my husband was in the hospital > after a > > > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > > > hardly > > > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there > she > > > cried > > > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on > my > > > lap > > > the whole time. And, like yours, she was > always at > > > the > > > nurse (especially in junior high and high > school), > > > or > > > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > > > because > > > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have > stomach > > > aches > > > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing > of > > > any > > > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > > > began > > > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > > > > > Sophie > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2005 Report Share Posted May 8, 2005 How awful -- is that what is bound to happen if you are bp? I wonder if all the little attempts to help them/make them be a bit more " normal " are just doomed Sophie --- dotf33 wrote: > Thank you, Carolyn! > > My daughter has hung out with druggies, too, and I'm > afraid she is > at the present time. She's only been out on her own > for six or > seven months now, but I know that during that time, > she has had as > many jobs as there are months. > > What has me presently worried is that we invited her > and her > boyfriend (who lives with her) to dinner last night, > and we tried to > make it special. > > She showed up . . . 45 minutes late (after having > called like 3 > times that day to make sure the time when we were > eating), and no > boyfriend. > > Her sibling noticed a healing cigarette burn on the > top of her left > wrist and asked about it. When my daughter lifted > her wrist, I > could see tiny white scars on the inside of her > forearm, and another > healing burn mark. > > She shrugged past her siblings question, but I now > knew she was self- > mutilating. It made me very sad. > > Also, she's been out of work for a couple weeks now, > and is lying > about her current job (which is non-existent becasue > we checked); > she was getting her nails done (French tips), hair > cut, massage, and > making plans to go on a ten day vacation to the > beach. > > The only place I can figure this money is coming > from would be some > sort of involvement in drugs. > > There are other indications in her past that she has > dabbled with > drugs, but the apt. complex she lives in has a lot > of people who do > and deal; when she first moved there she told me > that by the end of > her first day there, she knew who dealt and what. > > I was astounded, because that was not something I > would know about a > place I moved in to!! > > Well, thanks for letting me vent. > > Dot > > > > > > > I agree about the labels and confusion. (I > guess things are > only > > > black and white if your BPD). My daughter too > was raped at 15! > > > It's as though all of these things come > together...not just one > > > symptom or illness. She is diagnosed ADD but > not the hyper > part. > > > It's as though her circadian rhythm is off. I > think her > illnesses > > > are part physical and part mental which is very > difficult to > tell > > > apart. I don't think one can fake a fever and > presence of a > > virus > > > in their blood. Everytime she tries to do > something === message truncated === __________________________________ Yahoo! Mail Mobile Take Yahoo! Mail with you! Check email on your mobile phone. http://mobile.yahoo.com/learn/mail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2005 Report Share Posted May 10, 2005 Hi Dot, There are the stomach ache complaints, but I mean she is really sick with fevers and sore throats, etc. I am so tired of it all. She has so many different diagnosis, that I don't know which is which....asthma/allergies, many food allergies too, chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowl syndrome, eating disorder, depression, traumatic stress syndrome (after the rape) and umpteen cases of strep throat. I know she is as tired of being sick all the time as I am tired of paying doctor bills. lks Re: Re: intimadation > > > > > > Dear Jamal, > > > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. She > > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > > sense " > > (like when my husband was in the hospital after a > > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > > hardly > > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there she > > cried > > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on my > > lap > > the whole time. And, like yours, she was always at > > the > > nurse (especially in junior high and high school), > > or > > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > > because > > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have stomach > > aches > > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing of > > any > > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > > began > > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > > > Sophie > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > People joining this list must read the guidelines > > and agree to them before posting. Send questions or > > concerns to WelcomeToOz-owner " Stop > > Walking on Eggshells " , a primer for non-BPs, and > > " Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or > > Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family Or > > Yourself " can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL > > (). For table of contents, go to > > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2005 Report Share Posted May 10, 2005 My daughter is just ADD, but has terrible time sleeping at night. She takes Welbutrin and Aderal, but she couldn't sleep long before that...started on day one! I also blame a lot on her being premature. She was in an ICU for the first 2 weeks and the lights on constantly. The research says that the first days of life are very important in establishing bonding and sleep patterns. Anybody else's BP daughter a preemie? lks Re: Re: > > intimadation > > > > > > > > > Dear Jamal, > > > > > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. > > She > > > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > > > sense " > > > (like when my husband was in the hospital > > after a > > > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > > > hardly > > > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there > > she > > > cried > > > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on > > my > > > lap > > > the whole time. And, like yours, she was > > always at > > > the > > > nurse (especially in junior high and high > > school), > > > or > > > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > > > because > > > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have > > stomach > > > aches > > > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing > > of > > > any > > > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > > > began > > > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > > > > > Sophie > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2005 Report Share Posted May 10, 2005 Yes, I know about Post traumatic stress syndrome as her dad had that as well. It's a lot like BPD. We didn't know about the rape until she went into therapy after a suicide attempt when she was 15. There were other things going on as well at the time, so it is hard to differentiate the causes of her behavior. lks Re: Re: > intimadation > > > > > > Dear Jamal, > > > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. > She > > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > > sense " > > (like when my husband was in the hospital > after a > > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > > hardly > > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there > she > > cried > > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on > my > > lap > > the whole time. And, like yours, she was > always at > > the > > nurse (especially in junior high and high > school), > > or > > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > > because > > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have > stomach > > aches > > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing > of > > any > > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > > began > > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > > > Sophie > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2005 Report Share Posted May 10, 2005 My daughter has never slept well all her life!!! yes, she is awake at 2 AM and tired the next day...but I really don't think it is by choice. She was 3 before she ever slept through the night. I had tried everything...including letting her cry until she threw up after 3 hours. I think it is something inborn. Maybe that is why they feel so afraid of abandonment? No, my daughter doesn't work right now, although she is looking for a job and worked during the winter at a ski resort (part time). With so many similarities don't you think that all of this has something to do with biology not just " behavior? " No wonder these kids feel so angry. Perhaps they are too tired and emotionally drained to be able to go to work or school. lks Re: Re: > intimadation > > > > > > > > > Dear Jamal, > > > > > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. > She > > > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > > > sense " > > > (like when my husband was in the hospital > after a > > > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > > > hardly > > > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there > she > > > cried > > > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on > my > > > lap > > > the whole time. And, like yours, she was > always at > > > the > > > nurse (especially in junior high and high > school), > > > or > > > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > > > because > > > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have > stomach > > > aches > > > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing > of > > > any > > > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > > > began > > > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > > > > > Sophie > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2005 Report Share Posted May 11, 2005 it is hard to know how much control a person like that has over their actions but they must have SOME. the problem is to know how much control, how much slack to cut them. Sophie --- smith-lorraine@... wrote: > My daughter has never slept well all her life!!! > yes, she is awake at 2 AM and tired the next > day...but I really don't think it is by choice. She > was 3 before she ever slept through the night. I > had tried everything...including letting her cry > until she threw up after 3 hours. I think it is > something inborn. Maybe that is why they feel so > afraid of abandonment? No, my daughter doesn't work > right now, although she is looking for a job and > worked during the winter at a ski resort (part > time). With so many similarities don't you think > that all of this has something to do with biology > not just " behavior? " No wonder these kids feel so > angry. Perhaps they are too tired and emotionally > drained to be able to go to work or school. > lks > Re: Re: > > intimadation > > > > > > > > > > > > Dear Jamal, > > > > > > > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy > too. > > She > > > > felt neglected at times when it didn't > " make > > > > sense " > > > > (like when my husband was in the hospital > > after a > > > > serious car accident). As a baby, she > would > > > > hardly > > > > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not > there > > she > > > > cried > > > > continuously. At birthday parties she sat > on > > my > > > > lap > > > > the whole time. And, like yours, she was > > always at > > > > the > > > > nurse (especially in junior high and high > > school), > > > > or > > > > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to > school > > > > because > > > > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have > > stomach > > > > aches > > > > but of course psychosomatic. I thought > nothing > > of > > > > any > > > > of this til she hit about fourteen or so > and I > > > > began > > > > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > > > > > > > Sophie > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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