Guest guest Posted May 2, 2005 Report Share Posted May 2, 2005 La Nell I think my daughter knows she can no longer intimidate me. I think that is why she has moved on to bigger and better things like not letting me see the boys. I guess you could look at this as a form of intimidation also, but I'm not sure. I mean she doesn't SEE my reaction to my not being able to see them. She can only imagine. I wonder if that is GOOD ENOUGH for her to get a sick thrill from. I wonder if imaging that she has hurt me is payoff enough for her. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2005 Report Share Posted May 2, 2005 La Nell Does your therapist say why your daughter likes to intimidate you? What do they get out of intimidating people? Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2005 Report Share Posted May 3, 2005 La Nell But WHY does she want you hooked and powerless? What does thaat do for her? And does she also have a fluid personality, where she becomes and acts just like the people she's with? Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2005 Report Share Posted May 3, 2005 You are probably right, she is wallowing in self pride that she has taken away what means most to you, without thinking about the emotional and psychological damage she is doing to the boys. But then again, I'm wondering if she thinks that doing this to you might make you do something crazy. I'm sure she is counting on it. OR, she could be going absolutely bonkers wondering why you HAVEN'T!! You could get a good chuckle knowing that! Hugs, Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2005 Report Share Posted May 3, 2005 Debbie Regarding 's reason for taking the boys away from me, perhaps she just doesn't give a dam- qbout anything to do with me. Perhaps she has put me in that Black hole and has put me completely out of her mind. What do you think? Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2005 Report Share Posted May 3, 2005 Deb I cannot move from my office. A former client called me last week to list their house as they are moving out os state and if I didn't take the listing , I stood a chance of losing it to another agency. So, if I leave I will be leaving all my listings and that would be biting MY nose off to spite my face. Let HER move. She doesn't do anythig, anyway with the business. I guess dirtbag will support her or maybe she'll sell drugs. She had always mentioned that dealers make a lot of money. God knows, I wouldn't put anything past her. I will feel better about me if I can just go about my business like she doesn't exist. Then I will know I am truely healed of this obsession. I am taking one day at a time. This group with all you wonderful people is so theraputic. With my being able to throw ideas out there and questions and having such great support from everyone has made this much easier to deal with. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2005 Report Share Posted May 3, 2005 Debbie Remember when AOL advised me that someone was using my password to get on to AOL and some of my posts from this group were disappearing? If she remembered the Web address for this group, she has probably gotten quite an eye opener and she knows everything I am thinking. Don't know whether that would be good or bad for either of us. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2005 Report Share Posted May 3, 2005 I wouldn't worry, if she has access to a computer, she could go online at anytime under a friends name and read all this. Who cares? Does she care? I doubt it very much. I doubt she even remembers there is this forum, let alone absorb any of it. I think if she did, you would be the first to know, with her ranting about how you are talking about her to total strangers! I've gotten ridden for that before, talking to mom's of friends' of hers, just to give them an idea of what was making her tick. She couldn't believe I was talking to other moms about her. I felt bad for all the nice boys.... and I mean there are a lot of them, treating her like a queen then getting dumped, usually for some stupid reason or no reason at all. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2005 Report Share Posted May 3, 2005 Great analysis, I think you hit the head on the nail. And like so many of us say, when she sees that it is not " affecting " you she will resurface. Then its more up to you to decide your next step. You can do it!!! --- funnygirl1154@... wrote: > > I really don't think she has put you out of her > mind. Her keeping the > boys from you is your punishment, to her, for > letting dirtbag get arrested. > You " took away " what she loves, so she will do the > same to you. It's all > about her........she is not thinking what it is > doing to the boys. Just the > self gratification she is getting from all of this, > the control thing. She is > miserable without him, so you will be miserable > without them. Just my > opinion. Have you dropped any hints about moving > your office? to anyone that may > associate with her? Maybe she will get wind of > this and see you are " moving > on " without letting her know. I'm sure she thinks > that your are sitting > around wallowing in pity about the boys, and that > maybe sooner or later she will > hear from you. Let her hang........... seeing that > you are doing things > without any mention to her will really steam her > engines! > Hugs, > Debbie > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2005 Report Share Posted May 4, 2005 I do continue to feel some guilt about my parenting although I think I did the best I could. I don't know how your children were when they were little, my daughter cried all the time when she was a baby. When she was little she climbed all over me and even a little older continually asked me if I loved her. I know I showed her love but she was questioning it way back then. When she got became middle school aged it was no longer do you love me, it was why don't you love me. It was constant, I always chalked it up to jealousy for her brother being born. It was excessive questioning of my love. and it was never enough. Did any of you experience this. I look back now and see the pattern that developed. She was a good student, never caused trouble but showed an enormous amount of anxiety and insecurity. I was continually going to the school nurses to pick her up because she was " sick " . She used to run and hide in the bathroom because her teacher wouldnt tell her how to spell a word and she would have to use " inventive spelling " ( a whole language method). So I do believe that she was born with this predispostion that was hard to manage. Being uneducated with emotional development, I tried my best to deal with it. I'm paying for it now. Did anyone else have similar experiences? --- openjoyful wrote: > Debbie, > > I agree with , you seem very insightful about > how bp's think. > And I also agree - I think you posted earlier - that > although there > might be an element of parenting, they were born > with this brain > disorder. I think it's basically biological. After > all, you do see > it running in families. > > One important thing would be that we don't feel > guilty about our > parenting! Whether it was too compliant with them or > too harsh, we > all did our best (I don't think there are any > sadists on this > board), so we should never stress or blame > ourselves. What else are > parents to do when their kid is acting this crazy? > I'm willing to > bet that between all the members here, millions of > dollars were > spent to analyze, medically treat, school, protect > and house our > kids. That is love, and that is caring. We do our > best, and let them > go. Hopefully enough good things will stick with > them to see them > through. > > Carolyn > > > > > > > > > I really don't think she has put you out of > her > > > mind. Her keeping the > > > boys from you is your punishment, to her, for > > > letting dirtbag get arrested. > > > You " took away " what she loves, so she will do > the > > > same to you. It's all > > > about her........she is not thinking what it is > > > doing to the boys. Just the > > > self gratification she is getting from all of > this, > > > the control thing. She is > > > miserable without him, so you will be miserable > > > without them. Just my > > > opinion. Have you dropped any hints about > moving > > > your office? to anyone that may > > > associate with her? Maybe she will get wind > of > > > this and see you are " moving > > > on " without letting her know. I'm sure she > thinks > > > that your are sitting > > > around wallowing in pity about the boys, and > that > > > maybe sooner or later she will > > > hear from you. Let her hang........... seeing > that > > > you are doing things > > > without any mention to her will really steam her > > > engines! > > > Hugs, > > > Debbie > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2005 Report Share Posted May 5, 2005 Dear Jamal, My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. She felt neglected at times when it didn't " make sense " (like when my husband was in the hospital after a serious car accident). As a baby, she would hardly tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there she cried continuously. At birthday parties she sat on my lap the whole time. And, like yours, she was always at the nurse (especially in junior high and high school), or had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school because she was sick, and I'm sure she did have stomach aches but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing of any of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I began to hear about her threatening suicide. Sophie --- Jamal Jilao wrote: > I do continue to feel some guilt about my parenting > although I think I did the best I could. I don't > know > how your children were when they were little, my > daughter cried all the time when she was a baby. > When > she was little she climbed all over me and even a > little older continually asked me if I loved her. I > know I showed her love but she was questioning it > way > back then. When she got became middle school aged > it > was no longer do you love me, it was why don't you > love me. It was constant, I always chalked it up to > jealousy for her brother being born. It was > excessive > questioning of my love. and it was never enough. > Did > any of you experience this. I look back now and see > the pattern that developed. > > She was a good student, never caused trouble but > showed an enormous amount of anxiety and insecurity. > > I was continually going to the school nurses to pick > her up because she was " sick " . She used to run and > hide in the bathroom because her teacher wouldnt > tell > her how to spell a word and she would have to use > " inventive spelling " ( a whole language method). > > So I do believe that she was born with this > predispostion that was hard to manage. Being > uneducated with emotional development, I tried my > best > to deal with it. I'm paying for it now. > > Did anyone else have similar experiences? > --- openjoyful wrote: > > Debbie, > > > > I agree with , you seem very insightful > about > > how bp's think. > > And I also agree - I think you posted earlier - > that > > although there > > might be an element of parenting, they were born > > with this brain > > disorder. I think it's basically biological. After > > all, you do see > > it running in families. > > > > One important thing would be that we don't feel > > guilty about our > > parenting! Whether it was too compliant with them > or > > too harsh, we > > all did our best (I don't think there are any > > sadists on this > > board), so we should never stress or blame > > ourselves. What else are > > parents to do when their kid is acting this crazy? > > I'm willing to > > bet that between all the members here, millions of > > dollars were > > spent to analyze, medically treat, school, protect > > and house our > > kids. That is love, and that is caring. We do our > > best, and let them > > go. Hopefully enough good things will stick with > > them to see them > > through. > > > > Carolyn > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I really don't think she has put you out > of > > her > > > > mind. Her keeping the > > > > boys from you is your punishment, to her, for > > > > letting dirtbag get arrested. > > > > You " took away " what she loves, so she will > do > > the > > > > same to you. It's all > > > > about her........she is not thinking what it > is > > > > doing to the boys. Just the > > > > self gratification she is getting from all of > > this, > > > > the control thing. She is > > > > miserable without him, so you will be > miserable > > > > without them. Just my > > > > opinion. Have you dropped any hints about > > moving > > > > your office? to anyone that may > > > > associate with her? Maybe she will get wind > > of > > > > this and see you are " moving > > > > on " without letting her know. I'm sure she > > thinks > > > > that your are sitting > > > > around wallowing in pity about the boys, and > > that > > > > maybe sooner or later she will > > > > hear from you. Let her hang........... seeing > > that > > > > you are doing things > > > > without any mention to her will really steam > her > > > > engines! > > > > Hugs, > > > > Debbie > > > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2005 Report Share Posted May 5, 2005 Dear Sophie, I am amazed to hear so many of you talking about how your daughter was sick all the time, especially in Middle and HS. My daughter was too...and still is and she is 24. I know she has lots of allergies and asthma plus she was diagnosed with chronic Epstein Barr (chronic fatigue syndrome) so I am never sure if it is for real or not. Seems like a pattern. Maybe they don't feel good??? My daughter also cried all the time as a baby...sometimes for hours and never slept through the night until she was around 3 years old. She still doesn't sleep well. Maybe there's something to this? lks Re: Re: intimadation Dear Jamal, My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. She felt neglected at times when it didn't " make sense " (like when my husband was in the hospital after a serious car accident). As a baby, she would hardly tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there she cried continuously. At birthday parties she sat on my lap the whole time. And, like yours, she was always at the nurse (especially in junior high and high school), or had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school because she was sick, and I'm sure she did have stomach aches but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing of any of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I began to hear about her threatening suicide. Sophie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2005 Report Share Posted May 5, 2005 Dear -Lorraine, I'm sure the physical and mental are connected. Especially stomach problems, nausea, fatigue can be connected to anxiety and depression. But my daughter wasn't sick all the time, only when she was upset by something; maybe she herself did not recognize what was making her feel bad, so it became a physical thing. Sleep disturbances are common to depression, though of course you can have sleep disturbance without depression... Sophie smith-lorraine@... wrote: Dear Sophie, I am amazed to hear so many of you talking about how your daughter was sick all the time, especially in Middle and HS. My daughter was too...and still is and she is 24. I know she has lots of allergies and asthma plus she was diagnosed with chronic Epstein Barr (chronic fatigue syndrome) so I am never sure if it is for real or not. Seems like a pattern. Maybe they don't feel good??? My daughter also cried all the time as a baby...sometimes for hours and never slept through the night until she was around 3 years old. She still doesn't sleep well. Maybe there's something to this? lks Re: Re: intimadation Dear Jamal, My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. She felt neglected at times when it didn't " make sense " (like when my husband was in the hospital after a serious car accident). As a baby, she would hardly tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there she cried continuously. At birthday parties she sat on my lap the whole time. And, like yours, she was always at the nurse (especially in junior high and high school), or had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school because she was sick, and I'm sure she did have stomach aches but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing of any of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I began to hear about her threatening suicide. Sophie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2005 Report Share Posted May 5, 2005 My daughter has terrible sleep patterns, it affects her whole life and has for a long time. I think her " illness " were anxiety and psychosomatic. We have had long talks about this and has improved. Although she now fixates on her teeth!!! I feel that it is easier for her to focus on her ailments and teeth (their imperfections that only she sees, I think they are beautiful!) instead of the issues on hand (like working) She has alot of anxiety. --- smith-lorraine@... wrote: > Dear Sophie, > > I am amazed to hear so many of you talking about how > your daughter was sick all the time, especially in > Middle and HS. My daughter was too...and still is > and she is 24. I know she has lots of allergies and > asthma plus she was diagnosed with chronic Epstein > Barr (chronic fatigue syndrome) so I am never sure > if it is for real or not. Seems like a pattern. > Maybe they don't feel good??? My daughter also > cried all the time as a baby...sometimes for hours > and never slept through the night until she was > around 3 years old. She still doesn't sleep well. > Maybe there's something to this? > lks > Re: Re: intimadation > > > Dear Jamal, > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. She > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > sense " > (like when my husband was in the hospital after a > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > hardly > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there she > cried > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on my > lap > the whole time. And, like yours, she was always at > the > nurse (especially in junior high and high school), > or > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > because > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have stomach > aches > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing of > any > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > began > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > Sophie > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2005 Report Share Posted May 5, 2005 Yes, 's stomach aches etc were when she was upset or didn't want to face something, unfortunately she was often upset about something- we chalked it off to being overly sensitive. The sleep has been since she was little, I gave up trying to put her to bed, the rule was she had to stay in her room. It took hours for her to fall asleep and it's still that way. It's ADHD. My concern is that she has soo many labels, ADHD (not actually diagnosed until she was 15 although I knew it and worked closely with her teachers before that), Bi-Polar, and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (she was raped when she was 15). The question is what is what and do we add Bp to it or is her behavior an impact of the above labels. It's all so confusing. --- Sophie Balcoff wrote: > Dear -Lorraine, > > I'm sure the physical and mental are connected. > Especially stomach problems, nausea, fatigue can be > connected to anxiety and depression. But my daughter > wasn't sick all the time, only when she was upset by > something; maybe she herself did not recognize what > was making her feel bad, so it became a physical > thing. > > Sleep disturbances are common to depression, though > of course you can have sleep disturbance without > depression... > > Sophie > > smith-lorraine@... wrote: > Dear Sophie, > > I am amazed to hear so many of you talking about how > your daughter was sick all the time, especially in > Middle and HS. My daughter was too...and still is > and she is 24. I know she has lots of allergies and > asthma plus she was diagnosed with chronic Epstein > Barr (chronic fatigue syndrome) so I am never sure > if it is for real or not. Seems like a pattern. > Maybe they don't feel good??? My daughter also > cried all the time as a baby...sometimes for hours > and never slept through the night until she was > around 3 years old. She still doesn't sleep well. > Maybe there's something to this? > lks > Re: Re: intimadation > > > Dear Jamal, > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. She > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > sense " > (like when my husband was in the hospital after a > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > hardly > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there she > cried > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on my > lap > the whole time. And, like yours, she was always at > the > nurse (especially in junior high and high school), > or > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > because > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have stomach > aches > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing of > any > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > began > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > Sophie > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > > > People joining this list must read the guidelines > and agree to them before posting. Send questions or > concerns to WelcomeToOz-owner . " Stop > Walking on Eggshells " , a primer for non-BPs, and > " Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or > Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family Or > Yourself " can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL > (). For table of contents, go to > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2005 Report Share Posted May 6, 2005 So you think it is the anxiety that keeps them awake? lks Re: Re: intimadation > > > Dear Jamal, > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. She > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > sense " > (like when my husband was in the hospital after a > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > hardly > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there she > cried > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on my > lap > the whole time. And, like yours, she was always at > the > nurse (especially in junior high and high school), > or > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > because > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have stomach > aches > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing of > any > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > began > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > Sophie > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2005 Report Share Posted May 6, 2005 I agree about the labels and confusion. (I guess things are only black and white if your BPD). My daughter too was raped at 15! It's as though all of these things come together...not just one symptom or illness. She is diagnosed ADD but not the hyper part. It's as though her circadian rhythm is off. I think her illnesses are part physical and part mental which is very difficult to tell apart. I don't think one can fake a fever and presence of a virus in their blood. Everytime she tries to do something full time, like work or school, she ends up sick in bed with a fever and swollen lymph nodes, etc. But then she also has an eating disorder so I think she doesn't eat properly....the cycle just keeps going around. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? lks Re: Re: intimadation > > > Dear Jamal, > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. She > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > sense " > (like when my husband was in the hospital after a > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > hardly > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there she > cried > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on my > lap > the whole time. And, like yours, she was always at > the > nurse (especially in junior high and high school), > or > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > because > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have stomach > aches > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing of > any > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > began > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > Sophie > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > > > People joining this list must read the guidelines > and agree to them before posting. Send questions or > concerns to WelcomeToOz-owner . " Stop > Walking on Eggshells " , a primer for non-BPs, and > " Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or > Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family Or > Yourself " can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL > (). For table of contents, go to > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2005 Report Share Posted May 6, 2005 I know for my daughter it has alot to do with it but even moreso I think it is her ADHD. My dad is the same way, he struggles getting to sleep. But then again he is also a worrier (anxiety) and that mixes with it. That's what I mean, there is so much, I don't have an answer. He psychiatrist did not respond to the concern we both had over her sleep patterns (she just started going to him), of course now she is 18 I'm out of the picture medically which is frustrating because she doesn't take responsibility. --- smith-lorraine@... wrote: > So you think it is the anxiety that keeps them > awake? > lks > Re: Re: > intimadation > > > > > > Dear Jamal, > > > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. > She > > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > > sense " > > (like when my husband was in the hospital > after a > > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > > hardly > > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there > she > > cried > > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on > my > > lap > > the whole time. And, like yours, she was > always at > > the > > nurse (especially in junior high and high > school), > > or > > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > > because > > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have > stomach > > aches > > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing > of > > any > > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > > began > > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > > > Sophie > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2005 Report Share Posted May 6, 2005 I can't believe the similarities our daughters have!! you might want to read about Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, after rape that has a huge impact and one of the characteristics is rage. Interesting.... Did your daughter receive counseling after her experience? My daughter is unwilling to go to that place, still three years later despite her previous therapists and my attempts. I think it has alot to do with her raging, anxiety etc. She still has flashbacks. Did you ever read the book " Lucky " It is excellent, it's the author's experience with being raped. It helped my understand the process. --- smith-lorraine@... wrote: > So you think it is the anxiety that keeps them > awake? > lks > Re: Re: > intimadation > > > > > > Dear Jamal, > > > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. > She > > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > > sense " > > (like when my husband was in the hospital > after a > > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > > hardly > > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there > she > > cried > > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on > my > > lap > > the whole time. And, like yours, she was > always at > > the > > nurse (especially in junior high and high > school), > > or > > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > > because > > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have > stomach > > aches > > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing > of > > any > > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > > began > > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > > > Sophie > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2005 Report Share Posted May 6, 2005 Was that you that IM'd me? Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2005 Report Share Posted May 7, 2005 How old is she now? Does she have to take a lot of meds? Sophie --- Jamal Jilao wrote: > Yes, 's stomach aches etc were when she was > upset > or didn't want to face something, unfortunately she > was often upset about something- we chalked it off > to > being overly sensitive. The sleep has been since > she > was little, I gave up trying to put her to bed, the > rule was she had to stay in her room. It took hours > for her to fall asleep and it's still that way. > It's > ADHD. My concern is that she has soo many labels, > ADHD (not actually diagnosed until she was 15 > although > I knew it and worked closely with her teachers > before > that), Bi-Polar, and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome > (she was raped when she was 15). The question is > what > is what and do we add Bp to it or is her behavior an > impact of the above labels. It's all so confusing. > > --- Sophie Balcoff wrote: > > Dear -Lorraine, > > > > I'm sure the physical and mental are connected. > > Especially stomach problems, nausea, fatigue can > be > > connected to anxiety and depression. But my > daughter > > wasn't sick all the time, only when she was upset > by > > something; maybe she herself did not recognize > what > > was making her feel bad, so it became a physical > > thing. > > > > Sleep disturbances are common to depression, > though > > of course you can have sleep disturbance without > > depression... > > > > Sophie > > > > smith-lorraine@... wrote: > > Dear Sophie, > > > > I am amazed to hear so many of you talking about > how > > your daughter was sick all the time, especially in > > Middle and HS. My daughter was too...and still is > > and she is 24. I know she has lots of allergies > and > > asthma plus she was diagnosed with chronic Epstein > > Barr (chronic fatigue syndrome) so I am never sure > > if it is for real or not. Seems like a pattern. > > Maybe they don't feel good??? My daughter also > > cried all the time as a baby...sometimes for hours > > and never slept through the night until she was > > around 3 years old. She still doesn't sleep well. > > > Maybe there's something to this? > > lks > > Re: Re: intimadation > > > > > > Dear Jamal, > > > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. > She > > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > > sense " > > (like when my husband was in the hospital after > a > > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > > hardly > > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there she > > cried > > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on my > > lap > > the whole time. And, like yours, she was always > at > > the > > nurse (especially in junior high and high > school), > > or > > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > > because > > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have stomach > > aches > > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing > of > > any > > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > > began > > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > > > Sophie > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > People joining this list must read the guidelines > > and agree to them before posting. Send questions > or > > concerns to WelcomeToOz-owner . > " Stop > > Walking on Eggshells " , a primer for non-BPs, and > > " Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or > > Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family Or > > Yourself " can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL > > (). For table of contents, go to > > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2005 Report Share Posted May 7, 2005 It's hard to know if they can't get to sleep because they slept all day, or if they slept aall day because they couldn't get to sleep at night. Mydaughter also has terrible sleep habits and has for years. Now that she is not doing much, nothing stops her from getting up at two. Needless to say, it makes living a " real life " rather difficult. Sophie --- openjoyful wrote: > - > > My daughter also has terrible insomnia. She > literally cannot sleep > at all without medication. For a while she was on > ambien, but that > is addicting, so her doctor has her taking her other > meds at night. > Two of those meds have a side effect of making her > sleepy. She says > that if she doesn't take them, she is up all night. > > I agree with you that they have many psychosomatic > illnesses. She > has had terrible migraines in the past, usually > related to not > wanting to go to school (caused by anxiety). She > never had the > headaches on the weekends. But I'm sure they felt > very real to her. > > One interesting thing I read on a website somewhere > is that when > children cannot cope with something, they fall > asleep. She would > sleep long hours after getting migraines. Actually, > she was sleeping > many hours each day (sometimes 12-14 hours) until > fairly recently. I > thought it was due to her meds but I think it also > might be anxiety, > depression or not wanting to be awake to cope with > life. > > Carolyn > > > > > Dear Sophie, > > > > > > I am amazed to hear so many of you talking about > how > > > your daughter was sick all the time, especially > in > > > Middle and HS. My daughter was too...and still > is > > > and she is 24. I know she has lots of allergies > and > > > asthma plus she was diagnosed with chronic > Epstein > > > Barr (chronic fatigue syndrome) so I am never > sure > > > if it is for real or not. Seems like a pattern. > > > > Maybe they don't feel good??? My daughter also > > > cried all the time as a baby...sometimes for > hours > > > and never slept through the night until she was > > > around 3 years old. She still doesn't sleep > well. > > > Maybe there's something to this? > > > lks > > > Re: Re: > intimadation > > > > > > > > > Dear Jamal, > > > > > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. > She > > > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > > > sense " > > > (like when my husband was in the hospital > after a > > > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > > > hardly > > > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there > she > > > cried > > > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on > my > > > lap > > > the whole time. And, like yours, she was > always at > > > the > > > nurse (especially in junior high and high > school), > > > or > > > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > > > because > > > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have > stomach > > > aches > > > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing > of > > > any > > > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > > > began > > > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > > > > > Sophie > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2005 Report Share Posted May 7, 2005 My daughter was also sick all the time and still is. Asthma, stomache aches, etc. I read where Bi-Polar's have alot of stomache problems which holds true since my daughter is also Bi Polar. smith-lorraine@... wrote: Dear Sophie, I am amazed to hear so many of you talking about how your daughter was sick all the time, especially in Middle and HS. My daughter was too...and still is and she is 24. I know she has lots of allergies and asthma plus she was diagnosed with chronic Epstein Barr (chronic fatigue syndrome) so I am never sure if it is for real or not. Seems like a pattern. Maybe they don't feel good??? My daughter also cried all the time as a baby...sometimes for hours and never slept through the night until she was around 3 years old. She still doesn't sleep well. Maybe there's something to this? lks Re: Re: intimadation Dear Jamal, My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. She felt neglected at times when it didn't " make sense " (like when my husband was in the hospital after a serious car accident). As a baby, she would hardly tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there she cried continuously. At birthday parties she sat on my lap the whole time. And, like yours, she was always at the nurse (especially in junior high and high school), or had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school because she was sick, and I'm sure she did have stomach aches but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing of any of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I began to hear about her threatening suicide. Sophie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2005 Report Share Posted May 7, 2005 Yes corsam@... wrote: Was that you that IM'd me? Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2005 Report Share Posted May 8, 2005 She takes lithium and paxil, that is she is supposed to be taking it regularly, it's just another thing we fight about (power) Sophie Balcoff wrote:How old is she now? Does she have to take a lot of meds? Sophie --- Jamal Jilao wrote: > Yes, 's stomach aches etc were when she was > upset > or didn't want to face something, unfortunately she > was often upset about something- we chalked it off > to > being overly sensitive. The sleep has been since > she > was little, I gave up trying to put her to bed, the > rule was she had to stay in her room. It took hours > for her to fall asleep and it's still that way. > It's > ADHD. My concern is that she has soo many labels, > ADHD (not actually diagnosed until she was 15 > although > I knew it and worked closely with her teachers > before > that), Bi-Polar, and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome > (she was raped when she was 15). The question is > what > is what and do we add Bp to it or is her behavior an > impact of the above labels. It's all so confusing. > > --- Sophie Balcoff wrote: > > Dear -Lorraine, > > > > I'm sure the physical and mental are connected. > > Especially stomach problems, nausea, fatigue can > be > > connected to anxiety and depression. But my > daughter > > wasn't sick all the time, only when she was upset > by > > something; maybe she herself did not recognize > what > > was making her feel bad, so it became a physical > > thing. > > > > Sleep disturbances are common to depression, > though > > of course you can have sleep disturbance without > > depression... > > > > Sophie > > > > smith-lorraine@... wrote: > > Dear Sophie, > > > > I am amazed to hear so many of you talking about > how > > your daughter was sick all the time, especially in > > Middle and HS. My daughter was too...and still is > > and she is 24. I know she has lots of allergies > and > > asthma plus she was diagnosed with chronic Epstein > > Barr (chronic fatigue syndrome) so I am never sure > > if it is for real or not. Seems like a pattern. > > Maybe they don't feel good??? My daughter also > > cried all the time as a baby...sometimes for hours > > and never slept through the night until she was > > around 3 years old. She still doesn't sleep well. > > > Maybe there's something to this? > > lks > > Re: Re: intimadation > > > > > > Dear Jamal, > > > > My daughter was anxious and overly clingy too. > She > > felt neglected at times when it didn't " make > > sense " > > (like when my husband was in the hospital after > a > > serious car accident). As a baby, she would > > hardly > > tolerate any babysitter; if I was not there she > > cried > > continuously. At birthday parties she sat on my > > lap > > the whole time. And, like yours, she was always > at > > the > > nurse (especially in junior high and high > school), > > or > > had to go home sick, or couldn't go to school > > because > > she was sick, and I'm sure she did have stomach > > aches > > but of course psychosomatic. I thought nothing > of > > any > > of this til she hit about fourteen or so and I > > began > > to hear about her threatening suicide. > > > > Sophie > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > People joining this list must read the guidelines > > and agree to them before posting. Send questions > or > > concerns to WelcomeToOz-owner . > " Stop > > Walking on Eggshells " , a primer for non-BPs, and > > " Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or > > Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family Or > > Yourself " can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL > > (). For table of contents, go to > > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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