Re: trying not to be upset

[Guest guest]

Kate. You know that little boy you were just so proud of, telling us he will be a famous cook? If you were to do "the deed", that is GuArAnTeEd NOT to happen. Why? because he would probably be a drunk, or a druggy, or both. You have NO IDEA of the guilt that children of suicides feel. I do. I am one. and while I KNOW I was not guilty of my father's death, I went through YEARS (and I was an adult when it happened, imagine a child?) of "what if's" "what if *I* had been a better...(fill in the blankS) would he still be alive?" It is a miracle I am not a drunk myself! HE was, my sister is, my other sister died of liver disease (never saw her without a wineglass) my mother is...everyone he left behind either IS or just marginally skirted it (that's me, the rest ALL are) And while *might*, after years of therapy and/or abuse, finally realize that HE was not the reason you "did the deed", he also might never realize it. And what of your other 4 children? And your hubby? You'd be handing him a reason to drink himself stupid every day...on a silver platter...and with his violent tendencies, well, he might end up killing someone...maybe even your children. Ok, now I know that was hard to read. But it is true hun...never doubt that. And NEVER even think about "the deed" as ANY kind of answer to ANY problems. It would not be a wake-up to him, it would be a death sentence for everyone involved. Or a life sentence...either way...bad.We love you Kate, and we're here for you. So don't worry about venting...or calling. . There. Now you can't say you don't have the number. Love you Akiba -- Re: trying not to be upset  Cassy, I was thinking of the more....um...permanent 'leave', if you catch my drift... hugs, kate Re: trying not to be upsetThanks Akiba. I appreciate yours, as well aseveryone'ssupport here, in all matters. I've given up on themiracle,at least for him to face his problems. He is deepintodenial. This is when I get tempted to do the seriousdeed,as I think that perhaps that would push him over theedge-to lose his wife might help him to grow, or something.WhenI ponder it, it truly does makes sense. It is one way toknocksome sense into him.love you, KateI hate to hearthat, Kate. At least you know. Knowledge *is* power. I wish I could goover there and whup him upside...knock some sense into him. But as achild of a severe alcoholic (and one also in firm denial...up untilhis passing) I know it wouldn't do any good. So instead I'll pray thathe does eventually wake up from his self-inducedcoma....er...denial. Miracles DO happen love...HugsAkiba-------OriginalMessage-------From: Kate RothschildDate: 12/31/20072:43:52 PMTo: MSersLife Subject: trying not to be upsetHello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.MyCPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is allabout. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at worksince before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow tome was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcoholassessment...he'll never be donewith denial. Never.loveyou all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith meregarding this ongoing issue for me.Kateps-they cannot forcehim to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advisehim.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhenour hearts are conscious of our treasures.~ThorntonWilder#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328__________________________________________________________More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! - http://webmail.aol.com

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I go into winter hibernation. I really am a bear. Hugs AkibEaR -- trying not to be upset>> Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.> My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' what> it is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has not> been at work since before Christmas--no work available.> Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husband> refused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll never be done> with denial. Never.> love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearing> with me regarding this ongoing issue for me.> Kate> ps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only strongly> encourage and advise him.>> We can only be said to be alive in those moments> when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.> ~Thornton Wilder>>>>>>>>> Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. ~Quentin Crisp~>> ________________________________> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it> now.>>>>

[Guest guest]

Kind of hard to both hibernate, which I think all vertebrates,

especially mammals, are prone to in cold weather, and

FUNCTION! I keep trying!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Bears! (not just the CAL

Bears; the MS bears!)

love,

n

>

>

>

>

>

> I go into winter hibernation. I really am a bear.

> Hugs

> AkibEaR

>

> -- trying not to be upset

> >

> > Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.

> > My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' what

> > it is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has not

> > been at work since before Christmas--no work available.

> > Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husband

> > refused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll never be done

> > with denial. Never.

> > love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearing

> > with me regarding this ongoing issue for me.

> > Kate

> > ps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only strongly

> > encourage and advise him.

> >

> > We can only be said to be alive in those moments

> > when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

> > ~Thornton Wilder

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. ~Quentin

> Crisp~

> >

> > ________________________________

> > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it

> > now.

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Function? I'm supposed to function?!?!?!?!? dang. Hugs Akiba -- trying not to be upset> >> > Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.> > My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' what> > it is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has not> > been at work since before Christmas--no work available.> > Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husband> > refused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll never be done> > with denial. Never.> > love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearing> > with me regarding this ongoing issue for me.> > Kate> > ps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only strongly> > encourage and advise him.> >> > We can only be said to be alive in those moments> > when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.> > ~Thornton Wilder> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. ~Quentin> Crisp~> >> > ________________________________> > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it> > now.> >> >> >> >>>

[Guest guest]

What a beautiful and thoughtful email, Marilyn. I'm so glad you are here with us!

love

Sharon

This email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.

Re: trying not to be upset

My Dear Kate,

I hear you loud and clear! You are certainly stuck between a rock and a very hard place and it is so painful... Kate it seems simple to say to you that "all this will come to pass," but it will! (Been there-done that.) I tend to get very wordy, but there are just a couple of things I would like to point out to you.

#1. Taking the "more permanent leave" will NOT wake him up!!! All it will do is give him his freedom to do whatever he wants - along with an excuse to drink even more! And where will that leave those precious children of yours? Who will help them make peanut brittle? Who will calm their fears and cushion their pain? Who will ever be able to convince them that their mother loved them, but left anyway?

#2. You said that you have given up hope for a miracle. While you are trying to figure it all out and control the solution, have you left room in your life for God to perform a miracle? Or do we try to dictate the only miracle that is acceptable to us? Sometimes we don't allow God to lead and humbly follow. Only then can He perform miracles. My first husband was an alcoholic, but I took my marriage vows very seriously and I probably hung on for too long. When we parted, I was left a single, working mother with 5 young children - but I knew the separation was a good thing when my 3 yr. old daughter climbed on my lap one day and contentedly exclaimed, "I like me!" Three years later my miracle appeared - and Sam and I (and all our children plus 2 more of our own) had 30 years of living and loving!

There is a gift in everything that is happening in your life today. Sometimes it is hard to find the gift, but there are lessons to be learned and a gift for you, which will bless you when you are ready to receive it. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Bless you!

Love, Marilyn

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

I new that. But was letting Kate know it wasnt an option but that the

others are.

hugz,cassy

trying not to be upset

Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.

My

CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' what

it is all

about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has not

been at work

since before Christmas--no work available.

Anyway, the big blow to

me was hearing that my husband

refused to do the alcohol

assessment...he'll never be done

with denial. Never.

love

you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearing

with me

regarding this ongoing issue for me.

Kate

ps-they cannot force

him to have the assessment, only strongly

encourage and advise

him.

We can only be said to be alive in those moments

when

our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

~Thornton

Wilder

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