Re: trying not to be upset

[Guest guest]

Kate I am so sorry to heat that Lloyd won't do the alcohol assessment. I wish I had an answer for you. You remain in my prayers.

Hugs

nne

Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at work since before Christmas--no work available.

Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll never be donewith denial. Never.love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith me regarding this ongoing issue for me. Kateps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advise him.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder

-- Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life

http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.htmlAnxiety Depression and Breast Cancer

http://health.group.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancerAngel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comCheck out my other ornaments at

www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlThe Cancer Clubwww.cancerclub.com

[Guest guest]

I hate to hear that, Kate. At least you know. Knowledge *is* power. I wish I could go over there and whup him upside...knock some sense into him. But as a child of a severe alcoholic (and one also in firm denial...up until his passing) I know it wouldn't do any good. So instead I'll pray that he does eventually wake up from his self-induced coma....er...denial. Miracles DO happen love... Hugs Akiba -- trying not to be upset Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at work since before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll never be donewith denial. Never.love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith me regarding this ongoing issue for me. Kateps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advise him.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry, Kate. But I'm really glad to hear the caseworker "gets" it! That is good news because it validates all you have said and feel about the situation, doesn't it? I don't know how much comfort that is though.loveSharon This email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. trying not to be upset

Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.

My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' what

it is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has not

been at work since before Christmas--no work available.

Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husband

refused to do the alcohol assessment.. .he'll never be done

with denial. Never.

love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearing

with me regarding this ongoing issue for me.

Kate

ps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only strongly

encourage and advise him.

We can only be said to be alive in those moments

when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

~Thornton Wilder

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Kate, My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good luck. We are here if you need us. Hugs, :)Akiba wrote: I hate to hear that, Kate. At least you know. Knowledge *is* power. I wish I could go over

there and whup him upside...knock some sense into him. But as a child of a severe alcoholic (and one also in firm denial...up until his passing) I know it wouldn't do any good. So instead I'll pray that he does eventually wake up from his self-induced coma....er...denial. Miracles DO happen love... Hugs Akiba -- trying not to be upset Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at work since before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll never be donewith denial. Never.love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith me regarding this ongoing issue for me. Kateps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advise him.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder Peace, Love and Hugs, D.

[Guest guest]

Since he is in denial and refuses to do it - now it is documented.

trying not to be upset

Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at work since before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll never be donewith denial. Never.love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith me regarding this ongoing issue for me. Kateps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advise him.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder

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[Guest guest]

Hi, Kate:

Not a happy way to end the year. I can't recall if you have tried an intervention with Lloyd. But, ultimately it's going to have to be Lloyd to admit he has a problem if there's going to be any effective change in his life.

Are there any groups like Alanon for spouses of alcoholics near where you live?

Will keep you in prayer!

--Mr. Dana F. Utz utzdana@... https://home.comcast.net/~utzdana/

[Guest guest]

Yes, Dana, there are some good Alanon meetings not far from me. One problem is getting there, as most of them are in the evening. The kids are stressed out when Lloyd is caring for them, as his anger and moods are so unpredictable. That is why if I work, it will have to be when they are at school, and any doctor appts., infusions, etc., I always try to make certain I am there for them when they get home from school--esp. the younger ones.

I claim the prayer; Lord knows I need it! thank you so much, Dana,

love ,Kate

Re: trying not to be upset

Hi, Kate:

Not a happy way to end the year. I can't recall if you have tried an intervention with Lloyd. But, ultimately it's going to have to be Lloyd to admit he has a problem if there's going to be any effective change in his life.

Are there any groups like Alanon for spouses of alcoholics near where you live?

Will keep you in prayer!

--Mr. Dana F. Utz utzdanacomcast (DOT) net https://home.comcast.net/~utzdana/

[Guest guest]

Re: trying not to be upset

Thank you . I feel like this is something I've gone on about ad nauseum, and feel guilty for it always being a topic of concern for me. I do believe God gives us each a cross to bear, and I'm afraid this one is mine.

love, Kate

Kate,

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good luck. We are here if you need us.

Hugs,

..

[Guest guest]

Re: trying not to be upset

She not only 'gets it'=she has lived it. Her step father she said was an alcoholic, so she knows firsthand. It does validate things. Yes. She is going to keep after her supervisor to try and mandate him to get help, but she said she doesn't think it will happen. oh well. I should have known. The case will be closed soon, and I'll be back in the same place as always. It doesn't really matter anymore. God I suppose wants to teach me perseverance and patience.

love, Kate

I'm so sorry, Kate. But I'm really glad to hear the caseworker "gets" it! That is good news because it validates all you have said and feel about the situation, doesn't it? I don't know how much comfort that is though.loveSharon

..

[Guest guest]

Thanks Akiba. I appreciate yours, as well as everyone's

support here, in all matters. I've given up on the miracle,

at least for him to face his problems. He is deep into

denial. This is when I get tempted to do the serious deed,

as I think that perhaps that would push him over the edge-

to lose his wife might help him to grow, or something. When

I ponder it, it truly does makes sense. It is one way to knock

some sense into him.

love you, Kate

I hate to hear that, Kate. At least you know. Knowledge *is* power. I wish I could go over there and whup him upside...knock some sense into him. But as a child of a severe alcoholic (and one also in firm denial...up until his passing) I know it wouldn't do any good. So instead I'll pray that he does eventually wake up from his self-induced coma....er...denial. Miracles DO happen love...

Hugs

Akiba

-- trying not to be upset

Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at work since before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll never be donewith denial. Never.love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith me regarding this ongoing issue for me. Kateps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advise him.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder

[Guest guest]

Very good point, Anne, I appreciate that, however,

I don't know 'where' the documentation is going

to get him, or me for that matter.

Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

trying not to be upset

Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at work since before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll never be donewith denial. Never.love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith me regarding this ongoing issue for me. Kateps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advise him.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.17.12/1203 - Release Date: 12/30/2007 11:27 AM

[Guest guest]

Kate. If you didn't have here to vent, you might explode...so vent away hon...we are, after all, a SUPPORT group, MS'rs *LIFE* and life includes venting. I vent about financial stuff, Val used to vent about mold (that got fixed, see? miracles DO happen!)(Now we need your hubby in rehab and me to win the lotto...) Even our fearless leader Sharon has been known to vent about her crazy veggie-lobbing neighbors... Hugs Akiba -- Re: trying not to be upset Re: trying not to be upset Thank you . I feel like this is something I've gone on about ad nauseum, and feel guilty for it always being a topic of concern for me. I do believe God gives us each a cross to bear, and I'm afraid this one is mine. love, Kate Kate, My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good luck. We are here if you need us. Hugs, .

[Guest guest]

But you said the kids don't like to be left with him in the evening so you can go to Alanon--so what would it be like with you permanently gone?Are you still taking all the meds you were when you left the hospital? Have you gone down any further on the Cymbalta? You sounded so good when you left the hospital and now you are sounding more depressed again and I'm wondering what, if anything, has happened to bring that on.loveSharon This email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. trying not to be upset

Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at work since before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcohol assessment.. .he'll never be donewith denial. Never.love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith me regarding this ongoing issue for me. Kateps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advise him.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Kate, my father was a suicide, so I can tell you from the families' perspective. It won't help. So don't do it. And from a karmic prospective, if you DO, you'll only have to deal with it all over again next time. So don't do it.. And I'd miss you. So, don't do it! Hugs Akiba -- Re: trying not to be upset But you said the kids don't like to be left with him in the evening so you can go to Alanon--so what would it be like with you permanently gone?Are you still taking all the meds you were when you left the hospital? Have you gone down any further on the Cymbalta? You sounded so good when you left the hospital and now you are sounding more depressed again and I'm wondering what, if anything, has happened to bring that on.loveSharon This email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. trying not to be upset Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at work since before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcohol assessment.. .he'll never be donewith denial. Never.love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith me regarding this ongoing issue for me. Kateps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advise him.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Kate, Please don't think that way. Your children will forever remember if you committed suicide and they will have a difficult future. Believe me, your husband will probably get worse bcs it would be difficult to accept that and he will just self medicate with the alcohol and who knows what. Your family will forever be scarred especially if they are the ones that find you. It's just a really difficult thing for any family. When I get depressed I think of my kids and it helps me. I always think of what they would be like if I wasn't here to help them, be there for them in good times and bad times and also when they have children and want to take them to grandma's and grandpa's house. It gets me through it. We will soooooooooooo miss you very much. Please stop thinking that way. Maybe going to a support group will help

you deal with your husband's issues. You really do need that. Get a babysitter to watch your children at their place, not yours. You need time for yourself so you can live your life and not live how what your husband does that affects you. Please try to talk to someone to get you through this ok???? Lots of hugs, :)Akiba wrote: Kate, my father was a suicide, so I can tell you from the families' perspective. It won't help. So don't do it. And from a karmic prospective, if you DO, you'll only have to deal with it all over again next time. So don't do it.. And I'd miss you. So, don't do it! Hugs Akiba -- Re: trying not to be upset But you said the kids don't like to be left with him in the evening so you can go to Alanon--so what would it be like with you permanently gone?Are you still taking all the meds you were when you left the hospital? Have you gone down any further on the Cymbalta? You sounded so good when you left the hospital and now you are sounding more depressed again and I'm wondering what, if anything, has happened to bring that on.loveSharon This email is a natural hand made product. The

slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. trying not to be upset Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at work since before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcohol assessment.. .he'll never be donewith denial. Never.love you all. Thank you f! or beari ng me up, as well as

bearingwith me regarding this ongoing issue for me. Kateps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advise him.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Peace, Love and Hugs, D.

[Guest guest]

Kate~ Hon, don't give up believing. Miracles happen everyday. Even for someone as stubborn as Lloyd. They just happen when they are most needed. Yes, it may take something tragic to bring him to his senses. But, then again, that could make matters worse. If he is bent on staying in denial, that is a choice that he has made. That however, is not a choice you have to live with. I know, you've already said it many times that you feel trapped and that leaving is an option. I believe it is an option, it's just not one you want to use. So, then you just look for other options. And as long as you and your children are in no danger, it's totally up to you. If there is a danger present for you and your children, then I don't need to tell you what the right thing to do is. Just one thing...doing the "deed" is NEVER an option. Nothing good ever comes from that. Not for you, and not for anyone who loves or cares for you. But, I do know how you feel. I really do. I too suffer with depression and there are many times I have gotten to the point that all I can think about, is how to get out of this world that is so full of gloom and doom. Many times you'll hear me say, "I just want to dig a hole in the ground and stay there untill this bad feeling passes". And when y'all don't hear from me for extended periods of time, that's because basically, proverbially that is what I'm doing. Kate you are so loved by so many. This site really is not the same when you're not around. You have so much to offer. You are bright, witty, intellegent, loving and caring. I am one

of you biggest fans! Really...I mean it! And I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that. Keep your head up. That's where you'll find the strength to get through this. I'm keeping you in my prayers. And I'm going to pray for that miracle that you are looking for. Love and blessings, Val wrote: Thanks Akiba. I appreciate yours, as well as everyone's support here, in all matters. I've given up on the miracle, at least for him to face his problems. He is deep into denial. This is when I get tempted to do the serious deed, as I think that perhaps that would push him over the edge- to lose his wife might help him to grow, or something. When I ponder it, it truly does makes sense. It is one way to knock some sense into him. love you, Kate I hate to hear that, Kate. At least you know. Knowledge *is* power. I wish I could go over there and whup him upside...knock some sense into him. But as a child of a severe alcoholic (and one also in firm denial...up until his passing) I know it wouldn't do any good. So instead I'll pray that he does eventually wake up from his self-induced coma....er...denial. Miracles DO happen love... Hugs Akiba -- trying not to be upset Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at work since before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll

never be donewith denial. Never.love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith me regarding this ongoing issue for me. Kateps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advise him.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. ~Quentin Crisp~

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Val and Akiba have said it all, and said it so well!

Kate, people with NO problems and NO illnesses get

depressed during every major holiday season, especially

THIS one! We are all pulling for you and for those kids,

and for Lloyd to wake up and realize that his habit is

killing not only him (slowly), but harming his own children.

Do NOT TAKE ACTION against you--the truly innocent one

in all this!

And, if all else fails:1-800-SUICIDE

1- 1-800-273-TALK

1-

I gather that you and Lloyd have different religions. Do YOU

have a pastor or piest or minister whom you can at least ask

to come to the house to talk with you?

Love and hope, and courage--from all of us here at

MSers Life,

n Rojas

>

>

>

>

> Kate~

> Hon, don't give up believing. Miracles happen everyday. Even for someone as

> stubborn as Lloyd. They just happen when they are most needed. Yes, it may

> take something tragic to bring him to his senses. But, then again, that

> could make matters worse. If he is bent on staying in denial, that is a

> choice that he has made. That however, is not a choice you have to live

> with. I know, you've already said it many times that you feel trapped and

> that leaving is an option. I believe it is an option, it's just not one you

> want to use. So, then you just look for other options. And as long as you

> and your children are in no danger, it's totally up to you. If there is a

> danger present for you and your children, then I don't need to tell you what

> the right thing to do is.

>

> Just one thing...doing the " deed " is NEVER an option. Nothing good ever

> comes from that. Not for you, and not for anyone who loves or cares for you.

> But, I do know how you feel. I really do. I too suffer with depression and

> there are many times I have gotten to the point that all I can think about,

> is how to get out of this world that is so full of gloom and doom. Many

> times you'll hear me say, " I just want to dig a hole in the ground and stay

> there untill this bad feeling passes " . And when y'all don't hear from me for

> extended periods of time, that's because basically, proverbially that is

> what I'm doing.

>

> Kate you are so loved by so many. This site really is not the same when

> you're not around. You have so much to offer. You are bright, witty,

> intellegent, loving and caring. I am one of you biggest fans! Really...I

> mean it! And I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that.

> Keep your head up. That's where you'll find the strength to get through

> this. I'm keeping you in my prayers. And I'm going to pray for that miracle

> that you are looking for.

> Love and blessings,

> Val <*)))><

>

>

>

> Kate Rothschild wrote:

>

>

> Thanks Akiba. I appreciate yours, as well as everyone's

> support here, in all matters. I've given up on the miracle,

> at least for him to face his problems. He is deep into

> denial. This is when I get tempted to do the serious deed,

> as I think that perhaps that would push him over the edge-

> to lose his wife might help him to grow, or something. When

> I ponder it, it truly does makes sense. It is one way to knock

> some sense into him.

> love you, Kate

>

>

> I hate to hear that, Kate. At least you know. Knowledge *is* power. I wish I

> could go over there and whup him upside...knock some sense into him. But as

> a child of a severe alcoholic (and one also in firm denial...up until his

> passing) I know it wouldn't do any good. So instead I'll pray that he does

> eventually wake up from his self-induced coma....er...denial. Miracles DO

> happen love...

> Hugs

> Akiba

>

> -- trying not to be upset

>

> Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.

> My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' what

> it is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has not

> been at work since before Christmas--no work available.

> Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husband

> refused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll never be done

> with denial. Never.

> love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearing

> with me regarding this ongoing issue for me.

> Kate

> ps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only strongly

> encourage and advise him.

>

> We can only be said to be alive in those moments

> when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

> ~Thornton Wilder

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. ~Quentin Crisp~

>

> ________________________________

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it

> now.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kate.....remember again, that we are all here for you if you need us. If you need more help don't hesitate to call those numbers n provided. You can talk to us anytime. I am sure there are people in the group with different time zones here for you at most all the time. Please lean on us if you need to. Hugs, :)n Rojas wrote: Val and Akiba have said it all, and said it so well!Kate, people with NO

problems and NO illnesses getdepressed during every major holiday season, especiallyTHIS one! We are all pulling for you and for those kids,and for Lloyd to wake up and realize that his habit iskilling not only him (slowly), but harming his own children.Do NOT TAKE ACTION against you--the truly innocent onein all this!And, if all else fails:1-800-SUICIDE1- 1-800-273-TALK1-I gather that you and Lloyd have different religions. Do YOUhave a pastor or piest or minister whom you can at least askto come to the house to talk with you?Love and hope, and courage--from all of us here atMSers Life,n RojasOn Jan 1, 2008 3:31 PM, Marie Lee <a1manlady> wrote:>>>>> Kate~> Hon, don't give up believing. Miracles happen everyday. Even for someone as> stubborn as

Lloyd. They just happen when they are most needed. Yes, it may> take something tragic to bring him to his senses. But, then again, that> could make matters worse. If he is bent on staying in denial, that is a> choice that he has made. That however, is not a choice you have to live> with. I know, you've already said it many times that you feel trapped and> that leaving is an option. I believe it is an option, it's just not one you> want to use. So, then you just look for other options. And as long as you> and your children are in no danger, it's totally up to you. If there is a> danger present for you and your children, then I don't need to tell you what> the right thing to do is.>> Just one thing...doing the "deed" is NEVER an option. Nothing good ever> comes from that. Not for you, and not for anyone who loves or cares for you.> But, I do know how you feel. I really do. I too suffer

with depression and> there are many times I have gotten to the point that all I can think about,> is how to get out of this world that is so full of gloom and doom. Many> times you'll hear me say, "I just want to dig a hole in the ground and stay> there untill this bad feeling passes". And when y'all don't hear from me for> extended periods of time, that's because basically, proverbially that is> what I'm doing.>> Kate you are so loved by so many. This site really is not the same when> you're not around. You have so much to offer. You are bright, witty,> intellegent, loving and caring. I am one of you biggest fans! Really...I> mean it! And I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that.> Keep your head up. That's where you'll find the strength to get through> this. I'm keeping you in my prayers. And I'm going to pray for that miracle> that you are looking for.> Love and

blessings,> Val <*)))><>>>> Kate Rothschild <katelloydkidzoptonline (DOT) net> wrote:>>> Thanks Akiba. I appreciate yours, as well as everyone's> support here, in all matters. I've given up on the miracle,> at least for him to face his problems. He is deep into> denial. This is when I get tempted to do the serious deed,> as I think that perhaps that would push him over the edge-> to lose his wife might help him to grow, or something. When> I ponder it, it truly does makes sense. It is one way to knock> some sense into him.> love you, Kate>>> I hate to hear that, Kate. At least you know. Knowledge *is* power. I wish I> could go over there and whup him upside...knock some sense into him. But as> a child of a severe alcoholic (and one also in firm denial...up

until his> passing) I know it wouldn't do any good. So instead I'll pray that he does> eventually wake up from his self-induced coma....er...denial. Miracles DO> happen love...> Hugs> Akiba>> -- trying not to be upset>> Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.> My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' what> it is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has not> been at work since before Christmas--no work available.> Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husband> refused to do the alcohol assessment...he'll never be done> with denial. Never.> love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as

well as bearing> with me regarding this ongoing issue for me.> Kate> ps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only strongly> encourage and advise him.>> We can only be said to be alive in those moments> when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.> ~Thornton Wilder>>>>>>>>> Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. ~Quentin Crisp~>> ________________________________> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it> now.>>>> Peace, Love and Hugs, D.

[Guest guest]

Kate. You mean serious deed as in to leave and give him a wake-up

call. Right!? I think if anything that would wake him up.What would

he do without you?Imagine that. I bet he would miss you so much and

realize hes a pain in the @ & * and he has gotta change. otherwise he

knows you mean business and will leave again. And along with those

angels of yours it would be very lonely.Hang in there! You can do it.

hugz,cassy

trying not to be upset

Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.

My

CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' what

it is all

about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has not

been at work

since before Christmas--no work available.

Anyway, the big blow to

me was hearing that my husband

refused to do the alcohol

assessment...he'll never be done

with denial. Never.

love

you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearing

with me

regarding this ongoing issue for me.

Kate

ps-they cannot force

him to have the assessment, only strongly

encourage and advise

him.

We can only be said to be alive in those moments

when

our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

~Thornton

Wilder

#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328

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[Guest guest]

Yes.I did. But thats not allowed! You will be fine. God dosnt put

angels like you on the earth to have them be takn that way. One day at a

time Kate. You are to genuine and loving of a person to have to deal

with this hell. There are options.I know its tough. But you are strong

and even though you feel stuck there is always a way out. And BESIDES if

you ever need a place to go you have many! Mine included! Love you lots!

cassy

Re: trying not to be upset



Cassy, I was thinking of the more....um...permanent 'leave',

if you catch my drift...

hugs, kate

trying not to be upset

Hello my friends...well the saga

continues, and I apologize.

My

CPS caseworker came today to visit. She

'gets' what

it is all

about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has

not

been at work

since before Christmas--no work available.

Anyway,

the big blow to

me was hearing that my husband

refused to do the

alcohol

assessment...he'll never be done

with denial.

Never.

love

you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as

bearing

with me

regarding this ongoing issue for

me.

Kate

ps-they cannot force

him to have the assessment, only

strongly

encourage and advise

him.

We can only be said to be

alive in those moments

when

our hearts are conscious of our

treasures.

~Thornton

Wilder

#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328

#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328

#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328

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new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -

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[Guest guest]

{{{hugs}}} Kate. ShirleyThere is only one way to happiness, and that is cease worrying about the things which are beyond the power of our will.

trying not to be upset

Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.My CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is all about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at work since before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow to me was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcohol assessment.. .he'll never be donewith denial. Never.love you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith me regarding this ongoing issue for me. Kateps-they cannot force him to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advise him.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder

[Guest guest]

My Dear Kate,

I hear you loud and clear! You are certainly stuck between a rock and a very hard place and it is so painful... Kate it seems simple to say to you that "all this will come to pass," but it will! (Been there-done that.) I tend to get very wordy, but there are just a couple of things I would like to point out to you.

#1. Taking the "more permanent leave" will NOT wake him up!!! All it will do is give him his freedom to do whatever he wants - along with an excuse to drink even more! And where will that leave those precious children of yours? Who will help them make peanut brittle? Who will calm their fears and cushion their pain? Who will ever be able to convince them that their mother loved them, but left anyway?

#2. You said that you have given up hope for a miracle. While you are trying to figure it all out and control the solution, have you left room in your life for God to perform a miracle? Or do we try to dictate the only miracle that is acceptable to us? Sometimes we don't allow God to lead and humbly follow. Only then can He perform miracles. My first husband was an alcoholic, but I took my marriage vows very seriously and I probably hung on for too long. When we parted, I was left a single, working mother with 5 young children - but I knew the separation was a good thing when my 3 yr. old daughter climbed on my lap one day and contentedly exclaimed, "I like me!" Three years later my miracle appeared - and Sam and I (and all our children plus 2 more of our own) had 30 years of living and loving!

There is a gift in everything that is happening in your life today. Sometimes it is hard to find the gift, but there are lessons to be learned and a gift for you, which will bless you when you are ready to receive it. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Bless you!

Love, Marilyn

[Guest guest]

Um, no Cassy, that isn't the "deed" referred to. Hugs Akiba -- Re: trying not to be upsetThanks Akiba. I appreciate yours, as well aseveryone'ssupport here, in all matters. I've given up on themiracle,at least for him to face his problems. He is deepintodenial. This is when I get tempted to do the seriousdeed,as I think that perhaps that would push him over theedge-to lose his wife might help him to grow, or something.WhenI ponder it, it truly does makes sense. It is one way toknocksome sense into him.love you, KateI hate to hearthat, Kate. At least you know. Knowledge *is* power. I wish I could goover there and whup him upside...knock some sense into him. But as achild of a severe alcoholic (and one also in firm denial...up untilhis passing) I know it wouldn't do any good. So instead I'll pray thathe does eventually wake up from his self-inducedcoma....er...denial. Miracles DO happen love...HugsAkiba-------OriginalMessage-------From: Kate RothschildDate: 12/31/20072:43:52 PMTo: MSersLife Subject: trying not to be upsetHello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.MyCPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is allabout. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at worksince before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow tome was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcoholassessment...he'll never be donewith denial. Never.loveyou all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith meregarding this ongoing issue for me.Kateps-they cannot forcehim to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advisehim.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhenour hearts are conscious of our treasures.~ThorntonWilder#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328__________________________________________________________More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! - http://webmail.aol.com

[Guest guest]

I have to admit I wasn't sure which 'deed' Kate meant. I assumed it was the 'bridge jump' option and began writing a reply to that. Then, I realized she may mean 'divorce.' So, I canceled what I was originally going to post.

--Mr. Dana F. Utz utzdana@... https://home.comcast.net/~utzdana/

--------- Re: trying not to be upsetThanks Akiba. I appreciate yours, as well aseveryone'ssupport here, in all matters. I've given up on themiracle,at least for him to face his problems. He is deepintodenial. This is w

hen I get tempted to do the seriousdeed,as I think that perhaps that would push him over theedge-to lose his wife might help him to grow, or something.WhenI ponder it, it truly does makes sense. It is one way toknocksome sense into him.love you, KateI hate to hearthat, Kate. At least you know. Knowledge *is* power. I wish I could goover there and whup him upside...knock some sense into him. But as achild of a severe alcoholic (and one also in firm denial...up untilhis passing) I know it wouldn't do any good. So instead I'll pray thathe does eventually wake up from his self-inducedcoma....er...denial. Miracles DO happen love...HugsAkiba-------OriginalMessage-------From: Kate RothschildDate: 12/31/20072:43:52 PMTo: MSersLife Subject: trying not to be upsetHello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.MyCPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' whatit is allabout. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has notbeen at worksince before Christmas--no work available.Anyway, the big blow tome was hearing that my husbandrefused to do the alcoholassessment...he'll never be donewith denial. Never.loveyou all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearingwith meregarding this ongoing issue for me.Kateps-they cannot forcehim to have the assessment, only stronglyencourage and advisehim.We can only be said to be alive in those momentswhenour hearts are conscious of our treasures.~ThorntonWilder#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328#AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328__________________________________________________________More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! - http://webmail.aol.com

[Guest guest]

Dana, you were WAAAAAY ahead of me!

Thank you for your good judgement!

love,

n

>

> I have to admit I wasn't sure which 'deed' Kate meant. I assumed it was the

> 'bridge jump' option and began writing a reply to that. Then, I realized she

> may mean 'divorce.' So, I canceled what I was originally going to post.

>

> --

> Mr. Dana F. Utz

> utzdana@...

>

> https://home.comcast.net/~utzdana/

>

> ---------

> trying not to be upset

>

> Hello my friends...well the saga continues, and I apologize.

> My

> CPS caseworker came today to visit. She 'gets' what

> it is all

> about. Lloyd was at work. That is good. He has not

> been at work

> since before Christmas--no work available.

> Anyway, the big blow to

> me was hearing that my husband

> refused to do the alcohol

> assessment...he'll never be done

> with denial. Never.

> love

> you all. Thank you for bearing me up, as well as bearing

> with me

> regarding this ongoing issue for me.

> Kate

> ps-they cannot force

> him to have the assessment, only strongly

> encourage and advise

> him.

>

> We can only be said to be alive in those moments

> when

> our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

> ~Thornton

> Wilder

>

> #AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328

>

> #AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328

>

> #AOLMsgPart_2_d7ecb3ef-35f3-4792-b669-52c7735fc328

>

> __________________________________________________________

> More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -

> http://webmail.aol.com

>

>