RE: Digest Number 1069

[Guest guest]

Good morning! Best to all. Here's my global response:

I like your attitude: " if I was overprotective of her at 13 . . . well she

can just get over it. " Touche!

Sorry you've been ill and missed your counseling appointment, but it sounds

like the lady was good to " meet " with you and pray with you.

--

Thanks for posting the poems.

Somalitamal--

Welcome to the group.

You cannot make your dtr do anything at 18. But if she lives at home, you

have the right to set and enforce boundaries, and enable consequences for

violation of those boundaries and house rules.

Consider what actions are not acceptable to you, and consider what

consequences you can enforce that will be meaningful to hear (no phone, no

car, lots of house cleaning, etc.). Setting limits and boundaries may not

change the amount of chaos, but it will put you in the driver's seat and you

will be proactive, rather than reactive.

Good luck.

Since you did not post the email you were responding to with your question

about whether I thought " this way " or not, I am at a loss as to how to

respond.

If you're responding to 's poems, well, I have a couple comments.

First, the poems reflect the private, innermost thoughts of a bp. As you

said, the thinking IS all over the place, and the only way one overcomes

that sort of thing is with lots of therapy, and someone to guide you into

new patterns of thought and behavior. It does take literally years.

One does not one day simply sit up, look around, smile and say, " I've

arrived. I'm finally cured. " No, it is a process, a long process. Bp

thinking invades every aspect of your perception of the world, so even after

years of therapy, you can discover a nook of bp thinking that hasn't been

dealt with, and then, after all your hard work, you sigh, and do some more

hard work, and root that nasty stuff out, too.