Addressing Unanswered Questions About Sexuality

[Guest guest]

Darlene, it has been 7 year for me. I still have no "desire". I thought it was just me, till I read this article.

Jeana

[Guest guest]

I just read the article, what a great piece it is!!! Thank you

nne for posting it.

I have been talking with my onco. dr. for SO long about

this......Response? " oh , it will come back, you've been through a lot "

Yes, your right I have.......AND I've come through it....I still

believe it's " long term side effects " of the chemo. It started shortly

after I began chemo and lessened as the time went on, I can understand

it as I went thru tx. but it's been almost a year. There is more to

this losing the " desire " (I'll call it) as the article states. I've

been after my dr. to do a testosterone level on me.....Is this so

crazy? He thinks so......I don't.

The thought of possibly being " irreversable " is unexceptable to

me....Could this be true? I sure hope not. It's been almost 1 year

since chemo.......I wonder how long something like this lasts? It's not

like chemo pushed me into meno, I was there before all this. (hadn't

had a period in 11 months and the desire was there then)

Does it come back? I sure hope so.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Darlene

[Guest guest]

I don't think requesting testing is crazy. He WORKS for you and should either give you a good reason why its not necessary to test or do the tests. I don't think this it will come back is a good answer after this length of time. Just my opinion.

Hugs

nne

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RE: addressing unanswered questions about sexuality

I just read the article, what a great piece it is!!! Thank you nne for posting it. I have been talking with my onco. dr. for SO long about this......Response? "oh , it will come back, you've been through a lot"Yes, your right I have.......AND I've come through it....I still believe it's "long term side effects" of the chemo. It started shortly after I began chemo and lessened as the time went on, I can understand it as I went thru tx. but it's been almost a year. There is more to this losing the "desire" (I'll call it) as the article states. I've been after my dr. to do a testosterone level on me.....Is this so crazy? He thinks so......I don't.The thought of possibly being "irreversable" is unexceptable to me....Could this be true? I sure hope not. It's been almost 1 year since chemo.......I wonder how long something like this lasts? It's not like chemo pushed me into meno, I was there before all this. (hadn't had a period in 11 months and the desire was there then) Does it come back? I sure hope so.Thanks for letting me vent. Darlene

[Guest guest]

Darlene, I know exactly how you feel. I have no desire at all. Its good to know its not only me. You can say anything you need to here, it will offend no one. If it is offensive, they can delete the message and not read it. Jeana

[Guest guest]

7 years? I'm scared. I too, thought it was just me. I SO want to

talk about this issue but I don't want anyone to be offended. This

is a HARD thing for me to deal with. Can I ask questions? Perhaps

to anyone out there? This seems to be such a taboo subject even with

people that have gone through this. I realize there are no easy

answers yet at least discussing it helps me to understand; at least a

little bit. I just don't understand how anyone deals with it. And

it's not the " sex " thing......it's the " feeling " that has gone. The

article talks about the phases of the sexual response cycle, heck I

can't even get to the arousal part. It's like I have lost the

excitement of even thinking about it, if that makes any sense at all.

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate your taking the time for me.

Warm thoughts to everyone on this beautiful sunny day.

Darlene

> Darlene, it has been 7 year for me. I still have no " desire " . I

thought it

> was just me, till I read this article.

> Jeana

[Guest guest]

Well so far the only one it bothers is hubby. lol

I do get aroused once in a while, but it take a lot. Jeana

[Guest guest]

I hate having to use a lubricant\Jeana

[Guest guest]

How do you deal with this issue? I truly miss that part of

me......feels like a part of me is missing and I don't know how to deal

with it. I have a great partner which has helped a lot, but it

doesn't " fix " that part of me inside. I don't even have the emotional

feeling of wanting to be/get aroused, that's the wierd thing. I used

to wake up aroused and easily get aroused....now nothing....not even a

hint of it :-(

I'm not ready to give that part up. Thanks Jeana.

Darlene

- In breastcancer2 , stmpcrzy@w... wrote:

> Darlene, I know exactly how you feel. I have no desire at all. Its

good to

> know its not only me. You can say anything you need to here, it will

offend no

> one. If it is offensive, they can delete the message and not read it.

> Jeana

[Guest guest]

Not only no desire, no moisture. I try to keep my

sense of humor, esp how long it now takes me to bathe

with no hair and no juices. I mean I used to run the

shower attachmeny between my legs (no, not for that

reason...) to rinse up and rinse off between soaping.

Damn, I do it now and nothing even opens. There must

be cobwebs in there.

--- stmpcrzy@... wrote:

> Darlene, I know exactly how you feel. I have no

> desire at all. Its good to

> know its not only me. You can say anything you need

> to here, it will offend no

> one. If it is offensive, they can delete the message

> and not read it.

> Jeana

>

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[Guest guest]

Nothing is taboo pertaining to breast cancer and it's effects on us. I

hadn't really thought about the sexual aspects of it, as I was newly

divorced and definately "gun-shy" about having another relationship.

My friends think I'm nuts because I still refuse to date. I thought my

desires were killed by the divorce, because I did have a tough time

going without at first, but maybe it was a side effect of the

chemo....don't know and probably never will ! ! !

Darlene and Kate wrote:

7 years? I'm scared. I too, thought it was just me. I SO want to

talk about this issue but I don't want anyone to be offended. This

is a HARD thing for me to deal with. Can I ask questions? Perhaps

to anyone out there? This seems to be such a taboo subject even with

people that have gone through this. I realize there are no easy

answers yet at least discussing it helps me to understand; at least a

little bit. I just don't understand how anyone deals with it. And

it's not the "sex" thing......it's the "feeling" that has gone. The

article talks about the phases of the sexual response cycle, heck I

can't even get to the arousal part. It's like I have lost the

excitement of even thinking about it, if that makes any sense at all.

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate your taking the time for me.

Warm thoughts to everyone on this beautiful sunny day.

Darlene

> Darlene, it has been 7 year for me. I still have no "desire". I

thought it

> was just me, till I read this article.

> Jeana

[Guest guest]

It's been 5 since since I completed chemo treatments and the desire has NOT returned.

Here's a funny story....a few years ago I was discussing my lack of desire with my family doctor and asked her if there was something on the market that might help. She seemed embarassed and kind of fumbled around, and then suggested that my husband and I read sexually explicit books together and/or watch sexually stimulating movies.

I was so surprised by her response that I almost burst into laughter - instead I shrieked in a loud and high pitched squeal, '"WHAT????? YOU'RE PRESCRIBING PORNO MOVIES"?????

Oh dear! I really embarassed her AND me. Years later, it still makes me laugh.

Retained my sense of humor, but NOT my desire,

Ann

P.S. Given the choice, I'd still choose laughter over sex!

Diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer (Stage IIIB) at age 52 - 8/16/99 Treatment began 8/17/99 - 5 days after noticing symptoms 4 rounds Adriamyacin & Taxotere Bilateral mastectomies Taxol every 3 weeks for 4 months 36 rounds radiation 6 months weekly herceptin NED - and praying that each of you will be, too. Now designing/sewing and Selling (God willing) chemo hats, check me out at: http://www.cjhats.com

OR, If you prefer eBay:

http://stores.ebay.com/cjhats

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

--

I suffer the same affliction....I did ask my gyn doc about it and was

told it was probably due to the lack of estrogen...and if it didn't

bother my husband it shouldn't bother me.....I though that was a real

cop out answer....and I was told also to always use a lubricant because

of the thinning, dry tissue.

Its nice to be able to talk about it here....

Hugs / Elaine

For those who don't me, it has been 8 years.

- In breastcancer2 , stmpcrzy@w... wrote:

> I hate having to use a lubricant\Jeana

[Guest guest]

-I'll come on board this SEX issue. I haven't had the desire for years

before my cancer. I am 51 years old and started noticing menapausal

symptoms about 5 or 6 years ago. The lack of desire is definetly part

of that whole thing. My poor husband. He hasn't had IT for so long. I

know he thinks it's him but it isn't. It's a very real thing. NO

DESIRE. I could care less. How come men get so much attention when

they have a problem but women have no pharmacutical company making

them a " Little blue pill " . I think if we talked to other women cancer

or no cancer, desire takes a holiday somewhere around 47 or 50 years

old. Also, how come intimacy has to end up with intercourse? Can't men

just cuddle, hold hands, caress? Why do they have to GO ALL THEY WAy?

Am I getting to graphic here? Well just my thoughts,

Love Nancee-- In breastcancer2 , " Elaine "

<button49@h...> wrote:

> --

> I suffer the same affliction....I did ask my gyn doc about it and

was

> told it was probably due to the lack of estrogen...and if it didn't

> bother my husband it shouldn't bother me.....I though that was a

real

> cop out answer....and I was told also to always use a lubricant

because

> of the thinning, dry tissue.

> Its nice to be able to talk about it here....

> Hugs / Elaine

> For those who don't me, it has been 8 years.

>

> - In breastcancer2 , stmpcrzy@w... wrote:

> > I hate having to use a lubricant\Jeana

[Guest guest]

I went thru menopause shortly after turning 40 and did not have

decreased desire. In fact, without the threat of pregnancy, it was

pretty fantastic. I was 49 when I had the chemo. I did hear recently

that there's a new medication for women's libido problems, but don't

remember what it's called, or if it's on the market yet.

nancee32000 wrote:

-I'll come on board this SEX issue. I haven't had the desire for years

before my cancer. I am 51 years old and started noticing menapausal

symptoms about 5 or 6 years ago. The lack of desire is definetly part

of that whole thing. My poor husband. He hasn't had IT for so long. I

know he thinks it's him but it isn't. It's a very real thing. NO

DESIRE. I could care less. How come men get so much attention when

they have a problem but women have no pharmacutical company making

them a "Little blue pill". I think if we talked to other women cancer

or no cancer, desire takes a holiday somewhere around 47 or 50 years

old. Also, how come intimacy has to end up with intercourse? Can't men

just cuddle, hold hands, caress? Why do they have to GO ALL THEY WAy?

Am I getting to graphic here? Well just my thoughts,

Love Nancee-- In breastcancer2 , "Elaine"

<button49@h...> wrote:

> --

> I suffer the same affliction....I did ask my gyn doc about it and

was

> told it was probably due to the lack of estrogen...and if it

didn't

> bother my husband it shouldn't bother me.....I though that was a

real

> cop out answer....and I was told also to always use a lubricant

because

> of the thinning, dry tissue.

> Its nice to be able to talk about it here....

> Hugs / Elaine

> For those who don't me, it has been 8 years.

>

> - In breastcancer2 , stmpcrzy@w... wrote:

> > I hate having to use a lubricant\Jeana