Re: Terrible Hanger Doc (LONG- sorry)/Margy

[Guest guest]

Nice reply Margy!!!! FYI: This member states she/he " normally reads

the post on our forum but doesn't normally reply " , well how can

she/he read the posts regularly when they JUST SUBSCRIBED last

night???? Their membership states they just joined 06/23/04. It

doesn't add up to being a legit story, sorry.

This is a parent support group and Margy had every right to vent

about her poor experience. It's great this " new member " supposedly

had a good experience w/that particular clinic & orthotist and that's

great to sing that ortho's praises, HOWEVER, don't you dare to ever

ever ever downplay another parent's misfortunes when they have/had a

less than pleasant experience and seek SUPPORT from a PARENTS SUPPORT

GROUP!!!!! It sounds like someone requested this " parent to a

disabled child " (as she stated several times in her post!) to get on

here & chastise you for sharing your story. Not appreciated, nor

welcome.

Debbie

> This is to respond to your message. I think that some of what you

said was

> fair comment and advice, but other things you've said were

unfounded and

> sounded hostile. I wrote the email I did in order to get support

from other

> parents, and I've been pleased to get a lot of good advice as a

result. What bothers

> me about your email was the strength of your attack on me. The

email that I

> wrote was in response to the experience that I had that day at the

Hanger

> facility. I DID try to talk to him about what has happening. If I

had gotten a

> helpful response from him, I wouldn't have made the posting in the

first place.

>

> Initially, I wrote out a very detailed response to your posting. I

decided

> not to send it. I do not think it would be helpful to this

Orthotist, to you,

> to the others on the forum, or to my son and me to engage in a

long " I said,

> s/he said " battle. Remember, I wrote the email that I did to get

advice and

> help from others. I feel that I accomplished my purpose.

>

> Sincerely,

> Margy

> mom to Tony

>

>

> In a message dated 6/23/2004 8:25:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

> trishlps@y... writes:

>

> > I normally don't take the time to respond to letters I read on

this

> > forum since I am a busy mother and health care worker, but I felt

> > very strongly that I could add some prespective to the concerns

you

> > have expressed. I hope you can listen to what I have to say with

an

> > open, fair mind.

> >

> > Your letter caught my eye because I have had a very positive

> > experience with the Hanger person you have chosen to slander so

> > viciously.

> >

> > I was shocked that you basically plan a major linchmob attack on

> > someone who I found to be very professional, highly skilled and

well

> > experienced with the plagiocephalic patients.

> >

> > Because I am in health care I checked the person out thoroughly

> > before entrusting my child to his care. My child is older now,

but

> > still has disabilities including blindness.

> >

> > There are no complaints filed against this person. In all

fairness,

> > have you tried to solve the problem and speak to this person? You

> > have written awfully strong words that could be very damaging.

Please

> > be careful about how you choose to deal with this situation. In

my

> > experience there are always 2 sides to a story. I experienced

none of

> > what you have mentioned with this person.

> >

> > I sense that you have some fairly significant stressors in your

life

> > and yes, raising a disabled child as a single, young parent is a

> > phenomenal challenge. I've been there. It's tempting to take out

all

> > of your emotions, whether it's guilt, anger, helplessness,

> > frustration, etc on someone who is truly trying to help. I've

done

> > that many many times myself.

> >

> > This person you have slandered sees more children in the practice

> > than any others that I know of--remember, I did my research. And

yes,

> > many of us parents have tried to educate ourselves to the best of

our

> > ability about what we can do to help our children. Many times my

> > emotions took over when my logic should've been working. I've

found I

> > always have a better outcome when I work towards a solution.

Venting

> > is useful, but only when it leads to a positive outcome.

> >

> > The person who offered to help you and suggested he/she would

have a

> > better " personality fit " wants you to be satisfied, but may not

have

> > the expertise and experience that he/she should have in order to

> > remedy your child's problem. I think it's good that you feel

better,

> > but remember to keep prespective and check it out.

> >

> > Ask yourself, what do you want to have happen? Contrary to some

of

> > the replies you have received, correcting a deformity may involve

> > some discomfort. As a health care provider myself, I know that

> > improvement often comes with some discomfort. Skin breakdown,

obvious

> > bruising and redness are telltale signs of a poor fit, but you

> > describe none of those. Giving shots causes discomfort and pain.

> > Drawing blood causes pain. Physical therapy following injury

causes

> > pain. Wearing orthodontia/braces causes alot of pain (I have

personal

> > experience with that as well!), but the outcome is worth it.

> >

> > I would strongly suggest you communicate with the person you have

> > verbally attacked, who, in my experience and opinion, is really

> > trying to help your child. Express your concerns, fears, emotions

and

> > feelings. You're much more likely to get the results you are

looking

> > for. There are no miracle cures for kids with disabilities, but

there

> > are concerned professionals out there who deserve to know what

you

> > are saying.

> >

> > Does this person you have maligned know what you have said to so

many

> > other people on this forum? It seems only fair that something be

said

> > to the person involved first. If you were the health care

provider,

> > wouldn't you want to know about your patient's concerns? Then, if

you

> > don't get some resolution, write a letter. I hope that you have

done

> > that. I would want you to do that for me if I was the person

trying

> > to help your child.

> >

> > Again, I speak as a mother well acquainted with disabilities.

Trust

> > your motherly instincts, but try not to react strictly with

emotions

> > that may not all be related to that particular incident. You

alluded

> > to that fact in some of your e-mails already. Talk to the

physician

> > who referred you to this person and ask questions about how the

> > correction process works. That physician surely would not refer

you

> > to a person without the experience, expertise and trustworthiness

to

> > take care of the problem. I have worked with many physicians,

who, in

> > my experience are quite particular about who they refer their

> > patients to.

> >

> > There are plenty of questionable healthcare professionals out

there.

> > I've worked with them! In this case, however, I don't agree that

> > he/she is a " jerk " and all the other derogatory names that have

been

> > used.

> >

> > Because I feel strongly opposed to all the negativity you have

> > expressed towards this person, I plan to let Hanger know that my

> > child had a good experience and positive outcome with this

person. I

> > also intend on letting the accrediting body know about the

positive

> > outcome as well.

> >

> > In closing, please give some thought to what I've said because I

too

> > want the best for your child as many other mothers have expressed

as

> > well. The support you receive is valuable, but make sure it is

> > focused towards resolution and not purely on vindication and

> > venting.

> >

> > Sincerely,

> > a fellow caring, concerned mom with many hard knocks added to my

belt!

>

>

> Margy

> mommy to my little firecracker

>

> 12.8.02

> eBay.com Seller List: flowerpower83

> -Praying for Baby Levi-