Re: Terrible Hanger Doc (LONG- sorry)--Margy~

[Guest guest]

When I had my bad experience, I blurted out names, address',

locations, etc. I needed everyone to know that was not the place to

have your child treated!

If it helps you any, the 1st place I went to no longer does banding

(too much trouble) I just haven't figured out if it is too much

trouble to band or too much trouble dealing with me.

Keep your head up, you are doing the right thing!

Dustie

--- In Plagiocephaly , " michelle " <MICHELLE@C...>

wrote:

> Hi Margy,

>

> I am sorry that you were made to feel that you could not express

your

> feelings to this group. That is one of the things I love about the

> group. Please do not let that post you received question what you

wrote

> or what you feel. (I never trust an anonymous post.) If your

incident

> would have happened to me I would probably have said worse about

him

> than you did. Regardless if he was just having a bad day, it was

still

> inexcusable. We are all behind you and hope your next experience is

> wonderful.

>

> My thoughts are with you,

>

>

> , 7 mo., Starband 05/11/04, brachy, tort

>

> Re: Re: Terrible Hanger Doc (LONG- sorry)

>

>

> This is to respond to your message. I think that some of what you

said

> was fair comment and advice, but other things you've said were

unfounded

> and sounded hostile. I wrote the email I did in order to get

support

> from other parents, and I've been pleased to get a lot of good

advice as

> a result. What bothers me about your email was the strength of

your

> attack on me. The email that I wrote was in response to the

experience

> that I had that day at the Hanger facility. I DID try to talk to

him

> about what has happening. If I had gotten a helpful response from

him,

> I wouldn't have made the posting in the first place.

>

> Initially, I wrote out a very detailed response to your posting. I

> decided not to send it. I do not think it would be helpful to this

> Orthotist, to you, to the others on the forum, or to my son and me

to

> engage in a long " I said, s/he said " battle. Remember, I wrote the

> email that I did to get advice and help from others. I feel that I

> accomplished my purpose.

>

> Sincerely,

> Margy

> mom to Tony

>

>

> In a message dated 6/23/2004 8:25:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

> trishlps@y... writes:

>

>

>

> I normally don't take the time to respond to letters I read on

this

> forum since I am a busy mother and health care worker, but I felt

> very strongly that I could add some prespective to the concerns

you

> have expressed. I hope you can listen to what I have to say with

an

> open, fair mind.

>

> Your letter caught my eye because I have had a very positive

> experience with the Hanger person you have chosen to slander so

> viciously.

>

> I was shocked that you basically plan a major linchmob attack on

> someone who I found to be very professional, highly skilled and

well

> experienced with the plagiocephalic patients.

>

> Because I am in health care I checked the person out thoroughly

> before entrusting my child to his care. My child is older now, but

> still has disabilities including blindness.

>

> There are no complaints filed against this person. In all

fairness,

> have you tried to solve the problem and speak to this person? You

> have written awfully strong words that could be very damaging.

Please

> be careful about how you choose to deal with this situation. In my

> experience there are always 2 sides to a story. I experienced none

of

> what you have mentioned with this person.

>

> I sense that you have some fairly significant stressors in your

life

> and yes, raising a disabled child as a single, young parent is a

> phenomenal challenge. I've been there. It's tempting to take out

all

> of your emotions, whether it's guilt, anger, helplessness,

> frustration, etc on someone who is truly trying to help. I've done

> that many many times myself.

>

> This person you have slandered sees more children in the practice

> than any others that I know of--remember, I did my research. And

yes,

> many of us parents have tried to educate ourselves to the best of

our

> ability about what we can do to help our children. Many times my

> emotions took over when my logic should've been working. I've

found I

> always have a better outcome when I work towards a solution.

Venting

> is useful, but only when it leads to a positive outcome.

>

> The person who offered to help you and suggested he/she would have

a

> better " personality fit " wants you to be satisfied, but may not

have

> the expertise and experience that he/she should have in order to

> remedy your child's problem. I think it's good that you feel

better,

> but remember to keep prespective and check it out.

>

> Ask yourself, what do you want to have happen? Contrary to some of

> the replies you have received, correcting a deformity may involve

> some discomfort. As a health care provider myself, I know that

> improvement often comes with some discomfort. Skin breakdown,

obvious

> bruising and redness are telltale signs of a poor fit, but you

> describe none of those. Giving shots causes discomfort and pain.

> Drawing blood causes pain. Physical therapy following injury

causes

> pain. Wearing orthodontia/braces causes alot of pain (I have

personal

> experience with that as well!), but the outcome is worth it.

>

> I would strongly suggest you communicate with the person you have

> verbally attacked, who, in my experience and opinion, is really

> trying to help your child. Express your concerns, fears, emotions

and

> feelings. You're much more likely to get the results you are

looking

> for. There are no miracle cures for kids with disabilities, but

there

> are concerned professionals out there who deserve to know what you

> are saying.

>

> Does this person you have maligned know what you have said to so

many

> other people on this forum? It seems only fair that something be

said

> to the person involved first. If you were the health care

provider,

> wouldn't you want to know about your patient's concerns? Then, if

you

> don't get some resolution, write a letter. I hope that you have

done

> that. I would want you to do that for me if I was the person

trying

> to help your child.

>

> Again, I speak as a mother well acquainted with disabilities.

Trust

> your motherly instincts, but try not to react strictly with

emotions

> that may not all be related to that particular incident. You

alluded

> to that fact in some of your e-mails already. Talk to the

physician

> who referred you to this person and ask questions about how the

> correction process works. That physician surely would not refer

you

> to a person without the experience, expertise and trustworthiness

to

> take care of the problem. I have worked with many physicians, who,

in

> my experience are quite particular about who they refer their

> patients to.

>

> There are plenty of questionable healthcare professionals out

there.

> I've worked with them! In this case, however, I don't agree that

> he/she is a " jerk " and all the other derogatory names that have

been

> used.

>

> Because I feel strongly opposed to all the negativity you have

> expressed towards this person, I plan to let Hanger know that my

> child had a good experience and positive outcome with this person.

I

> also intend on letting the accrediting body know about the

positive

> outcome as well.

>

> In closing, please give some thought to what I've said because I

too

> want the best for your child as many other mothers have expressed

as

> well. The support you receive is valuable, but make sure it is

> focused towards resolution and not purely on vindication and

> venting.

>

> Sincerely,

> a fellow caring, concerned mom with many hard knocks added to my

belt!

>

>

>

>

> Margy

> mommy to my little firecracker

>

> 12.8.02

> eBay.com

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> -Praying for Baby Levi-

>

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