Guest guest Posted April 27, 2005 Report Share Posted April 27, 2005 While we're at it, could we define emotional blackmail?? Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 27, 2005 Report Share Posted April 27, 2005 Does anyone know of a good concise concrete definition of verbal abuse? I want to use this with my young adult kids (one is UBP) to define behaviors that aren't acceptable at home. I know I've seen good definitions somewhere, but can't remember where - I've read so much, about BP, codependence, emotional blackmail, etc. If I just say that verbal abuse is unacceptable, we will argue until doomsday about exactly what it is. ( " I am NOT verbally abusive, you b***h! " she screams!) If I list specific behaviors (yelling, name calling, cursing, etc) I will miss one or two. What I had in mind to say is that verbal abuse is not acceptable, follow that with a definition, and then list some specific behaviors like the above but make it clear that it isn't limited to these, any communication that is hurtful to others is included. " Communication that is hurtful " comes close to a definition, but it's too broad - some people get their feelings hurt when the other person is being reasonable (saying no, for example, or not praising them enthusiastically enough, and that's not abuse). " Communication intended to hurt another person " sounds better, but then you can get into discussions about intent. " I didn't mean to hurt your feelings when I called you a b***h, I was just joking around. " We haven't discussed " the rules " at home since the kids were much younger, and some fences need repair. That's my project for next week. I want to make it clear that verbal abuse is not acceptable, and I want to make it clear what I mean by verbal abuse. I don't want them to be able to wiggle out of it, but I also don't want accusations of abuse when someone appropriately expresses an honest opinion or feeling. Any ideas? Physical abuse is so much easier to define, isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 27, 2005 Report Share Posted April 27, 2005 Not consice but very informative. First one must understand the word abuse, then verbal abuse is anything that comes out of someones mouth that is abusive. Problen here is what each individual considres abuse. try emotional abuse as well! http://www.answers.com/abuse & r=67 Verbal Abuse - definition Does anyone know of a good concise concrete definition of verbal abuse? I want to use this with my young adult kids (one is UBP) to define behaviors that aren't acceptable at home. I know I've seen good definitions somewhere, but can't remember where - I've read so much, about BP, codependence, emotional blackmail, etc. If I just say that verbal abuse is unacceptable, we will argue until doomsday about exactly what it is. ( " I am NOT verbally abusive, you b***h! " she screams!) If I list specific behaviors (yelling, name calling, cursing, etc) I will miss one or two. What I had in mind to say is that verbal abuse is not acceptable, follow that with a definition, and then list some specific behaviors like the above but make it clear that it isn't limited to these, any communication that is hurtful to others is included. " Communication that is hurtful " comes close to a definition, but it's too broad - some people get their feelings hurt when the other person is being reasonable (saying no, for example, or not praising them enthusiastically enough, and that's not abuse). " Communication intended to hurt another person " sounds better, but then you can get into discussions about intent. " I didn't mean to hurt your feelings when I called you a b***h, I was just joking around. " We haven't discussed " the rules " at home since the kids were much younger, and some fences need repair. That's my project for next week. I want to make it clear that verbal abuse is not acceptable, and I want to make it clear what I mean by verbal abuse. I don't want them to be able to wiggle out of it, but I also don't want accusations of abuse when someone appropriately expresses an honest opinion or feeling. Any ideas? Physical abuse is so much easier to define, isn't it? People joining this list must read the guidelines and agree to them before posting. Send questions or concerns to WelcomeToOz-owner . " Stop Walking on Eggshells " , a primer for non-BPs, and " Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family Or Yourself " can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For table of contents, go to http://www.BPDCentral.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 27, 2005 Report Share Posted April 27, 2005 Too many definitions but how bout this site where it is related to BPD? http://www.verbalabuse.com/3.shtml Kelley Re: Verbal Abuse - definition While we're at it, could we define emotional blackmail?? Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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