Re: Terrible Hanger Doc (LONG- sorry)/Margy

[Guest guest]

Very well said Debbie and everyone else responding to that post. I

second everything you all said, and certainly couldn't have written

it better myself! I just love our supportive group !

>

> > > This is to respond to your message. I think that some of what

> you

> > said was

> > > fair comment and advice, but other things you've said were

> > unfounded and

> > > sounded hostile. I wrote the email I did in order to get

support

> > from other

> > > parents, and I've been pleased to get a lot of good advice as

a

> > result. What bothers

> > > me about your email was the strength of your attack on me.

The

> > email that I

> > > wrote was in response to the experience that I had that day at

> the

> > Hanger

> > > facility. I DID try to talk to him about what has happening.

If

> I

> > had gotten a

> > > helpful response from him, I wouldn't have made the posting in

> the

> > first place.

> > >

> > > Initially, I wrote out a very detailed response to your

posting.

> I

> > decided

> > > not to send it. I do not think it would be helpful to this

> > Orthotist, to you,

> > > to the others on the forum, or to my son and me to engage in a

> > long " I said,

> > > s/he said " battle. Remember, I wrote the email that I did to

get

> > advice and

> > > help from others. I feel that I accomplished my purpose.

> > >

> > > Sincerely,

> > > Margy

> > > mom to Tony

> > >

> > >

> > > In a message dated 6/23/2004 8:25:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

> > > trishlps@y... writes:

> > >

> > > > I normally don't take the time to respond to letters I read

on

> > this

> > > > forum since I am a busy mother and health care worker, but I

> felt

> > > > very strongly that I could add some prespective to the

concerns

> > you

> > > > have expressed. I hope you can listen to what I have to say

> with

> > an

> > > > open, fair mind.

> > > >

> > > > Your letter caught my eye because I have had a very positive

> > > > experience with the Hanger person you have chosen to slander

so

> > > > viciously.

> > > >

> > > > I was shocked that you basically plan a major linchmob

attack

> on

> > > > someone who I found to be very professional, highly skilled

and

> > well

> > > > experienced with the plagiocephalic patients.

> > > >

> > > > Because I am in health care I checked the person out

thoroughly

> > > > before entrusting my child to his care. My child is older

now,

> > but

> > > > still has disabilities including blindness.

> > > >

> > > > There are no complaints filed against this person. In all

> > fairness,

> > > > have you tried to solve the problem and speak to this

person?

> You

> > > > have written awfully strong words that could be very

damaging.

> > Please

> > > > be careful about how you choose to deal with this situation.

In

> > my

> > > > experience there are always 2 sides to a story. I

experienced

> > none of

> > > > what you have mentioned with this person.

> > > >

> > > > I sense that you have some fairly significant stressors in

your

> > life

> > > > and yes, raising a disabled child as a single, young parent

is

> a

> > > > phenomenal challenge. I've been there. It's tempting to take

> out

> > all

> > > > of your emotions, whether it's guilt, anger, helplessness,

> > > > frustration, etc on someone who is truly trying to help.

I've

> > done

> > > > that many many times myself.

> > > >

> > > > This person you have slandered sees more children in the

> practice

> > > > than any others that I know of--remember, I did my research.

> And

> > yes,

> > > > many of us parents have tried to educate ourselves to the

best

> of

> > our

> > > > ability about what we can do to help our children. Many

times

> my

> > > > emotions took over when my logic should've been working.

I've

> > found I

> > > > always have a better outcome when I work towards a solution.

> > Venting

> > > > is useful, but only when it leads to a positive outcome.

> > > >

> > > > The person who offered to help you and suggested he/she

would

> > have a

> > > > better " personality fit " wants you to be satisfied, but may

not

> > have

> > > > the expertise and experience that he/she should have in

order

> to

> > > > remedy your child's problem. I think it's good that you feel

> > better,

> > > > but remember to keep prespective and check it out.

> > > >

> > > > Ask yourself, what do you want to have happen? Contrary to

some

> > of

> > > > the replies you have received, correcting a deformity may

> involve

> > > > some discomfort. As a health care provider myself, I know

that

> > > > improvement often comes with some discomfort. Skin

breakdown,

> > obvious

> > > > bruising and redness are telltale signs of a poor fit, but

you

> > > > describe none of those. Giving shots causes discomfort and

> pain.

> > > > Drawing blood causes pain. Physical therapy following injury

> > causes

> > > > pain. Wearing orthodontia/braces causes alot of pain (I have

> > personal

> > > > experience with that as well!), but the outcome is worth it.

> > > >

> > > > I would strongly suggest you communicate with the person you

> have

> > > > verbally attacked, who, in my experience and opinion, is

really

> > > > trying to help your child. Express your concerns, fears,

> emotions

> > and

> > > > feelings. You're much more likely to get the results you are

> > looking

> > > > for. There are no miracle cures for kids with disabilities,

but

> > there

> > > > are concerned professionals out there who deserve to know

what

> > you

> > > > are saying.

> > > >

> > > > Does this person you have maligned know what you have said

to

> so

> > many

> > > > other people on this forum? It seems only fair that

something

> be

> > said

> > > > to the person involved first. If you were the health care

> > provider,

> > > > wouldn't you want to know about your patient's concerns?

Then,

> if

> > you

> > > > don't get some resolution, write a letter. I hope that you

have

> > done

> > > > that. I would want you to do that for me if I was the person

> > trying

> > > > to help your child.

> > > >

> > > > Again, I speak as a mother well acquainted with

disabilities.

> > Trust

> > > > your motherly instincts, but try not to react strictly with

> > emotions

> > > > that may not all be related to that particular incident. You

> > alluded

> > > > to that fact in some of your e-mails already. Talk to the

> > physician

> > > > who referred you to this person and ask questions about how

the

> > > > correction process works. That physician surely would not

refer

> > you

> > > > to a person without the experience, expertise and

> trustworthiness

> > to

> > > > take care of the problem. I have worked with many

physicians,

> > who, in

> > > > my experience are quite particular about who they refer

their

> > > > patients to.

> > > >

> > > > There are plenty of questionable healthcare professionals

out

> > there.

> > > > I've worked with them! In this case, however, I don't agree

> that

> > > > he/she is a " jerk " and all the other derogatory names that

have

> > been

> > > > used.

> > > >

> > > > Because I feel strongly opposed to all the negativity you

have

> > > > expressed towards this person, I plan to let Hanger know

that

> my

> > > > child had a good experience and positive outcome with this

> > person. I

> > > > also intend on letting the accrediting body know about the

> > positive

> > > > outcome as well.

> > > >

> > > > In closing, please give some thought to what I've said

because

> I

> > too

> > > > want the best for your child as many other mothers have

> expressed

> > as

> > > > well. The support you receive is valuable, but make sure it

is

> > > > focused towards resolution and not purely on vindication

and

> > > > venting.

> > > >

> > > > Sincerely,

> > > > a fellow caring, concerned mom with many hard knocks added

to

> my

> > belt!

> > >

> > >

> > > Margy

> > > mommy to my little firecracker

> > >

> > > 12.8.02

> > > eBay.com Seller List: flowerpower83

> > > -Praying for Baby Levi-