RE: Re: Eating in restaurants

[Guest guest]

<<Also, I find it embarrassing if I am at a restaurant and I have to order

special food while everyone else just has what is available. Food is

there for enjoyment, and I do not want to torture myself looking at

what I could have had. >>

Lily, more and more when you walk into restuarants they have foods you can

order that are healthier. Such as Bocca burgers or substituting ground beef

with ground turkey. Healthy food CAN be enjoying and fullfilling. I'd rather

go

and eat something that will not effect my number radicaly because when they

are too high i feel lousy and when they are too low i feel lousy! When my

numbers are just right, i feel great. When i eat a salad and a sandwich instead

of fattening and carb filled fettucini alfredo i have much more energy and i

feel good physicaly and mentaly. It's eating the things that i know are bad for

me that make me feel " icky " and then upset with myself for doing it. But you

can eat out and eat good and enjoy the food.....and when you want something

you know is " bad " for you just don't eat as much of it. If i really really

want the alfredo, i'll just have half of the plate! I'll take the rest home for

my hubby to have for lunch the next day!

<<The way I look at it is that I would rather

have a short life and enjoy myself than live to old age and be

miserable. But I am not that fussed about being fat. Other people

probably are, including my doctors, but it does not bother me.>>

Living healthy and taking care of yourself isn't being miserable. I've had

more energy and a better life since being diagnosed in early April! I'm

actualy happier! And i'm happier knowing i'm making positive changes in my life

that will allow me to be with my darling husband for a long healthy time.

Don't think about doctors caring about how short your life is.....if you at

this time can honestly say you don't care, think about those who love you!

Think of your parents or a significant other and how would you feel if they knew

they had a disease and could make SIMPLE changes to be healthy but refused

because they didn't care! Wouldn't you care? Wouldn't that piss you off that

they didn't care enough about themselves or you to stay around for a long time

and be healthy? Wouldn't you hate watching that person be sick and get sicker

because they would rather do whatever they wanted instead of taking care of

themselves?? Do you really want to not take care of yourself and have some of

the long term complications such as blindness, amputations, heart disease and

stroke? Instead of living longer being healthy, active, and happy you would

rather take an even greater risk of these complications and in turn make your

life miserable and then need to count on others to take care of you. In the

long run which will make you happy? Being healthy, active and around your loved

ones in full compacity of yourself or blind in a wheelchair wishing you had

listened to doctors years ago?????

It's not that eating a salad will make life miserable....there is such much

more to life than food! If you base your happiness or miserableness on food

alone than yes there is a problem. Food with diabetes doesn't have to be boring

or bland. My two most favorite things to eat are tacos and stir fry.....and

i haven't given up either. In fact i find i can have a HUGE plateful of stir

fry and my BG usualy stays the same or goes lower!

There is just so much too loose if you don't take care of yourself. I love

myself and my family too much to not take care of myself! My parents ask me

every day how i'm feeling. My co-workers ask, my MIL asks.....people who i

didn't think thought of me all that much i've found care a great deal! And that

is so worth living for. I was happy with myself as a size 18 last year, i was

happy wearing a size 24 wedding dress last September, and i'm happy with

myself as a size 14.......it's great fitting into jeans that are from high

school 9

years ago! Finding my waist again is great! Having boobs that actualy fit

into the bras i own is great. Having my husband say " you've lost weight " is

great. Today walking in the mall i noticed my thighs are almost not touching

when i walk, no more jeans thinning out in the crotch from walking! WooHoo!

Life is good, being diagnosed with diabetes while scary i see as good thing. It

gave me a wake up call! I'm not deprived or miserable.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/22/2003 7:41:32 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

MyFavorIts1@... writes:

> I was happy with myself as a size 18 last year, i was

> happy wearing a size 24 wedding dress last September, and i'm happy with

> myself as a size 14.......it's great fitting into jeans that are from high

> school 9

> years ago! Finding my waist again is great!

Hi ,

You need to put a before and after photo on the diabetes webpage. It would

be an inspiration for others.

hugs

Eunice

[Guest guest]

Wow, Lily, your email got to me. You said: The way I look at it is that I

would rather

have a short life and enjoy myself than live to old age and be miserable.

Whew!!!

I was diagnosed 11 months ago and have given up almost all foods just to

stay off meds. I would rather do that than suffer the

consequences/complications of diabetes. Your idea would be great if you

knew your life span. What about if you live a long life and you are blind,

on dialysis, have severe heart disease and loss of limbs?????? That is what

keeps me on the straight and narrow. The fact that I might end up in that

condition, dependent on my sons, scares me to death. To me, and this is

just my opinion, all those wonderful foods that I loved just are not that

important anymore. Good health and the ability to be mobile are.

Sorry if this sounds tough, but maybe you haven't considered all the

consequences.

Re: Eating in restaurants

Looks like I have a lot to learn. I usually eat more or less what I

want, which is probably my main problem. But personally I do not want

my diabetes to rule my life or dictate what I can and cannot do. I

usually eat (more or less) healthily but I do not restict myself. If

I want chocolate (real not diabtic or sugar free, I don't like the

taste and anyway the artificial sweeteners they use are just as bad

as sugar sometimes) I have some. Not a huge amount, but enough. I

find that if I refuse something or cut it out completely I develop a

craving for it which I did not have before. It is probably my

immature side coming out, always wanting what I cannot have. I have a

massive problem with willpower, not being able to refuse myself

anything. But I am working on this at the moment. I d not always want

chocolate, but if I do I have some, which means I do not end up with

insane cravings wolfing a whole pack of biscuits or something. Also,

I find it embarrassing if I am at a restaurant and I have to order

special food while everyone else just has what is available. Food is

there for enjoyment, and I do not want to torture myself looking at

what I could have had. The way I look at it is that I would rather

have a short life and enjoy myself than live to old age and be

miserable. But I am not that fussed about being fat. Other people

probably are, including my doctors, but it does not bother me. Each

to their own and all that. As long as you are not hurting anyone

else, all lifestyles are fine by me. Sorry for the rambling nature of

this post, but that's just the mood I am in the the moment.

Lily

> Enjoy it

>

> I wished I could eat like that now and again. I'm afraid if I

could I'd gain a lot of pounds. Sounds like you have to now to keep

up with the meds.

>

> I keep wishing and hoping they would come up with a prn med just

for those special occassions we want to eat hearty.

> So much for dreams --

>

>

>

> In the past week since uping my metformin from 850mg to 1,000mg

i've had

> lower numbers and have only once gone over 100! Confuses the

heck

> out of me =)

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/22/2003 7:47:24 PM Eastern Standard Time,

ERWachter@... writes:

> You need to put a before and after photo on the diabetes webpage. It would

>

> be an inspiration for others.

Not too many pics of myself around, but i'll see what i can do this weekend

=)

[Guest guest]

Lily,

My parents favorite line to me was " we did not expect much from

you " so when I made a mistake it just proved that they were correct. I

was able to move 6000 miles when I was 24 and my wife and her family

proved to me that 1, they did expect a lot from me. 2, It is OK to make

mistakes, it does not mean i am dumb, I just needed to learn something.

3, I have a family that relies on me.

You have a surrogate family here on the net. All of us seek nothing less

than great success from you and for you. Yes, life can be tough, and

anyone with diabetes went through hell when they found out. Some of us,

myself included, are lucky to have t2 and be on meds/diet only. I can

only hope that I don't end up needing shots every day. You have no idea

how impressed I am that you can give yourself 4 shots a day!

People you don't know and probably will never meet want you to do well.

I quote from one of my favorite movies " fear is the mind killer "

The following is the text of an e-mail forwarded to me today by a freind

of mine. I had not asked her to send it, it just showed up.

THE MIND PLAYS A VERY POWERFUL ROLE, Dr. Pam Popper, May 19, 2003

All of us in the health business have to learn to deal with very

frustrating behavior of our clients. One of the reasons is not because

what we do doesn't work or what we're recommending isn't the right thing,

it's because that getting well, being normal weight etc. interferes with

their belief system. People's belief system creates their results,

circumstances, and experiences in life. Regardless of what a person

believes he/she will also way find a way to create a consistency between

life and their belief. This principle is based on a concept that the

brain has a powerful goal seeking mechanism it will make whatever an

individual believes actually come true in life or it will at lease make

it seem like it's true. This happens because people will do almost

anything to be right about their belief even when doing so creates

failure, suffering or unhappiness. People arrange to be right by creating

circumstances that confirm what they believe is true. People go about

accomplishing this in essentially 3 ways:

* They attract and are attracted to others and situations that confirm

the truth of what they believe

* They find ways of distorting what they perceive as to make their belief

seem true even if it is not interpreting differently (example, the glass

is half full or half empty)

* Their belief system is so strong they can convince others to go along

with it.

These principles are true whether the matter at hand is finding a life

partner becoming successful at a business, losing weight, or regaining

health. They manifest themselves in statements we have all heard:

* " I never lose weight no matter what I do "

* " I'll be shocked if this works because nothing ever works for me "

* " I did everything you told me to do but it just didn't work for me "

* " Everybody told me not to even bother with this. My situation is so

different, people just don't understand what I've been through "

And the list (of excuses) goes on and on. I know you recognize some of

the people that you are dealing with and you can probably think of 100

more.

Bottom Line:

People will find a way to be right about what they believe and they would

sometimes rather be right than be happy or healthy. And when dealing with

others we always have to start with ourselves. What I would encourage YOU

to do is look at your own life and examine what isn't working because

success in some area would interfere with your own belief system. Once

you've gone through that exercise, you'll have more understanding and

you'll learn to identify that behavior in others so that you won't be so

frustrated and you see that it is the individual's own self defeating

thought patterns that are creating their lack of success, whether the

issue is weight loss, recovery of disease, or building a business.

In addition to having a sound scientific background for the message we

share we have to understand the element of human behavior in health

maintenance and recovery of disease, etc. THE MIND PLAYS A VERY POWERFUL

ROLE.

Have fun

On Fri, 23 May 2003 20:35:52 -0000 " Lily "

writes:

Hi Carole

Well I don't know what I am doing. It is really hard to think @well,

maybe one day I will go blind', it is easier to go for short-term

satisfaction. I am probably avoiding the issue, but my doctors don't

seem to give a crap about me anyway so what is the point? I can't do

anything without their support as I do not feel comfortable changing

my insulin without professional advice. I had one appointment in Nov

last year and I was really into it, tyeing to get healthy and

everything. I made another for March but then they cancelled it

wthout any notice and rescehduled it for September. I can't wait till

then I know i need to change now before anything serious happens but

like I said I can't do that on my own. So I have sort of lost heart.

There is nothing I can do now. I usually put on a brave face and say

things like in my last post but I am really scared. Nobody else seems

to be though. I have tried believe me but I cannot do it on my own

and that is the truth. I need help I am not getting. It is not my

fault. I wake up with high sugar levels (usually something between 12

and 15 mmols/l) and I do not know why this is. My doctor said to

increase my long-acting insulin. This worked fro a short while but

now it is even worse, and plus the extra insulin has made me put on

more weight. I do not know what to do. I am confused. I don't have

children so I don't really have that sort of feeling of people

relying on me. What do you mean 'getting off meds'? Are you type II?

I have to take 4 injections a day for the rest of my life whatever

happens so that is not an option for me. I think you have more

motivation in that respect because (correct me if I am wrong) type II

diabetics who just monitor stuff by diet don't have to take any

medication at all. I also have other issues, and since you seem to be

judging me I think I should tell you. I said in my first post that my

dad died when i was young. He died of a heart attack. It was not his

first. He was told again and again to go into hospital; for surgery

by all his doctors but instead of that he chose to spend christmas

with his father (my grandfather) because he thought it would be the

old man's last christmas. Of course, because life is shit, the old

bugger stuck around for 10 more years while my father died the

following February. Anyway the point is that I have this deep feeling

that he chose his dad over me and didn't like me all that much. I

know it sounds stupid but I cannot shift this idea, however hard I

try. Therefore I hav a problem in liking myself - if he didn't even

like me enough to stick around, then I can't be worth much really,

can I? He was taken to hospital at night, and even now I am so scared

of the dark I cannot sleep with the light off. He died when I was 18

moths old and now I am 21. People say 'oh, well you were only a baby.

You probably did not even notice he was gone'. Well I bloody well did

and it is buried so deeply i can't even get at the feelings to sort

them out. That is why I say the things I do,which seem to have

offended you so much.

Lily

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/23/2003 4:42:49 PM Eastern Standard Time,

smartprofessor@... writes:

> I am probably avoiding the issue, but my doctors don't

> seem to give a crap about me anyway so what is the point? I can't do

> anything without their support as I do not feel comfortable changing

> my insulin without professional advice. I had one appointment in Nov

> last year and I was really into it, tyeing to get healthy and

> everything. I made another for March but then they cancelled it

> wthout any notice and rescehduled it for September. I can't wait till

> then I know i need to change now before anything serious happens but

> like I said I can't do that on my own. So I have sort of lost heart.

> There is nothing I can do now.

>

Sure there is, there ARE other doctors! My area alone has over 50 pages

filled with doctors phone numbers. If you aren't satisfied with the care thats

being provided to you, then change doctors! So that IS something you can do

now!

<<I think you have more motivation in that respect because (correct me if I

am wrong) type II diabetics who just monitor stuff by diet don't have to take

any

medication at all.>>

Not true. Look at my earlier posts today about hypoglycemia. I'm on oral

meds and they have been making me very sick. Not to mention when you start

taking Metformin (a common diabetic medication) or up the dosage you have to

live

with horrible stoamch pains and VERY BAD diarrhea! I live in Niagara Falls,

and that is a good description of what the Diarrhea feels like! Not only that,

but i had a miscarriage this past January BEFORE being diagnosed with type 2,

my doctor thinks my very high sugar levels could have been the cause! Now i

have to wait a year and even then i will most likely have to give myself

insulin!

There are also type 2 who ARE insulin dependent, such as my Grandmother who

must inject herself 4 times a day and at 94 years old it isn't easy for her!

But she always has her chin up and still makes Manicotti from scratch for us =)

[Guest guest]

Dear Lily,

You are making excuses and I am not ganging up on you. You have a justification

for everything. You can blame the doctors, the system and your past, but it is

now your life. You are not a victim anymore. Everyone here on the list cares

that you help yourself and they want to help. Don't push the reply button

automatically in anger, but think about what is being shared by people who share

your pain and history. Your defenses are so well entrenched, you may need to

ask for help in dealing with your very real pain and trauma.

Despite what you may think, others on this list have struggles with pain and

misery as strong as yours. It's about being human. You are not alone.

I daresay there is not a majority of 'stay at home' housewives on this list,

which is not a life of leisure, by the way. Everyone struggles to get by, day

by day. Life is not easy for anyone, it takes work and planning. And as a

newly diagnosed diabetic, I see it will be my life's work.

Remember, you are a valuable twenty dollar bill (or pound note, let's say :-)

and we care that you take care of yourself. Dying young is not the way. I am

much happier than I ever was now in my 40's---it can get better. It should get

better.

Stop saying " I can't " . I hope this is not considered a flame. I have become

very upset with reading your posts, because you are clearly very sad and

unhappy. And ill with diabetes. And you push everyone away who only want to

help you. Please ask for help.

Jay

This may sound

like I am making excuses but I am just trying to explain. A healthy

lifestyle sounds simple in theory, but there are many mundane

obstacles which prevent it in practice.People tend to get ito a

groove and do things the same way because that is what they have

always done, and changing things is hard. People (especially me) are

resistant to change and it is not easy. I am trying but it is so

tiring always fighting for things like the healthcare I am entitled

to or special needs equipment that sometimes I just get weary and

give up. Everything seems to be a battle at the moment which i am

fighting alone.

Lily

[Guest guest]

I agree with your last post, Elva. As has been stated so many times before,

you can only help those that want help. Like many others on this list, I

have been very bothered by Lily's posts. I want to reach out and help her.

I even wrote her privately in hopes of reaching her heart. I think she is

reaching out to us also.

However, as someone else said, there are a lot of excuses. Been there and

done that. Let's all hope that one of these messages will reach her heart

and she will do what is best for her.

Carole

Re: Eating in restaurants

We are free to disagree here I hope. I was told by the diabetic

educator at the hospital that pizza was the worst thing for us. I

did say if you can opt for a vegetarian pizza with low fat cheese

and not eat the crust then you might get away with it, but also,

where's the fun in that? You say your mom eats a bit of crust,

that's fine if it works for her, my point is it's not a good choice

for most of us based on fat content and carbs, plus there is always

sugar in a prepared tomato sauce. I too have had a burger with just

half a bun in order to keep the carbs down. Yes we all have to

think about what we are doing and try different things to see what

works and what doesnt as we are all different. Some people want to

eat what they like and to hell with any suggestions from anyone that

they may be doing a disservice to themselves, and in that case we

cant help those who dont care to listen. Some do listen, and start

to think and investigate how they are taking care of themselves, or

not, and maybe make some adjustments. If they dont want to change

anything then what can we do?

Elva

> Elva,

>

> Telling Lily that going to Pizza Hut or MCD's is not the right

> thing to do for her is only going to make her feel worse.

>

> Also, my mom eats pizza when we go to Pizza Hut or even if we

> have it delivered here. What she does is to eat primarily the

> topping, and if she wants some of the crust she gets the part of

> it that's the thinnest if we get deep dish, otherwise we get the

> thin crust. I learned about that from this list and that's what

> we do so that she doesn't feel like she can't have pizza at all.

>

> Sometimes we have Chinese food but we try to stick to what is

> called Mongolian BBQ. She also eats hamburgers from other fast

> food places such as MCD's but instead of eating both slices of

> bread that come with the sandwich she does just one half of it.

>

> Also, the reason for mentioning this is that not everyone has

> the time to sit and cook. Also, not everyone feels like

> cooking.

>

> Every Diabetic is different and they have to find what works

> right for them whether it's eating out a lot or being able to

> find the time to cook, and make things such as salad.

[Guest guest]

I'm a little like both women. Your mom and Elva

I've noticed over the years that a lot of urban dwellers consider folks who live

in rural areas as housewives who hang their wash out everyday in the breeze and

chat over the fence and water their flowers. And if you have an accent God

help you its hard to live down..

I'm not telling how I make a few dollars on the side to cover expenses

disability refuses to pay, but I eat pizza - about once every month. And same

with a ff burger and I do the same thing - take off the top bun. I even have 4

french fries. I also buy the bagged or big bowls of ready made salad.

I've found low carb things I can nuke. The meat entrees by hormel. Hubbby will

eat them. Chicken and the beef tips. I've been known to stuff my entire

mouth with potato chips. But it is just one mouthful.

I have taco salad. Taco chicken salad. Its fast food but its never bothered my

bs. I don't eat the chips.

I really think if we look about there are a lot of choices for diabetics in

eating in or out. Whether we enjoy cooking or not.

I work at home part time. You'd think I would have plenty of time to cook !

I can't tell you how many pans have been pitched in the backyard completely

burned to the point of no return. Let alone the food. I forget all about it

when I'm in a conference call until I see smoke. And smell that smell. And

well, there went supper -- again.

I bake lc brownies and cookies once a month and stash in freezer and yes I have

overcooked them also and had to start over.

There's those already cooked tyson chicken and beef strips. Stuff into low

carb tortilla for a wrap .

I know for a fact that you can have groceries delivered in London. My best

friend lives there. And he says he would rather lick the pavement that eat at

McD's which btw ain't cheap over there. I don't think they have .99cent whopper

days. He eats out and its true he is paid very well for being a young

programmer but at the same time I've waited for him to finish roasting a chicken

in his tiny kitchen with no table. His dishwasher is half size. Imagine that.

Its kinda cute the way they pack it in over there.

He's very bright, health conscious, young, and understands our disease very

well. He says that labels are different over there but who knows I haven't

seen a brit food label. I know he commutes by tube some days when he must go

to the office for meetings and its a long commute. I wouldn't brave Heathrow

airport for anyone but as they say : I'm not him and he's not me.

We all have our demons. We all get lonely and depressed. Nobody gets out of

this disease or this life alive.

Lets not waste a minute of what we have --

Elva,

Telling Lily that going to Pizza Hut or MCD's is not the right

thing to do for her is only going to make her feel worse.

[Guest guest]

Cheers! Well said!!

Jay in Maine

We all just need time to get over it. I

know I probably sound really harsh, but quite frankly when you think

of the awful things that will happen if she doesn't take care, it

makes me want to slap her.

Loose

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/27/2003 9:56:07 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

brucewilson@... writes:

> Many of us can delay taking medicine for a long time by strict attention to

> diet, but most of us have to start taking medicine sooner or later.

That is exactly what my Endo said to me. It is just a matter of time for some

of us.

I am not there yet either, but I think that day is coming. Sometimes it

doesn't matter what i eat or do, my BG's are up.

Betty

PS If your are expecting an answer from me, and you don't get it, please

email me back with a friendly reminder.

" To err is human; to forgive, divine. "

[Guest guest]

Thgat is not always true. Many of us can delay taking medicine for a long time

by strict attention to diet, but most of us have to start taking medicine sooner

or later. (So far I don't have to.)

Does NHS in the UK include mental health? If so, have you looked into seeing a

psycholgist/psychiatrist/c.s.w.? It seems to me that you have a lot of 'issues'

aside from your diabetes, which are complicating your dealing with the latter.

Re: Eating in restaurants

Hi Carole

I think you have more

motivation in that respect because (correct me if I am wrong) type II

diabetics who just monitor stuff by diet don't have to take any

medication at all.