Re: Fw: [The_Wolfs_Lodge] funny

[Guest guest]

Very cute and quite accurate too!

Weezie

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> [The_Wolfs_Lodge] funny

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> Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary......

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> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

> 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

> 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

> 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

> 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

> 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

> 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

> 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

> 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

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> Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..

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> Day 983 of my captivity...

> My captors continue to taunt me with bi zarre little dangling

objects.

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> They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I

are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt

for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in

order to keep up my strength.

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> The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an

attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

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> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at

their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,

since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they

merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter'

I am.

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> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I

was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that

my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what

this means and how to use it to my advantage.

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> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of

my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must

try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

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> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and

snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly

released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is

obviously retarded.

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> The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating

with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every

move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an

elevated cell, so he is safe.

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> For now................

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> Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Plant roses and lavender for

luck. Fall in love whenever you can.

> ~ Practical Magic

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