reporting emotional abuse

[Guest guest]

you may have seen my post below in " stalking bp-ers " because people started

talking about mandatory reporting laws. well, I called my state's CPS hotline,

just to talk about it, and the lady was very very helpful. I didn't actually

report yet, but they did give some reassurance that I made it through alright,

hopefully my siblings will, too. but that's just scary, since I don't have any

contact with them anymore. My parents won't allow it. It was troubling to her,

too, that my siblings are homeschooled, and so young that my mom always goes

with them when they go to the doctor. my mom...stupid dish-rag stuff!

Sorry, I'm still crying. I don't know why I started crying, but maybe the fact

that I can't help my sibligns is a huge factor...they're so young! There's no

way for them to talk with me or go to a counselor at school...because they

homeschool!

Now, don't get me wrong, i love homeschooling and there are many many great

families i know who are successfully homeschooling or homeschooled. But with a

BPD father who works from home, and a mom who won't stand up to him, and their

oldest brother (younger than me, still lives at home) is definitely taking after

dad and adding another layer of control...

another troubling factor is that my dad has a phd in education. So he knows all

about the process of abuse reporting and stuff...he just can't see that he's

being emotionally abusive! my mom recognizes something's not quite right because

she characterized it as dr jeckyll and mr hyde...her attempt to get me to excuse

dad's behavior!

the lady at the CPS hotline said I could think about it and call back if I

decide to report it, and they can see if there's something they can do about it.

Which brings me to my question...what can CPS do about BPD parents? The parent

would just twist around the CPS investigator's reality, charm the pants off of

them and get them to think that oh, what a perfect family! Ideally, I would like

them to mandate that my dad gets therapy tailored to BPD (whatever it's called)

and possibly let the kids go to public school, or at least mandate that I can

keep in touch with them!

I'm just so afraid of upsetting the balance of power. Right now my grammy

(family friend, but like a grandma) is still in touch with them and so are some

of my other relatives...except my other blood relatives see nothing wrong

(except for two of my cousins). Only my non-blood family " relatives " see what's

wrong.

I'm afraid that if I report and upset the balance of power, things might get

worse for my siblings. Might get better, but also worse. I'm also afraid it

might upset the balance of power and my parents would forbid my other relatives,

blood/non-blood, from contacting them anymore, further isolating my siblings.

I'm also afraid that if it's reported, and they investigate it, dad will know

it's me and either write nasty letters, get a lawyer, or come to my duplex and

yell at me threatenlingly (oh, I could just imagine what he'd be like after CPS

leaves).

Has anyone been in this siatuation before? I could use some advice or hear from

others' experience, please....

I'm going to try to go back to my therapist at my university. Stopped going

because I got busy, but this needs professional help. I keep thinking I'm

strong, but I'm not! I graduate in May, and I'm afraid it will be expensive to

go to the counselor after that, so what if I need more help?

sorry, when I'm crying I get kinda rambling and emotional...

~holly