Guest guest Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 , I've gotten knowledge from several books including " Eggshells " and the " Eggshell Workbook " , from various websites, and from my therapist. I have 52 years of experience in dealing the bpd (my mom and my daughter). What I need most when my crazy addicted daughter is riping my heart out, is not what I could do better...but rather just a listening ear, understanding and comfort. I get that from reading here about what others are going through and how they cope, but most of all I get better by offering comfort and support to others. La Nell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 Fine, La Nell, no one is stopping you from being just that to Jean. Re: Re: support , I've gotten knowledge from several books including " Eggshells " and the " Eggshell Workbook " , from various websites, and from my therapist. I have 52 years of experience in dealing the bpd (my mom and my daughter). What I need most when my crazy addicted daughter is riping my heart out, is not what I could do better...but rather just a listening ear, understanding and comfort. I get that from reading here about what others are going through and how they cope, but most of all I get better by offering comfort and support to others. La Nell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 What I have gotten from Eggshells and the other books I have read over and over again is that I am not to blame for the BPD, I did not cause it, I cannot fix it, and that I can only take care of myself and I am only to blame for my own faults and problems. Everyone needs someone to listen! Especially when we are hurting. I think encouraging one to seek therapy to help themselves is a very good thing to do, not negative in the least. It IS about what you can do better, what you can do better for yourself, what you can improve to keep yourself sane and mentally healthy while dealing with all this " Crap " . I have not been to a therpist yet that said go ahead shout and rage like your BP and get it out. Nor have I read that in Eggshells or any other book on BPD or any other mental illness. Detachment is a priority in a BPD relationship of any kind, and doing that is a positive step for ourselves. If we don't preserve ourselves we end up just as mentally ill as our BPD's. Once you learn to take care of yourself mentally and establish boundaries of health for yourself and detach from the BPD behavior your not going to be getting your heart ripped out. Oh yes it is still painful to watch your child destroy themselves, but you don't quit loving because of it. In the same sense you cant stop loving yourself either! If you stop loving yourself, and devote yourself to only BPD behaviors you get lost along the way Hugs kelley Re: Re: support > > > > , > I've gotten knowledge from several books including " Eggshells " and the > " Eggshell Workbook " , from various websites, and from my therapist. I have > 52 years of experience in dealing the bpd (my mom and my daughter). What I > need most when my crazy addicted daughter is riping my heart out, is not > what I could do better...but rather just a listening ear, understanding and > comfort. I get that from reading here about what others are going through > and how they cope, but most of all I get better by offering comfort and > support to others. > La Nell > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] > > > > > People joining this list must read the guidelines and agree to them before > posting. Send questions or concerns to WelcomeToOz-owner . > " Stop Walking on Eggshells " , a primer for non-BPs, and " Hope for Parents: > Helping Your Borderline Son or Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family Or > Yourself " can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For table of > contents, go to http://www.BPDCentral.com > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Kelley-- Very true words! If we ever hope to have something to offer to someone else, we must FIRST take care of ourselves. And, I think we'll find ourselves much happier for it. Re: Re: support What I have gotten from Eggshells and the other books I have read over and over again is that I am not to blame for the BPD, I did not cause it, I cannot fix it, and that I can only take care of myself and I am only to blame for my own faults and problems. Everyone needs someone to listen! Especially when we are hurting. I think encouraging one to seek therapy to help themselves is a very good thing to do, not negative in the least. It IS about what you can do better, what you can do better for yourself, what you can improve to keep yourself sane and mentally healthy while dealing with all this " Crap " . I have not been to a therpist yet that said go ahead shout and rage like your BP and get it out. Nor have I read that in Eggshells or any other book on BPD or any other mental illness. Detachment is a priority in a BPD relationship of any kind, and doing that is a positive step for ourselves. If we don't preserve ourselves we end up just as mentally ill as our BPD's. Once you learn to take care of yourself mentally and establish boundaries of health for yourself and detach from the BPD behavior your not going to be getting your heart ripped out. Oh yes it is still painful to watch your child destroy themselves, but you don't quit loving because of it. In the same sense you cant stop loving yourself either! If you stop loving yourself, and devote yourself to only BPD behaviors you get lost along the way Hugs kelley -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.8.0 - Release Date: 3/21/2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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