Guest guest Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 The difficult doctor does what he does in order to satisfy some inner need or conflict. It may be that he feels insecure and is building himself up in his own mind by berating those around him. This is not a happy doc. He has problems with anger, interpersonal communications, and probably doesn't like himself very much. In short, he exhibits some aspects of several personality disorders. He's a little narcissistic, a little antisocial, a little obsessive-compulsive, and by all means passive aggressive. In " Notes from Underground " Dostoevsky wrote: " I am a spiteful man...I have been living like that for a long time now--twenty years. I am forty now. I used to be in the civil service, but no longer am. I was a spiteful official. I was rude and took pleasure in being so.... When petitioners would come to my desk for information I used to grind my teeth at them and feel intense enjoyment when I succeeded in distressing someone. I was almost always successful. " ---from Frisch, Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing, Delmar Publishers, 1998, p. 376. This person is difficult to deal with because his behavior, while causing difficulties to both himself and others, does not lead to clinically significant distress or impairment. He would furiously deny that he has a personality disorder if confronted, and he definitely wouldn't seek any sort of help. As Dostoevsky pointed out, this person enjoys acting out in this way. And when we react to his behavior, we're doing exactly what he wants us to do. We're rewarding him and reinforcing his behavior. So what's the best way to handle the situation? Don't reward him. Develop a flat affect when around him. Don't react in any way to his acting out. If he becomes abusive, simply ignore him until you can leave the room. Or you can adopt an attitude that's just the opposite of what he's expecting. Be bright and smiling and ask him if there's a way that you can help him. But never react with anger or show that you're upset. If you react with anger and become upset, you're in fact allowing HIM to control YOUR behavior, which is exactly what he wants to do. Why should we allow others to control us? All of us have " hot buttons " that can cause us to lose control when they are pushed, but through thoughtful analysis and planning, we can learn to turn those buttons off. Do that with this guy. If you start to lose it, walk away. Never let him see you sweat. Good luck. Gene G. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 In a message dated 9/23/2003 12:20:26 AM Central Standard Time, leneveu3@... writes: Here is a question. Has anyone pulled this ER Doc to the side and pointed out is actions? I have been treated rudely by a doctor. When I called him aside, he apologized, and after that treated me with respect. I was lucky, I had the support of my chief, and officers. It never hurts to nicely point out his behavior to them and give them a chance to apologize. I happen to be personally acquainted with this ER Doctor. I just give it right back to him and he doesn't bother me anymore. He even laughs it off. He can be very rude in front of everyone and you just have to give it back to him. Let him know that you know your business and he will respect you for that. Andy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 What a fantastic reply Gene!!!! Joby Berkley EMT-P wegandy1938@... wrote: The difficult doctor does what he does in order to satisfy some inner need or conflict. It may be that he feels insecure and is building himself up in his own mind by berating those around him. This is not a happy doc. He has problems with anger, interpersonal communications, and probably doesn't like himself very much. In short, he exhibits some aspects of several personality disorders. He's a little narcissistic, a little antisocial, a little obsessive-compulsive, and by all means passive aggressive. In " Notes from Underground " Dostoevsky wrote: " I am a spiteful man...I have been living like that for a long time now--twenty years. I am forty now. I used to be in the civil service, but no longer am. I was a spiteful official. I was rude and took pleasure in being so.... When petitioners would come to my desk for information I used to grind my teeth at them and feel intense enjoyment when I succeeded in distressing someone. I was almost always successful. " ---from Frisch, Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing, Delmar Publishers, 1998, p. 376. This person is difficult to deal with because his behavior, while causing difficulties to both himself and others, does not lead to clinically significant distress or impairment. He would furiously deny that he has a personality disorder if confronted, and he definitely wouldn't seek any sort of help. As Dostoevsky pointed out, this person enjoys acting out in this way. And when we react to his behavior, we're doing exactly what he wants us to do. We're rewarding him and reinforcing his behavior. So what's the best way to handle the situation? Don't reward him. Develop a flat affect when around him. Don't react in any way to his acting out. If he becomes abusive, simply ignore him until you can leave the room. Or you can adopt an attitude that's just the opposite of what he's expecting. Be bright and smiling and ask him if there's a way that you can help him. But never react with anger or show that you're upset. If you react with anger and become upset, you're in fact allowing HIM to control YOUR behavior, which is exactly what he wants to do. Why should we allow others to control us? All of us have " hot buttons " that can cause us to lose control when they are pushed, but through thoughtful analysis and planning, we can learn to turn those buttons off. Do that with this guy. If you start to lose it, walk away. Never let him see you sweat. Good luck. Gene G. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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