Re: Starting Kindergarten

July 26, 2010

Marcia- Thanks for posting this. I know it was for Cam but it helps me too because I have serious reservations about starting my son in kindergarten this year too. My gut just says dont do it but he does really want to go to school. My only concern about not sending him is the social aspect. I have seen your testimony on here before and watched video of on You Tube,thanks for being the encouragement those of us just getting started in the race so greatly need. Melinda

To: mb12 valtrex Sent: Sun, July 25, 2010 1:48:22 PMSubject: Starting Kindergarten

Cam,

My son is now 21 in college and recovered. We used medical, behavioral and educational interventions to help him. We didnâ€™t start him in Kindergarten until he was almost 6. In Minnesota where we lived at the time they had to be 5 by September 1st in order to start Kindergarten. They were started much later than in California where we live now. I think starting older would be a great idea for all kids even those not on the spectrum. Starting them too early often means they are not able to sit still and attend not to mention ready both socially and academically. Isnâ€™t it better for them to experience success rather than failure?

Having said that, my son was not ready at 6 either. was definitely behind the other kids. He lacked speech (was in the 3 percentile), couldnâ€™t follow directions and had trouble being quiet and attentive in circle time. We didnâ€™t want to make appear different or interrupt his school day by pulling him out for services. Extra services like speech were done in our home. Adaptive P.E. and socialization groups were done before school, during the lunch period or after school at our home. This had not been done by the district before.

But with an aide and a communication notebook we were kept informed of what he still needed to learn so we could incorporate it into our home program. The aide was introduced as an aide for all the kids even though was the reason she was there. We didnâ€™t want him to become too dependent on her and wanted her to be of help to everyone. She wrote us notes daily in the communication notebook.

Although the communication book was an important tool for us to know what still needed to learn, it also was a great source of frustration. There were so many things he still needed to learn and sometimes on paper the words written by the aide seemed so negative. Couldnâ€™t they say one nice thing about my kid? I worried that the teachers hated my kid because he took so much more time than the other children.

This fear was fueled after a conversation with the Kindergarten teacher where she admonished me for calling too much and taking too much of her time. Her words were something like, you know I have thirty nine other parents with both morning and afternoon Kindergarten and I need to talk to them too. You are not the only parent I have. As a teacher myself, I never would have talked to a parent that way, even if they were a big pain in the ass like me. Although I was taken aback, I held my tongue, not something Iâ€™m known for. But I knew if I had a confrontation with her, it was not in â€™s best interest. Iâ€™m not sure she believed could get better and we both didnâ€™t like each other much.

At that time I didnâ€™t believe he could ever be â€œnormalâ€ either. But it didnâ€™t matter as long as she was doing what was right for . Sometime later when was in fourth grade, a classmate of his won a miniature golfing trip at a school carnival. The golf excursion was with â€™s Kindergarten teacher and the boy who won it picked as the friend he wanted to go with him. After, the Kindergarten teacher called me at home and told me what a wonderful kid had become. According to her, he had the best manners and was a delight. I think this was her way of apologizing for all the crap she gave me when was in her class. But it all didnâ€™t really matter, because she was good for in Kindergarten and gave him the structure and discipline he needed at the time. Donâ€™t be in

a hurry to start school, because teaching them one on one is often much better for our kind of kids. Wait a year before enrolling him in Kindergarten and use that time to help catch him up.Hope that helps,Marcia

>Hi all. Haven't posted in a while. Hope someone can help me. We are trying to >decide whether to start public kindergarten in the fall or homeschool for a year >and start kindergarten next year. I am getting mixed advice about whether it is >better to do kindergarten twice, or to just wait. He just turned five last >week, so he is kind of on the young side. He tests average in some areas, but >tests around 3.5 years (about 1.5 years behind) in others. I am worried that he >is just not ready, but I know he wants to go and needs the social interaction. >He is also severely dyslexic/dyspraxic and I am concerned he will get further >behind if it is not addressed in school. So if I homeschool, I need >recommendations on homeschool programs that address dyslexia. Any advice or >experience would be

appreciated.> >Thanks so much. > >Cam

July 26, 2010

I have a different perspective on this. My son has been with the SD since 3. For him, this has been one of the absolute best things for him. Not every year was great in terms of teachers, but the experience overall played a huge role in getting my son into gen ed. kindergarten. Plus, he got valuable services that many parents unknowingly sign away when they choose to wait for school. A lot of the problems and fears that keep parents holding them back are actually addressed in those services. Kids that can't sit still - OT helps greatly. Sensory issues - OT. No language - speech therapy. No pragmatic languag - speech therapy. The list goes on.My son is young. He is an October birthday and here the cut off isn't until Dec so he started SDC kindergarten at 4. No, he couldn't sit still, no he couldn't attend very well, following instructions...puh-lease! *But* because he spent so much time in school he learned what was expected of him. He learned the routine. He learned the academics, too. He made friends. School helped him in many things that I can't do at home. I don't have a squared carpet at home to teach him what circle time is and what he's supposed to do. My choice was to let him go to SDC kindergarten. I can't teach him how to behave in a class full of kids where some are disruptive and others are angels. He matured and learned better the expectations since they can be so much greater than preschool. By the time that year was over, he was ready for gen ed and he was placed in gen ed kindergarten. Because I *kept* him in school, his gen ed kindergarten year was *exceptional.* No, he still can't sit still for long. ADHD is still an issue. But these are going to be common in our kids and may take a long time to get over, if at all. But that's what the aide was for. She was a shared aide and she kept him on task. Many times he looked like he wasn't paying attention but all of sudden, you realized he was. He may have been staring out the window but his hand shoots up when the teacher asks a question. And sometimes he forgets the question and has to be reminded why he shot his hand up and then think about the answer again. But it's all there. He'll be 7 in first grade now and I don't regret putting him in school early and I don't regret repeating kindergarten. Just because you put your child there doesn't mean he can't repeat it. It's valuable time they typically need more of. Every bit of structure helps. Every bit of expecting more than what others think they are capable of helps. Expecting your child to be able to accomplish what a typical kid can accomplish helps. Yes, some typicals benefit from an extra year of waiting and honestly, if my son were typical I probably would have. But he isn't. This past year, he wasn't even the "worst" kid in the class with his issues. There were NT kids in there that were sooo much further behind *and* unable to sit still or pay attention or attend. You would've expected my son to be the worst with these issues, but it's common in *all* kids. Some kids are more mature than others. Yes, they can all benefit from more time. But our system isn't set up that way. There are so many other benefits to sending your child to school. Social aspects, peer role models, structure, higher expectations, learning rules, following rules, and not to mention the other services of OT and speech.I've seen so many parents give up services in favor of more time and their kids aren't any better off for it because they don't provide these things at home on their own. The next year often becomes harder than if they had gone the other way because they are that much further behind. If you do something like this, don't let go of the services. Don't let go on preparing them for the class they'll enter in favor of "being a kid." They're going to be a kid and play like they do no matter what. They play at school, too. I've also seen parents hold their asd kids back and keep them in a completely inappropriate preschool where it's all child-led and a free for all. That extra year in that environment isn't going to change the current reasons for keeping the child out of school in the first place, in my experience. A self-directed kid is going to remain a self-directed kid until forced not to be. Don't get me wrong, I love child led - but our kids typically need more than that. Even in Floortime there's structure and purpose. But many of these pre-schools don't have that much of either.Anyway, that's my take. I think it's awesome when any parent is able to homeschool. And awesome when kids do well having been held home for another year. I've just seen a lot of people have more struggles, too. So consider the reasons for holding your child back, and the pros and cons. Not just academics and if they can sit still. What *else* are they either gaining or losing by what you choose and how will they affect him and compare them so you know you are really making an informed choice. Be honest with yourself on what you can accomplish. You may find that it's not as easy as you think. Of course, you may find that it's the best choice, too. Once you can say you've weighed all the options then it's easier to make the choice that's right for you and your family.

Cheryl~http://www.gryffins-tail.blogspot.com~@midian42~

I think starting older would be a great idea for all kids

even those not on the spectrum. Starting them too early often means they

are not able to sit still and attend not to mention ready both socially and academically.

Isn’t it better for them to experience success rather than failure? Having said that, my son was not ready at 6 either.

was definitely behind the other kids. He lacked speech (was in the 3

percentile), couldn’t follow directions and had trouble being quiet and

attentive in circle time. We didn’t want to make appear

different or interrupt his school day by pulling him out for services.

Extra services like speech were done in our home. Adaptive P.E. and

socialization groups were done before school, during the lunch period or after

school at our home. This had not been done by the district before. But with an aide and a communication notebook we were kept

informed of what he still needed to learn so we could incorporate it into our

home program. The aide was introduced as an aide for all the kids even though

was the reason she was there. We didn’t want him to become too

dependent on her and wanted her to be of help to everyone. She wrote us

notes daily in the communication notebook.

July 26, 2010

Cam, our son turned 7 a few weeks ago and has recovered from autism using body

ecology diet, biomed, ABA to get the dietary habits, Son-Rise, and Brain

Balance. We choose to keep him home and run a full time son-rise program last

year for his kindergarten year. Our feeling was that rather than hope the

system was ready for him...we wanted him to be fully ready for the system. We

didn't want him mainstreamable and coping in the classroom. We wanted him

fully attending and participating with no assistance. Not

indistinguishable....but typical. No one thing brought us to recovery over the

6 yrs of work.

But Son-Rise was a lifesavor and helped me to figure out how to bring it all

together. Even after they loose autism, they often still have attention or

hyper issues or learning issues...we found brain balance to correct this as they

stimulate the weak areas of the brain.

Running Son-Rise was hard....but well worth it.

Our son will return to a Montessori 1st grade in January and we may choose to

send him to public school for second. We'll see....we not due to his abilities

at this point, but rather our beliefs about diet and many other issues in the

mainstream would keep us out of public at this point for both our children.

Many think Montessori is a free for all....far from it. Ours is HIGHLY

structured. I'm a public school teacher and I'm very pleased with our

Montessori. I think the current public system needs to change. yes our kids

need lots of work and are challenging....but the system isn't functioning

properly either. Not easy answers.

All the best.....follow your gut...you won't go wrong!

>

> Cam,

>

> My son is now 21 in college and recovered. We used medical, behavioral and

> educational interventions to help him. We didn't start him in Kindergarten

> until he was almost 6. In Minnesota where we lived at the time they had to

> be 5 by September 1st in order to start Kindergarten. They were started

> much later than in California where we live now. I think starting older

> would be a great idea for all kids even those not on the spectrum. Starting

> them too early often means they are not able to sit still and attend not to

> mention ready both socially and academically. Isn't it better for them to

> experience success rather than failure?

>

> Having said that, my son was not ready at 6 either. was definitely

> behind the other kids. He lacked speech (was in the 3 percentile), couldn't

> follow directions and had trouble being quiet and attentive in circle time.

> We didn't want to make appear different or interrupt his school day by

> pulling him out for services. Extra services like speech were done in our

> home. Adaptive P.E. and socialization groups were done before school, during

> the lunch period or after school at our home. This had not been done by the

> district before.

>

> But with an aide and a communication notebook we were kept informed of what

> he still needed to learn so we could incorporate it into our home program.

> The aide was introduced as an aide for all the kids even though was the

> reason she was there. We didn't want him to become too dependent on her and

> wanted her to be of help to everyone. She wrote us notes daily in the

> communication notebook.

>

> Although the communication book was an important tool for us to know what

> still needed to learn, it also was a great source of frustration.

> There were so many things he still needed to learn and sometimes on paper

> the words written by the aide seemed so negative. Couldn't they say one

> nice thing about my kid? I worried that the teachers hated my kid because

> he took so much more time than the other children.

>

> This fear was fueled after a conversation with the Kindergarten teacher

> where she admonished me for calling too much and taking too much of her

> time. Her words were something like, you know I have thirty nine other

> parents with both morning and afternoon Kindergarten and I need to talk to

> them too. You are not the only parent I have. As a teacher myself, I never

> would have talked to a parent that way, even if they were a big pain in the

> ass like me. Although I was taken aback, I held my tongue, not something

> I'm known for. But I knew if I had a confrontation with her, it was not in

> 's best interest.

>

> I'm not sure she believed could get better and we both didn't like each

> other much. At that time I didn't believe he could ever be " normal " either.

> But it didn't matter as long as she was doing what was right for .

>

> Sometime later when was in fourth grade, a classmate of his won a

> miniature golfing trip at a school carnival. The golf excursion was with

> 's Kindergarten teacher and the boy who won it picked as the friend

> he wanted to go with him. After, the Kindergarten teacher called me at home

> and told me what a wonderful kid had become. According to her, he had

> the best manners and was a delight. I think this was her way of apologizing

> for all the crap she gave me when was in her class. But it all didn't

> really matter, because she was good for in Kindergarten and gave him

> the structure and discipline he needed at the time. Don't be in a hurry to

> start school, because teaching them one on one is often much better for our

> kind of kids. Wait a year before enrolling him in Kindergarten and use that

> time to help catch him up.

> Hope that helps,

> Marcia

>

> >Hi all. Haven't posted in a while. Hope someone can help me. We are

> trying to

> >decide whether to start public kindergarten in the fall or homeschool for a

> year

> >and start kindergarten next year. I am getting mixed advice about whether

> it is

> >better to do kindergarten twice, or to just wait. He just turned five last

>

> >week, so he is kind of on the young side. He tests average in some areas,

> but

> >tests around 3.5 years (about 1.5 years behind) in others. I am worried

> that he

> >is just not ready, but I know he wants to go and needs the social

> interaction.

> >He is also severely dyslexic/dyspraxic and I am concerned he will get

> further

> >behind if it is not addressed in school. So if I homeschool, I need

> >recommendations on homeschool programs that address dyslexia. Any advice

> or

> >experience would be appreciated.

> >

> >Thanks so much.

> >

> >Cam

>

July 26, 2010

Melinda, if your gut is telling you not to do it, don't. When they are young like this, a year can make all the difference. There's plenty of ways to get in social time w/o sending him to school before he's ready. If I knew then what I knew now, I would have waited a year with my 8 year old. If it's affordable, you could consider pre school a couple of mornings a week to satisfy his curiosity.From: Melinda McCauley

To: mb12 valtrex Sent: Mon, July 26, 2010 9:58:35 AMSubject: Re: Starting Kindergarten

Marcia- Thanks for posting this. I know it was for Cam but it helps me too because I have serious reservations about starting my son in kindergarten this year too. My gut just says dont do it but he does really want to go to school. My only concern about not sending him is the social aspect. I have seen your testimony on here before and watched video of on You Tube,thanks for being the encouragement those of us just getting started in the race so greatly need. Melinda

From: and Marcia Hinds <hindssiteverizon (DOT) net>To: mb12 valtrex@ yahoogroups. comSent: Sun, July 25, 2010 1:48:22 PMSubject: Starting Kindergarten

Cam,

My son is now 21 in college and recovered. We used medical, behavioral and educational interventions to help him. We didnâ€™t start him in Kindergarten until he was almost 6. In Minnesota where we lived at the time they had to be 5 by September 1st in order to start Kindergarten. They were started much later than in California where we live now. I think starting older would be a great idea for all kids even those not on the spectrum. Starting them too early often means they are not able to sit still and attend not to mention ready both socially and academically. Isnâ€™t it better for them to experience success rather than failure?

Having said that, my son was not ready at 6 either. was definitely behind the other kids. He lacked speech (was in the 3 percentile), couldnâ€™t follow directions and had trouble being quiet and attentive in circle time. We didnâ€™t want to make appear different or interrupt his school day by pulling him out for services. Extra services like speech were done in our home. Adaptive P.E. and socialization groups were done before school, during the lunch period or after school at our home. This had not been done by the district before.

But with an aide and a communication notebook we were kept informed of what he still needed to learn so we could incorporate it into our home program. The aide was introduced as an aide for all the kids even though was the reason she was there. We didnâ€™t want him to become too dependent on her and wanted her to be of help to everyone. She wrote us notes daily in the communication notebook.

Although the communication book was an important tool for us to know what still needed to learn, it also was a great source of frustration. There were so many things he still needed to learn and sometimes on paper the words written by the aide seemed so negative. Couldnâ€™t they say one nice thing about my kid? I worried that the teachers hated my kid because he took so much more time than the other children.

This fear was fueled after a conversation with the Kindergarten teacher where she admonished me for calling too much and taking too much of her time. Her words were something like, you know I have thirty nine other parents with both morning and afternoon Kindergarten and I need to talk to them too. You are not the only parent I have. As a teacher myself, I never would have talked to a parent that way, even if they were a big pain in the ass like me. Although I was taken aback, I held my tongue, not something Iâ€™m known for. But I knew if I had a confrontation with her, it was not in â€™s best interest. Iâ€™m not sure she believed could get better and we both didnâ€™t like each other

much. At that time I didnâ€™t believe he could ever be â€œnormalâ€ either. But it didnâ€™t matter as long as she was doing what was right for . Sometime later when was in fourth grade, a classmate of his won a miniature golfing trip at a school carnival. The golf excursion was with â€™s Kindergarten teacher and the boy who won it picked as the friend he wanted to go with him. After, the Kindergarten teacher called me at home and told me what a wonderful kid had become. According to her, he had the best manners and was a delight. I think this was her way of apologizing for all the crap she gave me when was in her class. But it all didnâ€™t really matter, because she was good for in Kindergarten and gave him the structure and discipline he needed at the time.

Donâ€™t be in a hurry to start school, because teaching them one on one is often much better for our kind of kids. Wait a year before enrolling him in Kindergarten and use that time to help catch him up.Hope that helps,Marcia

>Hi all. Haven't posted in a while. Hope someone can help me. We are trying to >decide whether to start public kindergarten in the fall or homeschool for a year >and start kindergarten next year. I am getting mixed advice about whether it is >better to do kindergarten twice, or to just wait. He just turned five last >week, so he is kind of on the young side. He tests average in some areas, but >tests around 3.5 years (about 1.5 years behind) in others. I am worried that he >is just not ready, but I know he wants to go and needs the social interaction. >He is also severely dyslexic/dyspraxic and I am concerned he will get further >behind if it is not addressed in school. So if I homeschool, I need >recommendations on homeschool programs that address dyslexia. Any advice or >experience would be

appreciated.> >Thanks so much. > >Cam

July 26, 2010

Do you think your son could function in Cub Scouts? I believe they start at Kinder level... it could be an opportunity for social stuff. --- ToniTo: mb12 valtrex Sent: Mon, July 26,

2010 9:58:35 AMSubject: Re: Starting Kindergarten