There's no such thing as normal

[Guest guest]

I heard this phrase again yesterday. I always want to jump up and yell: You

have no idea what you are saying. You have no idea how I've had to scratch and

claw for some sane understanding of normal. You have no idea that abnormal DOES

exist and it tried to kill me from birth!!

I understand the idea behind it--we can't judge others by our own cultural

norms. I'm a 1/2 black and 1/2 white woman born in 1967! I get it!! Cultures

are different!

But here is what I hear when that phrase is tossed out: my experience growing

up under BP/NP terrorism isn't so bad, its just another shade of " normal. " It

makes me twitch every time and *P****es** ME OFF!!

What I suffered wasn't normal. It was insane. It wasn't even in the realm of

high dysfunction. Our stories--my stories--are so abnormal, we would blow

" normal " people's minds if we could ever get them to see.

Which may be part of the pain underneath. My experience is so twisted and so

horrific, truly normal (even highly dysfunctional) people can't ever see what I

suffered. They could never see how hard I've had to work to unravel BP crazy

away from my understanding of " normal. "

Every BP I've ever met told me they were normal and were utterly convincing.

Guess what. That's BS.

Every time I hear " there's no such thing as normal " I feel so invisible. Its

like that phrase tells me how much I suffered isn't real--its just another shade

of acceptable.

Thanks for letting me get this out. Any thoughts?