Re: Nada died in November

[Guest guest]

Sheila;

You would be considered smart to dislike, even hate anyone who was cruel and

mean to another human being, let alone a small child, let alone a mother's own

child, let alone you were the child. YOu totally have the right to feel nothing

but relief that she's gone and no one has the right to try and make you feel

bad. Maybe they feel the same way and they are very uncomfortable with your

sense of freedom to be honest with yourself. You are doing the healthy thing to

be honest with yourself. She was NOT a nice person. Cruel. Horrible. Etc, etc.

Flowers in Oz

Nada died in November

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>Nada died peacefully in November and I am dealing with the fallout now.

>I have to say that I was relieved just after nada passed but I inevitably felt

guilty afterwards. She was my " mother " and people expect me to feel very sad

and I don't. I feel dishonest. Nada's friends keep saying how sad I must feel

after losing her, and I don't. I do feel a deep sense of loss and grief for the

mother / daughter relationship that MIGHT have been, not for the the

relationship that was. I am grieving that loss, definitely. I am also very

sorry that I could never relate to nada; but then no one could, she was

unreachable and untouchable; her unpredictable nature made it impossible for me

to trust her.

>My sister (aka Little Nada) is acting out now too. She is wasting no time in

venting her spite, resentment and jealousy on me. My brother (the alcoholic) is

trying to manipulate my sister and I. Unfortunately all 3 of us are the

executors of nada's estate so the fun continues. I am feeling anxious and

depressed because nada's memorial has been postponed to the end of February.

Everything seems to be in slow motion now and I feel trapped. Thank You for

allowing me to express my true feelings. I know this group understands.

>Sheila

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