Re: just a couple of things...

[Guest guest]

Madonna- Have you tried the Ferber method? We used it with my son at 6 months

old and it worked like a charm. He's got different ways to get the kids to

sleep depending on the problem. I can get my book and tell you the exact name

if you want it. A friend also gave me the name of another book that's

supposed to work well. I personally don't think just letting him " cry it out "

works well. The Ferber method involves gradually increasing the amount of

time you let them cry, but always going back in and reassuring them you're

still there. It's also nice because you can look at the clock and know you

only need to listen to him cry for one more minute and then you can go in.

Unfortunately I think we'll be needing to do it again with our baby who is 6

months and doesn't sleep. Good luck,

Liz

[Guest guest]

Hi Madonna

You may or may not like my point of view. But here it goes.........

if you don't mind lying with him and it works for your family........DO

IT!!!!

I think we spend so much time listening to others who say we mothers

" should " do this, or " shouldn't " do that.......that we miss out on some

great times with our kids.

Having said that...I want to assure you I speak from experience. Both of my

kids (one RSS; the other very very NORMAL) were put to bed that way every

single night. It was only when they got older and had their own bed that it

stopped--it was gradual--they just seemed to grow out of it. I miss that

time to tell you the truth. (Adam was in a crib until almost 4--he never

tried to crawl or climb out and he was so small!!!)...but I always rocked

them to sleep. When we were away (eg. at my mother in law's cottage) I would

take the younger one (there is 3 years between the 2) and lie down in the

bedroom until they fell asleep. My mother in law was nuts about my doing

that!! She would make such fun of me....but I didn't bother to listen to

her. These are MY kids. (her kids grew up to be social nut cases--hence my

being divorced--so why should I trust her advice LOL)

When my ex first left, that's how both went to sleep every night for the

first little while (one on either side of me, in my bed, and when they fell

asleep I would squeeze out between them and carry them to their rooms).

I miss those days. Yes, it is lovely to have a child who " falls asleep " on

their own. My sister has one...but she did the screaming thing for many,

many a night first!! I tried with my first child one night...she screamed

until it broke my heart. After what seemed like eternity all was quiet. Her

dad and I crept into her room and found her on her knees, holding onto the

rails of the crib (like a jail cell) with her head resting on her shoulder

sound asleep.

That was the one and only night I tried it. Why should I upset her? Upset me

by listening to the screaming??

Absolutely forget it. And one last piece of advice.......for all those who

say " they will never learn to fall asleep on their own if you don't teach

them " well both of mine did!!!!

So do it and don't give a fig's hoot about what anyone else says!!!!!!!!!

Debby

mec72799@... wrote:

> As for the water thing, I let steven have a little water after his

> pediasure bottles but not much, it just helps with the rising of the

> teeth. He chokes a lot on water and juice, he mostly gets milk or

> pediasure.

> Now a question that is not really related to RSS but I think someone

> might have some help to offer. We have a major bedtime problem

> here. is 14.5 months old he goes to sleep for his naps and

> bedtime with no problem, under one condition, I lay with him until

> he falls asleep and them put him in his crib. He never falls asleep

> on his own no matter how tired he is, unless we are in the car. I

> have tried the method of putting him in his crib and letting him cry

> it out, but he cries so much he throws up, and then he needs a

> breathing treatment. I need to break him of this but i don't know

> how. Of course I have been told cause he is an only child, we are

> just spoiling him. I would change this if I could. I am sure you

> are all aware of how hard it is to go through the screaming, puking,

> and changing the sheets and then trying for bed again. I can not

> justify putting him through all that stress just before bed. Should

> i just continue until he is ready to go in his crib on his own or

> should I start being a stickler about it. I have even put a fish

> tank in his room with a light in it, he loves it in the day but it

> makes no difference in the night. I have tried to sit in his room so

> he does not feel alone but he still screams. Any help I will welcome

> with open arms.

> Thanks

> Madonna

>

[Guest guest]

I am so glad that Debby wrote what she did. As I was reading your email,

Madonna, I was thinking the same thing - if it works for you and ,

then don't worry about it. He is YOUR child and he will learn to sleep on

his own when he is ready. These kids are little for such a short time that

I used to enjoy the time in bed with them. There is nothing as heartwarming

and touching as your own sleeping child. If it is not an inconvenience for

you, keep on doing what you are doing and don't worry. There is just so

much pressure to do things by the book these days! Maybe my over 40 outlook

on life is clouding this, but I don't think so. If I had it to do over

again, I would be much more relaxed and do as my heart told me to do.

By the way, just a thought here...I remember Jenna going through something

similar when she was 18 months old. We bought her one of those toddler beds

and she went right to sleep and never had a problem again. Have you tried

anything like that? I know it is so inconvenient to give up the crib, but

maybe it is worth a try?

Jodi

Re: just a couple of things...

> Hi Madonna

>

> You may or may not like my point of view. But here it goes.........

>

> if you don't mind lying with him and it works for your family........DO

> IT!!!!

>

> I think we spend so much time listening to others who say we mothers

> " should " do this, or " shouldn't " do that.......that we miss out on some

> great times with our kids.

>

> Having said that...I want to assure you I speak from experience. Both of

my

> kids (one RSS; the other very very NORMAL) were put to bed that way every

> single night. It was only when they got older and had their own bed that

it

> stopped--it was gradual--they just seemed to grow out of it. I miss that

> time to tell you the truth. (Adam was in a crib until almost 4--he never

> tried to crawl or climb out and he was so small!!!)...but I always rocked

> them to sleep. When we were away (eg. at my mother in law's cottage) I

would

> take the younger one (there is 3 years between the 2) and lie down in the

> bedroom until they fell asleep. My mother in law was nuts about my doing

> that!! She would make such fun of me....but I didn't bother to listen to

> her. These are MY kids. (her kids grew up to be social nut cases--hence my

> being divorced--so why should I trust her advice LOL)

> When my ex first left, that's how both went to sleep every night for the

> first little while (one on either side of me, in my bed, and when they

fell

> asleep I would squeeze out between them and carry them to their rooms).

>

> I miss those days. Yes, it is lovely to have a child who " falls asleep " on

> their own. My sister has one...but she did the screaming thing for many,

> many a night first!! I tried with my first child one night...she screamed

> until it broke my heart. After what seemed like eternity all was quiet.

Her

> dad and I crept into her room and found her on her knees, holding onto the

> rails of the crib (like a jail cell) with her head resting on her shoulder

> sound asleep.

>

> That was the one and only night I tried it. Why should I upset her? Upset

me

> by listening to the screaming??

>

> Absolutely forget it. And one last piece of advice.......for all those who

> say " they will never learn to fall asleep on their own if you don't teach

> them " well both of mine did!!!!

>

> So do it and don't give a fig's hoot about what anyone else says!!!!!!!!!

>

> Debby

>

> mec72799@... wrote:

>

> > As for the water thing, I let steven have a little water after his

> > pediasure bottles but not much, it just helps with the rising of the

> > teeth. He chokes a lot on water and juice, he mostly gets milk or

> > pediasure.

> > Now a question that is not really related to RSS but I think someone

> > might have some help to offer. We have a major bedtime problem

> > here. is 14.5 months old he goes to sleep for his naps and

> > bedtime with no problem, under one condition, I lay with him until

> > he falls asleep and them put him in his crib. He never falls asleep

> > on his own no matter how tired he is, unless we are in the car. I

> > have tried the method of putting him in his crib and letting him cry

> > it out, but he cries so much he throws up, and then he needs a

> > breathing treatment. I need to break him of this but i don't know

> > how. Of course I have been told cause he is an only child, we are

> > just spoiling him. I would change this if I could. I am sure you

> > are all aware of how hard it is to go through the screaming, puking,

> > and changing the sheets and then trying for bed again. I can not

> > justify putting him through all that stress just before bed. Should

> > i just continue until he is ready to go in his crib on his own or

> > should I start being a stickler about it. I have even put a fish

> > tank in his room with a light in it, he loves it in the day but it

> > makes no difference in the night. I have tried to sit in his room so

> > he does not feel alone but he still screams. Any help I will welcome

> > with open arms.

> > Thanks

> > Madonna

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Madonna,

most people will frown upon me for saying this, but if it is no big problem for

you to lay with him I say enjoy it while you have it.

They grow up so fast now adays and I don't think we enjoy them being babies

much. I know it can be hard, but it's better than losing all those calories!

Just my 2 cents!

Carmen, mom to Storm, 5, rss, opposite asymmetry, periactin, 38 " , 27#

[Guest guest]

---If you have the name of the book I would love it now he is 14

months old and I can't continue this forever. THanks, Madonna

In RSS-Supportegroups, twinks898@a... wrote:

> Madonna- Have you tried the Ferber method? We used it with my son

at 6 months

> old and it worked like a charm. He's got different ways to get the

kids to

> sleep depending on the problem. I can get my book and tell you the

exact name

> if you want it. A friend also gave me the name of another book

that's

> supposed to work well. I personally don't think just letting

him " cry it out "

> works well. The Ferber method involves gradually increasing the

amount of

> time you let them cry, but always going back in and reassuring them

you're

> still there. It's also nice because you can look at the clock and

know you

> only need to listen to him cry for one more minute and then you can

go in.

> Unfortunately I think we'll be needing to do it again with our baby

who is 6

> months and doesn't sleep. Good luck,

> Liz

[Guest guest]

---Jodi,

and I are discussing getting steven a toddler bed for xmas he

will be 1.5 years then, and if it is close to the ground it does not

worry us too much. We were thinking this would help because he

sleeps for a long periord of time if he stays in our bed, but we

notice ever since his hospital stay at 9 months old, he will not

sleep long in his crib. I wonder if it has bad memories? I think we

will try it. Thanks for everyone's info.

Madonna

In RSS-Supportegroups, " z4all " <z4all@g...> wrote:

> I am so glad that Debby wrote what she did. As I was reading your

email,

> Madonna, I was thinking the same thing - if it works for you and

,

> then don't worry about it. He is YOUR child and he will learn to

sleep on

> his own when he is ready. These kids are little for such a short

time that

> I used to enjoy the time in bed with them. There is nothing as

heartwarming

> and touching as your own sleeping child. If it is not an

inconvenience for

> you, keep on doing what you are doing and don't worry. There is

just so

> much pressure to do things by the book these days! Maybe my over

40 outlook

> on life is clouding this, but I don't think so. If I had it to do

over

> again, I would be much more relaxed and do as my heart told me to

do.

>

> By the way, just a thought here...I remember Jenna going through

something

> similar when she was 18 months old. We bought her one of those

toddler beds

> and she went right to sleep and never had a problem again. Have

you tried

> anything like that? I know it is so inconvenient to give up the

crib, but

> maybe it is worth a try?

>

> Jodi

> Re: just a couple of things...

>

>

> > Hi Madonna

> >

> > You may or may not like my point of view. But here it

goes.........

> >

> > if you don't mind lying with him and it works for your

family........DO

> > IT!!!!

> >

> > I think we spend so much time listening to others who say we

mothers

> > " should " do this, or " shouldn't " do that.......that we miss out

on some

> > great times with our kids.

> >

> > Having said that...I want to assure you I speak from experience.

Both of

> my

> > kids (one RSS; the other very very NORMAL) were put to bed that

way every

> > single night. It was only when they got older and had their own

bed that

> it

> > stopped--it was gradual--they just seemed to grow out of it. I

miss that

> > time to tell you the truth. (Adam was in a crib until almost 4--

he never

> > tried to crawl or climb out and he was so small!!!)...but I

always rocked

> > them to sleep. When we were away (eg. at my mother in law's

cottage) I

> would

> > take the younger one (there is 3 years between the 2) and lie

down in the

> > bedroom until they fell asleep. My mother in law was nuts about

my doing

> > that!! She would make such fun of me....but I didn't bother to

listen to

> > her. These are MY kids. (her kids grew up to be social nut cases--

hence my

> > being divorced--so why should I trust her advice LOL)

> > When my ex first left, that's how both went to sleep every night

for the

> > first little while (one on either side of me, in my bed, and when

they

> fell

> > asleep I would squeeze out between them and carry them to their

rooms).

> >

> > I miss those days. Yes, it is lovely to have a child who " falls

asleep " on

> > their own. My sister has one...but she did the screaming thing

for many,

> > many a night first!! I tried with my first child one night...she

screamed

> > until it broke my heart. After what seemed like eternity all was

quiet.

> Her

> > dad and I crept into her room and found her on her knees, holding

onto the

> > rails of the crib (like a jail cell) with her head resting on her

shoulder

> > sound asleep.

> >

> > That was the one and only night I tried it. Why should I upset

her? Upset

> me

> > by listening to the screaming??

> >

> > Absolutely forget it. And one last piece of advice.......for all

those who

> > say " they will never learn to fall asleep on their own if you

don't teach

> > them " well both of mine did!!!!

> >

> > So do it and don't give a fig's hoot about what anyone else

says!!!!!!!!!

> >

> > Debby

> >

> > mec72799@y... wrote:

> >

> > > As for the water thing, I let steven have a little water after

his

> > > pediasure bottles but not much, it just helps with the rising

of the

> > > teeth. He chokes a lot on water and juice, he mostly gets milk

or

> > > pediasure.

> > > Now a question that is not really related to RSS but I think

someone

> > > might have some help to offer. We have a major bedtime problem

> > > here. is 14.5 months old he goes to sleep for his naps

and

> > > bedtime with no problem, under one condition, I lay with him

until

> > > he falls asleep and them put him in his crib. He never falls

asleep

> > > on his own no matter how tired he is, unless we are in the

car. I

> > > have tried the method of putting him in his crib and letting

him cry

> > > it out, but he cries so much he throws up, and then he needs a

> > > breathing treatment. I need to break him of this but i don't

know

> > > how. Of course I have been told cause he is an only child, we

are

> > > just spoiling him. I would change this if I could. I am sure

you

> > > are all aware of how hard it is to go through the screaming,

puking,

> > > and changing the sheets and then trying for bed again. I can

not

> > > justify putting him through all that stress just before bed.

Should

> > > i just continue until he is ready to go in his crib on his own

or

> > > should I start being a stickler about it. I have even put a

fish

> > > tank in his room with a light in it, he loves it in the day but

it

> > > makes no difference in the night. I have tried to sit in his

room so

> > > he does not feel alone but he still screams. Any help I will

welcome

> > > with open arms.

> > > Thanks

> > > Madonna

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Dr. Ferber has a great sleep book. It has all kinds of problems and how to

resolve them. Through our kids' 4 years of life, we have run across several

problems, and his book has helped us each time.

Dr. Ferber " Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems " (paperback)

[Guest guest]

Although I also sent the email about Dr. Ferber's book, I want to agree with

everyone else. Whether or not you lie down with your child to get them to

sleep is your own business. It should only be a problem if it is a problem

for you. Eventually, with peer pressure, they will sleep on their own.

With my husband gone Mon-Fri, I personally have seen our children's great

sleeping habits fly out the window (especially ). They both now need

me to lie down with them (we do it in alternating rooms, and then I move one

later). I have way too much on my plate, mainly fatigue, to battle right

now. I also thought last night with all that is going through right

now, maybe she needs me to be close to her.

So.... do whatever you feel is right. IF having to lie down with them is a

problem (e.g., it takes your son an hour to go to sleep!!!), then Dr.

Ferber's book is great!

S.