Re: CONTROVERSIAL SUBJECT: READ AT RISK

[Guest guest]

This was waaaay tooooo funny, . I laughed till I cried and had to redo my makeup before work! I, too, have forwarded it on to my family who knows what we are going through with the helmet issues! thanks for a good laugh. and Jennicah in Washington

[Guest guest]

-

Your story was a joy to read! I laughed and laughed. How come you

Daddies are so kid like. It is so funny how us Mommies have it all set

and down pat too " what to do " . I think your way is very unconventional

and fun. Not to be mean, but I am now understanding why we girls were

given the job of " having babies " LOL. Let's face it, our minutes of

drama are not SO long. ;-) . I think Jaxon is very smart, and he knows

how to WORK Daddy!

Jaxon is very lucky to have such a GREAT Dad. If I were you, I would

print this story up and put it in his baby book. I know he would really

enjoy reading this later in life. Alyssa definitely has her hands full!

Are you planning on have more kids (since it seems she has 2

already!)? LOL.....I hope her hair came out nice, those breaks are VERY

needed. Tell her next time to pump, just in case mayhem happens again.

;-)

Thanks for the story!

Krissy

ph's mom

Starband 4/28/04 (7 months)

Palm Harbor, FL

On Aug 5, 2004, at 2:06 AM, wrote:

> Alright I just had to tell the following story for 2 reasons- One

> it has to do with the Helmet/Sleeping issue- Two I feel this

> posting will help dads everywhere get there voice out.

>

> See it all stated tonight when Alyssa, my wife, tells me she has a

> haircut appointment at 8:00pm. I think nothing of it considering

> Jaxon goes to bed at 7:00pm and I am a pretty capable

> babysitter/Dad. One quick sidenote on this story however- One of

> Alyssa's " haircuts " last about 2-3 hours and include some crazy

> super secret hi light/ straightening formula/ outrageuos price tag---

> Anyway- these hair cuts are LONG ( keep in mind my longest hair cut

> ever was about 7 minutes and like $12.00) Again I don't think much

> of it because Jaxon will be asleep.

>

> So Alyssa leaves on her journey for hair superiority (Also keep in

> mind the reason guys don't comment about " new " haircuts is not that

> we don't like the look, they just always look exactly the same as

> they did before you left) Back to the story.... 10 minutes after

> she leaves I hear it... Jaxon screaming... Panic sets in- Keep in

> mind he usually sleeps all the way through the night from 7-7. Now

> I know what your thinking---- so what... he's awake? Well I will

> tell you the problem. See I consider myself a fairly capable dad-

> I can change diapers, dress him, take him anywhere(which i love

> doing) and pretty much manage the basic " baby stuff " . The problem

> with bedtime and me involves so basic organ issues- I don't have

> boobs. See Alyssa breastfeeds Jaxon to sleep everynight and that is

> the only way he will go to bed....period....the only way. Now

> compound the above with this whole new helmet thing and I am screwed.

>

> Clock is now ticking- 2 hours and 47 minutes tell mom gets home. I

> really don't have many options so I just go in and get Jaxon. He

> immediatly stops crying as I rock him. However, He and I both know

> that without Mom's boob it is just a waiting game and a test of

> wills---DAD vs JAXON.

>

> So I try to put him to bed after rocking him for awile (2 hours of

> rocking in MAN time but only 9 minutes in REAL time) He immediatly

> starts crying so I make a hasty retreat to regroup and rethink. He

> crys for about 7 hours man time (8 minutes real time) and I make my

> second attack. This time I have prepared various ,

> Eagle's, and Kenny 's songs to " sing " the little guy to sleep.

> My plan works flawlessly untill I try to put him in his crib- He

> wakes up. Jaxon 2- Dad - 0

>

> Now I am panicking and sweeting a bit and it hits me.... He must be

> hot as hell and sweeting in his band. I react immediatly.... In

> hindsight this may have not been the best idea but hey - Hindsight

> is 20/20. I decide to take the battle to him. Thats right you

> heard me- I got in the crib with him. Keep in mind I built this

> crib and not only is it sturdy but you could probably park a

> Chevrolet in it. I don't really know why I got in there, I only

> knew I had to. Jaxon immediatly relaxed and stated crawling on me.

> Once in his " lair " I fumbled aroung in the dark to take his helmet

> off, dry his head and helmet, and put it back on. Now we were at a

> true standstill. I broke out the big guns... I curled up with him

> (I am 6'3 " and in a 4' crib) and sang some Beattles. Ringo must

> have been with me tonight for in 15 minutes (12 hours man time)

> Jaxon was fast asleep---- Dad-1 Jaxon-2

>

> As I contemplated my victory it suddenly hit me.... How am I going

> to get out of here without waking him up? I waited awhile (at this

> point time was but an unkown variable) Then made my

> sneak " retreat " My plan was simple... get out of the crib. As I

> stood slowly to exit I was bombarded by noise. Alarms were going of

> but where? Then it hit me- I had bumped this stupid fish / music/

> light/ crib attachment thingy. Next thing I knew fish were

> swimming, bubbles sounding, and light flickering. I reacted with

> cat like reflexes and hurled myself out of the crib. I laid prone

> and out of sight on the floor and waited for the damn fish to stop-

> (23 hours man time)

>

> Of couse at this point Jaxon was awake and trying to figure out what

> was going on. I still had my cover position so laid still- It was

> my only defense. As he started to cry something crazy happened.

> History may retell this story differently but I swear on everything

> HOLY the next event happened word for word. Thats right- He

> said " DA DA " . not once, not twice, but many many times. He has

> said Da da before but only briefly and quietly. What happened next

> occurred in extreme slow motion (like in the Matrix) I peaked up

> from under the crib and we made eye contact. We just stared at each

> other for minutes (real minutes)

>

> Then and there he and I both realized something--- It didn't matter

> who won this " battle " ... it didn't matter I didn't have boobs....

> and it sure as hell didn't matter that he needed his sleep. O

> thats right. I flicked the light right on and took him out of his

> bed. At this point I had pre determinned that I would be buying him

> any car he wanted and letting him stay out all night on Prom night.

> Yup that little " DA DA " and sucker punched me like a bull.

>

> We proceeded to hang out untill 10:37pm (when mom got home) Her

> anger and frustration really had no effect on me for my son and I

> had made that once in a life time " connection " (I know what your

> thinking- he's only 10 months....But it happened) I was immediatly

> scolded for not following correct " baby wake up " protocals (I forgot

> them completly- even though she had told me them before she left)

>

> I guess to make a very long story kinda short I just want to let the

> moms out there know not to underestimate us dads- Also get your

> hair cut during the day.

>

> Anyways sorry for the lenghty story but I don't know anyone else who

> would listen and my wife is mad at me..... so your it.

> Thanks

>

>

>

>

>

>

> For more plagio info

[Guest guest]

O yes alyssa wants 3 MORE KIDS- I am a little nervous about some

many little ones but hey.... It'll be fun- The problem with Alyssa

pumping is that Jaxon hates bottles and won't take them---- Thenin

lies the dilemna- Thanks for the feed back

>

> > Alright I just had to tell the following story for 2 reasons-

One

> > it has to do with the Helmet/Sleeping issue- Two I feel this

> > posting will help dads everywhere get there voice out.

> >

> > See it all stated tonight when Alyssa, my wife, tells me she has

a

> > haircut appointment at 8:00pm. I think nothing of it considering

> > Jaxon goes to bed at 7:00pm and I am a pretty capable

> > babysitter/Dad. One quick sidenote on this story however- One

of

> > Alyssa's " haircuts " last about 2-3 hours and include some crazy

> > super secret hi light/ straightening formula/ outrageuos price

tag---

> > Anyway- these hair cuts are LONG ( keep in mind my longest hair

cut

> > ever was about 7 minutes and like $12.00) Again I don't think

much

> > of it because Jaxon will be asleep.

> >

> > So Alyssa leaves on her journey for hair superiority (Also keep

in

> > mind the reason guys don't comment about " new " haircuts is not

that

> > we don't like the look, they just always look exactly the same as

> > they did before you left) Back to the story.... 10 minutes after

> > she leaves I hear it... Jaxon screaming... Panic sets in- Keep

in

> > mind he usually sleeps all the way through the night from 7-7.

Now

> > I know what your thinking---- so what... he's awake? Well I will

> > tell you the problem. See I consider myself a fairly capable

dad-

> > I can change diapers, dress him, take him anywhere(which i love

> > doing) and pretty much manage the basic " baby stuff " . The

problem

> > with bedtime and me involves so basic organ issues- I don't have

> > boobs. See Alyssa breastfeeds Jaxon to sleep everynight and

that is

> > the only way he will go to bed....period....the only way. Now

> > compound the above with this whole new helmet thing and I am

screwed.

> >

> > Clock is now ticking- 2 hours and 47 minutes tell mom gets

home. I

> > really don't have many options so I just go in and get Jaxon. He

> > immediatly stops crying as I rock him. However, He and I both

know

> > that without Mom's boob it is just a waiting game and a test of

> > wills---DAD vs JAXON.

> >

> > So I try to put him to bed after rocking him for awile (2 hours

of

> > rocking in MAN time but only 9 minutes in REAL time) He

immediatly

> > starts crying so I make a hasty retreat to regroup and rethink.

He

> > crys for about 7 hours man time (8 minutes real time) and I

make my

> > second attack. This time I have prepared various ,

> > Eagle's, and Kenny 's songs to " sing " the little guy to

sleep.

> > My plan works flawlessly untill I try to put him in his crib- He

> > wakes up. Jaxon 2- Dad - 0

> >

> > Now I am panicking and sweeting a bit and it hits me.... He must

be

> > hot as hell and sweeting in his band. I react immediatly.... In

> > hindsight this may have not been the best idea but hey -

Hindsight

> > is 20/20. I decide to take the battle to him. Thats right you

> > heard me- I got in the crib with him. Keep in mind I built this

> > crib and not only is it sturdy but you could probably park a

> > Chevrolet in it. I don't really know why I got in there, I only

> > knew I had to. Jaxon immediatly relaxed and stated crawling on

me.

> > Once in his " lair " I fumbled aroung in the dark to take his

helmet

> > off, dry his head and helmet, and put it back on. Now we were

at a

> > true standstill. I broke out the big guns... I curled up with

him

> > (I am 6'3 " and in a 4' crib) and sang some Beattles. Ringo must

> > have been with me tonight for in 15 minutes (12 hours man time)

> > Jaxon was fast asleep---- Dad-1 Jaxon-2

> >

> > As I contemplated my victory it suddenly hit me.... How am I

going

> > to get out of here without waking him up? I waited awhile (at

this

> > point time was but an unkown variable) Then made my

> > sneak " retreat " My plan was simple... get out of the crib. As I

> > stood slowly to exit I was bombarded by noise. Alarms were

going of

> > but where? Then it hit me- I had bumped this stupid fish /

music/

> > light/ crib attachment thingy. Next thing I knew fish were

> > swimming, bubbles sounding, and light flickering. I reacted with

> > cat like reflexes and hurled myself out of the crib. I laid

prone

> > and out of sight on the floor and waited for the damn fish to

stop-

> > (23 hours man time)

> >

> > Of couse at this point Jaxon was awake and trying to figure out

what

> > was going on. I still had my cover position so laid still- It

was

> > my only defense. As he started to cry something crazy happened.

> > History may retell this story differently but I swear on

everything

> > HOLY the next event happened word for word. Thats right- He

> > said " DA DA " . not once, not twice, but many many times. He has

> > said Da da before but only briefly and quietly. What happened

next

> > occurred in extreme slow motion (like in the Matrix) I peaked up

> > from under the crib and we made eye contact. We just stared at

each

> > other for minutes (real minutes)

> >

> > Then and there he and I both realized something--- It didn't

matter

> > who won this " battle " ... it didn't matter I didn't have boobs....

> > and it sure as hell didn't matter that he needed his sleep. O

> > thats right. I flicked the light right on and took him out of

his

> > bed. At this point I had pre determinned that I would be buying

him

> > any car he wanted and letting him stay out all night on Prom

night.

> > Yup that little " DA DA " and sucker punched me like a bull.

> >

> > We proceeded to hang out untill 10:37pm (when mom got home) Her

> > anger and frustration really had no effect on me for my son and I

> > had made that once in a life time " connection " (I know what your

> > thinking- he's only 10 months....But it happened) I was

immediatly

> > scolded for not following correct " baby wake up " protocals (I

forgot

> > them completly- even though she had told me them before she left)

> >

> > I guess to make a very long story kinda short I just want to let

the

> > moms out there know not to underestimate us dads- Also get your

> > hair cut during the day.

> >

> > Anyways sorry for the lenghty story but I don't know anyone else

who

> > would listen and my wife is mad at me..... so your it.

> > Thanks

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > For more plagio info

[Guest guest]

H ,

Just wanted to add along with many others that your post was such a pleasure to read and its so nice to have a laugh these days!! I also go through many of these things of my husband and have to return to work in a month so we'll see how he does on his shift with our tort baby who is now 10 mos, our 2 yr old boy and 4 yr old girl!! I asked my husband to read your post cause it was a real keeper and he had a good chuckle. Thanks for sending and sharing your experiences!

mommy to Angelina 10 mos with tort, local helmet July 09 in , B.C. Canada

READ AT RISKAlright I just had to tell the following story for 2 reasons- One it has to do with the Helmet/Sleeping issue- Two I feel this posting will help dads everywhere get there voice out.See it all stated tonight when Alyssa, my wife, tells me she has a haircut appointment at 8:00pm. I think nothing of it considering Jaxon goes to bed at 7:00pm and I am a pretty capable babysitter/Dad. One quick sidenote on this story however- One of Alyssa's "haircuts" last about 2-3 hours and include some crazy super secret hi light/ straightening formula/ outrageuos price tag---Anyway- these hair cuts are LONG ( keep in mind my longest hair cut ever was about 7 minutes and like $12.00) Again I don't think much of it because Jaxon will be asleep.So Alyssa leaves on her journey for hair superiority (Also keep in mind the reason guys don't comment about "new" haircuts is not that we don't like the look, they just always look exactly the same as they did before you left) Back to the story.... 10 minutes after she leaves I hear it... Jaxon screaming... Panic sets in- Keep in mind he usually sleeps all the way through the night from 7-7. Now I know what your thinking---- so what... he's awake? Well I will tell you the problem. See I consider myself a fairly capable dad- I can change diapers, dress him, take him anywhere(which i love doing) and pretty much manage the basic "baby stuff". The problem with bedtime and me involves so basic organ issues- I don't have boobs. See Alyssa breastfeeds Jaxon to sleep everynight and that is the only way he will go to bed....period....the only way. Now compound the above with this whole new helmet thing and I am screwed.Clock is now ticking- 2 hours and 47 minutes tell mom gets home. I really don't have many options so I just go in and get Jaxon. He immediatly stops crying as I rock him. However, He and I both know that without Mom's boob it is just a waiting game and a test of wills---DAD vs JAXON. So I try to put him to bed after rocking him for awile (2 hours of rocking in MAN time but only 9 minutes in REAL time) He immediatly starts crying so I make a hasty retreat to regroup and rethink. He crys for about 7 hours man time (8 minutes real time) and I make my second attack. This time I have prepared various , Eagle's, and Kenny 's songs to "sing" the little guy to sleep. My plan works flawlessly untill I try to put him in his crib- He wakes up. Jaxon 2- Dad - 0Now I am panicking and sweeting a bit and it hits me.... He must be hot as hell and sweeting in his band. I react immediatly.... In hindsight this may have not been the best idea but hey - Hindsight is 20/20. I decide to take the battle to him. Thats right you heard me- I got in the crib with him. Keep in mind I built this crib and not only is it sturdy but you could probably park a Chevrolet in it. I don't really know why I got in there, I only knew I had to. Jaxon immediatly relaxed and stated crawling on me. Once in his "lair" I fumbled aroung in the dark to take his helmet off, dry his head and helmet, and put it back on. Now we were at a true standstill. I broke out the big guns... I curled up with him (I am 6'3" and in a 4' crib) and sang some Beattles. Ringo must have been with me tonight for in 15 minutes (12 hours man time) Jaxon was fast asleep---- Dad-1 Jaxon-2As I contemplated my victory it suddenly hit me.... How am I going to get out of here without waking him up? I waited awhile (at this point time was but an unkown variable) Then made my sneak "retreat" My plan was simple... get out of the crib. As I stood slowly to exit I was bombarded by noise. Alarms were going of but where? Then it hit me- I had bumped this stupid fish / music/ light/ crib attachment thingy. Next thing I knew fish were swimming, bubbles sounding, and light flickering. I reacted with cat like reflexes and hurled myself out of the crib. I laid prone and out of sight on the floor and waited for the damn fish to stop- (23 hours man time) Of couse at this point Jaxon was awake and trying to figure out what was going on. I still had my cover position so laid still- It was my only defense. As he started to cry something crazy happened. History may retell this story differently but I swear on everything HOLY the next event happened word for word. Thats right- He said "DA DA". not once, not twice, but many many times. He has said Da da before but only briefly and quietly. What happened next occurred in extreme slow motion (like in the Matrix) I peaked up from under the crib and we made eye contact. We just stared at each other for minutes (real minutes) Then and there he and I both realized something--- It didn't matter who won this "battle"... it didn't matter I didn't have boobs.... and it sure as hell didn't matter that he needed his sleep. O thats right. I flicked the light right on and took him out of his bed. At this point I had pre determinned that I would be buying him any car he wanted and letting him stay out all night on Prom night. Yup that little "DA DA" and sucker punched me like a bull. We proceeded to hang out untill 10:37pm (when mom got home) Her anger and frustration really had no effect on me for my son and I had made that once in a life time "connection" (I know what your thinking- he's only 10 months....But it happened) I was immediatly scolded for not following correct "baby wake up" protocals (I forgot them completly- even though she had told me them before she left) I guess to make a very long story kinda short I just want to let the moms out there know not to underestimate us dads- Also get your hair cut during the day. Anyways sorry for the lenghty story but I don't know anyone else who would listen and my wife is mad at me..... so your it.ThanksFor more plagio info