Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 I so agree. When I finally got test results in for the first time revealing the thyroid problem, I was giddy, happy and dancing around. I finally felt like I wasn't crazy anymore. Then, that was replaced with sadness and the fact that I had a disease that would need meds for the rest of my life. Off topic, you stated " rapid aging " . What do you mean. It's funny you say that because my family has been blessed with looking really young beyond their years. I have been told I look like a college student. Well, not anymore, but a few years back. Now I look in the mirror and I see a worn out ragged 30 something. I literally look like crap without make-up. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I have acne now (which I know is because of the Hashi's and that I am not on the correct dosage). I called the endo last week to tell them that I was slipping back into hypo, and she finally called me back exactly one week later. She said that the doctor will probably want me to wait the next 3 weeks out before retesting. SO, I have to sit and wait and look like crap with thick dry skin patches all over my body and face, acne, carpel tunnel in my wrist and behind my knee, chronic back pain etc... This is BullS*%T. I am also in the processing of selling my house and packing. My husband needs my help. How the heck am I going to be able to do that? I also have the babies to tend with. Okay, sorry for verbally barfing, but this really does suck. > > I have had people ask me about the disease. They said if you could pick one thing that is the worst part of it, what would you say. I thought about the fatigue, the loss of my long beautiful hair and nails, the fact that I am obese now. I even considered the aches and pains, the rapid aging, the knowing that if you have a thyroid disease you may be turned down for life insurance which to me points to the fact that science knows it is killing us slowly. You know what the worst part is to me? That no one believes how badly we feel or how long we have felt this way. We are treated like we are nuts. > Re: Here's one more Leila > > > HI, > > It's so hard for me to remember if I went hyper with the Hashi's, > but I think I probably did. I have always been thin. The symptoms > have waxed and waned for years. I mean, I really believe in my heart > of hearts that my problems becan around puberty. I remember one day > I went to a friends farm and went swimming in their pool. I got all > ichy and my eyes were ichy so bad. My nose started to run and I was > sneezing like crazy. That was the first time I had ever experienced > an allergy attack. My mom thought I was allergic to the hay, ever > since that day I had horrible allergies. This came right out of the > blue. I had been tested at 5 for allergies (you know, those old > tested with dye and a zillion needles they stick in your back). I > had no known allergies then. Anyway, I have an article that states > that allergies are common with Hashi's patients. One year after the > allergies started, I got my first heart palpitation...and symptoms > accumulated from then on. I asked the endo and he dismissed it and > said that Hashi's is a progressive disease. He didn't seem to > believe me when I said I have had symptoms that have waxed and waned > for around 15-17 years. I guess it is all in my head. It always was. > So darn frustrating! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 Hello d_timmsjosey, d> Off topic, you stated " rapid aging " . What do you mean. It's funny d> you say that because my family has been blessed with looking really d> young beyond their years. I have been told I look like a college d> student. I turned 40 last october -until last year i was never thought to be that old -people guessed at late 20s /early 30s for my age but now i look as if i'm in my late 40s. -- Best regards, Alison http://www.alisonashwell.com mailto:alison.ashwell@... new work uploaded http://www.artwanted.com/alisonashwell http://www.voodoochilli.net/artists/alisonashwell/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 yes, I agree with that totally Lynda (in the UK) Worst part of it You know what the worst part is to me? That no one believes how badly we feel or how long we have felt this way. We are treated like we are nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 I looked 30 when I was 40. Now I am (almost) 56 and look much older Lynda (in the UK) Re: Re: Worst part of it Hello d_timmsjosey, d> Off topic, you stated " rapid aging " . What do you mean. It's funny d> you say that because my family has been blessed with looking really d> young beyond their years. I have been told I look like a college d> student. I turned 40 last october -until last year i was never thought to be that old -people guessed at late 20s /early 30s for my age but now i look as if i'm in my late 40s. -- Best regards, Alison Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 OK, first and foremost, buy the best exfoliating cremes and lotions. I use a heavy scrub on my body and face 3 days a week. Next, I can always tell when I have eaten soy somewhere. My wrists, thumb joints, knees and feet ache. Now these diseases cause gray hair early, dry skin which causes thick skin which contributes to the acne, low immune system so more allergies, anemia, poor absorption, etc. I am 49. Now I have my skin looking better, but, looking at the issues I mentioned, they normally get bad at 65. In thyroid people it is year 3 of the disease regardless of your age from what I see. Well, go buy the best CoQ10 you can afford and some b-12 that you take sublingually. The hippie type health places have that. Increase your water by double. That will help a lot. That is really the only help. Anything else has never worked for me Somewhere I have recipes for homemade great body scrubs. When I find them, do you want them? I have even given them as gifts and people went nuts for them!!!!! This is the place to vent! Re: Worst part of it I so agree. When I finally got test results in for the first time revealing the thyroid problem, I was giddy, happy and dancing around. I finally felt like I wasn't crazy anymore. Then, that was replaced with sadness and the fact that I had a disease that would need meds for the rest of my life. Off topic, you stated " rapid aging " . What do you mean. It's funny you say that because my family has been blessed with looking really young beyond their years. I have been told I look like a college student. Well, not anymore, but a few years back. Now I look in the mirror and I see a worn out ragged 30 something. I literally look like crap without make-up. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I have acne now (which I know is because of the Hashi's and that I am not on the correct dosage). I called the endo last week to tell them that I was slipping back into hypo, and she finally called me back exactly one week later. She said that the doctor will probably want me to wait the next 3 weeks out before retesting. SO, I have to sit and wait and look like crap with thick dry skin patches all over my body and face, acne, carpel tunnel in my wrist and behind my knee, chronic back pain etc... This is BullS*%T. I am also in the processing of selling my house and packing. My husband needs my help. How the heck am I going to be able to do that? I also have the babies to tend with. Okay, sorry for verbally barfing, but this really does suck. When was the last time you were tested? Can you take 1/4 more a day during the high stress time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 Yes, so so sad. Even my dh looses patience with me sometimes. Another sad thing is how many people put all their faith in doctors and never really get help. I afraid my dh is falling into that category....... Debbie K. Re: Worst part of it yes, I agree with that totally Lynda (in the UK) Worst part of it You know what the worst part is to me? That no one believes how badly we feel or how long we have felt this way. We are treated like we are nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 When I was still employed, my boss used to drive me nuts. Every morning he would say " you look better today " I felt like % & *% every day and I told him so more than once. DH, on the other hand, just totally ignores whatever I say about how bad I feel. Lynda RE: Worst part of it Yes, so so sad. Even my dh looses patience with me sometimes. Another sad thing is how many people put all their faith in doctors and never really get help. I afraid my dh is falling into that category....... Debbie K. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 > > OK, first and foremost, buy the best exfoliating cremes and lotions. I use a heavy scrub on my body and face 3 days a week. Next, Imoved] I am pretty up on facial exfoliating and I agree, however, since I got realy bad (with the hypo and all), my dermabrasion brush and crystals don't seem to work anymore. I use a fruit scrub every morning and a natural clay mask for the problem areas (to suck up extra oil secretions). They just aren't cutting it anymore - it's so weird. I have tried alpha-hydrox creams and glycolic acid peels, and they are too harsh on my skin. They just exacerbate the problem and leave my skin even more dry and patchy, so I no longer use them. Some people get great benefit from those. I just think I need to get my meds under control and that should help tremendously. I have a question., If I start the Armour on my own, what do I say to my new doctor once we have moved? We were looking at moving to Cincinnati, but this past weekend revealed that we would not be able to afford it. We looked at some homes and it was pitiful. SO, I think we are thinking about moving back to Houston. This may actually be a blessing in disguise because the warmer weather is better for skin and the " cold " hand and feet thing. ANyway, I am worried that the doctor is going to get mad at me for self treating. The doctor that I would like to go to in Houston (in the event that we move back there), is one who treats with Armour. What do you think? Thanks bunches!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 Switch Dr's? Is this an HMO? If so, you can switch to someone else as you pcp. Glycholic is harsh for many skins. It is great for me. Use fine ground corn meal as a scrub. Mix with yogurt as a thick paste and wash with that. Do not rinse. Apply the mask leave for 30 minutes. For a mask, use yogurt, honey and egg yolk. Put a mixture of 3 aspirin and 1/4 cup lemon juice on a q-tip. Dab on zits. Wait 15 minutes then rinse off. Keep lemon juice zit stuff in Fridge. Replace every 4 days. Cheap enough. Clay is too drying, starts a cycle of oil trapped under skin. Buy a moisturizer that has no lanolin and no mineral oil. Dry skin makes the breakouts worse. If you decided to self medicate, you just tell your new DR that you are on Armour, period. Are you getting all current copies of all tests? Re: Worst part of it > > OK, first and foremost, buy the best exfoliating cremes and lotions. I use a heavy scrub on my body and face 3 days a week. Next, Imoved] I am pretty up on facial exfoliating and I agree, however, since I got realy bad (with the hypo and all), my dermabrasion brush and crystals don't seem to work anymore. I use a fruit scrub every morning and a natural clay mask for the problem areas (to suck up extra oil secretions). They just aren't cutting it anymore - it's so weird. I have tried alpha-hydrox creams and glycolic acid peels, and they are too harsh on my skin. They just exacerbate the problem and leave my skin even more dry and patchy, so I no longer use them. Some people get great benefit from those. I just think I need to get my meds under control and that should help tremendously. I have a question., If I start the Armour on my own, what do I say to my new doctor once we have moved? We were looking at moving to Cincinnati, but this past weekend revealed that we would not be able to afford it. We looked at some homes and it was pitiful. SO, I think we are thinking about moving back to Houston. This may actually be a blessing in disguise because the warmer weather is better for skin and the " cold " hand and feet thing. ANyway, I am worried that the doctor is going to get mad at me for self treating. The doctor that I would like to go to in Houston (in the event that we move back there), is one who treats with Armour. What do you think? Thanks bunches!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 If you decided to self medicate, you just tell your new DR that you are on Armour, period. Are you getting all current copies of all tests? " I am going to make sure that I get ll my labs so that the new doctor will have them for review. We are currently under cobra (Blue Cross) until my husband finds employment. I only had one endo group to choose from here in TN. We have a ppo with Blue Cross, but you still need a referal. SInce I lived in Houston only a year ago, I can probably have my old GP refer me to the endo of my choice in Houston. I guess it will all depend on what kind of insurance we get also. I am going to try your facial recipe. That sounds much less harsh. Yes, the dry skin just makes the pimples worse. I had flawless skin before all this, although I did have brief cyclical breakouts(they were mainly around my hairline and on my scalp), and interestingly enough, I was also experiencing fatigue, more heart palps, and chronic headaches during those times also. This is where I belive I have had Hashi's for many years, but my thyroid somehow kept sputtering back to life enough to feel normal again. I never had the acne this bad though. It is on my scalp, around my hairline where the hair is actually falling out, on my back (never had acne on my back), face (mainly forehead and around the nose area), and sometimes on my chest. I have these horrible thick patches of dry, scaly skin on my arms and legs. I had an under-the-skin acne pimple on my nose, and it dryed up, but it is so thick that it looks like the kind of dry skin you get when you get a bad sunburn on your nose. I know this is all descriptive and gross, but I have had the biscuit. How can one feel intimate with their husband when you feel and look like a lizard lol? Not to mention, how can he feel anything when I come to bed with a zillion green clay patches all over my zits. Plus, the sulfur smells like rotten eggs - WHAT A TURN OFF lol! P.S. thanks for the recipe. I will let you know how it goes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 YES! The depression, too........... Re: Here's one more Leila > > > HI, > > It's so hard for me to remember if I went hyper with the Hashi's, > but I think I probably did. I have always been thin. The symptoms > have waxed and waned for years. I mean, I really believe in my heart > of hearts that my problems becan around puberty. I remember one day > I went to a friends farm and went swimming in their pool. I got all > ichy and my eyes were ichy so bad. My nose started to run and I was > sneezing like crazy. That was the first time I had ever experienced > an allergy attack. My mom thought I was allergic to the hay, ever > since that day I had horrible allergies. This came right out of the > blue. I had been tested at 5 for allergies (you know, those old > tested with dye and a zillion needles they stick in your back). I > had no known allergies then. Anyway, I have an article that states > that allergies are common with Hashi's patients. One year after the > allergies started, I got my first heart palpitation...and symptoms > accumulated from then on. I asked the endo and he dismissed it and > said that Hashi's is a progressive disease. He didn't seem to > believe me when I said I have had symptoms that have waxed and waned > for around 15-17 years. I guess it is all in my head. It always was. > So darn frustrating! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 For me, I'd have to say it was the loss of myself.... I was a single gal with my own home, a good job, and was a body builder. I designed and built a solar greenhouse, tended my gardens, was involved in clubs (greenhouse and bird) had pets, had friends, had a life..... Now... all that is gone. Things that I earned over my life time are all gone, including many of my friends, those that didnt' understand what was happening (heck I didn't either) and blamed me for being lazy and irresponsible.... Now I have new friends that I met while I was at my worst and are now watching me come back.... It's awesome to see them and have them comment on how much I've changed, how much more fun I am..... I'm coming back.... Topper () On Tue, 2 Mar 2004 06:14:02 -0800 " JAMY " writes: > > I have had people ask me about the disease. They said if you could > pick one thing that is the worst part of it, what would you say. I > thought about the fatigue, the loss of my long beautiful hair and > nails, the fact that I am obese now. I even considered the aches and > pains, the rapid aging, the knowing that if you have a thyroid > disease you may be turned down for life insurance which to me points > to the fact that science knows it is killing us slowly. You know > what the worst part is to me? That no one believes how badly we feel > or how long we have felt this way. We are treated like we are nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 Jeez Topper, that is so sad . It is great that you are getting your life back. Better now than never. Good for you for taking control of it. I thought about you when my endo said that a person without a thyroid does just fine on T4 meds alone. What an arrogant jerk. I guess he would call " wel " l someone on crutches and barely able to get around? Jeez! You are my inspiration you know . Have a great day! -- In NaturalThyroidHormones , topper2@j... wrote: > For me, I'd have to say it was the loss of myself.... > > I was a single gal with my own home, a good job, and was a body builder. > I designed and built a solar greenhouse, tended my gardens, was involved > in clubs (greenhouse and bird) had pets, had friends, had a life..... > Now... all that is gone. Things that I earned over my life time are all > gone, including many of my friends, those that didnt' understand what was > happening (heck I didn't either) and blamed me for being lazy and > irresponsible.... > > Now I have new friends that I met while I was at my worst and are now > watching me come back.... It's awesome to see them and have them comment > on how much I've changed, how much more fun I am..... > > I'm coming back.... > > Topper () > > On Tue, 2 Mar 2004 06:14:02 -0800 " JAMY " <jamyrogers@m...> > writes: > > > > I have had people ask me about the disease. They said if you could > > pick one thing that is the worst part of it, what would you say. I > > thought about the fatigue, the loss of my long beautiful hair and > > nails, the fact that I am obese now. I even considered the aches and > > pains, the rapid aging, the knowing that if you have a thyroid > > disease you may be turned down for life insurance which to me points > > to the fact that science knows it is killing us slowly. You know > > what the worst part is to me? That no one believes how badly we feel > > or how long we have felt this way. We are treated like we are nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 >You know what the worst part is to me? That no one believes how >badly we feel or how long we have felt this way. We are treated like >we are nuts. That is EXACTLY true and well said. I went YEARS having the most bizarre reaction to any kind of exercise and activity, and it was VERY embarrassing because I was otherwise so healthy! Janie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 , you vent all you want. How frustrating that the Endo waits ONE week to call you back, then expects you to wait 3 more weeks??? And even worse, to base a rise in meds on LABS??? Give me a break. Your SYMPTOMS SCREAM for more meds. That is EXACTLY why so many folks here self-treat, and why I always have an extra bottle on hand. Maybe you need a better doc..... you hang in there. We're behind you. Janie >I called the endo last week to tell them > that I was slipping back into hypo, and she finally called me back > exactly one week later. She said that the doctor will probably want > me to wait the next 3 weeks out before retesting. SO, I have to sit > and wait and look like crap with thick dry skin patches all over my > body and face, acne, carpel tunnel in my wrist and behind my knee, > chronic back pain etc... This is BullS*%T. I am also in the > processing of selling my house and packing. My husband needs my > help. How the heck am I going to be able to do that? I also have the babies to tend with. Okay, sorry for verbally barfing, but this > really does suck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 > What was your reaction to exercise? A fast heartrate that would stay high for hours afterward. Fatigue so profound that I would almost be nauseated. Terrible insomnia. Profound sweating when I went to bed and feel VERY hot. Waking up the next day feeling like I had been run over by a mack truck. Over 20 years of this. Janie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 For me...Its been hard because I went Hypo well PG with my kids and I was really good about eating three good meals and good snacks daily , for the first time in my life!! Before getting PG , I would skip meals like crazy...When I got PG I took care of myself for the first time in my life....and I get sick...really sick!! Go figure! Now that my baby is 2 , I'm still holding the pounds on and I feel like my friends and some family think I use Hypo as an excuse for the PG weight. I know if I didn't have this...I would already be back to the old me. By the way , I'm on my way back to the old me...I have been taking the natural meds. and more for 2 weeks . I have lost 9 pounds!!!!!! loboshe wrote: >You know what the worst part is to me? That no one believes how >badly we feel or how long we have felt this way. We are treated like >we are nuts. That is EXACTLY true and well said. I went YEARS having the most bizarre reaction to any kind of exer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 I'm glad you are doing better... I think about your comment about friends...new and old. I have a hard time seeing old friends because I know they are wondering what the heck happened to me . When I make new ones I find myself explaining why I'm tired or not working out all the time , or some times pulling out old ( 4 years ) pictures of myself...saying....see this is me!! > happening (heck I didn't either) and blamed me for being lazy and > irresponsible.... > > Now I have new friends that I met while I was at my worst and are now > watching me come back.... It's awesome to see them and have them comment > on how much I've changed, how much more fun I am..... > > I'm coming back.... > > Topper () > > On Tue, 2 Mar 2004 06:14:02 -0800 " JAMY " <jamyrogers@m...> --------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 I understand completely. Exercise hurts. I would love to be able to run, but I feel like I'm beating up everything inside my body. It jars me to death. I couldn't run as a kid either. I also was think as a kid. I was made fun of for my lack of coordination, etc. I would love to love exercise jen What was your reaction to exercise? I'm so curious! No matter how much I work out or try to strengthen, I can't. I have no endurance. It's been this way since I was a kid. I remember being in 3rd grade and having to run the mile and running almost one lap and thinking I was going to die. I walked the rest and got made fun of. I have always been so thin, not heavy, so people think I am a freak. They're like " running is easy, keep doing it and you'll get better " but I spent months doing it and not improving, just feeling pain in my legs and neck and throat and heart. Leila Armush Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2004 Report Share Posted March 3, 2004 run? run!?? Some days I can hardly walk Lynda (in the UK) RE: Re: Worst part of it I understand completely. Exercise hurts. I would love to be able to run, but I feel like I'm beating up everything inside my body. It jars me to death. I couldn't run as a kid either. I also was think as a kid. I was made fun of for my lack of coordination, etc. I would love to love exercise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2004 Report Share Posted March 3, 2004 I came home from exercising and wrapped myself up in a blanket and feel into a deep coma like sleep for 4 hours. Re: Worst part of it >You know what the worst part is to me? That no one believes how >badly we feel or how long we have felt this way. We are treated like >we are nuts. That is EXACTLY true and well said. I went YEARS having the most bizarre reaction to any kind of exercise and activity, and it was VERY embarrassing because I was otherwise so healthy! Janie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2004 Report Share Posted March 3, 2004 I will dig them out over the weekend. Jamy Patient Advocate/Board Member American Thyroid Patients Website:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/California_Thyroid_Groups/ Re: Worst part of it I so agree. When I finally got test results in for the first time revealing the thyroid problem, I was giddy, happy and dancing around. I finally felt like I wasn't crazy anymore. Then, that was replaced with sadness and the fact that I had a disease that would need meds for the rest of my life. Off topic, you stated " rapid aging " . What do you mean. It's funny you say that because my family has been blessed with looking really young beyond their years. I have been told I look like a college student. Well, not anymore, but a few years back. Now I look in the mirror and I see a worn out ragged 30 something. I literally look like crap without make-up. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I have acne now (which I know is because of the Hashi's and that I am not on the correct dosage). I called the endo last week to tell them that I was slipping back into hypo, and she finally called me back exactly one week later. She said that the doctor will probably want me to wait the next 3 weeks out before retesting. SO, I have to sit and wait and look like crap with thick dry skin patches all over my body and face, acne, carpel tunnel in my wrist and behind my knee, chronic back pain etc... This is BullS*%T. I am also in the processing of selling my house and packing. My husband needs my help. How the heck am I going to be able to do that? I also have the babies to tend with. Okay, sorry for verbally barfing, but this really does suck. When was the last time you were tested? Can you take 1/4 more a day during the high stress time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2004 Report Share Posted March 3, 2004 It is hard... if what was wrong with us actually showed I think it would be more easily accepted by others... but it doesn't show.. it is something the effects how we feel and how are bodies work and heal and none of that shows.... Pity part time... so if you'd rather not join... you can skip the rest of this one.... You know, I look back at my life and all that I did, and I look at me now, living with my dad - 46 years old and lost everything.. now trying to get a life back. Folks around me ask what my problem is. I've been told that if you got that far before, why the heck are you doing now? I had a talk with my last boss.. she lost her job too when the company we worked for folded. She's retired, she was old enough. I was telling her about my walk last week. She gasped! She was the boss that I worked for during that period when I was on crutches..she saw me crawling in to work everyday, knowing how hard it was for me to do, and I never missed a day. I was always there and did my job. But she also knew that I'd sit at my work station the whole shift, only leaving to go to the bathroom or to eat at break... Sometimes I wouldn't even leave to go to the break room. I eat at my station to avoid the walk. She has some health problems too, she's had a quadruple by pass since we've been out of work, had two strokes while in the hospital recovering from that surgery and was diagnosed with diabetes. We talk maybe 3 or 4 times a year now... and as we talked last night and I told her what I've been up to since my great shift in October (when I switched to the mini meals) I told her that I'd been secretly exercising since last April and how that was all coming and she just kept doing 'wows'. She wants us to get together and talk about how she is doing. Wants to see if I can help her to make adjustments in what she's doing to feel better, to get motivated. She remembers how I was sucking on pop all day long.. and I was the one that started the candy dish in our department... I ate candies all the time.... The changes that I've made in my life are not all that terribly profound... but they've made a difference in me and my life... How I've changed is suddenly showing up in how others see me and react to me. I'm seeing that same sudden shift in those around me now - to the positive, that I saw years ago - to the negative.... It makes me angry. Friends and family are supposed to love us for who we are. But with this thyroid [insert proper derogatory four letter word hear] the ME inside of us changes. And the people around us see that change when we are getting sicker and sicker but they don't read it as the disease or disorder making us feel that way, they read it as a personality shift or change of attitude or something and condemn us for it... At a time when we so badly need support and understanding from those folks that we care about and trust we get all this negativity. They call us lazy, irresponsible. They say we are depressed over some event, for me it was a guy walking out of my life, and they say that all the crap that you are going through is depression because of that event and tell you to just 'grow up and get over it'.... I thought a lot of what I was feeling was a reaction to what that guy did..... and what he did, did affect me... but most of the way that I was feeling, the depression, the physical pain, the lost of the lust for life.. that wasn't him... that was being out of meds and everything that my body was going through over the months and years that I had no meds... .... the more time that past... the more I was put down for 'not getting over him' That doesn't do much for your 'self' with all the other crap that we deal with - all the thyroid crap. (for those that aren't familiar with that story - it ties in with the time line of all of this in that he tossed me just two weeks before I ran out of meds and was to be going on his insurance. So I went into the 'end of relationship with true love shock' and from there went into a continuing hypo hell - no meds and having to continue with life. To be fair, I thought a lot of the depression was from the lost relationship. I didn't even know where that ended and hypo hell took over. But I know now, looking back... But still... friends walked away, turned their backs and left me all alone. Alone and getting sicker and sicker everyday.... But, darned it! I'm coming back! I'm gonna be ME again. And when/if they crawl back, sucking up and such... it might just be my turn to turn my back on them. end of pity party... time for breakfast - my thyroid is all dissolved and I'm starved! hehehehhehehe Topper () On Tue, 2 Mar 2004 19:33:19 -0800 (PST) john and christina barry writes: > I'm glad you are doing better... I think about your comment about > friends...new and old. I have a hard time seeing old friends because > I know they are wondering what the heck happened to me . When I make > new ones I find myself explaining why I'm tired or not working out > all the time , or some times pulling out old ( 4 years ) pictures of > myself...saying....see this is me!! 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