Guest guest Posted July 31, 2004 Report Share Posted July 31, 2004 Hi , Here is my advice, take a deep breath and when someone stares ugly just start talking to Jaxon and smiling and kissing on him so people can realize that YOUR child is cute and adorable and loving in everyway. You would be surprised how that can turn some people's stares into smiles. I don't know where you live but I bet I've seen a dozen banded babies in my area and sometimes when I was out with my son, someone would stare for a minute and then come up and tell me their banded story. There will always be some idiots out there, try not to let them rile you up, their are more good people then bad in my opinion. Some people just need to be educated, if the staring really bothers you, then you might ask them, " are you curious, would you like to know why he is wearing this? It is because...... " . Natasha --- In Plagiocephaly , " " <travisdgumm@y...> wrote: > This may be off subject but I just got back from taking my son, > Jaxon, to Home Depot to buy a router. It was pretty crowded and I > could not help but see the stares and hear the comments. I got > pretty irritated and made some counter remarks to people (not sure > if that was appropriate- his mom would kill me if I got in a brawl > at the store....again) Anyway what do you guys do about the > comments/stares- Any help would be great > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2004 Report Share Posted July 31, 2004 Hi there I know where you are coming from. The first few times I went out with my daughter I really noticed the stares a lot- I felt self- conscious, but quickly realised that she didn't and that in the main people are staring because of curiosity rather than anything else. Who of us hasn't done a double-take or glanced at someone with say a birthmark on their face, or burns, or any kind of 'difference'? It's not nasty, but people are hard-wired to notice difference (which is why kids say in a really loud voice 'why is that baby wearing that funny thing mummy?'). Of course polite and well-brought up people then simply look away or smile rather than carry on staring, but not everyone is well-brought up... Now I just go about my business, don't look to se if anyone is staring, smile if I catch anyone's eye and thank my lucky stars that my daughter is being stared at on a temporary basis at a time in her life when she is blissfully unaware (or thinks they are being friendly). Not everyone has that luxury I guess. Keep up the going out and about and it will get easier- soon you just won't give a monkeys! Hannah (mum to Lucia, UK) --- In Plagiocephaly , " " <travisdgumm@y...> wrote: > This may be off subject but I just got back from taking my son, > Jaxon, to Home Depot to buy a router. It was pretty crowded and I > could not help but see the stares and hear the comments. I got > pretty irritated and made some counter remarks to people (not sure > if that was appropriate- his mom would kill me if I got in a brawl > at the store....again) Anyway what do you guys do about the > comments/stares- Any help would be great > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2004 Report Share Posted July 31, 2004 Been there, believe me! The absolute best thing to do is assume the comments and stares are the " Awww, what a darling! " variety. I promise you, they are. People see an adorable baby in an unusual helmet (or a brace, or a cast) and they find themselves hoping the baby is okay, and praying for it, and wishing they could say something that might help. People have a very strong instinct to help babies, and the only thing they can do in such a circumstance is say something or try to indicate to you that they care--often by staring and hoping you will initiate a conversation so they can find out if the baby is okay. It surprises me how many people have poor social skills and don't know how to just say, " I hope I am not intruding, and I don't mean to be rude, I just think your baby is beautiful and I hope he's okay " or something like that. Instead they say loudly from thirty feet away, " Look, he's wearing a helmet! " Your response might be " Duh! " or it could me, " Yes, it's his special helmet. He loves it, don't you, peanut? " and then if you feel like it or have time, you can engage in the conversation they obviously want to have. Several times someone has come up to me, and I have steeled myself for an inappropriate comment, and they have asked why he's wearing the helmet (which is really none of their business--not an appropriate social question, right?). But I met a new friend that way. Her son has a significant deformity, and if she hadn't met me and found a way to ask about my son, her son would still not be getting treatment. So hang in there! Take deep breaths, stick a smile on your face even when you feel offended, and try to understand their point of view. People can be rude, and it isn't usually because they have mean thoughts. They just don't know the right thing to say and they really want the best for your baby. You sound like a remarkable Dad, by the way. , 20 mos, tort, DOC Band 5/7 --- In Plagiocephaly , " " <travisdgumm@y...> wrote: > This may be off subject but I just got back from taking my son, > Jaxon, to Home Depot to buy a router. It was pretty crowded and I > could not help but see the stares and hear the comments. I got > pretty irritated and made some counter remarks to people (not sure > if that was appropriate- his mom would kill me if I got in a brawl > at the store....again) Anyway what do you guys do about the > comments/stares- Any help would be great > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2004 Report Share Posted August 1, 2004 Hi, When my daughter was banded I had the same problems with people. It really got to me at first but this is how I dealt with it.... When someone would stare at my daughter and be rude about it I would just look at them and say " Well you know the Dr decided that my daughter needed this helmet because I drop her on her head alot and he thinks it is safer this way. What do you think about that? " lol Their responses were so comical. After they gave me a response I told them why she had to wear it. I would also add that when someone looks different they should ask instead of making a fool of themselves by staring and making comments. THis worked out well for me. I just loved it when I would tell them about the whole dropping her on their head thing because it was hilarious to see thier response and it made them feel like an idiot too. By the way everyone Tori graduated from her band about 6 weeks ago, her head is perfect now and I am so thankful that we banded her. Tina , Ft Knox, KY mother of Tori (torticollis) --- In Plagiocephaly , " " <travisdgumm@y...> wrote: > This may be off subject but I just got back from taking my son, > Jaxon, to Home Depot to buy a router. It was pretty crowded and I > could not help but see the stares and hear the comments. I got > pretty irritated and made some counter remarks to people (not sure > if that was appropriate- his mom would kill me if I got in a brawl > at the store....again) Anyway what do you guys do about the > comments/stares- Any help would be great > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2004 Report Share Posted August 2, 2004 I'm sorry to hear that this happened. I quickly read your post and then we too, had to go to Home Depot! So I was nervous but I also read the other's posts abot just acting very lovey/kissy with your child so that's what I did/ someone was looking at talking quietly to her friend and then a few minutes later she commented on my son's beautiful eyes. Is that your son with the blue Starband? If so, he is absolutely squeezably cute! Sue Colin F. 10 mos. Starband 6/29 Buffalo, NY --- In Plagiocephaly , " " <travisdgumm@y...> wrote: > This may be off subject but I just got back from taking my son, > Jaxon, to Home Depot to buy a router. It was pretty crowded and I > could not help but see the stares and hear the comments. I got > pretty irritated and made some counter remarks to people (not sure > if that was appropriate- his mom would kill me if I got in a brawl > at the store....again) Anyway what do you guys do about the > comments/stares- Any help would be great > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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