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Mi Madre

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Hi Folks, you can call me Joe, thats my real name! Hi Connie, thanks for

introducing this group to me! Anyhow, even though I can sometimes see my madre

as sick, some people would say Im sick too, but I don't feel that way. I'm

constantly trying to meet people like my colleagues at Argosy U. I feel the

need to really get this solid in my head that Moms got some serious issues.

Like for instance, tonight madre saw fit to berate me about not doing the dishes

tonight, even though she gave me no time to do it. She would be happy if it

were IMMEDIATELY! Anyhow, this was after I got up this morning, late, and washed

the clothes, put mine away, folded the towels, threw out the trash, got her

coffee after she got up around 3:00, had my breakfast shake, worked on the

computer paying bills, etc, then finally I watched some TV and had dinner. THen

I studied for 3 hours and after I had two bong hits and went back to watching TV

till now.

Why is it I feel the need to JUSTIFY myself!?!

Anyhow, she went back to yelling at me after a short tiff this morning. I try to

not let it upset me. Everyone I've known thats known her and me has said

countless times that she is very difficult to get along with, sick, disturbed,

impossible, including family on both sides! Even society! At this point I'm

learning! But I can't allow myself to justify letting her be homeless again.

She lost our house in 1998 by hiring unscrupulous criminals to remodel the

house. After I injured my back at work, I was homeless, going from hospitals, to

group homes, and finally until 3 years later in an assisted living facility

while I waited to get my disability settlement with an income of $140 bucks a

month before it came.

I feel very blessed now as I am pursuing my dream of becoming a psychotherapist!

Don't laugh, I'm serious! Now I got her out of homelessness and we finally got

our first apartment together after all this other stuff took place. I'm seeing

a psychologist right now. I have to lose weight if I'm going to attract to me

whom I'm really interested in. I've had a great week, except for the constant

berating with moments of joking and earlier this week she hugged me like six

times one day.

How to I find deep peace again?

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