UPDATE:Re: Nervous about making a NADA decision.

[Guest guest]

WOW kyjohnson, THANK YOU for your encouragment and the acknowledgement! I never

thought I would be able to live through this, but I have.

I'm glad you have gotten something out of my story....it cheers me up. I HAVE

been feeling strange and unsettled for the past several days. It's been a week

since I've seen her, so maybe I'll start chilling out. lol.

Are you in KY?

~Sara Jo

> > >

> > > I'm going to travel next week to visit my aunt whom I have recently

recconected with. My nada lives in the same town. I haven't seen nada in over 2

years, and the few communications we've had since then have not been good.

> > >

> > > I am considering calling my nada when I'm in town to let her know that I

am there, and to see if she wants to have a cup of coffee or something.

> > > I am afraid, though.

> > > Some things I'm afraid of:

> > > My sister is down there with nada for the holidays and will be there

during my visit. I fear her scrutinization. She has not wanted much of a

relationship with me because I choose to stay away from nada, and because I have

a relationship with our father whom we were estranged from for almost 15 years.

I also fear that she might be angry because I didn't tell her my plans to come

down there, she may use that as ammunition against me in some way.....

> > >

> > > Another thing I'm afraid of, is that I only want to have a brief meeting

with her, coffee, a chat.....catch up. I'm afraid nada won't see that as enough,

and will be angry/jealous that Iam spending so much time with my aunt and uncle

(who she is also angry with already).

> > >

> > > Another things I'm afraid of is that she will be angry with me for not

telling her ahead of time that I was coming to town.

> > >

> > > I am also afraid of starting MORE trouble between nada and my aunt. They

aren't really talking right now, and my presence might cause some friction.

> > >

> > > One last thing I am afraid of is that this little meeting will not have a

good outcome.......It is difficult for me to handle nasty emails and phone calls

from her, how will I handle it in person? I am afraid of losing it, that just

like in the past, that I will instantly turn into a 5 year old again and just

let her say whatever she wants to me.

> > >

> > > I think it is soo sad that I am AFRAID of seeing my MOTHER. I hate the

holidays because of stuff like this. But yet I miss her. Glutton for punishment

I guess.

> > >

> > > Have you ever had to deal with something like this? What did you

decide?What was the outcome like? How did you handle it?

> > >

> > > Your thoughts are heavily appreciated. Happy Holidays.

> > >

> > > ~Sara jo

> > >

> >

>