Victimiation

[Guest guest]

I want to word this properly, but if it doesn't come out right, sorry -- my

thoughts are a little jumbled today.

Do BPD and victimzation go hand in hand?

I ask because I was thinking of some things my mother used to do before she

died and it seems she was always the victim to someone else; however, she

also seemed to set herself up to be victimized.

Now, I'm not saying she deserved it or anything, but my therapist told me

that a lot of times borderlines' worst fears come true because they set

themselves up for abandonment and victimization.

So I wonder how many of you had mothers who were always 'victims' (if even

in their own eyes)?

My mother was soooooooooo victim-ish and I cannot begin to describe how

much I loathe being around someone who has a victim-like attitude. IT DRIVES

ME CRAZY.

With that said, my mother did tend to be victimized by people. My dad

cheated on her, her friends gossiped about her and she'd end up getting hurt,

her brother wouldn't speak to her, her mother acted like she hated her, and

on and on and on. And then she had the " feel sorry for me " attitude as well.

My mother always wanted someone to have sympathy for her, feel sorry for

her.... empathize, I guess. But it was annoying as hell and it was like her

personality was just beaten down, downtrodden, depressed, " blue " and

nothing else. Then she got sick with emphysema and believe me...if you think

they're borderline when they're physically well, you haven't seen anything

until they get a terminal illness. Oh.my.stars. She was worse than my

grandmother (who was also bpd) ever dreamed of being.

So does your bpd parent get victimized or do you believe it's all their

distorted perceptions?