a blog about cultic family dynamics

December 26, 2009

Here's an excerpt from a blog about " The Cultic Family " . The dysfunctional

dynamics described are eerily similar to those in families where one or both

parents have a personality disorder. (surprise, surprise!)

*****

Definition of a Family Cult:

A family cult is a high-demand family group which operates by incorporating

authoritarian control, thought reform, and other cult means with spiritual abuse

and emotional abuse. While physical, sexual, and intellectual abuse also feature

quite prominently in many family cults, they need not always be present to

qualify as such.

Of a more sinister and potentially destructive nature than the traditionally

understood cult is the one-on-one, relationship, or family cult. Due to bonds

one is born into, family cults differ from others physically, emotionally,

spiritually, and psychologically. Even one-on-one relationships, like marriage

or employee / employer encounter unique dynamics which form through legal or

sexual union. I have outlined some of these differences below:

~Biological/Physical differences between family and non-family cults:

Although nearly every cultic group considers itself a family of its own, it is

one thing to call someone your father, sister, mother, brother - and another to

actually be connected biologically. The repercussions are staggering. As

children, we have very specific needs designed to be met through a healthy,

functional family system. Anytime dysfunction occurs, even within " normal "

families, we sustain harm to our person-hood; the degree of damage in direct

correlation to the scope of dysfunction. This, compounded by the complex

integration of thought reform, totalitarianism, and authoritarian control,

subjects cult-reared children seeking amelioration to overwhelming hardship.

For a child, lack of informed consent to such a life in the beginning - and lack

of pre-cult identity - complicates healing while multiplying confusion,

helplessness, and other injurious disorders.

Those born and raised within a cultic environment find that the ramifications of

an anomalous (abnormal, deviant) family pose exhaustive challenges to survival,

exit, and recovery. In addition, those who leave traditional cults often find

relatives who accept them " home " with open arms, supporting recovery, and

assisting in practical matters of daily life while the ex-cult member gets back

on her feet.

Those who leave a family cult essentially become cut off from their very own

blood.

If they (the cultic family of origin) lived in isolation, supportive or

understanding friends may be rare, and the individual experiences extreme

difficulty establishing autonomy, seeking recovery, and reconciling what feels

like utter betrayal or even covert incest, akin to soul or spiritual rape.

**********

Here's the link to the blog if you'd like to read more:

http://ellenryancole.blogspot.com/

-Annie

December 26, 2009

My best friend in high school was from a family like this. I mean, my family

seemed normal compared to them. They eventually got into being born again

christians and identified me as the *devil* (I had a pet goat was one indicator

to them). Meanwhile, I was more the sane friend and I would protect my friend

when she would over indulge in alcohol or pot; I would always do the driving.

They really really messed her up. So much so that she eventually abandoned our

friendship (after she secretly slept with two boyfriends I had). She was a

betrayer to me but we were so enmeshed. But I could clearly see her family was

seriously messed up.

~patricia

a blog about " cultic family " dynamics