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TGIF/Scientific Discovery

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>

> >

> > Subject: Scientific Discovery

> >

> > Researchers find new element, the world's heaviest

> >

> > BUFFALO, New York (AP) -- Researchers at the University of Buffalo recently

> > discovered the heaviest element known to science: administratium.

> > Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons

and

> > 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

> >

> > These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which is

> > surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since

> > administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected

> > because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A

minute

> > amount of administratium causes one reaction to take more than four days to

> > complete when it would normally take less than one second.

> >

> > Administratium has a normal half-life of three years. It does not decay

but,

> > instead, undergoes a reorganization, in which a number of the assistant

> > neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.

> > In fact, administratium's mass will actually increase over time as each

> > reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes.

> >

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