Hello BC2ers

[Guest guest]

Hi BC2ers:

I don't know why my lines run together and I don't know why my links don't come

through, sorry.

Hi W.

Welcome. I got a lot out of reading. One book was very helpful, it was called

something like " Take Charge of Your Breast Cancer. " I appreciated its attitude

that you get to have input into the decision-making.

For all my brave talk, I didn't or don't always hold up well in every situation.

My cat died during my chemo treatments. I was lucky, my sister had been stopping

by to take care of her on a daily basis, so I know she wasn't totally alone

while I was at my mother's. I was with her the day she died. I got to show her I

loved her. I cried for days and it was grief over losing her and grief that I

wasn't really there for her during her last few weeks. She was a good cat,

better than I am a human.

Hi Tom--

Wow, all those happy events and then cancer.

My approach is not everyone's approach. I took a realistic

approach. First, I read as much as I could to get a handle on what all this

meant. Then, I decided to deal with the worst possible scenario first. I wanted

to make decisions while I felt good. Got a will drawn up, got an advance medical

directive, and talked with family members. Then, I choose to focus on the best

possible outcome. I try to inject more joy, more love, more fun into my daily

life. I am unearthing the hidden comedian in me. I have drawn up a wish list of

things I'd like to do in my lifetime and I focus on achieving those wishes.

Life's little frustrations do crowd in sometimes.

I am currently in radiation and while it makes for a long day, it's better than

chemo. I have more energy and feel like myself. I don't dwell on the cancer. I

continue to read and do research on new therapies. I've got five years of

tamoxifen to go. But, hey, five years, that's great.

Tom, I think it's great that you are so supportive of your wife. I just read

your post about how to handle communication. I think you are already doing what

you need to do. You made your point of view about the situation clear without

anger. The two of you talked about how you differed in your interpretation of

the issue that bothered you. It's sounds silly but rehashing miscommunication

can help future communications. I have similar issues with my sister who is

living with me temporarily. We have to talk over such little things its funny,

like where to put the kitchen trash can. Who would have thought that would

warrant a major discussion? Anyway, because we do talk over things like that we

better understand how the other person hears us and vice versa.

By the way, ditto for me on all those compliments, you are sweet.

Hi --

Believe it or not, I wish I had had a bilateral masectomy. But, I also know it

is a very personal choice.

When I say I read alot, I really read a lot, plus, I searched the internet and

pubmed at the National Library of Medicine. I would look for pictures too,

because I needed to see illustrations of what was being described to me.

Try the American Cancer Society, I hear they have a hotline for people with

questions. I read some of their literature.

I was lucky, every opportunity I had I would question the doctor, nurse, or

technician. I would ask the same question over and over trying to make sure I

understood the term, technique, or treatment. I would also write down what I was

told. I kept a journal in the beginning, to help sort out all the terminology. I

just now reread my diagnosis using a magazine article on how to read your

diagnosis. I reread things.

By the way, I now get " Cure " magazine. It's free to cancer patients, survivors,

and caregivers (www.curetoday.com) and they are advertising a " First Patient &

Survivor Forum " in Dallas, TX, May 22-23, 2004. I am going to try and go. They

will have medical speakers on the latest treatments and also workshops/panels on

the psycho/social issues of living with cancer.

As a teaser, I'd be nowhere in this battle without " Shahrukh Khan. "

Take care, happy holidays to everyone and have a joyous new year. Love, Luck,

and Laughter, Marsha

" We must respect our Mother, the Earth, or we can never grow as human beings,

her children. " --Phil Lane, Sr., Yankton Lakota Elder

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