Guest guest Posted January 4, 2004 Report Share Posted January 4, 2004 JR, I will continue to keep both you and Rena in my prayers. My husband has a group on the internet for caregivers of breast cancer patients and also friends or relatives. In there you can share everything without having to worry about talking in front of the patient. If you would like the url please let me know. Not all breast cancer patients die from the disease. I will be a 14 yr survivor in May and was told that there was a 60% chance I might not make it to 14yrs. But here I am! Hugs nne Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html Check out my breast cancer ornaments at:http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlalso check out my other ornaments and lots of nice gifts at:http://www.cancerclub.com Rena Hello everyone, I hope the new year is proving to be to be a good one and if not, I hope it improves soon. As for us, Rena's last chemo is proving to be harder on her than the first three, but this was her last chemo. She has 30 radiation treatments to endure and possibly her ovaries to be removed, then she can start to recover once and for all. When we first met with the onc, he told us the treatments would seem to last forever, but to remember that just as they have a beginning, they also have an ending. We have held on to this, counting the treatments, the scans, the blood tests, the consultations and counting the treatments that are left. As I look at Rena, as I hold her while she sleeps, it hurts me that this is one thing I can't fix for her, it hurts that I can't take her place. As hard as this has been on Rena (the entire family), I know many of you has been through worse. I am so proud of my two sons and their girlfriends. They have really been great to Rena, teasing and picking when it is time to play, but still being supportive the whole time. We realy are lucky and at times, we have to force ourselves to remember that. Last night, as I held her, I ventured into the "Mental No-Mans Land", I was thinking of how our lives has changed, how Rena's life and health would be deferant. As a Mother, she was always looking after our children and their friends, as a wife, looking after me, as a RN looking after the sick, as a Christian, looking after the comunity by taking up collections and offering sipport for burned out families or just people in destress. Things really has changed for us and we have changed too. We will play the hand that was delt to us and be stronger for it, always remembering that we are lucky, it could have been a lot worse. As I told you before, my Mother and oldest sister had breast cancer, I saw the effects of it up close. My Mother died from a heart attack after the chemo damaged her heart, my sister fought the cancer for a couple of years before sucoming to it. I saw what they went through, but this is deferant, this is in my home, this is happing to my my wife, my compaion for life. My heart realy goes out to all you ladies that has indured these treatments and this desiease. I know in some ways, the treatments have gotten better over the years, but they have to get a lot better than than they are now. I know you get tired of hearing it, but try to remember "It could be worse" You being cancer survivers, makes you special and my heart goes out to all of you. Thank you for all your prayers, support and well-wishes. May the new year bring you happines & joy and Gods blessings to you all. .......JR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 Hey Marsha, I don't know how lucky she is, I think I drive her nuts at times, but thank you, I know I am lucky to have her. Rena said she is having a hard time trying to focus and absorb it all too. I think a lot of the people are calling it "Chemo Brain" I think a lot of it is stress though. I know my memory gets a little slack when I am under a lot of stress and it makes me want to do nothing. I only know how the stress of going through cancer and how the physical effects of the treatments effects a cancer patient through Rena and the post I read. I hope if it ever happens to me, I hope I can endure it like all of you have. When Rena was just starting into the treatments, she made me promise to a lot of "what Ifs" and "If this happens", I think her talking about those things was the toughest on me, I know it was tuff on her too, but I think she handled it better. You are strong to think about the advanced medical directive and your will so soon and I know you are right, it is better to take care of things up front. I have to think she is going to make a full recovery right now, thinking about the other is going to have to wait for now. I have been thinking about what Rena needs to do different in her life, like exercise, diet, etc, but it is so frustrating. We are moderate vegetarians, try to eat healthy, we use olive oil and butter instead of Canola and margarine, we don't use alcohol or drink coffee, we are careful what we consume and try to get enough exercise and so on. To my surprise, Rena showed me where she read that having two cups of coffee each day reduces your chance of bc! Rena asked me why we even try to be healthy, if it doesn't do any good. I told her it was better to have one illness than a lot of them, but still it is frustrating. We had steak two times in the last three months, I hope we don't get mad cows disease clogged arteries over it.........lol I am so glad Rena replied to the group last night. I think this is going to be a lot of support for her and hopefully for others. I must warn you though, when she starts feeling better, she will talk your ears off. At just three months into this and being sick most of the time, she has just begin to think of all the questions, side effects and her long term prognoses. Right now she is handling it a day at a time. Someone told her it would take a year to get completely over it. I think maybe they meant "over it as far as you can" Thanks to everyone for letting me join the group and now letting Rena join. I am not going to be on much now, so Rena can talk to the group without me reading everything she writes. I will keep be thinking about you all the time. Marsha, I hope you don't need the advanced directive and will for many years to come and I thank you for the reply. Keep your spirits up and may God bless you and keep you safe. ......JR JR and Rena Hi JR and Rena--Rena is lucky to have you JR.These posts are getting hard to read, or maybe today it's just hitting me differently. While I am doing alot of reading about breast cancer, it's hard to hold it all in your head and have it make a complete picture that makes sense.I was told I had a 70% chance of living 10 years. I don't know my stats for beating it altogether. My focus is pretty narrow, I was shooting for five years.I've already made my will and gotten an advance medical directive. The idea was get it out of the way now, so I don't have to think about it later.Once I learned the cancer could return, I realized I had to adopt a diffent way of looking at time. No more five-year plans. Even getting a car loan is a whole different ballgame. I guess what I am trying to do is live in the time I have rather than thinking about how much time I have left. I am sorry if this is confusing.You and Rena are brave, you are among friends here. Take care, Love, Luck and Laughter, Marsha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 This is mt thought on all the servey and research stuff. I think it depends on what company is paying for the testing on a certain food or beverage. One day coffee is bad another day its ok. Same with milk, pop, chocolate, just to name a few. Re: Rena To my surprise, Rena showed me where she read that having two cups of coffee each day reduces your chance of bc! Rena asked me why we even try to be healthy, if it doesn't do any good. I told her it was better to have one illness than a lot of them, but still it is frustrating. We had steak two times in the last three months, I hope we don't get mad cows disease clogged arteries over it.........lol ......JR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 Your input is good here so please do continue to come in. If you don't want to read her messages, just look at the line that says who has posted and you can skip them. We had one man who used to come in a lot " Bill " and he was a joy to have in the group. Another " Bob " also used to come in a good bit and I believe both men managed to liven up our chat room on the nights they came in. > Hey Marsha, > > I don't know how lucky she is, I think I drive her nuts at times, but thank you, I know I am lucky to have her. Rena said she is having a hard time trying to focus and absorb it all too. I think a lot of the people are calling it " Chemo Brain " I think a lot of it is stress though. I know my memory gets a little slack when I am under a lot of stress and it makes me want to do nothing. I only know how the stress of going through cancer and how the physical effects of the treatments effects a cancer patient through Rena and the post I read. I hope if it ever happens to me, I hope I can endure it like all of you have. > > When Rena was just starting into the treatments, she made me promise to a lot of " what Ifs " and " If this happens " , I think her talking about those things was the toughest on me, I know it was tuff on her too, but I think she handled it better. You are strong to think about the advanced medical directive and your will so soon and I know you are right, it is better to take care of things up front. I have to think she is going to make a full recovery right now, thinking about the other is going to have to wait for now. I have been thinking about what Rena needs to do different in her life, like exercise, diet, etc, but it is so frustrating. We are moderate vegetarians, try to eat healthy, we use olive oil and butter instead of Canola and margarine, we don't use alcohol or drink coffee, we are careful what we consume and try to get enough exercise and so on. To my surprise, Rena showed me where she read that having two cups of coffee each day reduces your chance of bc! Rena asked me why we even try to be healthy, if it doesn't do any good. I told her it was better to have one illness than a lot of them, but still it is frustrating. We had steak two times in the last three months, I hope we don't get mad cows disease clogged arteries over it.........lol > > I am so glad Rena replied to the group last night. I think this is going to be a lot of support for her and hopefully for others. I must warn you though, when she starts feeling better, she will talk your ears off. At just three months into this and being sick most of the time, she has just begin to think of all the questions, side effects and her long term prognoses. Right now she is handling it a day at a time. Someone told her it would take a year to get completely over it. I think maybe they meant " over it as far as you can " > > Thanks to everyone for letting me join the group and now letting Rena join. I am not going to be on much now, so Rena can talk to the group without me reading everything she writes. I will keep be thinking about you all the time. > > Marsha, I hope you don't need the advanced directive and will for many years to come and I thank you for the reply. Keep your spirits up and may God bless you and keep you safe. > > ....JR > JR and Rena > > > Hi JR and Rena-- > > Rena is lucky to have you JR. > > These posts are getting hard to read, or maybe today it's just > hitting me differently. While I am doing alot of reading about breast > cancer, it's hard to hold it all in your head and have it make a > complete picture that makes sense. > > I was told I had a 70% chance of living 10 years. I don't know my > stats for beating it altogether. My focus is pretty narrow, I was > shooting for five years. > > I've already made my will and gotten an advance medical directive. > The idea was get it out of the way now, so I don't have to think > about it later. > > Once I learned the cancer could return, I realized I had to adopt a > diffent way of looking at time. No more five-year plans. Even getting > a car loan is a whole different ballgame. I guess what I am trying to > do is live in the time I have rather than thinking about how much > time I have left. I am sorry if this is confusing. > > You and Rena are brave, you are among friends here. Take care, Love, > Luck and Laughter, Marsha > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 Hi JR-- Thanks for your kind remarks. I don't know the stats, but alot of people do survive cancer. I keep that in mind. I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), so at times it's normal for me to feel like I have two minds thinking completely different thoughts. One train of thought is I intend to live a normal life, the other is, I don't make five-year plans anymore. Yes, stress wrecks havoc with your thoughts and memory. I have to write things down, re-read articles, and repeat things I am told. It does feel like a waste of time to know you've been eating healthy and then this happens, but if you (and I include myself) were to start eating unhealthy we'd be even worse off. Bring on the bean sprouts. Loved your mad cow disease comment. I used worry about getting Altzimers. I told my friend, " When I finally become the person I want to be, I won't remember who I am. " I focused on understanding my treatment options first. I read and researched a great deal until I felt comfortable with that one aspect. I had wanted a double masectomy but the surgeon did not agree. I still wish I had had it done. As I read these posts, I realize I need to jump back into my data piles and start thinking about my next treatment options after radiation. The data overload is real. So glad you and Rena have joined BC2ers. I am no slouch when it comes to talking either... Take care, Marsha > Hey Marsha, > > I don't know how lucky she is, I think I drive her nuts at times, but thank you, I know I am lucky to have her. Rena said she is having a hard time trying to focus and absorb it all too. I think a lot of the people are calling it " Chemo Brain " I think a lot of it is stress though. I know my memory gets a little slack when I am under a lot of stress and it makes me want to do nothing. I only know how the stress of going through cancer and how the physical effects of the treatments effects a cancer patient through Rena and the post I read. I hope if it ever happens to me, I hope I can endure it like all of you have. > > When Rena was just starting into the treatments, she made me promise to a lot of " what Ifs " and " If this happens " , I think her talking about those things was the toughest on me, I know it was tuff on her too, but I think she handled it better. You are strong to think about the advanced medical directive and your will so soon and I know you are right, it is better to take care of things up front. I have to think she is going to make a full recovery right now, thinking about the other is going to have to wait for now. I have been thinking about what Rena needs to do different in her life, like exercise, diet, etc, but it is so frustrating. We are moderate vegetarians, try to eat healthy, we use olive oil and butter instead of Canola and margarine, we don't use alcohol or drink coffee, we are careful what we consume and try to get enough exercise and so on. To my surprise, Rena showed me where she read that having two cups of coffee each day reduces your chance of bc! Rena asked me why we even try to be healthy, if it doesn't do any good. I told her it was better to have one illness than a lot of them, but still it is frustrating. We had steak two times in the last three months, I hope we don't get mad cows disease clogged arteries over it.........lol > > I am so glad Rena replied to the group last night. I think this is going to be a lot of support for her and hopefully for others. I must warn you though, when she starts feeling better, she will talk your ears off. At just three months into this and being sick most of the time, she has just begin to think of all the questions, side effects and her long term prognoses. Right now she is handling it a day at a time. Someone told her it would take a year to get completely over it. I think maybe they meant " over it as far as you can " > > Thanks to everyone for letting me join the group and now letting Rena join. I am not going to be on much now, so Rena can talk to the group without me reading everything she writes. I will keep be thinking about you all the time. > > Marsha, I hope you don't need the advanced directive and will for many years to come and I thank you for the reply. Keep your spirits up and may God bless you and keep you safe. > > ....JR > JR and Rena > > > Hi JR and Rena-- > > Rena is lucky to have you JR. > > These posts are getting hard to read, or maybe today it's just > hitting me differently. While I am doing alot of reading about breast > cancer, it's hard to hold it all in your head and have it make a > complete picture that makes sense. > > I was told I had a 70% chance of living 10 years. I don't know my > stats for beating it altogether. My focus is pretty narrow, I was > shooting for five years. > > I've already made my will and gotten an advance medical directive. > The idea was get it out of the way now, so I don't have to think > about it later. > > Once I learned the cancer could return, I realized I had to adopt a > diffent way of looking at time. No more five-year plans. Even getting > a car loan is a whole different ballgame. I guess what I am trying to > do is live in the time I have rather than thinking about how much > time I have left. I am sorry if this is confusing. > > You and Rena are brave, you are among friends here. Take care, Love, > Luck and Laughter, Marsha > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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