Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 > Well, now I know why my house is an unfit environment according to Lou. I am not raising the children the way he was raised. > > > I am very angry. Can you tell? > > Salli Lou is an idiot. YOu are doing an excellent job under usually- difficult circumstances. Lou is an idiot. Kerri Mom to: Mitchel 6, Autistic 9 - NT See the Family: http://www.johnswdwpage.com/family.htm " I thank God and America for the right to live and raise my family under the flag of tolerance, democracy and freedom. " -Walt Disney Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 > I said, " You mean you wouldn't have been allowed to do homework on the floor? " and he said " No, I would not have been allowed to do that. " >> Lou would not approve of my house, either Salli. We homeschool, and at this point, I have one kid who stretches out on the couch, one on the floor, and one who actually uses a desk. And of course, wanders about when not doing his " table time " ...Lou would not like my house. > And he explained to me that the house did not need to be so chaotic, > Lou would NOT like my house... > He has absolutely no idea what I do.> Nope. > > But I do know this. I find letting a three year old cross a busy parking lot alone is much more serious than storing toys in plastic cartons in different rooms of the house. I find that suggesting he leave an autistic five year old at the sledding hill in the care of a seven year old girl is much more serious than children occasionally playing with their toys on the floor. And I find hitting and pinching children much more serious than a child sitting on the floor to do her homework every night.>> Yup. Best advice? Ignore him, Salli...ignore him. He has not a clue. Raena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 But Salli...why on earth would you be angry about this? Lou is and always will be Lou. You know you are raising your children well. It irks me that he makes you angry this way. Let it go in one ear and right out the other, Salli. Lou has his own set of problems and they don't need to be yours or your childrens'. ....and you realize, don't you, that Lou is the only one who thinks your home is an " unfit environment " . His view of reality is so skewed. Penny Vent Well, now I know why my house is an unfit environment according to Lou. I am not raising the children the way he was raised. Sophie likes to do her homework on the floor. Lou feels this is wrong and that Sophie needs a place to do her homework. I cleared a desk in the computer room, knowing that Sophie would never use it (if she really wanted a cleared space, the kitchen table is always cleared up and available after dinner) and she has not. Lou informs me that in his family, there were set times for doing homework and set places. I said, " You mean you wouldn't have been allowed to do homework on the floor? " and he said " No, I would not have been allowed to do that. " Now I think that is very strange. It strikes me as a complete non-issue. Sophie does her homework every night and her grades are excellent. She is a smart girl. Does it really matter where she does her homework as long as she is comfortable and happy and it gets done? But Lou says it is all part of the unfit environment. The other thing he objects to is that I have plastic containers for toys all over the house so that a pick up can be done quickly and easily. Lou says that these containers should all be stored in the basement (where the toys would naturally be unavailable). When Robbie's godparents visited, they said to me, " You are so well-organized! You have places to store toys all over. " They also have five kids. But Lou says that he feels it is also part of an unfit environment. Just to clarify this statement, I repeated to him, " You mean you think having plastic cartons for toys in most rooms of the house makes an unfit environment for children? " He agreed, well, he modified it by saying that it was part of the problem. He said that there was basically no floor space in the house anyway which mystifies me because I think the general impression of my living room is of floor space. I see lots of floor space. Of course, the children do occasionally take out those toys that he feels should be stored away in the basement and play with them. And he explained to me that the house did not need to be so chaotic, pointing out that Amy also had a child with autism and that for the few minutes he was in her house he could tell that it was nothing like as awful looking as my house. I think, not sure, but I think that Amy will be surprised to learn this. And I do not think that Lou toured every room of Amy's house to make sure. Lou lived in a house with five children for less than six months. And most of that six months he was not home; he would go to work and then go back out in the evenings. He did the same thing for most of the time we had four children. He has absolutely no idea what I do. But I do know this. I find letting a three year old cross a busy parking lot alone is much more serious than storing toys in plastic cartons in different rooms of the house. I find that suggesting he leave an autistic five year old at the sledding hill in the care of a seven year old girl is much more serious than children occasionally playing with their toys on the floor. And I find hitting and pinching children much more serious than a child sitting on the floor to do her homework every night. Lou's mother disciplined him by pinching and hitting; I consider that far far more inappropriate. Lou admits that my house looks much like my parents' house, a house full of love and happiness the entire time I was growing up, where hitting and pinching were NOT used as a method of discipline, but he claimed that my parents did not discipline me because I had a wild teenaged youth. He has no idea of the real difficulties facing a parent with a wild teenager; he has never faced those difficulties because he was never himself a wild teenager. I am very angry. Can you tell? Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 Salli, Lou sounds like my mother! LOL She has so many rules for thuings and hates what she considers unorginization! Drives me crazy because while I feel i am fairly organized I know I dont color code things and diffenately dont follow my kids around the house with a broom and mop! Sheesh! I guess you can tell I hated living like that. She still comes over to my house and asks if I need any " help " AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I feel for you. You are doing a great job even if it isnt the way Lou wants it done. But you knew that Jacquie H > Well, now I know why my house is an unfit environment according to Lou. I am not raising the children the way he was raised. > > Sophie likes to do her homework on the floor. Lou feels this is wrong and that Sophie needs a place to do her homework. I cleared a desk in the computer room, knowing that Sophie would never use it (if she really wanted a cleared space, the kitchen table is always cleared up and available after dinner) and she has not. Lou informs me that in his family, there were set times for doing homework and set places. I said, " You mean you wouldn't have been allowed to do homework on the floor? " and he said " No, I would not have been allowed to do that. " > > Now I think that is very strange. It strikes me as a complete non- issue. Sophie does her homework every night and her grades are excellent. She is a smart girl. Does it really matter where she does her homework as long as she is comfortable and happy and it gets done? But Lou says it is all part of the unfit environment. > > The other thing he objects to is that I have plastic containers for toys all over the house so that a pick up can be done quickly and easily. Lou says that these containers should all be stored in the basement (where the toys would naturally be unavailable). > > When Robbie's godparents visited, they said to me, " You are so well- organized! You have places to store toys all over. " They also have five kids. But Lou says that he feels it is also part of an unfit environment. Just to clarify this statement, I repeated to him, " You mean you think having plastic cartons for toys in most rooms of the house makes an unfit environment for children? " He agreed, well, he modified it by saying that it was part of the problem. > > He said that there was basically no floor space in the house anyway which mystifies me because I think the general impression of my living room is of floor space. I see lots of floor space. Of course, the children do occasionally take out those toys that he feels should be stored away in the basement and play with them. > > And he explained to me that the house did not need to be so chaotic, pointing out that Amy also had a child with autism and that for the few minutes he was in her house he could tell that it was nothing like as awful looking as my house. I think, not sure, but I think that Amy will be surprised to learn this. And I do not think that Lou toured every room of Amy's house to make sure. > > Lou lived in a house with five children for less than six months. And most of that six months he was not home; he would go to work and then go back out in the evenings. He did the same thing for most of the time we had four children. He has absolutely no idea what I do. > > But I do know this. I find letting a three year old cross a busy parking lot alone is much more serious than storing toys in plastic cartons in different rooms of the house. I find that suggesting he leave an autistic five year old at the sledding hill in the care of a seven year old girl is much more serious than children occasionally playing with their toys on the floor. And I find hitting and pinching children much more serious than a child sitting on the floor to do her homework every night. > > Lou's mother disciplined him by pinching and hitting; I consider that far far more inappropriate. Lou admits that my house looks much like my parents' house, a house full of love and happiness the entire time I was growing up, where hitting and pinching were NOT used as a method of discipline, but he claimed that my parents did not discipline me because I had a wild teenaged youth. He has no idea of the real difficulties facing a parent with a wild teenager; he has never faced those difficulties because he was never himself a wild teenager. > > I am very angry. Can you tell? > > Salli > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 >>>But I do know this. I find letting a three year old cross a busy parking lot alone is much more serious than storing toys in plastic cartons in different rooms of the house. I find that suggesting he leave an autistic five year old at the sledding hill in the care of a seven year old girl is much more serious than children occasionally playing with their toys on the floor. And I find hitting and pinching children much more serious than a child sitting on the floor to do her homework every night.<<<< Hitting, pinching, nitpicking over insignificant things are all ways people try to deal with feeling powerless. He's trying to control his world. That's his problem, not yours. Salli, you're doing a great job in an impossible situation. Take care Tuna ===== When a person responds to the joys and sorrows of others as if they were his own, he has attained the highest state of spiritual union. -Bhagavad Gita 6:32 ______________________________________________________________________ Find, Connect, Date! http://personals.yahoo.ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 > >And he explained to me that the house did not need to be so chaotic, >pointing out that Amy also had a child with autism and that for the few >minutes he was in her house he could tell that it was nothing like as awful >looking as my house. I think, not sure, but I think that Amy will be >surprised to learn this. And I do not think that Lou toured every room of >Amy's house to make sure. > The man is certifiable. Firstly, he did NOT tour the whole house. I would have let him because I think it is important for all parents to feel safe about where their kids are spending time, but he just looked in the kitchen and living room. Secondly, I only have 2 kids, both in school full time, and my house is 1/3 the size of yours. I have more time and less to clean. Thirdly, IF he had looked upstairs or downstairs, he would have had a very different opinion. Fourthly, the man is certifiable. Oh, I said that already. He makes me so angry. He puts up a very good front in public, but I know the real Lou, and he sucks. I don't think Cam would have let him in the house at all. Cam hates him and has never met him. And last but not least, Kepler thinks that your house is heaven. Honestly. He would be very happy to die and go to Salli's house. I think your house is fine. I think you do a great job considering what you are dealing with, and the fact that you don't get help from the idiot man. I mean really, has he offered to do any cleaning for you? And the homework thing, what is the deal with that? I regularly did my homework on the floor, in the tub, wherever it happened to be quiet. He honestly has no clue Salli. He doesn't live with it, never has, and will never, ever understand. Amy H--in Michigan Kepler 4 1/2 ASD and Bethany 6 NT " Harmony breeds ignorance. It is the dissonant chords of life that lead us to wisdom. " ~me _________________________________________________________________ Join the world’s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. http://www.hotmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 ----- Original Message ----- > Well, now I know why my house is an unfit environment according to Lou. I am not raising the children the way he was raised. No, you're hoping for better children! > > Sophie likes to do her homework on the floor. Lou feels this is wrong and that Sophie needs a place to do her homework. I cleared a desk in the computer room, knowing that Sophie would never use it (if she really wanted a cleared space, the kitchen table is always cleared up and available after dinner) and she has not. Lou informs me that in his family, there were set times for doing homework and set places. I said, " You mean you wouldn't have been allowed to do homework on the floor? " and he said " No, I would not have been allowed to do that. " Ahhh, so this explains why he is the way he is. He was deprived as a child..... > > Now I think that is very strange. It strikes me as a complete non-issue. Yep, me to. Sophie does her homework every night and her grades are excellent. Good going Sophie! She is a smart girl. Does it really matter where she does her homework as long as she is comfortable and happy and it gets done? Nope! But Lou says it is all part of the unfit environment. > Perhaps you should point out that it was more unfit when he was living there... > The other thing he objects to is that I have plastic containers for toys all over the house so that a pick up can be done quickly and easily. Lou says that these containers should all be stored in the basement (where the toys would naturally be unavailable). Jerk! My kids toys are in their rooms, the closet in the hall is all games, 1/2 of the basement is theirs with monkey bars, a trampoline, cushions and bed mattresses to jump on. The behaviorist said that of all the home visits he's done (he does a very expensive area that we are not part of) that we have the type of house that kids should have! And we have just a 3 bdrm ranch. > When Robbie's godparents visited, they said to me, " You are so well-organized! You have places to store toys all over. " They also have five kids. But Lou says that he feels it is also part of an unfit environment. Just to clarify this statement, I repeated to him, " You mean you think having plastic cartons for toys in most rooms of the house makes an unfit environment for children? " He agreed, well, he modified it by saying that it was part of the problem. By the way, there are lots of plastic containers in the kids rooms or closets. > > He said that there was basically no floor space in the house anyway which mystifies me because I think the general impression of my living room is of floor space. I see lots of floor space. Of course, the children do occasionally take out those toys that he feels should be stored away in the basement and play with them. How dare they play with......TOYS? > > And he explained to me that the house did not need to be so chaotic, pointing out that Amy also had a child with autism and that for the few minutes he was in her house he could tell that it was nothing like as awful looking as my house. I think, not sure, but I think that Amy will be surprised to learn this. And I do not think that Lou toured every room of Amy's house to make sure. In which case, even though Amy will probably laugh at Lou's comment, you still have 3 more children than Amy. Although, be fair now Salli, Lou didn't live with autistic kids or aspies. They are only that way because you wanted them to be after he left. > > Lou lived in a house with five children for less than six months. And most of that six months he was not home; he would go to work and then go back out in the evenings. He did the same thing for most of the time we had four children. He has absolutely no idea what I do. Again, his kids weren't autistic. > > But I do know this. I find letting a three year old cross a busy parking lot alone is much more serious than storing toys in plastic cartons in different rooms of the house. Surely you can't be serious??? Toys are much more dangerous than 4000lb cars are! I find that suggesting he leave an autistic five year old at the sledding hill in the care of a seven year old girl is much more serious than children occasionally playing with their toys on the floor. Oh no, toys are evil, do you hear me? EVIL!!! And I find hitting and pinching children much more serious than a child sitting on the floor to do her homework every night. > Lou's mother disciplined him by pinching and hitting; I consider that far far more inappropriate. Of course, had he been permitted to stay, your kids would have been pinched and hit so as not to have toys in the living areas and till they wouldn't study on the floor. Lou admits that my house looks much like my parents' house, a house full of love and happiness the entire time I was growing up, where hitting and pinching were NOT used as a method of discipline, but he claimed that my parents did not discipline me because I had a wild teenaged youth. Hey, even loved kids can and do get in trouble! (I love the sound of your childhood though!) He has no idea of the real difficulties facing a parent with a wild teenager; he has never faced those difficulties because he was never himself a wild teenager. How could he? He's an aspie who doesn't know it and had to follow the rules! (Don't anyone take this as an insult to aspies either, this is just in reference to Lou). > > I am very angry. Can you tell? I'm being very sarcastic, can you tell? > > Salli Sue ---------------------------------------------------- Sign Up for NetZero Platinum Today Only $9.95 per month! http://my.netzero.net/s/signup?r=platinum & refcd=PT97 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 Penny, She would! And that would drive me crazxy. You know? I mean its like saying I am not doing my job and am not good enough. ~sigh~ I have my own set of issues I guess. LOL Jacquie H > LOL Jacquie - > > Next time she comes over say " Yep...Here's all the cleaning tools, go for > it! " > > Penny :-D > > Re: Vent > > > Salli, > Lou sounds like my mother! LOL She has so many rules for thuings > and hates what she considers unorginization! Drives me crazy because > while I feel i am fairly organized I know I dont color code things > and diffenately dont follow my kids around the house with a broom and > mop! Sheesh! I guess you can tell I hated living like that. She still > comes over to my house and asks if I need any " help " > AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I feel for you. You are > doing a great job even if it isnt the way Lou wants it done. But you > knew that > Jacquie H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 Oh My! First of all, of course you are completely correct. The issues that Lou is hung up on are non issues in reality. The items you pointed out however are serious. I really truly believe the Lou does not have any common sense at all and that he is incapable of making those sorts of decisions. Everything, including you lovely family services, Lou seems to need to have scripted so that he knows what rules and roles to play. Oh Salli, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this nonsense. How utterly frustrating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2002 Report Share Posted March 15, 2002 Salli: I read this awhile ago and saved it so that I could respond. But everyone has pretty much said what I think. The problem is Lou's not yours and not your kids. Kids have toys and play with them and it should not even be an issue about the homework as long as it is done. I am definetely on your side on this one. Tamara --- bunnytiner wrote: > Well, now I know why my house is an unfit > environment according to Lou. I am not raising the > children the way he was raised. > > Sophie likes to do her homework on the floor. Lou > feels this is wrong and that Sophie needs a place to > do her homework. I cleared a desk in the computer > room, knowing that Sophie would never use it (if she > really wanted a cleared space, the kitchen table is > always cleared up and available after dinner) and > she has not. Lou informs me that in his family, > there were set times for doing homework and set > places. I said, " You mean you wouldn't have been > allowed to do homework on the floor? " and he said > " No, I would not have been allowed to do that. " > > Now I think that is very strange. It strikes me as > a complete non-issue. Sophie does her homework > every night and her grades are excellent. She is a > smart girl. Does it really matter where she does > her homework as long as she is comfortable and happy > and it gets done? But Lou says it is all part of > the unfit environment. > > The other thing he objects to is that I have plastic > containers for toys all over the house so that a > pick up can be done quickly and easily. Lou says > that these containers should all be stored in the > basement (where the toys would naturally be > unavailable). > > When Robbie's godparents visited, they said to me, > " You are so well-organized! You have places to > store toys all over. " They also have five kids. > But Lou says that he feels it is also part of an > unfit environment. Just to clarify this statement, I > repeated to him, " You mean you think having plastic > cartons for toys in most rooms of the house makes an > unfit environment for children? " He agreed, well, > he modified it by saying that it was part of the > problem. > > He said that there was basically no floor space in > the house anyway which mystifies me because I think > the general impression of my living room is of floor > space. I see lots of floor space. Of course, the > children do occasionally take out those toys that he > feels should be stored away in the basement and play > with them. > > And he explained to me that the house did not need > to be so chaotic, pointing out that Amy also had a > child with autism and that for the few minutes he > was in her house he could tell that it was nothing > like as awful looking as my house. I think, not > sure, but I think that Amy will be surprised to > learn this. And I do not think that Lou toured > every room of Amy's house to make sure. > > Lou lived in a house with five children for less > than six months. And most of that six months he was > not home; he would go to work and then go back out > in the evenings. He did the same thing for most of > the time we had four children. He has absolutely no > idea what I do. > > But I do know this. I find letting a three year old > cross a busy parking lot alone is much more serious > than storing toys in plastic cartons in different > rooms of the house. I find that suggesting he leave > an autistic five year old at the sledding hill in > the care of a seven year old girl is much more > serious than children occasionally playing with > their toys on the floor. And I find hitting and > pinching children much more serious than a child > sitting on the floor to do her homework every night. > > Lou's mother disciplined him by pinching and > hitting; I consider that far far more inappropriate. > Lou admits that my house looks much like my > parents' house, a house full of love and happiness > the entire time I was growing up, where hitting and > pinching were NOT used as a method of discipline, > but he claimed that my parents did not discipline me > because I had a wild teenaged youth. He has no idea > of the real difficulties facing a parent with a wild > teenager; he has never faced those difficulties > because he was never himself a wild teenager. > > I am very angry. Can you tell? > > Salli > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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