Re: OT: MEN!!!!! (men, no need for you to read this)

[Guest guest]

I don't blame you women at all for being upset with men...

I wouldn't marry one if my life depended on it.

Ron

[Guest guest]

>

> " " "

> Can you start boiling a couple of eggs for me please?

>

> thanks

> " " " "

>

>

> How many of you think I'm boiling eggs for him?

>

> Penny :-|

When he walks in the house tonight, throw the eggs at him. Then

say " oops I guess I forgot the boil part huh? sorry. "

...or not...

Kerri

[Guest guest]

here's what i think...

when he gets home, have an egg waiting for him and tell him to GO SUCK IT!

Autism is not the end of the World. . . . just the beginning of a new one. -

Sally Meyer

[Guest guest]

Kerri and -

Both of your ideas are very viable options. Thanks for the smile :-)

Penny -

[Guest guest]

I think that sums up exactly what it's like to be a man. :-(

[Guest guest]

UH OH!

Jacquie H

> I'm in a state of annoyance right now. For a lot of reasons. Here

is a

> message I sent to my dh this morning:

>

> " Subject: How does it feel to be a man?

>

>

> this is a retorical question.

> hopefully it gives you something to think about.

>

> ~Penny~

> " " " " " " "

>

> This is the response I get:

>

> " " "

> Can you start boiling a couple of eggs for me please?

>

> thanks

> " " " "

>

>

> How many of you think I'm boiling eggs for him?

>

> Penny :-|

[Guest guest]

LMAO!

Jacquie H

> I don't blame you women at all for being upset with men...

>

> I wouldn't marry one if my life depended on it.

>

> Ron

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ok Ron...since you went ahead and read this...

What do you make of it?

Penny

Re: OT: MEN!!!!! (men, no need for you to

read this)

I don't blame you women at all for being upset with men...

I wouldn't marry one if my life depended on it.

Ron

[Guest guest]

Maybe she could just hand them to him and tell him to go hatch them?

Sue

Re: OT: MEN!!!!! (men, no need for you to read

this)

> >

> > " " "

> > Can you start boiling a couple of eggs for me please?

> >

> > thanks

> > " " " "

> >

> >

> > How many of you think I'm boiling eggs for him?

> >

> > Penny :-|

>

> When he walks in the house tonight, throw the eggs at him. Then

> say " oops I guess I forgot the boil part huh? sorry. "

>

> ..or not...

>

> Kerri

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

ROFLMAO!!!!

Tuna

--- Bosocks1@... wrote:

I don't blame you women at all for being upset with

men...

I wouldn't marry one if my life depended on it.

Ron<

=====

When a person responds to the joys and sorrows of others as if they were his

own, he has attained the highest state of spiritual union.

-Bhagavad Gita 6:32

______________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/13/02 6:49:34 PM Eastern Standard Time,

nospam@... writes:

> Ok Ron...since you went ahead and read this...

>

> What do you make of it?

>

> Penny

>

>

Personally I don't see the big deal....either you boil the eggs or you don't.

Being one who has been through a relationship or 20, here's what I've

learned....

My personal serenity lies in direct proportion to my expectations of others.

I can expect a great many things from a lot of people around me...some of

them in their control, some not. If my expectations don't get met, I can

quickly descend to the status of mental midget.

I, for the entire history of my life, have always had an idea of how things

are going to be. A have future tripped on everything from the upcoming

baseball season to how the reaction of the kids is going to be when I get

home.

When Sam and Abbie were born, I had a vision in my mind of what it was going

to be like to be a dad. My vision, (expectations) and reality were way, way

off.

The same with marriage. I came into this deal with an agenda. I didn't

think I had an agenda, but I did. EVERYONE DOES.

It is my firm belief that problems in relationships arise (whether they be

with spouses, children or friends) when those agendas are blown far out of

proportion to the expectations we had in our heads. We can take a hit every

now and then: Flat tires, short of money for 1 month, the kids have measles

etc.

But throw in something big...I mean real big, autism, downs syndrome

whatever...then add on measles, a flat tire, loss of job....etc. and now

life gets pretty bleak. We have fears of things happening in our lives, but

few of us experience it.

The events of 911, still linger in my head. BUT, it happened to THOSE people

over there...not me....that wouldn't happen to me. Yet, odds are, there are

several moms or dads who are now raising an autistic son/daughter alone

today, who at 9 a.m. that morning, might have been complaining on how his/her

spouse just doesn't do enough or asks too much...(expectations).

I expected to be able to play baseball with Sam in the front yard by now.

He'll be five in April. I expect bio-dad to see the light and " allow " Alec

to get the help he needs.

I expect a lot of different things in my life. None of these things have

happened yet and there are times when I have been really pissed because my

expectations weren't met.

I don't expect Terry to get up and make me coffee in the morning. Sometimes

she does and sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes I have asked. She has asked

things of me. Sometimes I can get to them, sometimes I can't.

We have had the knock down drag out fights about this shit only to later have

to apologize to each other for poor behavior.

It just isn't worth it....it isn't worth the fighting. The resentments that

follow in my expecting things to be a certain way or people to act a certain

way is very dark and gray. It leads down the road of negativity that can

quickly spiral to a point where the people in our lives can do nothing right.

Oh, every now and again, they come through, (with our guidance of course)

but people just don't do what we want them to do. Then of course, it spreads

to the kids, our neighbors and friends and the world. The next thing ya

know, we're looking for a lamppost to hang from...or an empty bar

stool...maybe a new drug.

Sometimes we just need to look inside and ask ourselves what it was we

expected from that person or situation and why do I have such a fear that it

hasn't been fulfilled?

I can't control how people will act from day to day....I just don't have that

kind of power....quite frankly, I stay away from people who think they do

have that power. But I can control, (somewhat) my expectations, or reactions

of not met expectations that I have.

With that all said....is this really about putting 2 eggs in a pan of water

and turning on the stove?

I'm not minimizing your feelings, but seems to me the eggs are but a symbol

of a recurring problem ya might want to have a pow wow with hubby with.

More than likely, he didn't think the egg thing was a big deal.

Ron

[Guest guest]

>> My personal serenity lies in direct proportion to my expectations

> of others. I can expect a great many things from a lot of people

> around me...some of them in their control, some not. If my

> expectations don't get met, I can quickly descend to the status of

> mental midget.>>

Ron,

Amazing post...you may not be posting often, but it's worth the

wait. :-)

Raena

[Guest guest]

>

>

> How many of you think I'm boiling eggs for him?

>

I took a poll in my house and only Roby the Cat thought you were boiling

eggs for him.

Salli

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/14/02 4:59:45 PM Eastern Standard Time,

smgaska@... writes:

> Ok Ron,

> After reading through all the bleakness in your post about unmet

> expectations, I'm left wondering if there is something going on in your life

> that has left you with a less than sunny outlook, other than having kids

> with autism? Has the battle with bio dad progressed any? Trouble at home?

> Work? You know that if there's anything wrong we're here for you too,

> right?

> Sue, who's hoping she's missreading this post.....

>

>

I guess both you and Grace are misreading....I've been dealing with

expectations all my life....nope....nothing unusual going on here....

Here's an example....I started a business 4 years ago this month....in my

mind, I should be doing better...say...like being independantly wealthy by

now. That's what my head says....in reality, the business has grown every

year...slowly...like most do. But my head says it should be more....an

expectation.....if I didn't have the self knowledge about what my head tells

me, I'd probably be real discouraged...instead I can laugh it off...well,

almost anyway.

I believe we all go through some of this....whether it be an expectation as

big as the way life is supposed to be or as small as the school bus being on

time. If I expect too much, I am at risk of being upset...lots...so, knowing

that I have these expectations of people, places and things, I just can shrug

it off...makes for a lot more peaceful day...

That's what I was trying to communicate to Penny...I think she got it...

Ron....who has nothing unusual going on right now...

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/14/2002 6:10:08 AM Eastern Standard Time,

Bosocks1@... writes:

> I don't expect Terry to get up and make me coffee in the morning. Sometimes

>

> she does and sometimes she doesn't.

After I do the dishes at night I fill the coffeemaker and spoon in the

coffee. It's my little way of saying I love you to my husband. In the am

all he has to do is flick on the switch.

G

[Guest guest]

>>>How many of you think I'm boiling eggs for him?<<<

I have this mental picture of him wearing the eggs.

Tuna

=====

There are no moral absolutes in a complex world.

Berke Breathed

______________________________________________________________________

Find, Connect, Date! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/14/02 9:38:32 PM Eastern Standard Time,

bedells@... writes:

>

> Ron,

>

> I think you are a truly wise man. I wish more of us, male or female had

> your kind of insight.

>

> B

>

>

>

Well thank you but actually I learned that from falling all over myself for

40 years....I guess I finally hit my head in the right place

Ron

[Guest guest]

Sounds like you and Cam have been doing some work Amy....congrats and good

luck

Ron

[Guest guest]

Ok Ron,

After reading through all the bleakness in your post about unmet

expectations, I'm left wondering if there is something going on in your life

that has left you with a less than sunny outlook, other than having kids

with autism? Has the battle with bio dad progressed any? Trouble at home?

Work? You know that if there's anything wrong we're here for you too,

right?

Sue, who's hoping she's missreading this post.....

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[Guest guest]

>From: Bosocks1@...

>My personal serenity lies in direct proportion to my expectations of

>others.

> I can expect a great many things from a lot of people around me...some of

>them in their control, some not. If my expectations don't get met, I can

>quickly descend to the status of mental midget.

This is very wise Ron. When Cam and I started talking about reconciliation,

we spent a lot of time going over expectations. We both needed to

reevaluate what we expected out of the other one. It has helped us

immensely as this is an issue we return to again and again. You have to

because your expectations change from day to day. That communication is

really key. Once we let go of some of those irrational expectations, life

became full of a lot more peace! Sure, we want our lives to play out a

certain way, but if you let all the roadblocks get to you, then you are

simply going to be miserable all the time. Of course, there are certain

expectations that should always be met. You should always feel physically

and emotionally safe in your relationship. If you are being abused in

either way, then things must be dealt with.

My relationship quote of the day: " If love is the foundation of happy

marriage, good manners are the walls and diplomacy is the roof. "

Amy H--in Michigan

Kepler 4 1/2 ASD and Bethany 6 NT

" Harmony breeds ignorance. It is the dissonant chords of life that lead us

to wisdom. " ~me

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

> >

>

> I guess both you and Grace are misreading....I've been dealing with

> expectations all my life....nope....nothing unusual going on here....

>

> Here's an example....I started a business 4 years ago this month....in my

> mind, I should be doing better...say...like being independantly wealthy by

> now. That's what my head says....in reality, the business has grown every

> year...slowly...like most do. But my head says it should be more....an

> expectation.....if I didn't have the self knowledge about what my head

tells

> me, I'd probably be real discouraged...instead I can laugh it off...well,

> almost anyway.

>

> I believe we all go through some of this....whether it be an expectation

as

> big as the way life is supposed to be or as small as the school bus being

on

> time. If I expect too much, I am at risk of being upset...lots...so,

knowing

> that I have these expectations of people, places and things, I just can

shrug

> it off...makes for a lot more peaceful day...

>

> That's what I was trying to communicate to Penny...I think she got it...

>

> Ron....who has nothing unusual going on right now...

Glad to hear things are ok! It's hard to read tone of voice when it's an

e-mail ; )

How goes it with the awful bio dad? Anything happening yet? How is Alec

doing?

Sue

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[Guest guest]

Ron,

I think you are a truly wise man. I wish more of us, male or female had your

kind of insight.

B

[Guest guest]

>From: Bosocks1@...

>Sounds like you and Cam have been doing some work Amy....congrats and good

>luck

Thanks Ron. Some days it doesn't even feel like work. LOL.

One other thing I wanted to say about expectations. I have the very bad

habit of projecting expectations onto myself. I ASSUME people expect me to

do certain things, when they don't expect those things at all. This can

only set me up for failure as I can never please everybody and their phantom

expectations. Something my therapist worked on with me for a long time.

Amy H--in Michigan

Kepler 4 1/2 ASD and Bethany 6 NT

" Harmony breeds ignorance. It is the dissonant chords of life that lead us

to wisdom. " ~me

_________________________________________________________________

Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com

[Guest guest]

Ron.

I did :-D

Penny

>>>

That's what I was trying to communicate to Penny...I think she got it...

<<<<

[Guest guest]

> Well thank you but actually I learned that from falling all over myself

for

> 40 years....I guess I finally hit my head in the right place

>

But, Ron, that is what wisdom really is. And it is why the very young are

generally not wise; they haven't fallen all over themselves for long enough

to get a clue.

Salli