Guest guest Posted March 1, 2002 Report Share Posted March 1, 2002 Sorry Sue. We all get frustrated sometimes, but if he is doing this a lot, and especially if he is yelling, than I would be upset too. He certainly is NOT helping you when he reacts that way. Big Hugs! Amy H--in Michigan Kepler 4 1/2 ASD and Bethany 6 NT " Harmony breeds ignorance. It is the dissonant chords of life that lead us to wisdom. " ~me _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2002 Report Share Posted March 1, 2002 In a message dated 3/1/2002 8:33:22 AM Eastern Standard Time, smgaska@... writes: > Mark's just dumping water on him, probably washing a bit rougher than > necessary. 't still crying and be told to quit crying (yeah, that's > going to work). Mu husband told me today that we should just take to seaworld becuase he saw on discovery last night how the dolphins fixed autism. Hope it got a laugh out of you? {{Sue}} G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2002 Report Share Posted March 1, 2002 Sorry you had a rough night, Sue. In your husbands defense, there are times that I do the " wrong " thing with Ebony too. It's hard to always be calm and not get frustrated. On the other hand I know what you are saying too. Been there, done that. I do the same thing to my husband...sometimes its just too HARD to watch him do it " wrong " that I just take over and do it myself. I think men, in general, just have a harder time dealing with the everyday frustrations that come with any child, but especially a special needs child. Hang in there! Tamara --- smgaska wrote: > Last night Mark was going to give his bath > because I was doing homework with . , as > usual didn't go into the bathroom when Mark wanted > him to. I told him he would need to go over to him > and tell him he needed an escort, (then would > have walked with him to the bathroom). Since he > didn't come to Mark, Mark starts raising his voice. > As he raises his voice, starts to avoid him > more. Finally he's under the table hiding from him, > pretending he's afraid, (basically he's trying to > play me to get me to do it instead of his dad). I > told him the only reason his dad is raising his > voice is because he's not listening to him and to go > to the bathroom. Finally he goes. Then he's not > getting undressed fast enough. Finally I hear him > crying, Mark's voice is still raised. Far too many > words are being used trying to get his dad's point > across to him. Then I go stand outside the door and > watch. I mean, what the hell, I'm certainly not > concentrating on 's work at this point! > Mark's just dumping water on him, probably washing a > bit rougher than necessary. 't still crying > and be told to quit crying (yeah, that's going to > work). Finally, I told Mark to just get out of > there. I took over the bath, still explaining to > that none of this would have happened if he > had just listened to his dad in the first place. > Then I hear Mark in the hall saying I should have > just stayed out of there..... > I finished the baths up and wrote down that since he > goes through this frequently and has been told > before how to handle it (he also knows that raising > his voice only escalates the problems,(even covered > at the seminar today!)), and if he couldn't figure > out a way to work with his son that I'll just do > everything! I tossed it on the bed where he was > fuming. I heard him throw the notebook when he was > done reading it, then he went downstairs for the > rest of the night! This morning we barely spoke > except for his usual goodbyes to everyone. > I'm getting so tired of his reacting to the kids > with anger when he should know by now that it isn't > going to change them and he's the one who needs to > change. I imagine that his need for control is part > of his aspergers, but I don't really care at this > point. He says he loves the boys and wouldn't > change a thing, yet then he acts like an ass with > them now and then. Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhh! > > Sue > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2002 Report Share Posted March 1, 2002 Sounds familiar, Sue. We, as Mom's and primary care-givers KNOW our kids. And I really think it urks " Dad " when his way doesn't work...and that they have to admit that OUR way does. I hear ya. {{{hugs}}} Penny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2002 Report Share Posted March 1, 2002 I've taken Jacqui to Seaworld. It was a great experience until we sat in the soak section. The dolphins were very cool, but she is still Autistic. Penny ;-) Re: Last Night---VENT In a message dated 3/1/2002 8:33:22 AM Eastern Standard Time, smgaska@... writes: > Mark's just dumping water on him, probably washing a bit rougher than > necessary. 't still crying and be told to quit crying (yeah, that's > going to work). Mu husband told me today that we should just take to seaworld becuase he saw on discovery last night how the dolphins fixed autism. Hope it got a laugh out of you? {{Sue}} G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2002 Report Share Posted March 1, 2002 The part that gets to me is that we've discussed this before! And it's always the same. I'm not saying I never raise my voice with my kids, but if you've been told to try something different, at least TRY IT! Sue Re: Last Night---VENT > Sorry you had a rough night, Sue. In your husbands > defense, there are times that I do the " wrong " thing > with Ebony too. It's hard to always be calm and not > get frustrated. On the other hand I know what you are > saying too. Been there, done that. I do the same > thing to my husband...sometimes its just too HARD to > watch him do it " wrong " that I just take over and do > it myself. I think men, in general, just have a > harder time dealing with the everyday frustrations > that come with any child, but especially a special > needs child. > Hang in there! > Tamara > > --- smgaska wrote: > > Last night Mark was going to give his bath > > because I was doing homework with . , as > > usual didn't go into the bathroom when Mark wanted > > him to. I told him he would need to go over to him > > and tell him he needed an escort, (then would > > have walked with him to the bathroom). Since he > > didn't come to Mark, Mark starts raising his voice. > > As he raises his voice, starts to avoid him > > more. Finally he's under the table hiding from him, > > pretending he's afraid, (basically he's trying to > > play me to get me to do it instead of his dad). I > > told him the only reason his dad is raising his > > voice is because he's not listening to him and to go > > to the bathroom. Finally he goes. Then he's not > > getting undressed fast enough. Finally I hear him > > crying, Mark's voice is still raised. Far too many > > words are being used trying to get his dad's point > > across to him. Then I go stand outside the door and > > watch. I mean, what the hell, I'm certainly not > > concentrating on 's work at this point! > > Mark's just dumping water on him, probably washing a > > bit rougher than necessary. 't still crying > > and be told to quit crying (yeah, that's going to > > work). Finally, I told Mark to just get out of > > there. I took over the bath, still explaining to > > that none of this would have happened if he > > had just listened to his dad in the first place. > > Then I hear Mark in the hall saying I should have > > just stayed out of there..... > > I finished the baths up and wrote down that since he > > goes through this frequently and has been told > > before how to handle it (he also knows that raising > > his voice only escalates the problems,(even covered > > at the seminar today!)), and if he couldn't figure > > out a way to work with his son that I'll just do > > everything! I tossed it on the bed where he was > > fuming. I heard him throw the notebook when he was > > done reading it, then he went downstairs for the > > rest of the night! This morning we barely spoke > > except for his usual goodbyes to everyone. > > I'm getting so tired of his reacting to the kids > > with anger when he should know by now that it isn't > > going to change them and he's the one who needs to > > change. I imagine that his need for control is part > > of his aspergers, but I don't really care at this > > point. He says he loves the boys and wouldn't > > change a thing, yet then he acts like an ass with > > them now and then. Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhh! > > > > Sue > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2002 Report Share Posted March 1, 2002 In a message dated 3/1/2002 4:41:14 PM Eastern Standard Time, nospam@... writes: > The dolphins were very cool, but she is still Autistic. > > Penny ;-) My husband still thinks he can talk my mom into converting the extra bedroom into a dolphin tank. He says she has to swim with them LOL. So I said oh so we'll just put a dolphin door in and once a day push her threw G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2002 Report Share Posted March 1, 2002 How dumb can men get....was he serious?? I did smile by the way... Sue Re: Last Night---VENT > In a message dated 3/1/2002 8:33:22 AM Eastern Standard Time, > smgaska@... writes: > > > > Mark's just dumping water on him, probably washing a bit rougher than > > necessary. 't still crying and be told to quit crying (yeah, that's > > going to work). > > Mu husband told me today that we should just take to seaworld becuase > he saw on discovery last night how the dolphins fixed autism. > > Hope it got a laugh out of you? {{Sue}} > > G > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2002 Report Share Posted March 1, 2002 Hahahaaa, Not of course that she's still autistic though... Seu Re: Last Night---VENT > > > In a message dated 3/1/2002 8:33:22 AM Eastern Standard Time, > smgaska@... writes: > > > > Mark's just dumping water on him, probably washing a bit rougher than > > necessary. 't still crying and be told to quit crying (yeah, that's > > going to work). > > Mu husband told me today that we should just take to seaworld becuase > he saw on discovery last night how the dolphins fixed autism. > > Hope it got a laugh out of you? {{Sue}} > > G > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2002 Report Share Posted March 5, 2002 I imagine that his need for control is part of his aspergers, but I don't really care at this point. He says he loves the boys and wouldn't change a thing, yet then he acts like an ass with them now and then. Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhh! Oh, Sue, I am sure that Mark is a basically decent guy (just from things you have written) but this sounds SO much like Lou. And it is one of the reasons that I used to do it all, because I knew that Lou would be losing his temper with them. Even when I basically agreed with Lou that a kid was misbehaving, I always thought he handled it kind of badly. And in his case I really and truly did worry that he might really hurt someone if he had too much trouble. I actually did not think he would hurt one of his children on purpose, but my fears were quite justified as most of you know. I am sorry and I certainly do understand. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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