All-good falls off the pedastal

[Guest guest]

I'm the oldest of five and grew up flipping from good to bad...but as

an adult, I've become all good much more often. My nada will tell me

I have " saved her life " and comments like that. It's really

uncomfortable because I know what she is referring to is when she has

had a crisis (or two or three, ad naseum) I would jump in and come to

the rescue. But as I've gotten older, had more therapy and also got a

chronic pain condition (bet you can guess why) I've been trying to

actively work on my responses to nada.

Two weeks ago I went out to breakfast with nada and step father

(non-bpd and super passive...her whipping boy) and my little brother

who is also painted all good. Well, I wasn't feeling well and suffice

to say, I wasn't playing my role. I'm hard wired to know when I am

supposed to say something encouraging, admiring, placating, etc, etc.

And I didn't do it. She upped the ante by bringing up the election

(which she has done numerous times) and baiting my brother and I with

it. Instead of acting out our traditional roles, my brother and I

started making jokes about it and not taking her seriously. Oh crap,

can you imagine what happens next?! She storms out of the little tiny

restaurant to stand my the locked car all alone. My brother and I

apologized to my step father because we set her off and she will

really be tearing into him. He said, " hey, maybe she will bitch about

you guys all day instead of me " .

Ah, breakfast out with the family...

Of all this, here is what makes me feel the craziest...she's giving me

the almost-silent treatment and **I feel bad about it!** What the

hell?? I should be relieved that she's not calling me once or twice a

day...but I'm walking around feeling like I'm in trouble. Geeze...

I'm working through this but thought maybe I would put this out there

and see if you guys knew what I'm talking about...

Jacki