how lucky

[Guest guest]

I so miss posting and visiting here regularly....and though the people

at Oz are compassionate and give good insights....they are not you guys.

I know the how hard it is to survive a bp parent- here I sit doing

that each day...but I swear to you, the partners of the bp show such a

pain too. No one's pain or hearts I am trying to judge here- it all

hurts to the core of our souls...it so to amazing how different the

pain is revealed.

Even the whole Nc- thing is different, if you have a bp spouse you

get a divorce, a document society stamps their seal of approval on,

however go nc with a parent- and their is no seal of approval..except

the one you give yourself- and those who love you and truly understand

what you have gone through.

Where I see such a huge similiarity is this huge hope- they are

going to change, things will get better- but when it is our parent and

we are no longer living with that parent, we can do it from afar. When

it is your partner you are living with- it is an everyday- in your face

situation.

I also see people struggling to realize- they can't change them-

even when the stakes are high, and children they share are

involved..that is what just puts me over the top...I know how much a bp

parent can hurt their children--hello- here I am.

I truly know though- this group and Oz- has truly been a life-

saver- I know I am not alone...I know I can come here and receive hope,

empathy, compassion, respect and love.--and it is CONSISTENT!

Something nada, nor husband could give me, but you all showed we

are all capable of giving that to ourselves and yes to bothers.

So I just wanted to remind all of you- despite the soil you

where raised in- you bloomed into some amazing human beings. How lucky

I am to have you in my life.

malinda