And The Guilt Keeps On Coming

[Guest guest]

so i havent spoken to my fada since the VP debates when I called him

to discuss it and he ranted about me calling while he was busy (as if

i should magically know this) and that lead to beating me down about

everything hes mad about ......so I just stopped...I figure if you

cant take 5 minutes to talk to me then no big deal.....except usually

when i dont call him he freaks out and calls me incesently...He has

not called, not once......and despite the fact that I have no desire

to reach out to him, the fact that he has not done the same has left

me feeling unworthy and abandoned....I didnt think this was going to

happen, but after a week of no angry phone call it hit me like a ton

of bricks...It had me thinking the way i always do about how he really

doesnt care about me and that no matter what I do ill never win his

affection or attention.....I wish i was stronger then that, to not let

it bother me, NC is what i wanted anyway right?