The Bridge

[Guest guest]

I read this a few years back on this message board and found it

helpful. I saved it to reference when the guilt was setting in and I

was having difficulty with the position I have been placed in.

I'm sure many of you have seen this but for those who haven't, I hope

you find it helpful.

**The Bridge

**A Metaphor

There was a man who had given much thought to what he wanted from

life. He had experienced many moods and trials. He had experimented

with different ways of living, and he had had his share of both

success and failure. At last, he had begun to see clearly where he

wanted to go.

Diligently, he searched for the right opportunity. Sometimes he came

close, only to be pushed away. Often he applied all of his strength

and imagination, only to find the path hopelessly blocked. And then

at last it came! But the opportunity would not wait. It would be made

available only for a short time. If it were seen that he was not

committed, the opportunity would not come again.

Eager to arrive, he started on his journey. With each step, he wanted

to move faster; with each thought about his goal, his heart beat

quicker; with each vision of what lay ahead, he found renewed vigor.

Strength that had left since his early youth returned, and desires,

all kinds of desires, re-awakened from their long-dormant positions.

Hurrying along, he came upon a bridge that crossed through the middle

of a town. It had been built high above a river in order to protect

it from the floods of spring.

He started across. Then he noticed someone coming from the opposite

direction. As they moved closer, it seemed as though the other was

coming to greet him. He could clearly see, however, that he did not

know this other, who was dressed similarly except for something tied

around his waist.

When they were within hailing distance, he could see that what the

other had about his waist was a rope. It was wrapped around him many

times and probably, if extended, would reach a length of 30 feet.

The other began to uncurl the rope, and, just as they were coming

close, the stranger said, " Pardon me, would you be so kind as to hold

the end a moment? "

Surprised by this politely phrased but curious request, he agreed

without a thought, reached out, and took it.

" Thank you, " said the other, who then added, " two hands now, and

remember, hold tight. " Whereupon, the other jumped off the bridge.

Quickly, the free-falling body hurtled the distance of the ropes

length, and from the bridge, the man abruptly felt the pull.

Instinctively, he held tight and was almost dragged over the side. He

managed to brace himself against the edge, however, and after having

caught his breath looked down at the other dangling, close to

oblivion.

" What are you trying to do? " the man yelled.

" Just hold tight, " said the other

" This is ridiculous, " the man thought and began trying to haul the

other in. He could not get the leverage, however. It was as though

the weight of the other person and the length of the rope had been

carefully calculated in advance so that together they created a

counterweight just beyond his strength to bring the other back to

safety.

" Why did you do this? " the man called out.

" Remember, " said the other, " if you let go, I will be lost. "

" But I cannot pull you up, " the man cried.

" I am your responsibility, " said the other.

" Well, I did not ask for it, " the man said.

" If you let go, I am lost, " repeated the other.

He began to look around for help. But there was no one. How long

would he have to wait? Why did this happen to befall him now, just as

he was on the verge of true success? He examined the side, searching

for a place to tie the rope. Some protrusion, perhaps, or maybe a

hole in the boards. But the railing was unusually uniform in shape;

there were no spaces between the boards. There was no way to get rid

of this newfound burden, even temporarily.

" What do you want? " he asked the other hanging below.

" Just your help, " the other answered.

" How can I help? I cannot pull you in, and there is no place to tie

the rope so that I can go and find someone to help me help you. "

" I know that. Just hang on; that will be enough. Tie the rope around

your waist; it will be easier. "

Fearing that his arms could not hold out much longer, he tied the

rope around his waist.

" Why did you do this? " he asked again. " Dont you see what you have

done? What possible purpose could you have in mind? "

" Just remember, " said the other, " my life is in your hands. "

What should he do? " If I let go, all my life I will know that I let

this other die. If I stay, I risk losing my momentum toward my own

long-sought-after salvation. Either way, this will haunt me forever. "

With ironic humor he thought to die himself, instantly, to jump off

the bridge while he was still holding on. " That would teach this

fool. " But he wanted to live and live fully. " What a choice I have to

make; How shall I ever decide? "

As time went by, still no one came. The critical moment of decision

was drawing near. To show his commitment to his own goals, he would

have to continue on his journey now. It was already almost too late

to arrive in time. But what a terrible choice to have to make!

A new thought occurred to him. While he could not pull this other up

solely by his own efforts, if the other would shorten the rope from

his end by curling it around his waist again and again, together,

they could do it! Actually, the other could do it by himself, so long

as he, standing on the bridge, kept it still and steady.

" Now listen, " he shouted down. " I think I know how to save you. " And

he explained his plan.

But the other wasnt interested.

" You mean you wont help? But I told you I cannot pull you up myself,

and I dont think I can hang on much longer either. "

" You must try, " the stranger shouted back in tears. " If you fail, I

die! "

The point of decision had arrived. What should he do? " My life or

this others? " And then a new idea. A revelation. So new, in fact, it

seemed heretical, so alien was it to his traditional way of

thinking.

" I want you to listen carefully, " he said, " because I mean what I am

about to say. I will not accept the position of choice for your life,

only for my own; the position of choice for your own life I hereby

give back to you. "

" What do you mean? " the other asked, afraid.

" I mean, simply, its up to you. You decide which way this ends. I

will become the counterweight. You do the pulling and bring yourself

up. I will even tug a little from here. "

He began unwinding the rope from around his waist and braced himself

anew against the side.

" You cannot mean what you say! " the other shrieked. " You would not be

so selfish. I am your responsibility. What could be so important that

you would let someone die? Do not do this to me! "

He waited a moment. There was not change in the tension of the rope.

" I accept your choice, " he said, at last, and freed his hands.

- Edwin H. Friedman

From the book " Friedmans Fables "