ep

[Guest guest]

Hello every one,

My name is jenni and I am 25 years old,and i have delt with my first ep on jan 31st,00. It was the hardest thing to go through,I would like someone to help me deal with the pain and sadness. My friends and family tell me to get over it and go on with life. This was my first time and I never knew that i was pregnant,until it was too late. My e-mail address is skriel@...

IF any one can help me i would like to hear from you guys,i also feel that it is my fault that i lost our baby, I never got to hold him or her or to say goodbye. I was nine weeks along and i will balme myself because i should have nowen that i was pregnant. I am also on some antdepressent drugs and they are not helping. My baby would have been due the frist part of sep,and we are getting married sep 30,00. we would had a baby with us at our wedding. Thanks jenni

[Guest guest]

Jenni:

I am sorry for your loss and I have and still do occasionally feel like it was my fault for the ep. I think it is that maternal instinct that most women feel we should be able to protect our children from harm inside & out of the womb. However, it is not your fault, nor any of ours. I had my ep in Jan. of 2000 also (the 3rd), and I think until the actual time of my due date passes it is going to be rough. I think sometimes I should be feeling the baby kick now & I get all teary, I just take one day at a time. This group has made it easier to deal w/though, b/c it has made me realize I'm not alone, nor what I'm feeling is unusual. I hope we can help you do the same. We're here if you need us.

[Guest guest]

Jenni,

Welcome to our group. I am glad that you found us, but sorry you had the

need to. I am so sorry that you lost your baby. It is truly an awful

thing.

First of all, it was not your fault at all. You did nothing to cause the

ep, and there is nothing yet that can be done to " fix " the placement once

the baby has implanted itself in the tube. Believe, I'm sure all of the

gals here have felt that it is their fault at one time or another.

You didn't explain much about the loss ie, rupture, treated with metho,

etc., so if you have any questions, just dive right in. We have a lot of

experts here.

I will be praying for you.

Tara

PS Congrats on your upcoming wedding!!!!!

[Guest guest]

Jenni,

Welcome to our group. I'm sorry it had to be under these circumstances.

Please don't ever feel that an ep is your fault, because it isn't. We are

all here to help you in any way that we can. Sometimes just talking about

your situation helps. Everyone here is in various stages of recovery. I

have learned so much since I joined. I have cried and I have laughed. Most

of all, I have made so many friends. I hope you can do the same.

I had my ep in Sept of 99. I started to feel the pains on 9/9/99. Weird,

huh. Anyway, the pain got worse (I was on vacation, about 3 1/2 hours from

home) so by the time morning rolled around, I called my dr long distance. He

suggested seeking medical help if it got worse. It did, and my dh drove me

to the hospital 30 minutes away. To sum it all up, when they went in to look

for the ep, they discovered two ovarian cysts, removed them, had to remove

part of the tube where the ep was because it wouldn't stop bleeding. I have

a good tube (that remains to be seen) with an ovary that had part of it

removed.

When I was in the OR, I touched my right side and said a little good-bye

then. During my hospital stay, I think I was in so much shock that it didn't

really sink in. Yes, I knew what happened, but the magnitude of the loss

hadn't hit me yet.

When I got home my dh had to work that evening so I was alone with my

thoughts. I finally let it go and cried for a very long time. I also said

my good-byes. I remember feeling lost but at the same time, I wanted

answers. I wanted to know how this happened. When I found this site, I was

so elated! Shoulders to cry on, answers to my questions!

As I said before, we are all here for you. I hope you can find a little

peace here.

Take care,

L