Nada's Phoney Act

[Guest guest]

I wondered if my mom has a touch of narcissim as well as BPD.

Whatever it is she is severely so. She does have quite an opinion of

herself at times. Is arrogant in her way. But, most would never

know it because she puts on such a phoney act about how wonderful the

other person is she is talking to...buttering strangers up when she

knows nothing about them. She doesn't know if they have those traits

or not.

I get completely disgusted now that I realize how phoney she really

is at times. As she's gotten older, she has told me her tactics.

I'm amazed to see how little of her is real.

She somehow sees it her duty to tell me why she is talking to this

person that way...and what she thinks I should say to them in that

situation to get her way. It's all an act. So much of

her " Niceness " isn't real. I didn't realize that as a child.

Though, I did pick up on the fact that she changed completely when

someone knocked on the door or the telephone rang. And I thought how

odd it was that people acted so different for guests than family.

Because, it seemed to me that family should be the one's treated

best. I thought this two facedness was normal.

Now, I'm starting to recognize the changes in her voice and what they

mean. She has this little twang in her voice when she's feeling

quite a bit better than others. It grates on my nerves when I hear

it.

She has this " Oh, look " thing she sais to grab attention and then

she'll flatter you with something like how cute this or that is about

you. Later, she'll comment to someone else that was the ugliest

thing she's seen.

But, talk about phoney. I just can't stand it! Makes me want to

throw up. Then, she uses it on me and I think " Are you an idiot?

I've known you too long to believe you. "

Sometimes, she'll forget to be phoney and be just plain rude. We

went with some folks to a workshop. And there were several

overweight ladies with us. She grabbed one person's arm and

said, " Oh, let's walk ahead of them. Atleast, we're not fat. "

She didn't even try to talk softly...it was obviously a comment meant

to hurt & degrade. I guess she didn't find them good enough to put

on her show for. I would have rather hung out with them than her any

day.