Guest guest Posted August 27, 2008 Report Share Posted August 27, 2008 I am so sorry that you have had such a difficult summer. My nada has also threatened suicide to me when I wouldn't let her in my house bc she seemed so unstable & irrational. She then turned around and denied that she did it when I tried to get her some help. It was the most unsettling thing I have experienced in all the years of craziness with her. My thoughts are with you. You deserve happiness and peace. Karin > > Ok, I've been reading this for a while, and thinking really hard, and trying to make it > through this summer, but these last few days, I really don't think I'm gonna make it sanely > out of here. > My mother attempted suicide in the beginning of the summer, in response to me trying to > leave for an internship. > > Other then the fact that I'm highly resentful of being kept from an internship that I was > very excited about, she refused to go to therapy after the event (after reading a few things > about this disorder, I realize this shouldn't surprise me)....so its been a few months of her > spiraling into a deeper and deeper madness...she pray incessantly, she moans outloud > over everything, she criticizes everything I do...my hair, my clothe, my moral > character...non-stop.....(mind you, my room is a mess, but its really because I hate it, I'm > sleeping on a twin mattress on top of two box springs, that I don't even fit on anymore > and my hair is a little frizzy, but really....) > > My younger sister has been at camp most of the summer but when she did return home it > was always world war III......then camp ended and my sister spiraled into her own deep > depression, and then attempted suicide a week ago. I was trying my hardest to keep her > talking and open to me, but I guess that there are things I just can't fix on my own. > > > Well, now my sister is in a psych ward, and my mother is losing it. To the point where I'm > fearful for her life, never mind any iota of sanity she may have left... > > I have a week before I get to school. But the daily attacks and madness, and god damn > prayer, I don't know if I can make it without breaking something, flipping out, etc. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2008 Report Share Posted August 27, 2008 Hang in there. It is really unfair that your mother wants you to feel like you have any control over what she does with her life. I'm sorry to hear your sister is depressed, too. I've been there and wouldn't wish it on anybody--but I've come to understand that it's a fairly common response to being raised by a mother with bpd. That said, if your mother is depressed and suicidal, she clearly poses a danger to herself. Have you considered talking to her doctor? She may need to be hospitalized, whether she wants to be or not. You are not responsible for what your mother (or sister, for that matter) does in response to her depression. IMO, if you want to help, call the doctor or an ambulance. But it is not up to you to make them better. That's their job--and they can do it with the proper treatment. If either of them says, " I'm going to kill myself if you (fill in the blank) " , please realize that this is very manipulative and is not fair to you. I recommend telling her so, and stating that you will help by calling an ambulance, but that she is responsible for her own decisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2008 Report Share Posted August 27, 2008 What a mess! From my experience I expect this behaviour will continue until she gets what she wants...you not going...ever. Well, my nada is 82 and because she's in a nursing home, for the first time since I was about 15, I don't have to take her threats of suicide seriously. Don't wait until you are my age to put the responsibility for her life or death on her and your life on you. My nada attempted suicide when I moved out the first time as well, but she called 911 herself. I feel that for her, she was unhappy, but suicide threats were simply manipulative behaviour to get her way, but you can never be sure. I feel awful for you. What a mess. It makes you feel fear and anger. NOT FAIR to do that to your child. Around here we can get people committed if they are a danger to themselves or others, but only for 72 hours at a time. Have you spoken to your family doctor? Do you have a father, relatives? Bottom line though, you do what you can so she can choose to help herself (give her distress lines to call etc., therapist phone #) and then live your own life. You deserve to take care of yourself and are not responsible for her choices. It's been my experience that she will NEVER let you go free, YOU must do that for yourself AND NOT LOOK BACK. Don't let her win. I wish I had known that at your age. There is no way that a child is qualified to deal with a mentally ill person. Set your boundaries now(she will intensify her behaviour as a result...be prepared not to fall for the guilt ploy) and tell her she must find someone else to help her with mental issues and not use her children's lives to do that. You need energy to live your own life. Her life, her choice. Sounds harsh, but that's my take. I guess I still have some anger issues to work out. Good Luck and don't pass up that internship! > > > > Ok, I've been reading this for a while, and thinking really hard, > and trying to make it > > through this summer, but these last few days, I really don't think > I'm gonna make it sanely > > out of here. > > My mother attempted suicide in the beginning of the summer, in > response to me trying to > > leave for an internship. > > > > Other then the fact that I'm highly resentful of being kept from an > internship that I was > > very excited about, she refused to go to therapy after the event > (after reading a few things > > about this disorder, I realize this shouldn't surprise me)....so > its been a few months of her > > spiraling into a deeper and deeper madness...she pray incessantly, > she moans outloud > > over everything, she criticizes everything I do...my hair, my > clothe, my moral > > character...non-stop.....(mind you, my room is a mess, but its > really because I hate it, I'm > > sleeping on a twin mattress on top of two box springs, that I don't > even fit on anymore > > and my hair is a little frizzy, but really....) > > > > My younger sister has been at camp most of the summer but when she > did return home it > > was always world war III......then camp ended and my sister > spiraled into her own deep > > depression, and then attempted suicide a week ago. I was trying my > hardest to keep her > > talking and open to me, but I guess that there are things I just > can't fix on my own. > > > > > > Well, now my sister is in a psych ward, and my mother is losing it. > To the point where I'm > > fearful for her life, never mind any iota of sanity she may have > left... > > > > I have a week before I get to school. But the daily attacks and > madness, and god damn > > prayer, I don't know if I can make it without breaking something, > flipping out, etc. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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