Re: Trying to Steal My Joy

[Guest guest]

man, you need to get away from your mom asap. do you have any other

relatives close? any friends? a shelter? ANYTHING? this is

behavior towards you and your children is SO wrong.

bink

>

> Hey everyone. well ,, another huge scene at home. My son

found " his

> first car " i of course wanted to be a part in helping him get his

> first car by co-signing. he was very excited, its a great deal

2000

> for mustang. a young mans dream car. I had a very bad feeling all

> day, that something very bad would go down when we got home. and i

> was right. it started almost the instant i got home. i don't

really

> even know where to start or how to explain the chain of events. it

> got so bad. she started off by informing me i didn't have good

> enough credit to help him out, since i already have a loan out on

my

> car. but she came across like, how the hell do you think you can

> help him? and escalated to you are worthless, always have been and

> always will be. she even before attacking me called my son outside

> to tell him just how sorry i was, about previous drug use and how

she

> is certain i still abuse drugs, and i will end up going to jail.

> WTF??? true, i did abuse drugs years ago.. wonder why?????????

but

> sure don't now.. sometimes ,, thinking it would be a great escape

> from this hell. but i know from experience, it doesn't help. shes

> still here now matter how high i get. anyway, it was a terrible

> fight, screaming, putting fingers in my face, all that. i said why

> do you have to take away a happy time from him and me and turn it

> into this, so it can all be about you.??? she offered to give him

> the money, at an interest rate to be determined later. i told him,

> please do NOT do this,, it would be a huge mistake, she will hold

it

> over your head forever. The next morning i got up at 4 am, trying

to

> get the swelling down in my eyes emough to go to work. i look

> horrific with swollen, puffy eyes..not a first though. but, good

> news we got the loan without her help. she acted happy, like

nothing

> ever even happened the night before. i refuse to allow her to

black

> mail my children for her HELP, like she has. me.

>

[Guest guest]

man, you need to get away from your mom asap. do you have any other

relatives close? any friends? a shelter? ANYTHING? this is

behavior towards you and your children is SO wrong.

bink

>

> Hey everyone. well ,, another huge scene at home. My son

found " his

> first car " i of course wanted to be a part in helping him get his

> first car by co-signing. he was very excited, its a great deal

2000

> for mustang. a young mans dream car. I had a very bad feeling all

> day, that something very bad would go down when we got home. and i

> was right. it started almost the instant i got home. i don't

really

> even know where to start or how to explain the chain of events. it

> got so bad. she started off by informing me i didn't have good

> enough credit to help him out, since i already have a loan out on

my

> car. but she came across like, how the hell do you think you can

> help him? and escalated to you are worthless, always have been and

> always will be. she even before attacking me called my son outside

> to tell him just how sorry i was, about previous drug use and how

she

> is certain i still abuse drugs, and i will end up going to jail.

> WTF??? true, i did abuse drugs years ago.. wonder why?????????

but

> sure don't now.. sometimes ,, thinking it would be a great escape

> from this hell. but i know from experience, it doesn't help. shes

> still here now matter how high i get. anyway, it was a terrible

> fight, screaming, putting fingers in my face, all that. i said why

> do you have to take away a happy time from him and me and turn it

> into this, so it can all be about you.??? she offered to give him

> the money, at an interest rate to be determined later. i told him,

> please do NOT do this,, it would be a huge mistake, she will hold

it

> over your head forever. The next morning i got up at 4 am, trying

to

> get the swelling down in my eyes emough to go to work. i look

> horrific with swollen, puffy eyes..not a first though. but, good

> news we got the loan without her help. she acted happy, like

nothing

> ever even happened the night before. i refuse to allow her to

black

> mail my children for her HELP, like she has. me.

>

[Guest guest]

man, you need to get away from your mom asap. do you have any other

relatives close? any friends? a shelter? ANYTHING? this is

behavior towards you and your children is SO wrong.

bink

>

> Hey everyone. well ,, another huge scene at home. My son

found " his

> first car " i of course wanted to be a part in helping him get his

> first car by co-signing. he was very excited, its a great deal

2000

> for mustang. a young mans dream car. I had a very bad feeling all

> day, that something very bad would go down when we got home. and i

> was right. it started almost the instant i got home. i don't

really

> even know where to start or how to explain the chain of events. it

> got so bad. she started off by informing me i didn't have good

> enough credit to help him out, since i already have a loan out on

my

> car. but she came across like, how the hell do you think you can

> help him? and escalated to you are worthless, always have been and

> always will be. she even before attacking me called my son outside

> to tell him just how sorry i was, about previous drug use and how

she

> is certain i still abuse drugs, and i will end up going to jail.

> WTF??? true, i did abuse drugs years ago.. wonder why?????????

but

> sure don't now.. sometimes ,, thinking it would be a great escape

> from this hell. but i know from experience, it doesn't help. shes

> still here now matter how high i get. anyway, it was a terrible

> fight, screaming, putting fingers in my face, all that. i said why

> do you have to take away a happy time from him and me and turn it

> into this, so it can all be about you.??? she offered to give him

> the money, at an interest rate to be determined later. i told him,

> please do NOT do this,, it would be a huge mistake, she will hold

it

> over your head forever. The next morning i got up at 4 am, trying

to

> get the swelling down in my eyes emough to go to work. i look

> horrific with swollen, puffy eyes..not a first though. but, good

> news we got the loan without her help. she acted happy, like

nothing

> ever even happened the night before. i refuse to allow her to

black

> mail my children for her HELP, like she has. me.

>

[Guest guest]

man, you need to get away from your mom asap. do you have any other

relatives close? any friends? a shelter? ANYTHING? this is

behavior towards you and your children is SO wrong.

bink

>

> Hey everyone. well ,, another huge scene at home. My son

found " his

> first car " i of course wanted to be a part in helping him get his

> first car by co-signing. he was very excited, its a great deal

2000

> for mustang. a young mans dream car. I had a very bad feeling all

> day, that something very bad would go down when we got home. and i

> was right. it started almost the instant i got home. i don't

really

> even know where to start or how to explain the chain of events. it

> got so bad. she started off by informing me i didn't have good

> enough credit to help him out, since i already have a loan out on

my

> car. but she came across like, how the hell do you think you can

> help him? and escalated to you are worthless, always have been and

> always will be. she even before attacking me called my son outside

> to tell him just how sorry i was, about previous drug use and how

she

> is certain i still abuse drugs, and i will end up going to jail.

> WTF??? true, i did abuse drugs years ago.. wonder why?????????

but

> sure don't now.. sometimes ,, thinking it would be a great escape

> from this hell. but i know from experience, it doesn't help. shes

> still here now matter how high i get. anyway, it was a terrible

> fight, screaming, putting fingers in my face, all that. i said why

> do you have to take away a happy time from him and me and turn it

> into this, so it can all be about you.??? she offered to give him

> the money, at an interest rate to be determined later. i told him,

> please do NOT do this,, it would be a huge mistake, she will hold

it

> over your head forever. The next morning i got up at 4 am, trying

to

> get the swelling down in my eyes emough to go to work. i look

> horrific with swollen, puffy eyes..not a first though. but, good

> news we got the loan without her help. she acted happy, like

nothing

> ever even happened the night before. i refuse to allow her to

black

> mail my children for her HELP, like she has. me.

>

[Guest guest]

--- ,

First I want to say I am so sorry for what you have gone through

and what you are currently experiencing. I am also so happy your son

got the loan and without her help.

I have a grown daughter and it is like the cancer of this

disease spreads to even our children via our parents. I would always

get so upset when my mother's poison would be given to my daughter

and it has happened so many times.

I also can relate how they turn your life upside down and yet,

they actlike nothing happened....it is truly sick. I just have such

empathy for you....and the strings attached to their acts of

kindness, can strangle you..

Her unkind word to you are a reflection of her, you are not the

sum of your past...you are the hope and joy of who you are today,

please remember that.

Take care of yourself,

Malinda

In WTOAdultChildren1 , " lisamledford "

wrote:

>

> Hey everyone. well ,, another huge scene at home. My son

found " his

> first car " i of course wanted to be a part in helping him get his

> first car by co-signing. he was very excited, its a great deal

2000

> for mustang. a young mans dream car. I had a very bad feeling all

> day, that something very bad would go down when we got home. and i

> was right. it started almost the instant i got home. i don't

really

> even know where to start or how to explain the chain of events. it

> got so bad. she started off by informing me i didn't have good

> enough credit to help him out, since i already have a loan out on

my

> car. but she came across like, how the hell do you think you can

> help him? and escalated to you are worthless, always have been and

> always will be. she even before attacking me called my son outside

> to tell him just how sorry i was, about previous drug use and how

she

> is certain i still abuse drugs, and i will end up going to jail.

> WTF??? true, i did abuse drugs years ago.. wonder why?????????

but

> sure don't now.. sometimes ,, thinking it would be a great escape

> from this hell. but i know from experience, it doesn't help. shes

> still here now matter how high i get. anyway, it was a terrible

> fight, screaming, putting fingers in my face, all that. i said why

> do you have to take away a happy time from him and me and turn it

> into this, so it can all be about you.??? she offered to give him

> the money, at an interest rate to be determined later. i told him,

> please do NOT do this,, it would be a huge mistake, she will hold

it

> over your head forever. The next morning i got up at 4 am, trying

to

> get the swelling down in my eyes emough to go to work. i look

> horrific with swollen, puffy eyes..not a first though. but, good

> news we got the loan without her help. she acted happy, like

nothing

> ever even happened the night before. i refuse to allow her to

black

> mail my children for her HELP, like she has. me.

>

[Guest guest]

thanks Malinda for your kind words. you have no idea how welcomed

your comment is. Sometimes, I feel so beathen down by her and her

words that I feel so bad about myself. I think, damn it.. why did i

make so many mistakes that she can through up in my face., but i have

to remind myself that those mistakes happened along time ago, and in

her eyes I will never, ever live them down. She forgets about the 10

years that I allowed her to live with me ( and probably helped ruin

my marriage) when she was in between her married sugar daddies.

Words of encouragement all also a good thing... thanks. i still

haven't quite recovered from the last attack. they seem to get worse

each time. I really think she is completely losing her mind. There

was such a sinister look about her and she seemed so pleased with

herself for turning what could have been such an exciting and happy

time for us into an out and out disaster. Hopefully, I will soon get

my much anticipated raise and be able to go NC.. I dream of the day

that happens. I told her.. you know you really try to make me wish I

wasn't even alive, she responded with..no YOU WISH I WAS DEAD, but

this is MY place, and I will be here for a LONG time. I said, it may

be your place, but you sure didn't earn it, you just happen to

inherit it so don't act so proud with me, because we both know your

history too. But, you know, there is really no point in arguing with

her, and I know this, but I did it do protect my children, or maybe I

am just trying to make sure she doesn't accomplish her plan to

brainwash them into beleiving i am a no good failure. They both (

the 2 older ones stayed right by side the rest of the night while I

just sobbed ), they are boys, 16 and 18 and they are very protective

of me. The youngest a 5 year old girl slept through it all thank

goodness. Back, when I was going through my troubles with my

addiction i had to be very dependant on her because of the situation

i had gotten myself into, and she told me during the fight, that

things had to go back to being just like they were when I knew I

needed her. How sick is that???

> >

> > Hey everyone. well ,, another huge scene at home. My son

> found " his

> > first car " i of course wanted to be a part in helping him get

his

> > first car by co-signing. he was very excited, its a great deal

> 2000

> > for mustang. a young mans dream car. I had a very bad feeling

all

> > day, that something very bad would go down when we got home. and

i

> > was right. it started almost the instant i got home. i don't

> really

> > even know where to start or how to explain the chain of events.

it

> > got so bad. she started off by informing me i didn't have good

> > enough credit to help him out, since i already have a loan out on

> my

> > car. but she came across like, how the hell do you think you can

> > help him? and escalated to you are worthless, always have been

and

> > always will be. she even before attacking me called my son

outside

> > to tell him just how sorry i was, about previous drug use and how

> she

> > is certain i still abuse drugs, and i will end up going to jail.

> > WTF??? true, i did abuse drugs years ago.. wonder why?????????

> but

> > sure don't now.. sometimes ,, thinking it would be a great

escape

> > from this hell. but i know from experience, it doesn't help.

shes

> > still here now matter how high i get. anyway, it was a terrible

> > fight, screaming, putting fingers in my face, all that. i said

why

> > do you have to take away a happy time from him and me and turn it

> > into this, so it can all be about you.??? she offered to give

him

> > the money, at an interest rate to be determined later. i told

him,

> > please do NOT do this,, it would be a huge mistake, she will hold

> it

> > over your head forever. The next morning i got up at 4 am,

trying

> to

> > get the swelling down in my eyes emough to go to work. i look

> > horrific with swollen, puffy eyes..not a first though. but, good

> > news we got the loan without her help. she acted happy, like

> nothing

> > ever even happened the night before. i refuse to allow her to

> black

> > mail my children for her HELP, like she has. me.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, I know bink, its bad, worse than I could have ever imagined. I

thought during this argument, maybe I will make her so mad she will

just have a massive heart attack. isn't that just awful??, but I

did. but, the sick part of this is she was really getting off on how

upset she got me. No, I really don't have any where to turn right

now, i have a very close friend, but she doesn't have room for me and

3 children. I found a rental I am going to look at next week. I just

dont see anyway of coming up with all the money needed right now. I

will just go back to pretending she isn't here and try my best to not

go there with her, just walk away and get in my car and leave when

she tries to start again. I have too, my work is even affected,

because I find it so hard to focus lately. I feel like I have ADD ,

I can't remember things I am suppose to do, I am irritable with

others. One good thing is I start therapy next week, on Thursday, I

sure hope this therapist is familar BPD., or else they will think I

am the disturbed when I tell them I hate my own mother.

> >

> > Hey everyone. well ,, another huge scene at home. My son

> found " his

> > first car " i of course wanted to be a part in helping him get

his

> > first car by co-signing. he was very excited, its a great deal

> 2000

> > for mustang. a young mans dream car. I had a very bad feeling

all

> > day, that something very bad would go down when we got home. and

i

> > was right. it started almost the instant i got home. i don't

> really

> > even know where to start or how to explain the chain of events.

it

> > got so bad. she started off by informing me i didn't have good

> > enough credit to help him out, since i already have a loan out on

> my

> > car. but she came across like, how the hell do you think you can

> > help him? and escalated to you are worthless, always have been

and

> > always will be. she even before attacking me called my son

outside

> > to tell him just how sorry i was, about previous drug use and how

> she

> > is certain i still abuse drugs, and i will end up going to jail.

> > WTF??? true, i did abuse drugs years ago.. wonder why?????????

> but

> > sure don't now.. sometimes ,, thinking it would be a great

escape

> > from this hell. but i know from experience, it doesn't help.

shes

> > still here now matter how high i get. anyway, it was a terrible

> > fight, screaming, putting fingers in my face, all that. i said

why

> > do you have to take away a happy time from him and me and turn it

> > into this, so it can all be about you.??? she offered to give

him

> > the money, at an interest rate to be determined later. i told

him,

> > please do NOT do this,, it would be a huge mistake, she will hold

> it

> > over your head forever. The next morning i got up at 4 am,

trying

> to

> > get the swelling down in my eyes emough to go to work. i look

> > horrific with swollen, puffy eyes..not a first though. but, good

> > news we got the loan without her help. she acted happy, like

> nothing

> > ever even happened the night before. i refuse to allow her to

> black

> > mail my children for her HELP, like she has. me.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Good for you!  That's very strong of you.  My BPD husband does the very same

thing.  He goes crazy when the event isn't about him.  He offers to help our

kids out with money just so he can hold it over them.  He goes to great lengths

to get them if they don't comply.

Trying to Steal My Joy

Hey everyone. well ,, another huge scene at home. My son found " his

first car " i of course wanted to be a part in helping him get his

first car by co-signing. he was very excited, its a great deal 2000

for mustang. a young mans dream car. I had a very bad feeling all

day, that something very bad would go down when we got home. and i

was right. it started almost the instant i got home. i don't really

even know where to start or how to explain the chain of events. it

got so bad. she started off by informing me i didn't have good

enough credit to help him out, since i already have a loan out on my

car. but she came across like, how the hell do you think you can

help him? and escalated to you are worthless, always have been and

always will be. she even before attacking me called my son outside

to tell him just how sorry i was, about previous drug use and how she

is certain i still abuse drugs, and i will end up going to jail.

WTF??? true, i did abuse drugs years ago.. wonder why????????? but

sure don't now.. sometimes ,, thinking it would be a great escape

from this hell. but i know from experience, it doesn't help. shes

still here now matter how high i get. anyway, it was a terrible

fight, screaming, putting fingers in my face, all that. i said why

do you have to take away a happy time from him and me and turn it

into this, so it can all be about you.??? she offered to give him

the money, at an interest rate to be determined later. i told him,

please do NOT do this,, it would be a huge mistake, she will hold it

over your head forever. The next morning i got up at 4 am, trying to

get the swelling down in my eyes emough to go to work. i look

horrific with swollen, puffy eyes..not a first though. but, good

news we got the loan without her help. she acted happy, like nothing

ever even happened the night before. i refuse to allow her to black

mail my children for her HELP, like she has. me.

[Guest guest]

BPDs must also be major narcissists at heart as well. God, how I hate those

people. Can't we just round them up and send them all to an island?

Subject: Re: Trying to Steal My Joy

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Sunday, August 24, 2008, 3:44 AM

Good for you!  That's very strong of you.  My BPD husband does the very

same thing.  He goes crazy when the event isn't about him.  He offers to

help our kids out with money just so he can hold it over them.  He goes to

great lengths to get them if they don't comply.

Trying to Steal My Joy

Hey everyone. well ,, another huge scene at home. My son found " his

first car " i of course wanted to be a part in helping him get his

first car by co-signing. he was very excited, its a great deal 2000

for mustang. a young mans dream car. I had a very bad feeling all

day, that something very bad would go down when we got home. and i

was right. it started almost the instant i got home. i don't really

even know where to start or how to explain the chain of events. it

got so bad. she started off by informing me i didn't have good

enough credit to help him out, since i already have a loan out on my

car. but she came across like, how the hell do you think you can

help him? and escalated to you are worthless, always have been and

always will be. she even before attacking me called my son outside

to tell him just how sorry i was, about previous drug use and how she

is certain i still abuse drugs, and i will end up going to jail.

WTF??? true, i did abuse drugs years ago.. wonder why????????? but

sure don't now.. sometimes ,, thinking it would be a great escape

from this hell. but i know from experience, it doesn't help. shes

still here now matter how high i get. anyway, it was a terrible

fight, screaming, putting fingers in my face, all that. i said why

do you have to take away a happy time from him and me and turn it

into this, so it can all be about you.??? she offered to give him

the money, at an interest rate to be determined later. i told him,

please do NOT do this,, it would be a huge mistake, she will hold it

over your head forever. The next morning i got up at 4 am, trying to

get the swelling down in my eyes emough to go to work. i look

horrific with swollen, puffy eyes..not a first though. but, good

news we got the loan without her help. she acted happy, like nothing

ever even happened the night before. i refuse to allow her to black

mail my children for her HELP, like she has. me.