Amy

[Guest guest]

Pam,

I know what you mean about him dh not understanding what you're going

through. knows what happened, and it hurts him. But for me, part of

the pain is knowing that I am the reason we can't have anymore kids. I've

tried to express this to him several times. We are the same way when we

argue. But sometimes he doesn't want to talk and I do, or he wants to talk

and I don't. It gets kind of weird.

Well, are you still not going to go to the party? In my opinion, you need to

do what is best for you. Is there anyway you can make dh understand this?

I have no idea how I got this far ahead of you! I thought we were only a

couple of days apart. We must have been around four or five. Do you think

this month was successful? Well, I guess you'll know soon, huh? Good luck!

I've pretty much given up on this cycle already (and I am only 4 days in).

It's bc AF turned into AS. I'm still taking my clomid like a good little

girl, and we will still make a stab at it. But I'm not counting on anything.

The dr called yesterday, and I was on the road all day. I drove from NC to

Mississippi. So I have to call today and see if they'll let me talk to him,

or if he'll have to call back again.

Well, I guess this all.

Amy

[Guest guest]

Pam,

Sorry it has taken so long for me to respond. I haven't been checking my mail

as regularly.

I hope that seeing your therapist again will help you. Seeing mine was helpful

for the fertility thing. Just not so much everything else I have. I'm sorry

you've been feeling so down lately though. I hope things will start looking up

for you.

Well, I know there's more I would like to say, but my brain isn't processing it

right now. I'm just going to end this before I ramble.

I hope you feel better!

Amy

[Guest guest]

Pam and Amy:

I got to that point where I was driving myself and everyone around me crazy

with my obsession to ttc. I was not taking anything. I knew I had to give

up or I was going to end up truly nuts. At that point it had been two and a

half years and two losses since we started ttc. There comes a point where

you have to let it go and take things one day at a time...

I am not saying that is what you need to do. I would never tell anyone to

" relax " and it will happen. However, I do believe that the stress of all

that trying only made things worse for us...maybe not from the physical

standpoint of actually conceiving, but emotionally it strained us to the

breaking point at times. It got to where we did not want to BD - all the

fun was gone.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that you have to come to that place

in your mindset where you make a decision to take life as it

comes...whatever it brings. That's what we did. We did not stop ttc. We

did not stop going to the doctor or making plans for what to try next...but

we tried to take life one day at a time and enjoy TODAY.

I sure hope this did not come out as a lecture. I did not mean it that way.

I just wanted you both to know that I have been there and KNOW how you feel,

and how I was able to get past it by making the decision to love my life no

matter what the future brought. That does not happen overnight, and there

are still days when I am frustrated, down and depressed about everything

that has happened, but generally speaking I don't feel like I am one step

away from being on a rooftop with a rifle anymore. (That was a lame

analogy, but I was pretty obsessed and crazy at one point). I went to bed

and woke up crying more times than I can count.

Love you guys,

[Guest guest]

Pam,

Unfortunately, I have to be referred to a specialist by the drs I'm seeing

now. Then it will just be to another military dr anyway. It sucks, but I

don't have much say in what dr I go to. The whole situation sucks. With

this, and 's orders for Korea, I feel like I'm being slapped in the face

by reality everytime I think I will be happy again. I start to think

positively about getting pg again and about going (or should I say not

going), and something else happens to tell me it's not gonna happen.

To tell you the truth, I am not really sure why I'm clomid. Supposedly to

increase my chances, but from what I've learned on this list, the clomid's

not really going to help. I don't know what kind of estrogen I am on. All I

know is that it starts with a p. Lots of help, huh? I haven't picked up

that or my clomid yet. I want to make sure that I am not pg before I go

stand in the long lines that exist in my hosp pharmacy. I still have a few

more days to go.

I don't know if I worded what the dr told me right about the clomid. He told

me that when clomid is pulled back from an early dosage to a late dosage,

there is a 15% chance of a pg resulting in twins. I think it is usually 3%

or something like that. Anyway, I think what he was saying was of that 3%,

15% of them had their doses pulled back. Does this make sense? I don't

know. I'm not going to worry about it. I'll just take it on days 5-9. That

is what his instructions were. (Doesn't that mean that I will O later, and

have AF later, though?)

Well, later.

Amy

[Guest guest]

Pam,

That's cool. Thank you. You said it's on egroups right?

Amy

[Guest guest]

Pam,

My temp was 97.1 this morning. I guess the high temps were due to stress,

and the irregular sleeping I did. On Saturday, we fell asleep on the sofa,

and I woke up several times before finally going to bed--about an hour before

taking my temp. I guess I probably didn't sleep too well on Sunday, either.

But last night I slept great. And it went down. I knew that sleep problems

affect temps, but I didn't realize they could alter it by almost a whole

degree! Well, basically this means we still have a few days left this cycle

(good thing we didn't just give up when it went up) and we are going to take

advantage of them!! I figure I have a day or two left, so we should be

keeping busy!! LOL

Thank you for asking!

Amy

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I'm so sorry. Don't make any decisions yet. I would wait until you know for sure what exactly is going to happen. We are here for you.

Dawn

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I am so sorry. What is the thnig you are missing and is it possible it

can be replaced before he is sent? I pray he is not sent. I don't know what

the best plan of action for you is at this time. Please let us know what is

going on, honey. ((((HUGS)))Kim

[Guest guest]

Krista,

Thanks!!! I am actually feeling alot better today. The pain isn't

completely gone, but in comparison to the past few days it is very dull. I

went for my follow-up appt this morning, and he said that it looks fine. I

expressed my concern for brushing properly, and he said that I am doing fine

and just brush until it gets tender then stop. So I guess I'm doing fine.

He said that pain right now is normal bc of the way it was growing in and

that I'll probably have it for a while. He said keep heat on it and as long

as it gets a little bit better each day he won't need to see me again. He

said he wanted to give me something stronger than percocet, but I couldn't

get anything else at my hospital pharmacy. So I continue to just load up on

motrin and tylenol when I need it. It works for the most part, although

yesterday I had myself a nice little crying fit. (It's a good thing that

those come after gets home.) I'm hoping to feel better by Sunday.

wants to take me out to eat, so I'd like to be able to enjoy it. We

went to Taco Bell last night, and I got chicken soft tacos, but they weren't

soft enough. I had to come home and take some motrin. Oh, well!!!

Well, I took a simple little thank you and turned it into a story!!!! I get

that from my dad. Such a talker, we are. Well, I hope everybody is having a

good day!!!! Bye!!!!!

Amy

(Wife to my Army man, .

Mommy to , and my

two precious angel babies.)

[Guest guest]

Chelsea,

I had a rabbit once, when I was 7th or 8th grade. I loved him to death, but

he liked to bite. I don't know what kind of rabbit he was. My cousin's

boyfriend bought him from his cousin for me. All I can tell you was that he

was an albino. My dad gave him away, though, then the people he gave them to

(my friend's sisters) left him outside (in a cage) and someone stole him. I

was so mad at my dad. I told him it was all his fault.

Well, bye!

Amy

[Guest guest]

Amy:

I felt the same way you do a while back - overwhelmed by all the mail and

not sure I fit in any more...Going on digest mode was the answer for me. I

can still reply to newcomers and offer support to others, but the mail is

not so overwhelming to me and I can reply to a few or no emails if I wish.

Made it a lot easier

Just my 2 cents

[Guest guest]

,

Yes, I will be going to live with my parents. You are so right about the

mommy thing. That is exactly how I am. Anytime I have a prob, no matter how

big or small, I call her to just cry. Sometimes I don't tell her the whold

story, but her voice and reassurance do alot to help. I know that while I'm

there many nights will come where she stays with me until I fall asleep.

She's done this all my life when things are bad. She'll sit in my room, hold

my hand, and wait til I'm asleep to go to bed. No matter how late, and she

likes to go to bed early. I love my mommy. She is one of my 3 favorite

people in the world ( and too). None of them are my absolute

favorite bc they all offer me different kinds of comfort. I called my mom

and told her I thought I was having another ep before I told . They are

all reliable. If I didn't have my mom I don't know what I'd be doing. I

could never stand to live with just my dad. The closeness that my mom and I

share is something that I will always treasure. I hope I can have that with

when she grows up. Okay. I think I'm just ranting on here. About

my mom, though. See how much I love her.

well, later.

Amy

[Guest guest]

Jenn, He's in the army. Strange thing is he will reenlist if he gets out of

going to Korea now. Only for 3years at station of choice with no chance of

deployment though. I think later on I would be fine if he had to go for a

while, but right now I'm trying to cope with losses and having to cope with

him being gone is too much. I know that if this had happened before my ep's

I would have survived and wouldn't have been upset. But, like I said, coping

with losses and the idea of him being gone is just too much. Then again,

things happen in bulk to me. I can have an uneventful life and then suddenly

the bad things come and don't let up. Maybe this spell is almost over. Hope

Hope Hope

Amy

[Guest guest]

Pam,

He will come be able to come home for 30 days one time. Not much, really.

but I guess it's better than not for the whole year

Amy

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I am glad your family is there for you. I would hate for you to be

alone while your dh is away. Does he get to come home at all?

Pam

[Guest guest]

Thanks Amy, I'm glad you are back!!

Vicki

amy11679@... wrote:

>

> Hi! I'm sorry I missed your birthday. I hope you had a wonderful day.

> Amy

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Old school buds here:

> http://click./1/4057/4/_/26068/_/960430276/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Pam, thanks!!

We don't know what's going to happen, but we are hoping for good news!

How are you feeling? Are you feeling better since the surgery?

Amy

*CD 22, 5 dpo

*TTC 2 years

*Earth Angel, (6/18/97)

*Angel Babies, 6/98 and 7/99 (D & C and metho both times)

[Guest guest]

Pam,

Good luck! I hope this works for you. I'll be thinking of you this month!

Amy

*CD22, 5 dpo

*TTC 2 years

*Earth Angel, (6/18/97)

*Angel Babies, 6/98 and 7/99 (D & C and metho both times)

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I am feeling much better. I started really feeling better on Friday.

What a difference a week makes. I have my follow up appt this

Thursday. I am very eager to get started. I feel like this is the

first time in 2 years that I actually have a chance at achieving pg.

Pam

[Guest guest]

Amy, I just want to say I'm happy you're here. It's just good to see a mom care so much about her daughter. I'm glad the group comforts you. It comforts me too in a very difficult time. I don't know how much I can help you. I don't know if I have wisdom to share...I'm not a mother, but I have been a teenager. I do want to say that some of Honey's problems may be normal for a teen. Not to say it's not all compounded by the zoloft. I know it is. But I went through insecurities that were similar at her age. Teen years are difficult for many people for all sorts of reasons. I feel certain that once she is free of the zoloft and grows into herself a bit she will be fine. Especially because she has a mother who loves her so much. I think that if you can bolster her health with good nutrition and love that she will be fine and come into her own. You are helping her come through a difficult time of life. Those parents

drugging their kids just can't handle emotional problems with their children, some of which are normal, some of which can be corrected by diet. You are a blessing to her. I didn't have support as a teenager when I was having problems and that led to more problems. I can't imagine she will go down that road, again, simply because she has you. be well and I wish Honey all the best too. Amy wrote: , Thank you so much for your words. Since I joined the list, you have always been such a comfort to me. I don’t think I have let you know how much your words mean to me. It is nice to get supported in this difficult role that I have (caring for a child on adepressants and hoping to come off)… it is a scary role. The people that I used to interact with online (a parenting teens

group) use to be such a great support to me, but I had to let them go since so many of them are using a.d. and have kids on them and couldn’t understand my frustration and our desire to get Honey off of them (often I would hear from that group that Honey needed to be re-evaluated, she probably is bi-polar, probably needs her meds increased etc etc—they just were no longer supportive but critical of our choice for Honey to get back to living her true life and not a Zoloft clouded life). said it earlier—about just needing someone to talk to… someone that knows what it is like and I second the comment. I feel like we can all share this burden and it seems to hurt a bit less. Love to you all Amy Honey’s mom From:

Withdrawal_and_Recovery [mailto:Withdrawal_and_Recovery ] On Behalf Of Sent: Monday, February 12, 2007 2:57 PMTo: Withdrawal_and_Recovery Subject: RE: -- RE: Re: update and interested in input (with response) “Often I don’t think she has the words to help me understand.” Amy, she will have the words in time, she is still young. But she is a smart kid, when she is able she will talk. The experiences people share here will help you to understand what she cannot yet say. She is a lucky young lady to have a Mum who cares as much as you do. With love to you both x

The fish are biting.

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