Re: Is your BPD parent paranoid?

[Guest guest]

My father showed many paranoid behaviors throughout my childhood. The

thing is, he explained them so rationally that I ended up feeling

like the weird one! Our house was always dark, because he kept the

heavy curtains drawn all the time, and even put paper over the tiny

windows in the top of the door, because he said he " didn't want

people looking in the house " . The house was 50 feet back from the

road! He never wanted to go inside anywhere--stores, restaurants, gas

stations--because he thought he " wasn't dressed right " (how dressed

up do you need to be to go in a gas station?) and people would look

at him. I just saw this as normal until I met his mother, who really

was paranoid. She would explain, as if it were perfectly rational,

how she couldn't travel by plane because the security guards were

working with the CIA and trying to frame her by planting drugs on

her. Then my father had a kind of breakdown brought on by dealing

with his abusive mother. From what I've read, having these breaks

with reality and attacks of paranoia when under stress is a symptom

of BPD. He would watch talk shows, then accuse my mother of doing

whatever the guest on the talk show had done (cheating, planning to

leave him, etc).

If you google " BPD and paranoia " you'll find a lot of sites that talk

about this. You're not alone!

>

> Hi everyone.  A few days ago, a family friend who is an MD and has

spent some time around nada told me he thinks she has schizophrenia

(like my brother).  I give his opinion some weight, he is a good

doctor, but he is not a psychiatrist.  I formed my opinion she has

BPD (and also possibly dependent PD and/or paranoid PD) through my

own experiences with therapists.  Of course, they haven't officially

diagnosed her, because she has not been their client.

>

> I was wondering if anyone else has a parent who displays some

paranoia.  My nada has been a little paranoid at least since I was a

teenager, frequently expressing her interest in various conspiracy

theories.  The paranoia went to a more intense level about a year ago

when the state tried to get my brother away from her and living in a

group home.  I viewed it as a reaction to the state's criticism of

her.  It seemed to me that she became completely enraged when the

state " rejected " her as an appropriate caregiver.  Instead of facing

the facts regarding her conduct, she began to focus on various

conspiracy theories  to explain the state's position.  (For example: 

the judge and others are members of Opus Dei; the social workers have

a financial interest in the group home; they want to do experimental 

testing on him without anyone knowing; and, my favorite, my husband

or I called various people and arranged it.) 

>

> I know I am not a doctor, but my mother's problems do not seem

anything like my brother's.  To me, he very clearly suffers from a

brain disease, and her brain seems to work just fine.  Her brain is

constantly plotting and manipulating and his is so befuddled most of

the time he has to be reminded to take a shower. 

>

> Anyway, I didn't intend to write a book on this, I just was a bit

confused by my friend's comments and started to doubt my beliefs.  I

am doubting them less as I write this.  So, I was just wondering if

anyone else has experienced paranoia from their parent and could

share some of their experiences with me.  Thank you, Missy

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh my yes. Some examples: she was convinced that one of my past

boyfriends was going to kidnap me and sell me as a prostitute, she

is deeply suspicious of anyone wealthy as they must have come across

their money dishonestly, every time a car drives by her house she

jumps up and runs to the window saying " Who's that? " and if she

can't figure it out she frets about it for the next five minutes,

and heaven help us if someone hangs up before she reaches the phone

to answer it. When I was in high school, she didn't let me leave

the house by myself for two years as she was convinced I would get

abducted. Argggghhhh....

>

> Hi everyone.  A few days ago, a family friend who is an MD and has

spent some time around nada told me he thinks she has schizophrenia

(like my brother).  I give his opinion some weight, he is a good

doctor, but he is not a psychiatrist.  I formed my opinion she has

BPD (and also possibly dependent PD and/or paranoid PD) through my

own experiences with therapists.  Of course, they haven't officially

diagnosed her, because she has not been their client.

>

> I was wondering if anyone else has a parent who displays some

paranoia.  My nada has been a little paranoid at least since I was a

teenager, frequently expressing her interest in various conspiracy

theories.  The paranoia went to a more intense level about a year

ago when the state tried to get my brother away from her and living

in a group home.  I viewed it as a reaction to the state's criticism

of her.  It seemed to me that she became completely enraged when the

state " rejected " her as an appropriate caregiver.  Instead of facing

the facts regarding her conduct, she began to focus on various

conspiracy theories  to explain the state's position.  (For

example:  the judge and others are members of Opus Dei; the social

workers have a financial interest in the group home; they want to do

experimental  testing on him without anyone knowing; and, my

favorite, my husband or I called various people and arranged it.) 

>

> I know I am not a doctor, but my mother's problems do not seem

anything like my brother's.  To me, he very clearly suffers from a

brain disease, and her brain seems to work just fine.  Her brain is

constantly plotting and manipulating and his is so befuddled most of

the time he has to be reminded to take a shower. 

>

> Anyway, I didn't intend to write a book on this, I just was a bit

confused by my friend's comments and started to doubt my beliefs.  I

am doubting them less as I write this.  So, I was just wondering if

anyone else has experienced paranoia from their parent and could

share some of their experiences with me.  Thank you, Missy

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello Missy,

A social worker who spent about an hour with my nada said she suspected

schizophrenia, too.  But - I still feel my mother has BPD based on what another

social worker said, what my therapist has told me and the reading I have done on

my own.  On the paranoia thing - I've got tons of stories I could tell you. 

Here is one example that used to happen a lot when I was a kid.  My mom spent a

lot of time looking out the window at me when I played with my friends in the

yard.  Let's say something funny happened that made us all laugh or maybe my Dad

came home from work and she saw us talk to each other and laugh.  She would

either rage out of the back door and demand to know what we were saying about

her, or she would sulk until we kept asking her what was wrong.  There are

numerous examples of her taking simple conversations and turning them into

intricate conspiracy theories.  Paranoia was a big part of growing up around her

and it made me a

nervous wreck because I could never anticipate what she would turn into some

wild subterfuge that she felt was directed at her.  In the case of BPD, I see

paranoia as an outgrowth of the narcissm they exhibit.  If everything is about

them, then they assume everyone around them is constantly plotting.  As

usual, the very things they accuse everyone else of are the things they are

doing themselves.  My mother is the most strategically evil person I know.  We

should be the ones who are paranoid.

Tag

Is your BPD parent paranoid?

Hi everyone.  A few days ago, a family friend who is an MD and has spent some

time around nada told me he thinks she has schizophrenia (like my brother).  I

give his opinion some weight, he is a good doctor, but he is not a

psychiatrist.  I formed my opinion she has BPD (and also possibly dependent PD

and/or paranoid PD) through my own experiences with therapists.  Of course, they

haven't officially diagnosed her, because she has not been their client.

I was wondering if anyone else has a parent who displays some paranoia.  My nada

has been a little paranoid at least since I was a teenager, frequently

expressing her interest in various conspiracy theories..  The paranoia went to a

more intense level about a year ago when the state tried to get my brother away

from her and living in a group home.  I viewed it as a reaction to the state's

criticism of her.  It seemed to me that she became completely enraged when the

state " rejected " her as an appropriate caregiver.  Instead of facing the facts

regarding her conduct, she began to focus on various conspiracy theories  to

explain the state's position.  (For example:  the judge and others are members

of Opus Dei; the social workers have a financial interest in the group home;

they want to do experimental  testing on him without anyone knowing; and, my

favorite, my husband or I called various people and arranged it.) 

I know I am not a doctor, but my mother's problems do not seem anything like my

brother's.  To me, he very clearly suffers from a brain disease, and her brain

seems to work just fine.  Her brain is constantly plotting and manipulating and

his is so befuddled most of the time he has to be reminded to take a shower. 

Anyway, I didn't intend to write a book on this, I just was a bit confused by my

friend's comments and started to doubt my beliefs.  I am doubting them less as I

write this.  So, I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced paranoia

from their parent and could share some of their experiences with me.  Thank you,

Missy

[Guest guest]

major paranoia. i don't know if it's because of all her drug use or

not. she had loyalty tests, she assumes everyone is out to get her,

she makes stories up in her head where she's the victim. it's

bonkers.

now i have major issues with paranoia, but it's more in a completely

bizarre and outlandish kind of way. example: today i said to my

friend, wanna hear the bizarre paranoid ideation of the week? he's

like sure. i'm like, " okay. i have this irrational fear that a

doppleganger of me will show up and drug me and lock me in either a

basement or an attic. "

WTF?!?!?! i know there's no possible way that could EVER happen, but

i still made my husband walk me to the bathroom last night. GAH! it

is SO strange.

when i feel paranoid about other people not liking me, it usually

turns out to be true, confirmed independently by other people.

bink

>

> Hi everyone.  A few days ago, a family friend who is an MD and has

spent some time around nada told me he thinks she has schizophrenia

(like my brother).  I give his opinion some weight, he is a good

doctor, but he is not a psychiatrist.  I formed my opinion she has

BPD (and also possibly dependent PD and/or paranoid PD) through my

own experiences with therapists.  Of course, they haven't officially

diagnosed her, because she has not been their client.

>

> I was wondering if anyone else has a parent who displays some

paranoia.  My nada has been a little paranoid at least since I was a

teenager, frequently expressing her interest in various conspiracy

theories.  The paranoia went to a more intense level about a year ago

when the state tried to get my brother away from her and living in a

group home.  I viewed it as a reaction to the state's criticism of

her.  It seemed to me that she became completely enraged when the

state " rejected " her as an appropriate caregiver.  Instead of facing

the facts regarding her conduct, she began to focus on various

conspiracy theories  to explain the state's position.  (For example: 

the judge and others are members of Opus Dei; the social workers have

a financial interest in the group home; they want to do experimental 

testing on him without anyone knowing; and, my favorite, my husband

or I called various people and arranged it.) 

>

> I know I am not a doctor, but my mother's problems do not seem

anything like my brother's.  To me, he very clearly suffers from a

brain disease, and her brain seems to work just fine.  Her brain is

constantly plotting and manipulating and his is so befuddled most of

the time he has to be reminded to take a shower. 

>

> Anyway, I didn't intend to write a book on this, I just was a bit

confused by my friend's comments and started to doubt my beliefs.  I

am doubting them less as I write this.  So, I was just wondering if

anyone else has experienced paranoia from their parent and could

share some of their experiences with me.  Thank you, Missy

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

oh yeah i forgot about the paranoia regarding abductions and

molestation.

sigh...good times...

bink

> >

> > Hi everyone.  A few days ago, a family friend who is an MD and

has

> spent some time around nada told me he thinks she has schizophrenia

> (like my brother).  I give his opinion some weight, he is a good

> doctor, but he is not a psychiatrist.  I formed my opinion she has

> BPD (and also possibly dependent PD and/or paranoid PD) through my

> own experiences with therapists.  Of course, they haven't

officially

> diagnosed her, because she has not been their client.

> >

> > I was wondering if anyone else has a parent who displays some

> paranoia.  My nada has been a little paranoid at least since I was

a

> teenager, frequently expressing her interest in various conspiracy

> theories.  The paranoia went to a more intense level about a year

> ago when the state tried to get my brother away from her and living

> in a group home.  I viewed it as a reaction to the state's

criticism

> of her.  It seemed to me that she became completely enraged when

the

> state " rejected " her as an appropriate caregiver.  Instead of

facing

> the facts regarding her conduct, she began to focus on various

> conspiracy theories  to explain the state's position.  (For

> example:  the judge and others are members of Opus Dei; the social

> workers have a financial interest in the group home; they want to

do

> experimental  testing on him without anyone knowing; and, my

> favorite, my husband or I called various people and arranged it.) 

> >

> > I know I am not a doctor, but my mother's problems do not seem

> anything like my brother's.  To me, he very clearly suffers from a

> brain disease, and her brain seems to work just fine.  Her brain is

> constantly plotting and manipulating and his is so befuddled most

of

> the time he has to be reminded to take a shower. 

> >

> > Anyway, I didn't intend to write a book on this, I just was a bit

> confused by my friend's comments and started to doubt my beliefs. 

I

> am doubting them less as I write this.  So, I was just wondering if

> anyone else has experienced paranoia from their parent and could

> share some of their experiences with me.  Thank you, Missy

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

tangent. not sure if anybody is going to be able to relate to this.

both of my parents are hippies and believe in esp and ghosts

(inconsistently of course), so when your dad is telling you that he

hears a voice every time he walks into a closet, you, as a rational 7

year old, have to think, " well, wtf? " my mom cultivated this

atmosphere of bizarreness, held sayances with friends, and her

general paranoia and enthusiasm for esoteric mysticism really could

freak a kid out. especially if this kid is already being told that

what she remembers never happened, she is always wrong, and she is a

horrible and selfish person.

i remember actually looking down the hall of the house where my

dad " heard ghosts " (my mom reported an angry woman's voice, my dad

reported a baby girl's voice) and SEEING with my OWN EYES a monster

down the hall. wow that was scary. i was about 7. i don't know if

it is residual drug absorbsion in utero or if i was temporarily

schizophrenic or WHAT, but it was scary (i've never done drugs except

for the time my mom made me smoke pot...which i'm horribly allergic

to). now a large part of my paranoia is the fear that the things i

see in my head i will actually see in real life. btw, it wasn't just

me that was freaked out by that house. there was the " black

bathroom " that my little sister refused to go into by herself, which

was coincidentally the same place i " saw " the monster.

NOW I DON'T BELIEVE IN MONSTERS! and i don't believe in ghosts. i

don't believe in an afterlife, and above all else, i don't believe my

parents when they tell me they're hearing voices! i think that since

i had no way of dealing with a lot of the terror i was facing in real

life, my brain switched over to these make-believe things that i

could be terrified of, and i'm basically stuck in 7 yr old mode when

it comes to dealing with fear...well, everything other than fear of

failure. i think i can handle that one pretty well. i just feel

developmentally stuck. i still make up rules about jumping at least

3 feet away from the bed so hands can't grab me, which body parts a

monster can " see " when i'm under a cover, etc. it's little kid

magical thinking. it's a weird combination of having control over

stuff and not having any control over stuff.

sometimes i am afraid my husband has been replaced with either a

homicidal android or a homicidal alien that will kill me in my

sleep. this is not logical and i know that! i know it's not real at

all, but i still worry about it. i just feel STUCK in this kind of

thinking. why can't i stop being paranoid about things i KNOW are

not real?

GAH! DRUGS ARE BAD FOR YOU!

bink

>> Hi

everyone. A few days ago, a family friend who is an MD and has spent

some time around nada told me he thinks she has schizophrenia (like

my brother). I give his opinion some weight, he is a good doctor,

but he is not a psychiatrist. I formed my opinion she has BPD (and

also possibly dependent PD and/or paranoid PD) through my own

experiences with therapists. Of course, they haven't officially

diagnosed her, because she has not been their client.> > I was

wondering if anyone else has a parent who displays some paranoia. My

nada has been a little paranoid at least since I was a teenager,

frequently expressing her interest in various conspiracy theories.

The paranoia went to a more intense level about a year ago when the

state tried to get my brother away from her and living in a group

home. I viewed it as a reaction to the state's criticism of her. It

seemed to me that she became completely enraged when the

state " rejected " her as an appropriate caregiver. Instead of facing

the facts regarding her conduct, she began to focus on various

conspiracy theories to explain the state's position. (For example:

the judge and others are members of Opus Dei; the social workers have

a financial interest in the group home; they want to do experimental

testing on him without anyone knowing; and, my favorite, my husband

or I called various people and arranged it.) > > I know I am not a

doctor, but my mother's problems do not seem anything like my

brother's. To me, he very clearly suffers from a brain disease, and

her brain seems to work just fine. Her brain is constantly plotting

and manipulating and his is so befuddled most of the time he has to

be reminded to take a shower. > > Anyway, I didn't intend to write a

book on this, I just was a bit confused by my friend's comments and

started to doubt my beliefs. I am doubting them less as I write

this. So, I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced

paranoia from their parent and could share some of their experiences

with me. Thank you, Missy> > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this

message have been removed]>

>

>

>

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Oddly enough, I live in land...and as far as the paranoia, omg...my nada

is the worst....everything is a conspiracy theory.

> Hi everyone. A few days ago, a family friend who is an MD and has spent

> some time around nada told me he thinks she has schizophrenia (like my

> brother). I give his opinion some weight, he is a good doctor, but he is

> not a psychiatrist. I formed my opinion she has BPD (and also possibly

> dependent PD and/or paranoid PD) through my own experiences with

> therapists. Of course, they haven't officially diagnosed her, because she

> has not been their client.

>

> I was wondering if anyone else has a parent who displays some paranoia. My

> nada has been a little paranoid at least since I was a teenager, frequently

> expressing her interest in various conspiracy theories. The paranoia went

> to a more intense level about a year ago when the state tried to get my

> brother away from her and living in a group home. I viewed it as a reaction

> to the state's criticism of her. It seemed to me that she became completely

> enraged when the state " rejected " her as an appropriate caregiver. Instead

> of facing the facts regarding her conduct, she began to focus on various

> conspiracy theories to explain the state's position. (For example: the

> judge and others are members of Opus Dei; the social workers have a

> financial interest in the group home; they want to do experimental testing

> on him without anyone knowing; and, my favorite, my husband or I called

> various people and arranged it.)

>

> I know I am not a doctor, but my mother's problems do not seem anything

> like my brother's. To me, he very clearly suffers from a brain disease, and

> her brain seems to work just fine. Her brain is constantly plotting and

> manipulating and his is so befuddled most of the time he has to be reminded

> to take a shower.

>

> Anyway, I didn't intend to write a book on this, I just was a bit confused

> by my friend's comments and started to doubt my beliefs. I am doubting them

> less as I write this. So, I was just wondering if anyone else has

> experienced paranoia from their parent and could share some of their

> experiences with me. Thank you, Missy

>

>

[Guest guest]

My nada has this bad, although it doesn't come across at first.

She grew up in NYC, but since then only lives way out in the boonies.

my whole life we had 20+ acres of land and 30+ mins to school, work,

etc. she lives an hour from me now. this is mainly cuz she is scared

of people. she also has a big dog to scare people away. and is scared

to stay there alone w/ out my dad.

she's TERRIFIED of cars. she is best when my dad drives and she

crochets to distract herself. she can drive if it's somewhere she

really wants to go (she panics and gives up trying to find my house

but she can find a river to go rafting 100 miles away in the middle of

nowhere), or she's been before often enough. usually my dad takes her

everywhere that isn't close by.

she was convinced my brother did not know she smoked pot (he did), and

that if he did know, he would TURN HER IN! i tell her he's always

known and that he doesn't care, but it doesn't matter what i say.

she thinks my current bf of 2 years is a pedophile.

when i was a teenager, if i was home like 5 mins late she was sure i

was abducted or dead in a ditch. the best thing this got me was a

better car cuz she was so worried about me being abducted on my way

home from school if my car broke down... (she wouldn't of let me even

drive or have a license, but my dad somehow convinced)

i don't think my nada helps her abduction/rape/murder paranoia by

reading serial killer true crime novels, either.

> > >

> > > Hi everyone.  A few days ago, a family friend who is an MD and

> has

> > spent some time around nada told me he thinks she has schizophrenia

> > (like my brother).  I give his opinion some weight, he is a good

> > doctor, but he is not a psychiatrist.  I formed my opinion she has

> > BPD (and also possibly dependent PD and/or paranoid PD) through my

> > own experiences with therapists.  Of course, they haven't

> officially

> > diagnosed her, because she has not been their client.

> > >

> > > I was wondering if anyone else has a parent who displays some

> > paranoia.  My nada has been a little paranoid at least since I was

> a

> > teenager, frequently expressing her interest in various conspiracy

> > theories.  The paranoia went to a more intense level about a year

> > ago when the state tried to get my brother away from her and living

> > in a group home.  I viewed it as a reaction to the state's

> criticism

> > of her.  It seemed to me that she became completely enraged when

> the

> > state " rejected " her as an appropriate caregiver.  Instead of

> facing

> > the facts regarding her conduct, she began to focus on various

> > conspiracy theories  to explain the state's position.  (For

> > example:  the judge and others are members of Opus Dei; the social

> > workers have a financial interest in the group home; they want to

> do

> > experimental  testing on him without anyone knowing; and, my

> > favorite, my husband or I called various people and arranged it.) 

> > >

> > > I know I am not a doctor, but my mother's problems do not seem

> > anything like my brother's.  To me, he very clearly suffers from a

> > brain disease, and her brain seems to work just fine.  Her brain is

> > constantly plotting and manipulating and his is so befuddled most

> of

> > the time he has to be reminded to take a shower. 

> > >

> > > Anyway, I didn't intend to write a book on this, I just was a bit

> > confused by my friend's comments and started to doubt my beliefs. 

> I

> > am doubting them less as I write this.  So, I was just wondering if

> > anyone else has experienced paranoia from their parent and could

> > share some of their experiences with me.  Thank you, Missy

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Missy,

My mom has exhibited paranoia. When she was younger, it was more like

people are bad as a whole, and the world is a bad place, but within the

last 5 years or so she has started to believe that others are against

her and talking behind her back. I remember when we moved her into her

last apartment and hung up some pictures, she claimed that residents had

complained to the super about the noise. I checked it out and there was

absolutely no truth to this claim at all. She didn't believe me;

obviously I was in on " it " . When she was in the psych hospital last

summer she was sure that the staff were doing things to mess with her

mind, like ignoring her at the buzzer to go in and out(even though the

last time I saw that the nurse at the desk was on the phone and simply

couldn't let her out immediately). When she was in the hospital a

couple of years ago she was sure the nurse was laughing at her in the

hall when she was trying to get her attention so she could get help to

go to the washroom. Since last year though, it's reached a whole new

level. My mom lived through WW2, so it's not surprising that she sees

Nazi and KGB conspiracies among others. She claimed that the hospital

was using her for secret bacteriological studies and she was part of a

play in which they were testing her to see how she would react and how

far they could push her before she went over thr edge. She thought all

of the doctors and nurses were in on it, and actually attacked a nurse

with a shower nozzle because of this. She regularly has delusions and

sees and hears people that aren't there. The paranoia I believe is a

response to the stress of major life changes. You cannot convince her

that these things are untrue. Today she had the nursing home in a

uproar because the doctor was out to get her. Thank heavens I don't

have to worry about the fallout anymore. I just hope they can't kick

her out of the home. I'll go into the nada witness protection program!

Imbi

>

> > Hi everyone. A few days ago, a family friend who is an MD and has

spent

> > some time around nada told me he thinks she has schizophrenia (like

my

> > brother). I give his opinion some weight, he is a good doctor, but

he is

> > not a psychiatrist. I formed my opinion she has BPD (and also

possibly

> > dependent PD and/or paranoid PD) through my own experiences with

> > therapists. Of course, they haven't officially diagnosed her,

because she

> > has not been their client.

> >

> > I was wondering if anyone else has a parent who displays some

paranoia. My

> > nada has been a little paranoid at least since I was a teenager,

frequently

> > expressing her interest in various conspiracy theories. The paranoia

went

> > to a more intense level about a year ago when the state tried to get

my

> > brother away from her and living in a group home. I viewed it as a

reaction

> > to the state's criticism of her. It seemed to me that she became

completely

> > enraged when the state " rejected " her as an appropriate caregiver.

Instead

> > of facing the facts regarding her conduct, she began to focus on

various

> > conspiracy theories to explain the state's position. (For example:

the

> > judge and others are members of Opus Dei; the social workers have a

> > financial interest in the group home; they want to do experimental

testing

> > on him without anyone knowing; and, my favorite, my husband or I

called

> > various people and arranged it.)

> >

> > I know I am not a doctor, but my mother's problems do not seem

anything

> > like my brother's. To me, he very clearly suffers from a brain

disease, and

> > her brain seems to work just fine. Her brain is constantly plotting

and

> > manipulating and his is so befuddled most of the time he has to be

reminded

> > to take a shower.

> >

> > Anyway, I didn't intend to write a book on this, I just was a bit

confused

> > by my friend's comments and started to doubt my beliefs. I am

doubting them

> > less as I write this. So, I was just wondering if anyone else has

> > experienced paranoia from their parent and could share some of their

> > experiences with me. Thank you, Missy

> >

> >