Re: weird feeling about getting in shape

[Guest guest]

>hi there]

Umm interesting....

Ive always had weight issues well on and off.....

My thinking goes that if i am overweight i can hide in it and i dont

have to try too hard---- and if im slim (which i havent been for a

good while now) then i would be glamourous and look too good which

would draw attention to myself and id have to 'try - try to be

something that im not-----id be exposed and vunerable and i already

feel those things so there is no way i have room to feel them further

i guess when i look at this objectively its about low self esteem and

protection

I have spent extreme amounts of time being very upset about my weight

(im about 2 stone over and have in the main yo yod gaining and

losing. Ive now come to some realisation that ok i have this issue

and i try not to get too upset try to not think black and white and

try and support myself a bit more with it---- after all weight is the

end product of feelings.....

Well done on you finding your motivation and losing some weight that

is really great... i reakon that if anyone says anything even

remotely negative about your weight loss you should treat that as

their issue- people should be nothing but kind and supportive towards

you. Shedding weight i believe is about shedding negativity what ever

form that took in the first place-- showing who you really are to the

world and being at the right time to be strong and to do it is

wonderful..... let us know how you get on--

Emma x

> i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been

officially

> exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for

transportation

> on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a day, which

is

> downright sensible when you take into account the fact that my diet

is

> mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird because

i've

> got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me from doing

this

> before?

>

> i have been investigating this question and when i tell people how

much

> i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on me. i

find

> myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it back. " why

am

> i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the athlete in

my

> youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i am

paranoid

> about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far). has anyone

else

> had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me that i

feel

> almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

>

> bink

>

[Guest guest]

It occured to me just this morning that much of my " overweight "

problems are me hiding from others. I have been so emotionally

abused by people who are supposed to be in my inner circle, that I

hide myself not wanting to attract attention. I think the message

I've been throwing out is " LEAVE ME ALONE! "

I was thinking about this because I had read where people will gain

weight and not dress nice...to act needy. But, then it occured to

me " No " I don't want attention. I want these nuts to get lost! I

want these borderline, narcissitic idiots out of my world! " I'd

rather do this, so that the somatic narcs avoid me and the

borderlines are embarrassed by me. Because, I don't want them

attracted to me.

Really, I've found that the more down to earth people are less

likely to judge people based soley on appearance. I find that the

few people that I interact with are kinder, more normal people and

they sometimes seek me out. Despite that I'm a little heavier right

now.

I can't stand the constant parade of " you must wear this " , you must

shop here, you must have every toenail in place and polished or you

are a worthless piece of crap. I disagree. Some of the better people

I have known are not caught up in the parade of superficial clowns.

In fact, they will tell you that they choose to live simply.

That is where I want to be. With normal people, who genuinely care

about one another and live simply.

Maybe, I've taken it to an extreme the other way. Maybe, I need to

be a little more concerned about how I look. I doubt it.

> >

> > i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been

> officially

> > exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for

> transportation

> > on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a day,

which

> is

> > downright sensible when you take into account the fact that my

diet

> is

> > mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird because

> i've

> > got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me from doing

> this

> > before?

> >

> > i have been investigating this question and when i tell people

how

> much

> > i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on me. i

> find

> > myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it back. "

why

> am

> > i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the athlete in

> my

> > youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i am

> paranoid

> > about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far). has anyone

> else

> > had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me that i

> feel

> > almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

> >

> > bink

> >

>

[Guest guest]

You brought up some points I had not considered before. I have just been able to

acknowledge that I am fat. Always before I would not see it. I am so screwed up

about my weight. I try to cut back and don't lose a thing. I exercise and

actually gain weight. I have also been diagnosed with a metabolic problem which

means that ordinary diets will not work for me, it has to be high protein and

very few carbs. But I think I hang on to my weight because what I eat is my last

source of comfort. But even that doesn't work for me anymore. All I can to is

exercise more and eat less and keep doing that. Tonight I went to Sonic to pick

up some food for my son. I almost got a hamburger but was able to pass it up. I

am pretty proud of that, I had barley and mushrooms instead. He gets a kids

meal, because I am watching his weight as well. I think I'll take him to the

pool and let him swim for a couple of hours. Little by little we all make

changes stick.

Be strong

Re: weird feeling about getting in shape

It occured to me just this morning that much of my " overweight "

problems are me hiding from others. I have been so emotionally

abused by people who are supposed to be in my inner circle, that I

hide myself not wanting to attract attention. I think the message

I've been throwing out is " LEAVE ME ALONE! "

I was thinking about this because I had read where people will gain

weight and not dress nice...to act needy. But, then it occured to

me " No " I don't want attention. I want these nuts to get lost! I

want these borderline, narcissitic idiots out of my world! " I'd

rather do this, so that the somatic narcs avoid me and the

borderlines are embarrassed by me. Because, I don't want them

attracted to me.

Really, I've found that the more down to earth people are less

likely to judge people based soley on appearance. I find that the

few people that I interact with are kinder, more normal people and

they sometimes seek me out. Despite that I'm a little heavier right

now.

I can't stand the constant parade of " you must wear this " , you must

shop here, you must have every toenail in place and polished or you

are a worthless piece of crap. I disagree. Some of the better people

I have known are not caught up in the parade of superficial clowns.

In fact, they will tell you that they choose to live simply.

That is where I want to be. With normal people, who genuinely care

about one another and live simply.

Maybe, I've taken it to an extreme the other way. Maybe, I need to

be a little more concerned about how I look. I doubt it.

> >

> > i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been

> officially

> > exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for

> transportation

> > on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a day,

which

> is

> > downright sensible when you take into account the fact that my

diet

> is

> > mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird because

> i've

> > got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me from doing

> this

> > before?

> >

> > i have been investigating this question and when i tell people

how

> much

> > i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on me. i

> find

> > myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it back. "

why

> am

> > i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the athlete in

> my

> > youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i am

> paranoid

> > about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far). has anyone

> else

> > had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me that i

> feel

> > almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

> >

> > bink

> >

>

[Guest guest]

weight is a hard topic and even harder after having a mother with bpd. My

body was WAAAAAY to big of a topic of conversation when I was a kid, and

made me feel like an object and not a person. Knowing what I know now, I

realize that Nada saw me as an object and possession, not as a person, and

so if I was too pretty and it took attention away from her, it was very bad

for me. Also, I think that if I was sick, overweight or otherwise suffering,

it was good for her because via that she got more attention from doctors and

concerned, teachers, doctors etc. Not that she took their advice. For her it

paid for me to be unhealthy and unhappy.

I was an obese child, no surprise considering my mother's lifestyle. I think

that has made it harder for me to maintain my weight and has definitly

confused my body image and ability to understand my body's messages. Also,

I've been a pretty serious athlete since college, but I don't run and I

don't play sports - its all either individual stuff, dance or yoga. I'm a

very muscular person and put on muscle weight quickly, which makes me

further confused about what I should weigh. I now measure my hips and waist

daily instead of weighing myself. I thought this would help me avoid the

scale obsession that I tend to get, but honestly it's not too much better.

To further complicate matters, when I lived with my parents I had some

serious anorexia issues - one of the only things I could control, right. The

least I have ever weighed since about 4th grade was 115 in 9th grade, and on

my 5'7 inch muscular self, that was serious enough that I had to go to my

pediatrician's office after school regularly (walking of course, nada

couldn't get out of bed to take me) to be weighed and also report to my dad

daily on what I had eaten after school on the phone. Anyway, the anorectic

habits are incredibly easy for me to fall back into, and it can actually

become pleasant for me to feel hungry and faint. It gives me a sense of self

control and power.

I'm trying to drop the 60 lbs I've gained on my meds. Somehow I was able to

maintain a healthy body weight for nearly 15 years of my life, so I'm hoping

and praying I can get back to that. I'm 32 now. It's scary for me to diet,

and I feel the urge to work out nonstop and control my calories at a

superhuman level tempting me. Esp now that I'm off my meds. I guess I don't

have any quick fixes. I work out between 1/2 hour and 2 hours a day

normally, and right now I'm doing a minimum of an hour and a half daily,

with calories of 1100 to 1600. I'm so so tempted to go down to 300 to 600

calories, but I'm trying to not backslide. I've lost 2 inches and I know

I've done so quickly, but it is very very hard for me to be this big w/o

self destructing. I've also come close to fainting a couple times. scary.

Well, I can talk to my doctor on Monday and have an appt on Tuesday. Wish me

luck guys.

OH, what I meant to say is that honestly, weight doesn't really make a

difference in how I feel inside. I feel I get the same amount of attention.

I feel like it's the difference between the small box of tide (laundry

detergent) and the big box of tide - it's still Tide inside. So, if you are

heavier than you want to be, your just a bigger package. " Another way I put

it is, a bitch minus 50 lbs is still a bitch. " Still, it's not healthy for

me to weigh this much and it's not helping me athletically!

> You brought up some points I had not considered before. I have just been

> able to acknowledge that I am fat. Always before I would not see it. I am so

> screwed up about my weight. I try to cut back and don't lose a thing. I

> exercise and actually gain weight. I have also been diagnosed with a

> metabolic problem which means that ordinary diets will not work for me, it

> has to be high protein and very few carbs. But I think I hang on to my

> weight because what I eat is my last source of comfort. But even that

> doesn't work for me anymore. All I can to is exercise more and eat less and

> keep doing that. Tonight I went to Sonic to pick up some food for my son. I

> almost got a hamburger but was able to pass it up. I am pretty proud of

> that, I had barley and mushrooms instead. He gets a kids meal, because I am

> watching his weight as well. I think I'll take him to the pool and let him

> swim for a couple of hours. Little by little we all make changes stick.

> Be strong

>

>

>

> Re: weird feeling about getting in shape

>

>

> It occured to me just this morning that much of my " overweight "

> problems are me hiding from others. I have been so emotionally

> abused by people who are supposed to be in my inner circle, that I

> hide myself not wanting to attract attention. I think the message

> I've been throwing out is " LEAVE ME ALONE! "

>

> I was thinking about this because I had read where people will gain

> weight and not dress nice...to act needy. But, then it occured to

> me " No " I don't want attention. I want these nuts to get lost! I

> want these borderline, narcissitic idiots out of my world! " I'd

> rather do this, so that the somatic narcs avoid me and the

> borderlines are embarrassed by me. Because, I don't want them

> attracted to me.

>

> Really, I've found that the more down to earth people are less

> likely to judge people based soley on appearance. I find that the

> few people that I interact with are kinder, more normal people and

> they sometimes seek me out. Despite that I'm a little heavier right

> now.

>

> I can't stand the constant parade of " you must wear this " , you must

> shop here, you must have every toenail in place and polished or you

> are a worthless piece of crap. I disagree. Some of the better people

> I have known are not caught up in the parade of superficial clowns.

>

> In fact, they will tell you that they choose to live simply.

>

> That is where I want to be. With normal people, who genuinely care

> about one another and live simply.

>

> Maybe, I've taken it to an extreme the other way. Maybe, I need to

> be a little more concerned about how I look. I doubt it.

>

>

> > >

> > > i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been

> > officially

> > > exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for

> > transportation

> > > on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a day,

> which

> > is

> > > downright sensible when you take into account the fact that my

> diet

> > is

> > > mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird because

> > i've

> > > got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me from doing

> > this

> > > before?

> > >

> > > i have been investigating this question and when i tell people

> how

> > much

> > > i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on me. i

> > find

> > > myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it back. "

> why

> > am

> > > i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the athlete in

> > my

> > > youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i am

> > paranoid

> > > about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far). has anyone

> > else

> > > had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me that i

> > feel

> > > almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

> > >

> > > bink

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

thanks for responding guys. it is kind of a weird topic. i grew up

with a mom who was obviously a fox, but talked about how fat she was

(seriously, she looked like uma thurman. i'm not even kidding.) i

think that identifying with guys has definitely left me with a much

better opinion of my body. in fact, i also can put on a lot of muscle

in an incredibly short amount of time. (used to train with my

husband, he was always impressed with my gains...but then again, he's

a hard gainer...)

it's kind of like this: i think i'm just now getting brave enough to

get in shape and not let what my mom might think control my decision

to get in shape. i'm just so paranoid that this will be interpreted

as some sort of insult or personal affront to her. what will probably

happen will be that she'll see i'm getting in shape for real this time

and it will remind her that she's about 100 lbs overweight and she

will either get super competitive and lose weight (that would actually

be a good thing), or get her feelings hurt. i can't tell which way it

will go.

i'm 5'7 and the heaviest i've ever been was 180, but even then i

didn't feel fat. i just felt like i was on hiatus or something.

also, my boobs looked awesome, so that might have been a mitigating

factor... generally left to its own devices (ie no exercise, but

not really overeating either), my body will naturally hover around

145. that's not bad, but i can grab two handfuls of fat off both

sides of my thighs at the SAME time WHILE FLEXING my quads. it would

be good to lose weight. it would be healthy to lose weight. it would

make me feel better to lose weight. but it's like i have it in my

head that losing weight is somehow bad. why do i think this? it's

not a bad thing! i'm not betraying anyone! it's so weird.

i have always dressed in a kind of boyish way. if i had my dream

wardrobe, it would be modeled after ellen degeneres'. just cute and

comfortably tomboyish. i would like to be able to wear shorts,

though. i don't wear shorts, and i live in texas, and wearing jeans

and riding bikes all over town in the summer sucks. i just feel

soooooo uncomfortable in shorts when i'm around people, though, on

account of my TROLL LEGS. GAH! i would like to wear some cute girl

clothes, too, without feeling like the only thing people are looking

at is my knee fat. this is like the one thing that my mom really

focused on. she said shit like, " when i was pregnant, i prayed that

my children wouldn't have legs like your father. he has TROLL LEGS! "

well guess what. I HAVE MY DAD'S LEGS! GAH!!!

::bangs head on desk::

it's a big enough deal that if losing weight doesn't work (like

getting down to 10-14% body fat) and at that weight my knees are still

fat, i will be getting cosmetic surgery on them. definitely a quality

of life issue. i truly believe that it is not a bizarre type of fat

that is completely resistant to exercise. i have also read that thigh

fat doesn't start to go away until you get lower than 18%.

ugh. frustrating.

bink

>

> i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been officially

> exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for transportation

> on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a day, which is

> downright sensible when you take into account the fact that my diet is

> mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird because i've

> got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me from doing this

> before?

>

> i have been investigating this question and when i tell people how much

> i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on me. i find

> myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it back. " why am

> i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the athlete in my

> youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i am paranoid

> about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far). has anyone else

> had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me that i feel

> almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

>

> bink

>

[Guest guest]

I learned alot from my physician who is both regular doctor and

natural doctor. He said that in the 70's he successfully helped

thousands of people lose weight who had a problem with their

hypothalmus glands. Chemicals such as corn syrup in our diets are

causing damage to our functioning of our glands. Then, the weight

loss powers that be came down really hard on him and threatened his

license. This again, is just a proof that weight loss is just a

money making industry. This weight loss plan has suddenly become in

the spot light again because of Trudeaus book The Weight Loss

Cure. He sais though that the original medical science is still

available in a book called pounds and inches by Dr Simeons who first

discovered the gland problem. This is something I am going to do.

My doctor is now offering it again in his office. They give you

stuff called HCG to strengthen your glands as well as prompt weight

loss. Be sure, if you try it, to get a reputable clinic. Because

it has to be done just so. The HCG must be freshly made and only

lasts so long. Or, it won't work.

Note* If you buy Trudeaus book. Never buy it from his online

site or call his sells number. He's very dishonest and from what I

understand continues to bill your debit card monthly for some stupid

natural newsletter that he mails out. And the only way to stop him is

to change your account number.

> > >

> > > i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been

> > officially

> > > exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for

> > transportation

> > > on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a day,

> which

> > is

> > > downright sensible when you take into account the fact that my

> diet

> > is

> > > mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird because

> > i've

> > > got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me from

doing

> > this

> > > before?

> > >

> > > i have been investigating this question and when i tell people

> how

> > much

> > > i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on me. i

> > find

> > > myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it back. "

> why

> > am

> > > i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the athlete in

> > my

> > > youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i am

> > paranoid

> > > about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far). has

anyone

> > else

> > > had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me that i

> > feel

> > > almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

> > >

> > > bink

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

you know, i wouldn't be surprised if corn syrup is very harmful to

humans. i wish i could say that i try to cut it out of my diet for

this reason, but it's not.

i love junk food, and i have very refined tastes while eating

crap i can TASTE the difference between sugar and corn syrup.

bink

> > > >

> > > > i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been

> > > officially

> > > > exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for

> > > transportation

> > > > on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a day,

> > which

> > > is

> > > > downright sensible when you take into account the fact that

my

> > diet

> > > is

> > > > mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird

because

> > > i've

> > > > got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me from

> doing

> > > this

> > > > before?

> > > >

> > > > i have been investigating this question and when i tell

people

> > how

> > > much

> > > > i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on me.

i

> > > find

> > > > myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it

back. "

> > why

> > > am

> > > > i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the athlete

in

> > > my

> > > > youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i am

> > > paranoid

> > > > about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far). has

> anyone

> > > else

> > > > had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me that

i

> > > feel

> > > > almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

> > > >

> > > > bink

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hey Bink, I always relate to you so much - you teach, you like to move, you

like math you are a tomboy, and it sounds like we have almost identical body

types, though I'm a little bit heavier at my low weight, 145 is very very

thin for me and I can fit into a size 6 at that weight in my hips, though my

shoulders are always too broad for " dainty " sized clothing. . Even the boobs

- the only advantage of putting on a few pounds is the boobage. I have a

very short torso, extreme curves (small high waist and enormous booty) and

legs/arms long enough for a 6 foot man. My feet and hands, while feminine

looking are also extra large. My body type is the style that was in style

in the 50s, sort of Maralyn Monroe style, and the polar opposite of

twiggy.You know, poodle skirts and such. I am unusually muscular looking in

my upper body and I have broad shoulders and a broad back. My back is my

favorite part of my body, I have good muscle definition but also very

curvy/girly pinched waist, although it is right under my lungs unlike most

people. I always lose/gain in my hips and boobs - and I guess that could be

worse right? I also have certain parts of my body that were targetted by my

parents for teasing, especially my feet. I was teased so much about my feet

as a child that I wouldn't wear open-toed shoes or sandals until I was

nearly 30 and now I " m obsessed with my pedicure. Also I was constantly

called " fat " and big-boned. I mean, I am big boned but not HUGE boned, I'm

just a muscular person. I also got teased almost constantly about my nose,

because my profile is very Greek looking, but I actually like that feature

because it comes from my grandpa.

I'd also get some work done if I could afford it. I think you should wear

shorts now and not worry about it - but if you would feel better, really, do

it. I really like my face, I have strong but feminine features but I

wouldn't mind having my double chin removed. And of course I want to have my

" muffin top " removed. I can wear shorts but I can't wear jeans. The only

jeans that have EVER fit me are the wide leg, short waisted variety and even

those are painful because of my big butt and hips. If I can keep them up,

then they are sure to cut into my hip rolls. I " m jealous of you on that! If

I do find a straight-legged pair of jeans that are roomy enough in my hips,

then they end up sliding down to show the world my " whale tail " in the back.

Ha ha, you can see why I wear either workout or drawstring pants, full

skirts and low cut tank tops and short dresses pretty much exclusively. Hard

to dress tomboy when you have a butt the size of China.I also love Ellen

Degenerus and her clothes, my favorite is the sneakers. I LOVE her shoes.

And I love it that she stays true to herself and her style.

Hugs to you and let me know if you want to talk about workouts. Are you into

Yoga or Pilates? I have about 50 workout videos in those 2 flavors and I can

tell you what is good. Also let me know if you want to talk about lifting -

I used to lift 3 or 4 times a week but now I do yoga because I lost the gym

membership. I'm also very into flexibility, which helps me manage the

fibromyalgia and migraines. If I had a superpower, it would be flexibility.

I can do the full splits and put my head on the floor on both legs and

straddle splits with head on floor. And if you know the yoga move " pigeon " I

can do " king pigeon " without trying. Because of the loose muscles and

joints, I can always beat guys at both mercy fights and thumb wars! Ha ha

On Sun, Jul 13, 2008 at 10:02 AM, bink1227

wrote:

> you know, i wouldn't be surprised if corn syrup is very harmful to

> humans. i wish i could say that i try to cut it out of my diet for

> this reason, but it's not.

>

> i love junk food, and i have very refined tastes while eating

> crap i can TASTE the difference between sugar and corn syrup.

>

> bink

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > > i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been

> > > > officially

> > > > > exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for

> > > > transportation

> > > > > on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a day,

> > > which

> > > > is

> > > > > downright sensible when you take into account the fact that

> my

> > > diet

> > > > is

> > > > > mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird

> because

> > > > i've

> > > > > got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me from

> > doing

> > > > this

> > > > > before?

> > > > >

> > > > > i have been investigating this question and when i tell

> people

> > > how

> > > > much

> > > > > i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on me.

> i

> > > > find

> > > > > myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it

> back. "

> > > why

> > > > am

> > > > > i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the athlete

> in

> > > > my

> > > > > youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i am

> > > > paranoid

> > > > > about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far). has

> > anyone

> > > > else

> > > > > had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me that

> i

> > > > feel

> > > > > almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

> > > > >

> > > > > bink

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

man, finding pants that fit was tough for me. my big area is my

thighs. they're big. not BIZARRELY ALIEN HUGE or anything, but they

are the determining factor in clothes sizes, NOT the waist. my waist

has always been small. even when i was 180, i still had a pretty tiny

waist, comparatively. my littlest sister, though, sounds like she's

built just like you. she's 5'10 " , looks just like a pinup model.

huge boobs, tiny waist, big hips. totally an hourglass. in the

family, i was the " smart one, " the middle one was the " funny one, " and

she was the " cute one. " it's weird because in reality, we're all

SMART, FUNNY, and CUTE. wtf?

she's seriously athletic, too. plays soccer, uses her bike to get

around (went on a 2 hr bike ride with her to my mom's house yesterday,

in fact). it's really kind of weird, actually. since she moved out,

my little sisters and i have all become more physically active. i was

talking to my middle sister last night, and out of the blue, no

prompting from me, she started telling me how she felt shame about

trying to improve her body. i was like, WTF?!?!?1 I HAVE BEEN

FEELING THIS WAY ALL WEEK! very interesting. i guess this feeling is

more common than i thought!

i am mainly doing cardio right now (about 2 hrs every day). the

middle sister is way into pilates, but i have never had the stamina to

keep at it before. i got a core balance ball thing, though, and i'm

going to try it! yoga is something i would want to do with an

instructor. i didn't feel like i could get into it when i was younger

because my mom used to do a lot of yoga and she would just sort of

take it over and push me out, in a weird sort of way...

i know i should be doing more resistance training, but right now, i

really just want to get skinny. i was joking with my best pal (he's

suddenly on a cardio workout kick, too), that we want to look like

heroine users, but for some reason we're doing it the hard way. i

think that once i lose weight, i will want to bulk up in my arms some.

my shoulders are pretty narrow and i have always envied people who

can do pull ups.

bink

> > > > > >

> > > > > > i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been

> > > > > officially

> > > > > > exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for

> > > > > transportation

> > > > > > on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a day,

> > > > which

> > > > > is

> > > > > > downright sensible when you take into account the fact that

> > my

> > > > diet

> > > > > is

> > > > > > mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird

> > because

> > > > > i've

> > > > > > got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me from

> > > doing

> > > > > this

> > > > > > before?

> > > > > >

> > > > > > i have been investigating this question and when i tell

> > people

> > > > how

> > > > > much

> > > > > > i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on me.

> > i

> > > > > find

> > > > > > myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it

> > back. "

> > > > why

> > > > > am

> > > > > > i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the athlete

> > in

> > > > > my

> > > > > > youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i am

> > > > > paranoid

> > > > > > about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far). has

> > > anyone

> > > > > else

> > > > > > had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me that

> > i

> > > > > feel

> > > > > > almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > bink

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

that's pretty funny, it sounds like your parents were really reaching

to find something to make you feel insecure about and all they could

come up with was your feet. It's real obvious they don't want us to

have any damn self-esteem, isn't it.

I can relate on the jeans. I haven't worn them in years and now

honestly to me they just are not desirable clothing and I find them

pretty tacky looking. The fabric has zero give unless they are stretch-

jeans and because of that and because of the way that they fade, they

accentuate the quote-unquote problem areas that all women feel they

have. I don't know why women even try to wear them, because they

couldn't have come up with a more challenging article of clothing

besides a bikini to show everything that is not the imaginary 'normal'

(i.e. the 18 year old boy figure that few women actually have)

[Guest guest]

We cut high fructose corn syrup out of our diet several months ago &

dropped an instant 6-7 lbs. apiece. The kids are much happier &

calmer too - less behavioral problems overall. My best friend from

high school had lap band surgery & her first follow up recommendation

was to get all the hfcs & regular corn syrup out of her diet.

I have found that if my senses aren't continually BLASTED! with cs &

hfcs I enjoy foods that are healthy a whole lot more and am no longer

subject to the whims & desires of my sweet tooth. Also, in my 30s I

started getting the monthly chin hair (you ladies know what I mean)

and that has stopped cold since removing both these from my diet.

> > > > >

> > > > > i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been

> > > > officially

> > > > > exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for

> > > > transportation

> > > > > on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a day,

> > > which

> > > > is

> > > > > downright sensible when you take into account the fact that

> my

> > > diet

> > > > is

> > > > > mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird

> because

> > > > i've

> > > > > got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me from

> > doing

> > > > this

> > > > > before?

> > > > >

> > > > > i have been investigating this question and when i tell

> people

> > > how

> > > > much

> > > > > i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on

me.

> i

> > > > find

> > > > > myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it

> back. "

> > > why

> > > > am

> > > > > i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the

athlete

> in

> > > > my

> > > > > youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i am

> > > > paranoid

> > > > > about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far). has

> > anyone

> > > > else

> > > > > had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me

that

> i

> > > > feel

> > > > > almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

> > > > >

> > > > > bink

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Hey Bink, if you want your butt (errr abs) kicked, get Gaiam's ab pilates

workout with Ana Cabon. I have strong abs from dance but I am still sore for

like 2 days every time I do that video. It's only 25 minutes, so it's over

really quick and then you can get on with your day.

It stinks that your mom ruined yoga for you. Yoga is my perfect workout. I

wish I did 2 hours of cardio a day! I do about an hour and then yoga and

dance are both mixed cardio/strength workouts. I've always enjoyed strength

workouts more than cardio for some reason. I also like workouts that use the

brain a lot, like yoga, dance, raquetball, soccer all do - you can't worry

or dwell on anything if you are trying to hit a beat at the right moment. I

guess that's my escapist drug of choice. I can't do pullups either, but I do

know how to work on it and improve. My thighs are my super strong area, have

to have strong legs for my dance stuff.

I dont' eat HFCS either, but my butt is still as big as . . . well you get

the idea. I can understand why God made curvy women, but I'll never

understand where skinny jeans come from.

> We cut high fructose corn syrup out of our diet several months ago &

> dropped an instant 6-7 lbs. apiece. The kids are much happier &

> calmer too - less behavioral problems overall. My best friend from

> high school had lap band surgery & her first follow up recommendation

> was to get all the hfcs & regular corn syrup out of her diet.

>

> I have found that if my senses aren't continually BLASTED! with cs &

> hfcs I enjoy foods that are healthy a whole lot more and am no longer

> subject to the whims & desires of my sweet tooth. Also, in my 30s I

> started getting the monthly chin hair (you ladies know what I mean)

> and that has stopped cold since removing both these from my diet.

>

>

> > > > > >

> > > > > > i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been

> > > > > officially

> > > > > > exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for

> > > > > transportation

> > > > > > on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a day,

> > > > which

> > > > > is

> > > > > > downright sensible when you take into account the fact that

> > my

> > > > diet

> > > > > is

> > > > > > mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird

> > because

> > > > > i've

> > > > > > got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me from

> > > doing

> > > > > this

> > > > > > before?

> > > > > >

> > > > > > i have been investigating this question and when i tell

> > people

> > > > how

> > > > > much

> > > > > > i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on

> me.

> > i

> > > > > find

> > > > > > myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it

> > back. "

> > > > why

> > > > > am

> > > > > > i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the

> athlete

> > in

> > > > > my

> > > > > > youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i am

> > > > > paranoid

> > > > > > about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far). has

> > > anyone

> > > > > else

> > > > > > had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me

> that

> > i

> > > > > feel

> > > > > > almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > bink

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Skinny jeans come from a guy with a bad sense of humor.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > i have finally decided to really get in shape. i've been

> > > > > > officially

> > > > > > > exercising for 1.5 - 2 hrs a day and using my bike for

> > > > > > transportation

> > > > > > > on top of that. i'm also eating around 1600 calories a

day,

> > > > > which

> > > > > > is

> > > > > > > downright sensible when you take into account the fact

that

> > > my

> > > > > diet

> > > > > > is

> > > > > > > mostly vegetarian as it is. this has been really weird

> > > because

> > > > > > i've

> > > > > > > got plenty of motivation to do this. what has kept me

from

> > > > doing

> > > > > > this

> > > > > > > before?

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > i have been investigating this question and when i tell

> > > people

> > > > > how

> > > > > > much

> > > > > > > i exercise, it's like i'm expecting them to freak out on

> > me.

> > > i

> > > > > > find

> > > > > > > myself offering the excuse, " well, i can always gain it

> > > back. "

> > > > > why

> > > > > > am

> > > > > > > i doing this? what is going on? my mom was quite the

> > athlete

> > > in

> > > > > > my

> > > > > > > youth, but she has gained weight and is a bit chunky. i

am

> > > > > > paranoid

> > > > > > > about when she notices my weight loss (4 lbs so far).

has

> > > > anyone

> > > > > > else

> > > > > > > had thoughts like this before? it's kind of weird to me

> > that

> > > i

> > > > > > feel

> > > > > > > almost like i don't deserve to even try to lose weight.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > bink

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >